Delivery man tells young boy to stop dressing as a fairy.

First topic message reminder :

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/mum-furious-after-son-wearing-8975210?ICID=FB_mirror_main


"Wendy, who also has a two-year-old daughter, Felicity, said she couldn't believe her ears.
She said: "If he had said it's unusual to be a fairy, we wouldn't have have thought too much of it but saying someone should take Isaac to one side implies he was doing something wrong.
"I feel disappointed that there are still people in this world that ask questions like that and and think it is their right to tell other people what they can and cannot wear.
"My son has been more reluctant to wear his fairy dress since, he has only worn it once or twice whereas he used to wear it all the time."



Obviously the delivery driver should have minded his own business, but should a 4 year old boy be encouraged to dress up as a fairy?

HoratioTarr wrote:

Syl wrote:

At 4 he is unlikely to know whether he is gay or not ....and don't  most gay men dress in male clothes anyway?

Of course he didn't know he was gay.   What child knows their sexuality at that age? My point is, at a very early age, he showed feminine preferences for dress and behaviour.  My two other brothers would stomp around in wellies and pretendy workman gear with their Tonka trucks, but the gay one preferred doing what a girl would do.      

Don't you think that's stereotyping a bit?
Lots of gay men are macho lots of straight men flounce about like old women.

I would have had a hard time keeping myself from punching him over a thing like that. What business is it of his?

And yeah, what kids dress up as at that age has nothing to do with sexual orientation. Lots of boys dress up as female characters when they're playing; lots of girls dress up as male characters.

Syl wrote:

HoratioTarr wrote:

Of course he didn't know he was gay.   What child knows their sexuality at that age? My point is, at a very early age, he showed feminine preferences for dress and behaviour.  My two other brothers would stomp around in wellies and pretendy workman gear with their Tonka trucks, but the gay one preferred doing what a girl would do.      

Don't you think that's stereotyping a bit?
Lots of gay men are macho lots of straight men  flounce about like old women.

Now who is stereotyping?

HoratioTarr wrote:

Syl wrote:

Don't you think that's stereotyping a bit?
Lots of gay men are macho lots of straight men  flounce about like old women.

Now who is stereotyping?  

You were.

My son had a group of friends growing up from being 5 years old to now.....guess out of the group which one was gay, the most laddish one of the lot.
Many camp men are straight....they just adopt that attitude when they are young and stick with it.

Ben Reilly wrote:I would have had a hard time keeping myself from punching him over a thing like that. What business is it of his?

And yeah, what kids dress up as at that age has nothing to do with sexual orientation. Lots of boys dress up as female characters when they're playing; lots of girls dress up as male characters.

Well said. I'd have stabbed him in the eyes with my boy's fairly wand.

eddie wrote:

Ben Reilly wrote:I would have had a hard time keeping myself from punching him over a thing like that. What business is it of his?

And yeah, what kids dress up as at that age has nothing to do with sexual orientation. Lots of boys dress up as female characters when they're playing; lots of girls dress up as male characters.

Well said. I'd have stabbed him in the eyes with my boy's fairly wand.

We all agree on something.....the man is an idiot.

eddie wrote:

Major wrote:Sounds like a load of 'who shot John' to me.

What sort of mother would LET a boy dress as a fairy?

A mother who is pretty easy about a four year old wanting to dress up?  Four year olds are funny creatures, today they only want to drink out of the Minnie Mouse cup but tomorrow they will cry if you give them the Minnie Mouse cup instead of the Princess Tiana one.  It means nothing.

My tactic for getting my children to do what I actually want whilst making it look like it's their decision, is to offer them two choices of my choosing, so I don't mind which they choose.

And really, what's the harm? Peter Pan was cool and he had wings.

That's exactly what we get with politics...

I think the delivery bloke has done the boy a favour...

Tommy Monk wrote:
I think the delivery bloke has done the boy a favour...

Why? Do you think it would harm the boy to dress that way?

A boy in a fairy dress is wrong and he needed to be told for his own good.

Tommy Monk wrote:

A boy in a fairy dress is wrong and he needed to be told for his own good.

Yes we know you think it's wrong, but WHY is it wrong?
I'm always asking you for 'whys' Tommy. Why is that?

Because it is...

Well let's see...I like guessing games and I've already done the jellybeans in a jar this week so.....I'm guessing....you think it will turn him gay?

Because if any of his play mates saw him in it he would be bullied, and knowing kids, when he was at School they would call him "Fairy"

nicko wrote:Because if any of his play mates saw him in it he would be bullied, and knowing kids, when he was at School they would call him "Fairy"

So we must be taught to not do the things we like in case we get bullied?

Tommy Monk wrote:

A boy in a fairy dress is wrong and he needed to be told for his own good.

How is he "wrong"? What exactly is "wrong" about it?

We are the adults and need to be guiding the kids to be doing what is right...


Not just letting them do what ever they feel like at any and every point they want... it's called responsible parenting and leadership...


Boys don't wear fairy dresses...!


And if you think they should... then there is something wrong with you!!!

If you do not think it is wrong for a BOY to dress if fairy clothes then ya must be trolling..

WHY WOU ANY OF YOU encourage a baby to grow up to possibly become a ****** **** ******* homosexual?

Major wrote:If you do not think it is wrong for a BOY to dress if fairy clothes then ya must be trolling..

WHY WOU ANY OF YOU encourage a baby to grow up to possibly become a ****** **** ******* homosexual?

Don't you think people are born with the sexuality they are Major?
I don't think anything can change what a person is....I do think it can cause confusion if they are not guided though.

I can see nothing wrong with a boy dressing up as a fairy, a girl dressing up as Spider-Man, etc. More importantly, nobody in this thread has been able to prove why it's wrong, other than Major opining that it could somehow cause them to be gay.

First of all, that is so unbelievably ignorant! You don't choose who you're attracted to.

Second of all, there's nothing wrong with being gay!

Ben Reilly wrote:

Tommy Monk wrote:

A boy in a fairy dress is wrong and he needed to be told for his own good.

How is he "wrong"? What exactly is "wrong" about it?

If ya don't know the answer to that Ben, ask Bill, he may know.

Ben Reilly wrote:I can see nothing wrong with a boy dressing up as a fairy, a girl dressing up as Spider-Man, etc. More importantly, nobody in this thread has been able to prove why it's wrong, other than Major opining that it could somehow cause them to be gay.

First of all, that is so unbelievably ignorant! You don't choose who you're attracted to.

Second of all, there's nothing wrong with being gay!

Nobody in this thread has been able to prove why the opposing view is wrong either.

A child of 4 wants and needs to fit in with his peers, anything that separates him (and constantly dressing up as a fairy would) and marks him out as different would cause upset for him.....unless you want your child to be the odd one out why would you encourage it?
Kids need guidance...boys are boys and girls are girls, that's not stifling them, it's guiding them.

Syl wrote:

Ben Reilly wrote:I can see nothing wrong with a boy dressing up as a fairy, a girl dressing up as Spider-Man, etc. More importantly, nobody in this thread has been able to prove why it's wrong, other than Major opining that it could somehow cause them to be gay.

First of all, that is so unbelievably ignorant! You don't choose who you're attracted to.

Second of all, there's nothing wrong with being gay!

Nobody in this thread has been able to prove why the opposing view is wrong either.

A child of 4 wants and needs to fit in with his peers, anything that separates him (and constantly dressing up as a fairy would) and marks him out as different would cause upset for him.....unless you want your child to be the odd one out why would you encourage it?
Kids need  guidance...boys are boys and girls are girls,  that's not stifling them, it's guiding them.

Best to let the kid figure that out on his own. Kids are constantly looking at other people for cues about how the world works, and they figure out a lot more than we tend to give them credit for.

Major wrote:

Ben Reilly wrote:

Tommy Monk wrote:

A boy in a fairy dress is wrong and he needed to be told for his own good.

How is he "wrong"? What exactly is "wrong" about it?

If ya don't know the answer to that Ben, ask Bill, he may know.

Bill who?

Ben Reilly wrote:

Syl wrote:

Nobody in this thread has been able to prove why the opposing view is wrong either.

A child of 4 wants and needs to fit in with his peers, anything that separates him (and constantly dressing up as a fairy would) and marks him out as different would cause upset for him.....unless you want your child to be the odd one out why would you encourage it?
Kids need  guidance...boys are boys and girls are girls,  that's not stifling them, it's guiding them.

Best to let the kid figure that out on his own. Kids are constantly looking at other people for cues about how the world works, and they figure out a lot more than we tend to give them credit for.

Yes that's true, but we ease the way for them by guiding them before they realise their behaviour is singling them out.

Syl wrote:

Ben Reilly wrote:

Syl wrote:

Nobody in this thread has been able to prove why the opposing view is wrong either.

A child of 4 wants and needs to fit in with his peers, anything that separates him (and constantly dressing up as a fairy would) and marks him out as different would cause upset for him.....unless you want your child to be the odd one out why would you encourage it?
Kids need  guidance...boys are boys and girls are girls,  that's not stifling them, it's guiding them.

Best to let the kid figure that out on his own. Kids are constantly looking at other people for cues about how the world works, and they figure out a lot more than we tend to give them credit for.

Yes that's true, but we ease the way for them by guiding them before they realise their behaviour is singling them out.

So what if he's singled out? People are singled out every day, why should he be encouraged to conformity over something as trivial as this?

Syl wrote:

HoratioTarr wrote:

Of course he didn't know he was gay.   What child knows their sexuality at that age? My point is, at a very early age, he showed feminine preferences for dress and behaviour.  My two other brothers would stomp around in wellies and pretendy workman gear with their Tonka trucks, but the gay one preferred doing what a girl would do.      

Don't you think that's stereotyping a bit?
Lots of gay men are macho lots of straight men  flounce about like old women.

It's stereotyping to say that old women flounce about.

Raggamuffin wrote:

Syl wrote:

Don't you think that's stereotyping a bit?
Lots of gay men are macho lots of straight men  flounce about like old women.

It's stereotyping to say that old women flounce about.

No. it's descriptive.

What's wrong is the attention seeking on the part of the mother, along with photos of the boy - in the national press FFS. What is wrong with people?

Ben Reilly wrote:

Syl wrote:
Yes that's true, but we ease the way for them by guiding them before they realise their behaviour is singling them out.

So what if he's singled out? People are singled out every day, why should he be encouraged to conformity over something as trivial as this?

When you are 4 it's not trivial.

Syl wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

It's stereotyping to say that old women flounce about.

No. it's descriptive.

In what way? How do old women "flounce about"?

Raggamuffin wrote:What's wrong is the attention seeking on the part of the mother, along with photos of the boy - in the national press FFS. What is wrong with people?

That's true...if he wasn't singled out before he will be now.
I said at the start she is more concerned with herself than him.

Ben Reilly wrote:

Syl wrote:

Ben Reilly wrote:I can see nothing wrong with a boy dressing up as a fairy, a girl dressing up as Spider-Man, etc. More importantly, nobody in this thread has been able to prove why it's wrong, other than Major opining that it could somehow cause them to be gay.

First of all, that is so unbelievably ignorant! You don't choose who you're attracted to.

Second of all, there's nothing wrong with being gay!

Nobody in this thread has been able to prove why the opposing view is wrong either.

A child of 4 wants and needs to fit in with his peers, anything that separates him (and constantly dressing up as a fairy would) and marks him out as different would cause upset for him.....unless you want your child to be the odd one out why would you encourage it?
Kids need  guidance...boys are boys and girls are girls,  that's not stifling them, it's guiding them.

Best to let the kid figure that out on his own. Kids are constantly looking at other people for cues about how the world works, and they figure out a lot more than we tend to give them credit for.

That is exactly the point.

And for everyone else, what are you going to say to your son when he asks "Why mummy? Why can't I wear a dress?"

Because what you say next is very important.

If people don't want delivery men to say anything to their children, they shouldn't let the children answer the door.

It's strange how so many of the people who feature in this kind of article have a disability.

Raggamuffin wrote:

Syl wrote:

No. it's descriptive.

In what way? How do old women "flounce about"?

They all have their own individual style....some even flounce about on forums.

Syl wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

In what way? How do old women "flounce about"?

They all have their own individual style....some even flounce about on forums.

So do old men - and young ones.

eddie wrote:

Ben Reilly wrote:

Best to let the kid figure that out on his own. Kids are constantly looking at other people for cues about how the world works, and they figure out a lot more than we tend to give them credit for.

That is exactly the point.

And for everyone else, what are you going to say to your son when he asks "Why mummy? Why can't I wear a dress?"

Because what you say next is very important.

How about...because little girls wear dresses and you are a little boy?

Syl wrote:

Ben Reilly wrote:

Syl wrote:
Yes that's true, but we ease the way for them by guiding them before they realise their behaviour is singling them out.

So what if he's singled out? People are singled out every day, why should he be encouraged to conformity over something as trivial as this?

When you are 4 it's not trivial.

That's when the responsible adults step in and explain to other children that it doesn't matter what people want to wear and that we are all different.

Should a child not wear glasses (too geeky) braids in her hair (too African) big flouncy dresses (too big fat gypsy wedding)...? And on and on.

Where do you stop?

Raggamuffin wrote:

Syl wrote:

They all have their own individual style....some even flounce about on forums.

So do old men - and young ones.

Well I don't mind if you want to expand the word flounce to others.

Syl wrote:

eddie wrote:

Ben Reilly wrote:

Best to let the kid figure that out on his own. Kids are constantly looking at other people for cues about how the world works, and they figure out a lot more than we tend to give them credit for.

That is exactly the point.

And for everyone else, what are you going to say to your son when he asks "Why mummy? Why can't I wear a dress?"

Because what you say next is very important.

How about...because little girls wear dresses and you are a little boy?

"But Jessica wears trousers mummy. How come you let my sister wear trousers?"

eddie wrote:

Syl wrote:

When you are 4 it's not trivial.

That's when the responsible adults step in and explain to other children that it doesn't matter what people want to wear and that we are all different.

Should a child not wear glasses (too geeky)  braids in her hair (too African) big flouncy dresses (too big fat gypsy wedding)...? And on and on.

Where do you stop?

It does matter though, that's why schools have uniforms, which you agree with I think.
Individuality is great....but there are boundaries for kids unless you want them to be different, and most kids don't want to be different.

Little boys shouldn't wear dresses IMO.

eddie wrote:

Syl wrote:

How about...because little girls wear dresses and you are a little boy?

"But Jessica wears trousers mummy. How come you let my sister wear trousers?"

Trousers are unisex Eddie, I am wearing them myself.

Syl wrote:

eddie wrote:

Syl wrote:

How about...because little girls wear dresses and you are a little boy?

"But Jessica wears trousers mummy. How come you let my sister wear trousers?"

Trousers are unisex Eddie, I am wearing them myself.

"What does unisex mean mummy?"

eddie wrote:

Syl wrote:

Trousers are unisex Eddie, I am wearing them myself.

"What does unisex mean mummy?"

Well little Eddie, it means that some clothes can be worn by both little boys and girls...like trousers, hats, coats, jumpers etc...and some clothes are worn just by little girls, like dresses, skirts, tights etc....Now, shall we play a game and stop mithering me about the bleedin obvious?

Oh dear, what you gonna do if he wears a kilt (sigh)

The delivery driver should have been given a good slap.   My kids had a big dressing up box when they were little, they all used to wear anything in it, and my two girls used to dress their brother up as anything, which he took in good part.   He was daft enough to join the cubs at one time and in their Christmas play, because he had gold colour hair, they dressed him up as Goldilocks.   He's 6.5" with a family and played rugby etc.   I can't believe that in this day and age people still think that what children wear when they are young will effect their sexuality.   Sexuality is in your genetic make up - wearing a skirt won't make a jot of difference.

No because you've just confused him. His next question will be "Why are some clothes unisex?"

And you don't really know the answer if you're honest. Who does?

What you're really saying is:
"I don't want you to wear that dress because boys aren't supposed to wear dresses (don't know why that is, we've just been told that once - my mum told me) and if you do wear it then you might get called a name (that won't be your fault but you will have to be the one to make the sacrifice even though you've done nothing wrong) and life is just easier if we wear what we are supposed to and mummy won't worry and you won't have to deal with bullies until they may find something else to bully you about if you're unlucky"

And Syl I don't get it. It's like bowing down to what other's think and at the same time planting the seed that they must "always fit in".

They have enough time at senior school having to wear uniforms and at work all their adult life - why not let them just be children?

eddie wrote:No because you've just confused him. His next question will be "Why are some clothes unisex?"

And you don't really know the answer if you're honest. Who does?

What you're really saying is:
"I don't want you to wear that dress because boys aren't supposed to wear dresses (don't know why that is, we've just been told that once - my mum told me) and if you do wear it then you might get called a name (that won't be your fault but you will have to be the one to make the sacrifice even though you've done nothing wrong) and life is just easier if we wear what we are supposed to and mummy won't worry and you won't have to deal with bullies until they may find something else to bully you about if you're unlucky"

And Syl I don't get it.  It's like bowing down to what other's think and at the same time planting the seed that they must "always fit in".

They have enough time at senior school having to wear uniforms and at work all their adult life  - why not let them just be children?

Have a greenie.