Ann Widdecombe

First topic message reminder :

http://news.sky.com/story/ann-widdecombe-science-may-produce-an-answer-to-homosexuality-11733559

Not just ugly, but impossibly stupid, homophobic, racist, has become a right wing extremist and appears as mad as a bag of frogs.
I wonder whether she spread for Nigel?
It's clear to see why he recruited her.
I cannot understand why she is so anti gay, when no bloke in his right mind would want to impale her.

Well Didge, I was trying to point out how attitudes change to what is acceptable in society, then you mentioned homosexuality had been acceptable before Abrahamic religions came along, so I just wanted to remind you many other things that have been unacceptable, even quite recently, were also acceptable in previous societies and that attitudes to them had changed, for good I would hope, as attitudes for many have changed toward homosexuality.

Vintage wrote:Well Didge, I was trying to point out how attitudes change to what is acceptable in society, then you mentioned homosexuality had been acceptable before Abrahamic religions came along, so I just wanted to remind you many other things that have been unacceptable, even quite recently, were also acceptable in previous societies and that attitudes to them had changed, for good I would hope, as attitudes for many have changed toward homosexuality.

I completely understand where you are coming from and why its very important tyo understand how in the past we went from many people having rights even more so women before. In how that changed with the advent of the abrahamic religions. Women in Spartan, Celtic, Anglo saxon, even early islamic societies had many views that had equality for women. Hence we need to look at this as to what drove these views for many centuries as to be seen as something abd, and that is religion. It has been secular and humanism, that has taken up the mantle to challenge these poor views, that has brought up the well being and equality of people. This includes ending slavery, equal rights for women, homosexuals, trans people, religious people ect.. So its the very nature of a sexular ideals that have brought up the very freedom views points that you live by today and the very ones that are entrenched in freedoms for people. So going off where religious intolerance has allowed poor things to pass through history, means what ecactly? That said beliefs have always been a problem in dogmatic beliefs? Just as extreme political beliefs have been? I mean are you seriously trying to teach me to suck eggs on historical knowledge here, negating what causes and creates all this?

So I fail to see the point you are even making.

It's been a good thread this one, I'm sure Andy knew exactly what he was doing when he made the controversial first post.

Oh well not to worry, I'm not going to try and explain again.

Vintage wrote:Oh well not to worry, I'm not going to try and explain again.

Why not? Is that a lack of patience, because i simple cannot see the point you are making? Just because bad ideas became part of a society. Takes nothing away from the view point I made when earlier societies at least to some extent. valued the well being and equality within their own societies for good or bad. For example we know the Spartans had a brutal system that enslaved people, far exceeding their own population. Yet they did offer more equality for the time, than any other greek society fopr women and homosexuals . Its called looking at the very foundations of well being and equality in its infancy. We know that celtic societies, though tribal held great views and equality for women. So the point is going off previous bad ideas or ideas introduced though this being even worse. Ignoring it was generally only religious theocratic hateful views that have generally plauge history with this and pointing this out to you. To then you fail to ignore the difference means what exactly vintage?

Like I said, all views that have helped progress society, have been based on one sole principle, secular values

phildidge wrote:

Vintage wrote:Well Didge, I was trying to point out how attitudes change to what is acceptable in society, then you mentioned homosexuality had been acceptable before Abrahamic religions came along, so I just wanted to remind you many other things that have been unacceptable, even quite recently, were also acceptable in previous societies and that attitudes to them had changed, for good I would hope, as attitudes for many have changed toward homosexuality.

I mean are you seriously trying to teach me to suck eggs

yeah, vin,,,,how very dare you


surely you know by now that didge has been champion egg sucker for years

he's an expert you know

gelico wrote:

phildidge wrote:
I mean are you seriously trying to teach me to suck eggs

yeah, vin,,,,how very dare you


surely you know by now that didge has been champion egg sucker for years

he's an expert you know

Wow, so because i want vintage to further explain what she means, you take this as a cue to act like a toddler?

Seriously?

Grow the fuck up

phildidge wrote:

gelico wrote:


yeah, vin,,,,how very dare you


surely you know by now that didge has been champion egg sucker for years

he's an expert you know

Wow, so because i want vintage to  further explain what she means, you take this as a cue to act like a toddler?

Seriously?

Grow the fuck up

yeah, cos you sound like a loon

the first line of your post said ''I completely understand where you are coming from''

then you ramble on for a few lines

and then end up saying ''So I fail to see the point you are even making.''

make up your mind

you're fucking hilarious

phildidge wrote:

gelico wrote:


yeah, vin,,,,how very dare you


surely you know by now that didge has been champion egg sucker for years

he's an expert you know

Wow, so because i want vintage to  further explain what she means, you take this as a cue to act like a toddler?

Seriously?

Grow the fuck up

oh, didgiepoos, you gone and went and gave me a red, so you did

ya little scamp

gelico wrote:

phildidge wrote:

Wow, so because i want vintage to  further explain what she means, you take this as a cue to act like a toddler?

Seriously?

Grow the fuck up

yeah, cos you sound like a loon

the first line of your post said ''I completely understand where you are coming from''

then you ramble on for a few lines

and then end up saying  ''So I fail to see the point you are even making.''

make up your mind

you're fucking hilarious

So yet again we have the infantile brigade

Just because I understand where she is coming from, does not mean I understand all the points she is making and hence asked to expand on this. As I do not see the point she is making based on the exchange of points based on this

I then because I donot fully understand all her pioints then have to ensure your immature nature to jump in and act like a two year old, based on how you have read my points

Like i said, either add to the debate or seriously grow up, because you are acting like an immature twat

gelico wrote:

phildidge wrote:

Wow, so because i want vintage to  further explain what she means, you take this as a cue to act like a toddler?

Seriously?

Grow the fuck up

oh, didgiepoos, you gone and went and gave me a red, so you did  

ya little scamp

Yes because you are acting like an immature child. I enjoy serious debate. If you want to act like an idiot and spoil debates, just because i cannot understand all her points, then I suggest you go to the park and play on the swings

Why don't you fuck off again, for good this time ?
the week you were away was wonderful , no arguments ,we all got along without your crap !

phildidge wrote:

gelico wrote:


yeah, cos you sound like a loon

the first line of your post said ''I completely understand where you are coming from''

then you ramble on for a few lines

and then end up saying  ''So I fail to see the point you are even making.''

make up your mind

you're fucking hilarious

So yet again we have the infantile brigade

Just because I understand where she is coming from, does not mean I understand all the points she is making and hence asked to expand on this.

there you are then, clearly you didn't ''completely'' understand where she was coming from did you, so you shouldn't have said you did

you lied

phildidge wrote:

gelico wrote:


oh, didgiepoos, you gone and went and gave me a red, so you did  

ya little scamp

Yes because you are acting like an immature child. I enjoy serious debate. If you want to act like an idiot and spoil debates, just because i cannot understand all her points, then I suggest you go to the park and play on the swings

oh stop being such a old miseryguts crosspatch. i'm only having a laugh with you (or was trying to)


what's wrong with you anyway?

nicko wrote:Why don't you fuck off again, for good this time ?
       the week you were away was wonderful , no arguments ,we all got along without your crap !

why don't you say how you really feel,nick?


no good beating about the bush, now is it?

This is what really fucks me off. Unlike you gelico, I actually enjoy a serious debate and whilst I maye see where Vintage is coming from and actually respect her like I do with you. I dont understand some of the points she is making off the past wrings that were allowed by law, because she has not elborated on this. Yet you take this as view to mock me and take the piss and why I now find more joy elsewhere where people have serious debate without immature wallies like you. This is a serious debate and it may not be to you, but it matters to me. They may mean nothing to you and a view to take the piss but for you to make a play on my words and think this is funny. Seriously makes me even more not even want to even be here, when you act like a dick. It maybe a joke to you on some things, but things like you never effect you in this way does it? So maybe before you jump in acting chidish and look to boost your own ego and then laugh at me. Then please be my guest if that is what you get your kicks from.

Good luck with that

gelico wrote:

phildidge wrote:

So yet again we have the infantile brigade

Just because I understand where she is coming from, does not mean I understand all the points she is making and hence asked to expand on this.

there you are then, clearly you didn't ''completely'' understand where she was coming from did you, so you shouldn't have said you did

you lied

So you think understanding where someone is coming from is the same as understanding in full what they mean?

Please explain that to me ?

How is that then me lying?

Like I said, this is all you are interested in, with some gotcha, so what gotcha did you make here?

gelico wrote:

phildidge wrote:

Yes because you are acting like an immature child. I enjoy serious debate. If you want to act like an idiot and spoil debates, just because i cannot understand all her points, then I suggest you go to the park and play on the swings

oh stop being such a old miseryguts crosspatch.  i'm only having a laugh with  you (or was trying to)


what's wrong with you anyway?

Whats wrong with me at this present is you, making poor assumptions on me and calling me a liar. Based not on evidence but your own assumptions

So maybe I am not in the mood for your humour or anybody else
Or did that even crosss your mind?

phildidge wrote: but for you to make a play on my words and think this is funny. Seriously makes me even more not even want to even be here, when you act like a dick.

why you being such a sensitive little princess all of a sudden?

can't you take a joke now?

heads up, didge,,,,no one is forcing you to be here

no idea what your problem is but you are a major buzzkill

just letting you know

nicko wrote:Why don't you fuck off again, for good this time ?
       the week you were away was wonderful , no arguments ,we all got along without your crap !

Thank you for your kind words

gelico wrote:

phildidge wrote: but for you to make a play on my words and think this is funny. Seriously makes me even more not even want to even be here, when you act like a dick.  

why you being such a sensitive little princess all of a sudden?

can't you take a joke now?

heads up, didge,,,,no one is forcing you to be here

no idea what your problem is but you are a major buzzkill

just letting you know

That says it all

I know nobody is forcing me to be here and just want to debate, so why not stop derailing debates?

So you want me to conform to your humour, when i do not want to.

Then stop looking to jump in being a complete immature child gelico. If you get kicks out of gotcha,s which again you have wrongly mistaken, then laugh all you like, if this is how you get your kicks out life, at the expense of others

Heads up gelico, sometimes you are also an arse

phildidge wrote:

gelico wrote:


there you are then, clearly you didn't ''completely'' understand where she was coming from did you, so you shouldn't have said you did

you lied

So you think understanding where someone is coming from is the same as understanding in full what they mean?

you said ''completely'' which means ''in full'' so you were wrong

i was joking when i said ''you lied''

and no, i had no idea you were in this freaky humourless mood and would take everything the wrong way and be really miserable

maybe you should give folk prior warning

or just stay away till you can cheer up a bit

you are being a miserable old sod

He'll turn on anyone if he thinks they're getting the better of him. He's a joke !

gelico wrote:

phildidge wrote:
So you think understanding where someone is coming from is the same as understanding in full what they mean?

you said ''completely'' which means ''in full'' so you were wrong

i was joking when i said ''you lied''

and no, i had no idea you were in this freaky humourless mood and would take everything the wrong way and be really miserable

maybe you should give folk prior warning

or just stay away till you can cheer up a bit

you are being a miserable old sod

Understanding where someone is coming from, the word from, their view from, is not the same as understanding then all that they say. It means I understand their motivations

So lets askk you whether you even understand that.

Yes or no?

I mean this is basic grammar here, and i am shit at english grammar, but understanding the motivations of people, is not the same as understanding what they mean

Well I am going though a really crap time at the moment and its hard to be humorous, or are you that stupid to understand that, when i am simple here to debate. Just because you are in a happy place at the moment, does not mean I am with what is happening with my family and to think this makes me humourless, shows how inconsiderate you are being. I would love to be more happy at the moment and yet find this an avenue to escape from the crap that is going on. Hope that helps explains for you.

Syl wrote:It's been a good thread this one, I'm sure Andy knew exactly what he was doing when he made the controversial first post.

Ooops...posting that seems to have been the kiss of death.

Syl wrote:

Syl wrote:It's been a good thread this one, I'm sure Andy knew exactly what he was doing when he made the controversial first post.

Ooops...posting that seems to have been the kiss of death.

Dont worry syl, I am sending Ben a Pm to place me in the basement and that way am not tempted to debate, whillst what i deal with what is going  on. That way not drawn into such silly childish antics. I go back to ireland tomorrow anyway

All the best and no hard feelings to you or Gelico

Takes care and may see you soon but more likely the end of the month

x

phildidge wrote:

Syl wrote:

Ooops...posting that seems to have been the kiss of death.

Dont worry syl, I am sending Ben a Pm to place me in the basement and that way am not tempted to debate, whillst what i deal with what is going  on. That way not drawn into such silly childish antics. I go back to ireland tomorrow anyway

All the best and no hard feelings to you or Gelico

Takes care and may see you soon but more likely the end of the month

x

Take care Didge. x

Bye for now, see you later then.

phildidge wrote:

Syl wrote:

Ooops...posting that seems to have been the kiss of death.

Dont worry syl, I am sending Ben a Pm to place me in the basement and that way am not tempted to debate, whillst what i deal with what is going  on. That way not drawn into such silly childish antics. I go back to ireland tomorrow anyway

All the best and no hard feelings to you or Gelico

Takes care and may see you soon but more likely the end of the month

x

sorry for being a wind up, i was in a silly mood and didn't stop to think how you are feeling


take care didge

I do hope that Didge can dig himself out of his black dog moods, as Churchill famously described them. Trying to make a light-hearted remark about one of his threads or posts attracts the sort of reaction that one might expect in response to a joke about the price of embalming fluid at a convention of undertakers.

For God's sake, old chap, stop taking yourself so bloody seriously. People in this and other forums have been lampooning both my passion for the correct use of English and my faith and belief in God for years, but throwing a megawobbly over every cutting remark would in all probability have (a) elevated my blood pressure to dangerous levels and (b) had absolutely no effect on them whatsoever.

gelico wrote:

phildidge wrote:

Dont worry syl, I am sending Ben a Pm to place me in the basement and that way am not tempted to debate, whillst what i deal with what is going  on. That way not drawn into such silly childish antics. I go back to ireland tomorrow anyway

All the best and no hard feelings to you or Gelico

Takes care and may see you soon but more likely the end of the month

x

sorry for being a wind up, i was in a silly mood and didn't stop to think how you are feeling


take care didge

You have nothing to apologise for and were not to know. I respect you more than most and its me being the problem here not you. You are right and I should not be here if not in the right frame of mind. On that you are right and you know i would normally laugh things off, but, I simple cannot at the moment and that is not your fault but mine. So again all is good so dont you dare feel bad, as you did nothing wrong silly billy,. I just was not able to take your humour today, which is my fault not yours. Happy to admit, I am not having fun at the moment which is not your fault but mine

So just take good care of yourself and see you in a bit gelico.x
Same to you vintage, take care and maybe I came across poorly in my views to you.

All the best

x

Fred Moletrousers wrote:I do hope that Didge can dig himself out of his black dog moods, as Churchill famously described them. Trying to make a light-hearted remark about one of his threads or posts attracts the sort of reaction that one might expect in response to a joke about the price of embalming fluid at a convention of undertakers.

For God's sake, old chap, stop taking yourself so bloody seriously. People in this and other forums have been lampooning both my passion for the correct use of English and my faith and belief in God for years, but throwing a megawobbly over every cutting remark would in all probability have (a) elevated my blood pressure to dangerous levels and (b) had absolutely no effect on them whatsoever.

Normally i would laugh, but sometimes its not that easy to do so Fred. I take your words and points of view well on board and why before you even made this sound advice i am taking myself out of the equation. By asking ben to basement me, for my own good.

I do really appreacite your sound advice and kind words.

Take care mate and see you in a few weeks

And when ben or Lord Foul, Eddie are online, pleae place me in the basement, so i am not tempted to debate here

Thanks

All the best everyone and see you in the future

phildidge wrote:

Fred Moletrousers wrote:I do hope that Didge can dig himself out of his black dog moods, as Churchill famously described them. Trying to make a light-hearted remark about one of his threads or posts attracts the sort of reaction that one might expect in response to a joke about the price of embalming fluid at a convention of undertakers.

For God's sake, old chap, stop taking yourself so bloody seriously. People in this and other forums have been lampooning both my passion for the correct use of English and my faith and belief in God for years, but throwing a megawobbly over every cutting remark would in all probability have (a) elevated my blood pressure to dangerous levels and (b) had absolutely no effect on them whatsoever.

Normally i would laugh, but sometimes its not that easy to do so Fred. I take your words and points of view well on board and why before you even made this sound advice i am taking myself out of the equation. By asking ben to basement me, for my own good.

I do really appreacite your sound advice and kind words.

Take care mate and see you in a few weeks

And when ben or Lord Foul, Eddie are online, pleae place me in the basement, so i am not tempted to debate here

Thanks

All the best everyone and see you in the future

That's probably not the best course of action, as having the ability to drop in here and let off steam or even simply to  exchange pleasantries from time to time is an important part of the healing process, particularly if your life is a little lonely as can happen to the best of us from time to time.

Don't forget that over the past few years I have lost my wife and my younger brother to cancer; have been diagnosed with a condition that could have snuffed out my life at any moment and have undergone terrifying major, open heart surgery...and throughout that time I have never dropped completely out of this and/or other places for the simple reason that they were somewhere to which I could escape from my own black dog days of depression.

There's no obligation on you to start a new thread every day or to try to respond to every point made by everyone else; if you simply like keeping up with what's going on (and there's often too much at the same time for geriatrics like me!) just enjoy doing so. If you're moved to make a contribution, do so.

But just don't get yourself worked up and angry every time someone says something critical or even sarcastic (mea culpa to the latter!).

Andy wrote:http://news.sky.com/story/ann-widdecombe-science-may-produce-an-answer-to-homosexuality-11733559

Not just ugly, but impossibly stupid, homophobic, racist, has become a right wing extremist and appears as mad as a bag of frogs.
I wonder whether she spread for Nigel?
It's clear to see why he recruited her.
I cannot understand why she is so anti gay, when no bloke in his right mind would want to impale her.

and labour have elected yet another anti semite who other labour mp's are demanding be suspended even before she turns up in the commons.
The #NewNAtionalSocialists really have a problem as hot on the heels of that the anti semite Rupa huk has also been called out for her anti semitism.

Wise words from Fred as per.

I bet many of us have leant on forums when real life has been painful, I know they helped me a lot when my young grandson had a really bad accident and then again when my mum was unwell for a long time, and when she died they were a sort of therapy for a while.

On the other hand, in times like this we can be much  more sensitive, and as we know sometimes forumers (me included) can be very insensitive, and as we cant see the person we are being insensitive towards, and we dont know their situation, I understand it can get hurtful.

So I hope you feel better soon Didge, and if you do post I swear I wont accuse you on plagiarizing my posts again.....not till you feel better anyway.

Vintage wrote:Unbelievable. So people are not allowed to have an opinion then, however out of date, everyone has to agree with you and your comrades. Provided she doesn't encourage violence or try to force her beliefs onto others, she's entitled to believe whatever she likes and express that opinion. She may be wrong but its her right to express her views, no one is forced to agree. If you disagree say so but without the need to be so unpleasant and personal.
How long before we have re education camps for those that just may not follow the current fashionable party line, is that what the left want to have everyone mentally enslaved to their particular idea of what life should be like?

ann widdecome, homophobe for her religious views. Muslim parents refusing to let they kids have gay lessons due to their religious views, labour core voters who can do no wrong. at least widdecomes views dont come with demands that gay people are killed as many islamic ones do.

+1

Fred Moletrousers wrote:

phildidge wrote:

Normally i would laugh, but sometimes its not that easy to do so Fred. I take your words and points of view well on board and why before you even made this sound advice i am taking myself out of the equation. By asking ben to basement me, for my own good.

I do really appreacite your sound advice and kind words.

Take care mate and see you in a few weeks

And when ben or Lord Foul, Eddie are online, pleae place me in the basement, so i am not tempted to debate here

Thanks

All the best everyone and see you in the future

That's probably not the best course of action, as having the ability to drop in here and let off steam or even simply to  exchange pleasantries from time to time is an important part of the healing process, particularly if your life is a little lonely as can happen to the best of us from time to time.

Don't forget that over the past few years I have lost my wife and my younger brother to cancer; have been diagnosed with a condition that could have snuffed out my life at any moment and have undergone terrifying major, open heart surgery...and throughout that time I have never dropped completely out of this and/or other places for the simple reason that they were somewhere to which I could escape from my own black dog days of depression.

There's no obligation on you to start a new thread every day or to try to respond to every point made by everyone else; if you simply like keeping up with what's going on (and there's often too much at the same time for geriatrics like me!) just enjoy doing so. If you're moved to make a contribution, do so.

But just don't get yourself worked up and angry every time someone says something critical or even sarcastic (mea culpa to the latter!).

All sound advice Fred, but the reality is I am not you and I hope you understand that? Again i could never comprehend what you have gone through with the lost of your wife and it saddens me to know you lost someone so beautiful that completed you as a person. Its not as if I have not dealt with this before in regards to death. I lost a sister at the when she was one, due to Netherton's Syndrome. To then have later a neice suffer the same and only live 19 months and then watch that coffin being carried down. To then hide those feelings just to care for your brother, sister in-law and their son. To be the strengh they need, closing off my own feelings. Is something i have done all my life. I am not looking for sympathy and never would want that. I have often been a mountain of strengh to many people, but this was simple not a good day for me. Too watch two men, you have looked up to as strong men, boxers, watch them basically lose who they are mentally. Is hard to watch. When i spent so much of my life, even more when young growing up with them.

I have often taken on the position of being there for people, helping them deal with their pain and suffering, but now this has really hit home to me and so i am sorry, how this has made me come across. I am sure there was also times for you mate, that was not easy and not trying even to make comparrisons to how you felt, because I could never understand the loss you felt to lose someone you loved so much. You also know, that I stood up for your brother when he was debating on the forum and I actually chatted with him, when the left of that forum hounded him. So I know where you are coming from, and hence why, I do need to take myself out of the equation. I think this is simplke years of built up emotions simple exploding out. Where I have often helped others, feel better, blocking out how it has made me feel. Its simple taking an effect now and I need to learn how to cope with that. As I have when helping others. That is why it is so hard, because it has always been me helping others be able to come to terms with loss and suffering. Now its like a rock has opened a waterfall and i am struggling to cope with that rush of emtoions that have been unleashed. From bottling things up for years.

Anyway, thanks for the advice Fred. You are actually one person I have looked up to. I respect your knowledge an intelligence, even when I have been a dick, so thank you. I have actually learnt many things from you. Sadly I am stubborn and always trying to better myself from this

Take care

Can't you people start another thread if there's going to be another pity party?

Syl wrote:Wise words from Fred as per.

I bet many of us have leant on forums when real life has been painful, I know they helped me a lot when my young grandson had a really bad accident and then again when my mum was unwell for a long time, and when she died they were a sort of therapy for a while.

On the other hand, in times like this we can be much  more sensitive, and as we know sometimes forumers (me included) can be very insensitive, and as we cant see the person we are being insensitive towards, and we dont know their situation, I understand it can get hurtful.

So I hope you feel better soon Didge, and if you do post I swear I wont accuse you on plagiarizing my posts again.....not till you feel better anyway.

They were wise words, but we are all different Syl

Thanks anyway

Just messaged Victor so hopefully he can shut me up by placing me in the basement..

Raggamuffin wrote:Can't you people start another thread if there's going to be another pity party?

Maybe the threads could be split.

phildidge wrote:

Fred Moletrousers wrote:

That's probably not the best course of action, as having the ability to drop in here and let off steam or even simply to  exchange pleasantries from time to time is an important part of the healing process, particularly if your life is a little lonely as can happen to the best of us from time to time.

Don't forget that over the past few years I have lost my wife and my younger brother to cancer; have been diagnosed with a condition that could have snuffed out my life at any moment and have undergone terrifying major, open heart surgery...and throughout that time I have never dropped completely out of this and/or other places for the simple reason that they were somewhere to which I could escape from my own black dog days of depression.

There's no obligation on you to start a new thread every day or to try to respond to every point made by everyone else; if you simply like keeping up with what's going on (and there's often too much at the same time for geriatrics like me!) just enjoy doing so. If you're moved to make a contribution, do so.

But just don't get yourself worked up and angry every time someone says something critical or even sarcastic (mea culpa to the latter!).

All sound advice Fred, but the reality is I am not you and I hope you understand that? Again i could never comprehend what you have gone through with the lost of your wife and it saddens me to know you lost someone so beautiful that completed you as a person. Its not as if I have not dealt with this before in regards to death. I lost a sister at the when she was one, due to Netherton's Syndrome. To then have later a neice suffer the same and only live 19 months and then watch that coffin being carried down. To then hide those feelings just to care for your brother, sister in-law and their son. To be the strengh they need, closing off my own feelings. Is something i have done all my life. I am not looking for sympathy and never would want that. I have often been a mountain of strengh to many people, but this was simple not a good day for me. Too watch two men, you have looked up to as strong men, boxers, watch them basically lose who they are mentally. Is hard to watch. When i spent so much of my life, even more when young growing up with them.

I have often taken on the position of being there for people, helping them deal with their pain and suffering, but now this has really hit home to me and so i am sorry, how this has made me come across. I am sure there was also times for you mate, that was not easy and not trying even to make comparrisons to how you felt, because I could never understand the loss you felt to lose someone you loved so much. You also know, that I stood up for your brother when he was debating on the forum and I actually chatted with him, when the left of that forum hounded him. So I know where you are coming from, and hence why, I do need to take myself out of the equation. I think this is simplke years of built up emotions simple exploding out. Where I have often helped others, feel better, blocking out how it has made me feel. Its simple taking an effect now and I need to learn how to cope with that. As I have when helping others. That is why it is so hard, because it has always been me helping others be able to come to terms with loss and suffering. Now its like a rock has opened a waterfall and i am struggling to cope with that rush of emtoions that have been unleashed. From bottling things up for years.

Anyway, thanks for the advice Fred. You are actually one person I have looked up to. I respect your knowledge an intelligence, even when I have been a dick, so thank you. I have actually learnt many things from you. Sadly I am stubborn and always trying to better myself from this

Take care

i know what you're sayiig didge, i've done the same

when my mum was dying of cancer i couldn't go to my husband for comfort cos he was really sick at the time too. i lost him 2 months later. the kids all got involved in shitty relationships and self harmed and all sorts and i felt like a hamster on a wheel going round and round just trying to keep everyone's head above the water. a year later i lost my favourite sister in law to cancer. i hid my feelings from others but not from myself

about a year after hubby died i was trying to get the christmas tree up and i broke it so it wouldnt stand up and i went totally beserk and kicked it all round the room and jumped up and down on it screaming blue murder and threw it out in the garden and then cried for about 3 hours.

it had fuck all to do with the christmas tree obviously it was just a trigger cos i needed an outlet to vent my own feelings.

there were many such instances of me losing the plot over trivialities so i get it

i did at least have the luxury of having a good old cry and going into self pity mode for about a year so i guess i dealt with things in my own way

despite running round helping everyone else, i realised i had to make time just for me also

it's important to do that. also maybe get a bit of therapy. it helped me enormously tbh. it helps you put things into perspective

i think that was a really honest and heartfelt post didge, thank you for sharing it and i wish you all the best x

Syl wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:Can't you people start another thread if there's going to be another pity party?

Maybe the threads could be split.

I hope so. I don't understand this need to put your private life all over forums, especially in a news thread.

gelico wrote:

phildidge wrote:


All sound advice Fred, but the reality is I am not you and I hope you understand that? Again i could never comprehend what you have gone through with the lost of your wife and it saddens me to know you lost someone so beautiful that completed you as a person. Its not as if I have not dealt with this before in regards to death. I lost a sister at the when she was one, due to Netherton's Syndrome. To then have later a neice suffer the same and only live 19 months and then watch that coffin being carried down. To then hide those feelings just to care for your brother, sister in-law and their son. To be the strengh they need, closing off my own feelings. Is something i have done all my life. I am not looking for sympathy and never would want that. I have often been a mountain of strengh to many people, but this was simple not a good day for me. Too watch two men, you have looked up to as strong men, boxers, watch them basically lose who they are mentally. Is hard to watch. When i spent so much of my life, even more when young growing up with them.

I have often taken on the position of being there for people, helping them deal with their pain and suffering, but now this has really hit home to me and so i am sorry, how this has made me come across. I am sure there was also times for you mate, that was not easy and not trying even to make comparrisons to how you felt, because I could never understand the loss you felt to lose someone you loved so much. You also know, that I stood up for your brother when he was debating on the forum and I actually chatted with him, when the left of that forum hounded him. So I know where you are coming from, and hence why, I do need to take myself out of the equation. I think this is simplke years of built up emotions simple exploding out. Where I have often helped others, feel better, blocking out how it has made me feel. Its simple taking an effect now and I need to learn how to cope with that. As I have when helping others. That is why it is so hard, because it has always been me helping others be able to come to terms with loss and suffering. Now its like a rock has opened a waterfall and i am struggling to cope with that rush of emtoions that have been unleashed. From bottling things up for years.

Anyway, thanks for the advice Fred. You are actually one person I have looked up to. I respect your knowledge an intelligence, even when I have been a dick, so thank you. I have actually learnt many things from you. Sadly I am stubborn and always trying to better myself from this

Take care

i know what you're sayiig didge, i've done the same

when my mum was dying of cancer i couldn't go to my husband for comfort cos he was really sick at the time too.  i lost him 2 months later.  the kids all got involved in shitty relationships and self harmed and all sorts and i felt like a hamster on a  wheel going round and round just trying to keep everyone's head above the water.  a year later i lost my favourite sister in law to cancer.  i hid my feelings from others but not from myself

about a year after hubby died i was trying to get the christmas tree up and i broke it so it wouldnt stand up and i went totally beserk and kicked it all round the room and jumped up and down on it screaming blue murder and threw it out in the garden and then cried for about 3 hours.

it had fuck all to do with the christmas tree obviously it was just a trigger cos i needed an outlet to vent my own feelings.

there were many such instances of me losing the plot over trivialities so i get it

i did at least have the luxury of having a good old cry and going into self pity mode for about a year so i guess i dealt with things in my own way

despite running round helping everyone else, i realised i had to make time just for me also

it's important to do that.  also maybe get a bit of therapy.  it helped me enormously tbh.  it helps you put things into perspective

i think that was a really honest and heartfelt post didge, thank you for sharing it and i wish you all the best x

You just actually made me cry .x

Thank you for understanding gelico

You know i love hearing the stories of the happiness you had with your husband, but the above brings home what else you also went through. Trying to be there for everyone and how emotions can build up within us all. I always appreaciate you sharing your stories gelico and I can never begin to imagine the loss you have felt. It actually makes me more sad to think that reading the above. So I am going to shut up now and leave and see you in the future on here. Thank you for being very understanding and caring gelico, i reallay appreciate that

x

Raggamuffin wrote:

Syl wrote:

Maybe the threads could be split.

I hope so. I don't understand this need to put your private life all over forums, especially in a news thread.

Well people are different, I understand it. I doubt it was a deliberate attempt to take the thread off course, sometimes people just come out with things then and there when they have pent them up for ages....and a forum is no different to real life in that respect.
If the threads are split maybe the more personal posts can be given more respect.

gelico wrote:

phildidge wrote:


All sound advice Fred, but the reality is I am not you and I hope you understand that? Again i could never comprehend what you have gone through with the lost of your wife and it saddens me to know you lost someone so beautiful that completed you as a person. Its not as if I have not dealt with this before in regards to death. I lost a sister at the when she was one, due to Netherton's Syndrome. To then have later a neice suffer the same and only live 19 months and then watch that coffin being carried down. To then hide those feelings just to care for your brother, sister in-law and their son. To be the strengh they need, closing off my own feelings. Is something i have done all my life. I am not looking for sympathy and never would want that. I have often been a mountain of strengh to many people, but this was simple not a good day for me. Too watch two men, you have looked up to as strong men, boxers, watch them basically lose who they are mentally. Is hard to watch. When i spent so much of my life, even more when young growing up with them.

I have often taken on the position of being there for people, helping them deal with their pain and suffering, but now this has really hit home to me and so i am sorry, how this has made me come across. I am sure there was also times for you mate, that was not easy and not trying even to make comparrisons to how you felt, because I could never understand the loss you felt to lose someone you loved so much. You also know, that I stood up for your brother when he was debating on the forum and I actually chatted with him, when the left of that forum hounded him. So I know where you are coming from, and hence why, I do need to take myself out of the equation. I think this is simplke years of built up emotions simple exploding out. Where I have often helped others, feel better, blocking out how it has made me feel. Its simple taking an effect now and I need to learn how to cope with that. As I have when helping others. That is why it is so hard, because it has always been me helping others be able to come to terms with loss and suffering. Now its like a rock has opened a waterfall and i am struggling to cope with that rush of emtoions that have been unleashed. From bottling things up for years.

Anyway, thanks for the advice Fred. You are actually one person I have looked up to. I respect your knowledge an intelligence, even when I have been a dick, so thank you. I have actually learnt many things from you. Sadly I am stubborn and always trying to better myself from this

Take care

i know what you're sayiig didge, i've done the same

when my mum was dying of cancer i couldn't go to my husband for comfort cos he was really sick at the time too.  i lost him 2 months later.  the kids all got involved in shitty relationships and self harmed and all sorts and i felt like a hamster on a  wheel going round and round just trying to keep everyone's head above the water.  a year later i lost my favourite sister in law to cancer.  i hid my feelings from others but not from myself

about a year after hubby died i was trying to get the christmas tree up and i broke it so it wouldnt stand up and i went totally beserk and kicked it all round the room and jumped up and down on it screaming blue murder and threw it out in the garden and then cried for about 3 hours.

it had fuck all to do with the christmas tree obviously it was just a trigger cos i needed an outlet to vent my own feelings.

there were many such instances of me losing the plot over trivialities so i get it

i did at least have the luxury of having a good old cry and going into self pity mode for about a year so i guess i dealt with things in my own way

despite running round helping everyone else, i realised i had to make time just for me also

it's important to do that.  also maybe get a bit of therapy.  it helped me enormously tbh.  it helps you put things into perspective

i think that was a really honest and heartfelt post didge, thank you for sharing it and i wish you all the best x

I have tears in my eyes reading that...you write from the heart and it shows, you are so...………....human.

Syl wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

I hope so. I don't understand this need to put your private life all over forums, especially in a news thread.

Well people are different, I understand it. I doubt it was a deliberate attempt to take the thread off course, sometimes people just come out with things then and there when they have pent them up for ages....and a forum is no different to real life in that respect.
If the threads are split maybe the more personal posts can be given more respect.

Of course it was deliberate, like it is every time it happens.

Still, if you people can't see that, this thread might as well be wrapped up. I've said what I think anyway.

I'll leave you to the usual pity party.

phildidge wrote:

gelico wrote:


i know what you're sayiig didge, i've done the same

when my mum was dying of cancer i couldn't go to my husband for comfort cos he was really sick at the time too.  i lost him 2 months later.  the kids all got involved in shitty relationships and self harmed and all sorts and i felt like a hamster on a  wheel going round and round just trying to keep everyone's head above the water.  a year later i lost my favourite sister in law to cancer.  i hid my feelings from others but not from myself

about a year after hubby died i was trying to get the christmas tree up and i broke it so it wouldnt stand up and i went totally beserk and kicked it all round the room and jumped up and down on it screaming blue murder and threw it out in the garden and then cried for about 3 hours.

it had fuck all to do with the christmas tree obviously it was just a trigger cos i needed an outlet to vent my own feelings.

there were many such instances of me losing the plot over trivialities so i get it

i did at least have the luxury of having a good old cry and going into self pity mode for about a year so i guess i dealt with things in my own way

despite running round helping everyone else, i realised i had to make time just for me also

it's important to do that.  also maybe get a bit of therapy.  it helped me enormously tbh.  it helps you put things into perspective

i think that was a really honest and heartfelt post didge, thank you for sharing it and i wish you all the best x

You just actually made me cry .x

Thank you for understanding gelico

You know i love hearing the stories of the happiness you had with your husband, but the above brings home what else you also went through. Trying to be there for everyone and how emotions can build up within us all. I always appreaciate you sharing your stories gelico and I can never begin to imagine the loss you have felt. It actually makes me more sad to think that reading the above. So I am going to shut up now and leave and see you in the future on here. Thank you for being very understanding and caring gelico, i reallay appreciate that

x

this is something that really helped me,

i started to make a list of all the things i was grateful for

so many mundane things

the fact that i had a roof over my head
i had warmth
i had food
i could have a cup of tea when i wanted one
i had the use of my limbs
I can read and enjoy books
i have colour vision and can appreciate the full beauty of nature in all it's glory
i can walk for ages on a really windy day and fully enjoy it
i have my dad in relatively good health
i have two amazing brothers who always help me
i have great in-laws and get on well with them all
i have good friends i can talk to and rely on
i have three awesome kids who love me

and the list just goes on and on and on and i'm always adding to it,,,it's a bit like staring up at the stars,,,,the more you look the more you see

genuine gratitude is the most awesome, powerful, empowering feeling in the world and it honestly works wonders for your mental health

it may sound a bit pollyanna but it's worth giving it a try

it works for me

Syl wrote:

gelico wrote:


i know what you're sayiig didge, i've done the same

when my mum was dying of cancer i couldn't go to my husband for comfort cos he was really sick at the time too.  i lost him 2 months later.  the kids all got involved in shitty relationships and self harmed and all sorts and i felt like a hamster on a  wheel going round and round just trying to keep everyone's head above the water.  a year later i lost my favourite sister in law to cancer.  i hid my feelings from others but not from myself

about a year after hubby died i was trying to get the christmas tree up and i broke it so it wouldnt stand up and i went totally beserk and kicked it all round the room and jumped up and down on it screaming blue murder and threw it out in the garden and then cried for about 3 hours.

it had fuck all to do with the christmas tree obviously it was just a trigger cos i needed an outlet to vent my own feelings.

there were many such instances of me losing the plot over trivialities so i get it

i did at least have the luxury of having a good old cry and going into self pity mode for about a year so i guess i dealt with things in my own way

despite running round helping everyone else, i realised i had to make time just for me also

it's important to do that.  also maybe get a bit of therapy.  it helped me enormously tbh.  it helps you put things into perspective

i think that was a really honest and heartfelt post didge, thank you for sharing it and i wish you all the best x

I have tears in my eyes reading that...you write from the heart and it shows, you are so...………....human.

thank you syl xx

Syl wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:Can't you people start another thread if there's going to be another pity party?

Maybe the threads could be split.

that sounds dangerously like someone might have to do some work