Majority of UK adults wasting £3,000 a year

The majority of adults in the UK waste a staggering £3,000 a year according to a new study which reveals attitudes towards saving.

Some 38 million UK adults – amounting to over three quarters - admit to spending £52 a week on products and services that in hindsight could have been saved or better spent. Over the course of a year, this totals £2,704.
However, participants said they could reduce their spending on average by £92 a month without significantly impacting their lifestyle.
The research by Standard Life showed that many people prefer short term gratification over larger long term gains, as over a third UK adults said they would rather have £100 now than £1,000 in five years’ time, with 45 per cent saying the wait was too long.
When gender was considered, 39 per cent of women said they wanted the instant payout, versus 32 per cent of men.
In addition, just over half found it hard to resist spending all of the money they earn each month – rising to 69 per cent for those aged under 35.
And as many as 14 per cent admitted to making an impulse purchase of over £50 in the past month which they regretted, with 54 per cent revealing the feeling kicked in within a day of spending the money.
However, just 51 per cent of UK adults save money each month while a fifth say they never save at all.
But out of those who did save, over half it makes them feel ‘reassured’ while 46% feel it is ‘rewarding’.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/majority-of-uk-adults-wasting-3000-a-year-10089615.html

We waste money in our household. It's disgusting tbh.
The amount of stuff we've bought that sits there and never gets used.....I think one tends to do it more when you've got children.

eddie wrote:We waste money in our household. It's disgusting tbh.
The amount of stuff we've bought that sits there and never gets used.....I think one tends to do it more when you've got children.

I think this is a prime example Eddie for many people when their brains switch off from common sense when out and about how impulse takes over where we all end up buying things we really do not need.
Sorry but I have to say my bug bear here which really gets my goat, is how many pairs of shoes does a woman need lol?
Though I have to say men can be worse with impulse buying where at least women will browse in the main. So men can be far worse.

Oh it's terrible. I dread to think how much I could have saved if I hadn't bought all those shoes and clothes which I don't even need.

gadgets are what do me.........

especially electroniky ones....

like arduino's and its various "shields", though to be fair most of end up being used to build even more complicated gadgets

Oh how absolutely awful, people spend their money and give VAT to the government and keep other people in jobs. What a sanctimonious article.

Brasidas wrote:

eddie wrote:We waste money in our household. It's disgusting tbh.
The amount of stuff we've bought that sits there and never gets used.....I think one tends to do it more when you've got children.

I think this is a prime example Eddie for many people when their brains switch off from common sense when out and about how impulse takes over where we all end up buying things we really do not need.
Sorry but I have to say my bug bear here which really gets my goat, is how many pairs of shoes does a woman need lol?
Though I have to say men can be worse with impulse buying where at least women will browse in the main. So men can be far worse.

Hang on a minute mister! Are you saying I don't need twenty-two pairs of shoes and a handbag to match each of them???

Just as well they did as our economy would have went bust by an even bigger margin.

Money makes the world go round - as they say.

Mind you of course tis is a R/W propaganda piece to be sure...
after all

the drones

should NOT be allowed to have "hobbies"

or "interests"

or time to persue such...just like that chap walking to work...

better he does THAT than has anything to occupy his mind

the DRONE should
work
eat in the least possible time
work
sleep , the minimum time consistant with
work

and then work some more...


ONLY the rich should have "leisure" time

eddie wrote:

Brasidas wrote:

I think this is a prime example Eddie for many people when their brains switch off from common sense when out and about how impulse takes over where we all end up buying things we really do not need.
Sorry but I have to say my bug bear here which really gets my goat, is how many pairs of shoes does a woman need lol?
Though I have to say men can be worse with impulse buying where at least women will browse in the main. So men can be far worse.

Hang on a minute mister! Are you saying I don't need twenty-two pairs of shoes and a handbag to match each of them???

HI Eddie

Hee Hee, gave you a thanks for that answer Eddie as was brilliant and actually shows why women do in the main take more due care over how they look sensible by matching types and colours. However why need of so many, where some ladies I know, havew over a hundred, where they have worn the majority of them only oncce and even some pairs never to just gather dust in a cupboard. Shows to me the reasoning has more to do with a feel good factor of buying a new pair of shoes (which women get excitable over as much as men do with football), than out of any pratical need. Basically buying up shoes and mayching handbags is a hobby providing a feel good factor on any new addition to the collection.

 



Actually I bet and guess you have worn all yours pairs of shoes Eddie more than once as you are a tad more practical to use them?
22 is a lot but no where as extreme as some I know who wear them just once and then they never see the light of day again.

darknessss wrote:Mind you of course tis is a R/W propaganda piece to be sure...
after all

the drones

should NOT be allowed to have "hobbies"

or "interests"

or time to persue such...just like that chap walking to work...

better he does THAT than has anything to occupy his mind

the DRONE should
work
eat in the least possible time
work
sleep , the minimum time consistant with
work

and then work some more...


ONLY the rich should have "leisure" time

Eh?
Spending beyond your means is noa practical concept, as you tend to end up with more debt. So if money is tight and you do not need something, then to buy this item places further strain onto your money Victor. The reality is there is no excuse for those people who do placing themselves into finnancial diificulties by things they do not need to buy or worse wait and save up to buy. So nobody is stopping anyone have hobbies, like everyone else you save up, if money is tight and what until y your money and wait untill you can afford to indulge your hobby.
In other words learn to have some patients.

whilst what you say is true Bras...the fact is that that was NOT the "tone " of the article...

moreoever... you have ONE life...live it....

darknessss wrote:whilst what you say is true Bras...the fact is that that was NOT the "tone " of the article...

It is right leaning the paper so its view will be leaning to that fashion with a view of blame.
I am not denying that Victor
The point is though and I have said before that more people need help with finnacial management.

Brasidas wrote:

darknessss wrote:whilst what you say is true Bras...the fact is that that was NOT the "tone " of the article...

It is right leaning the paper so its view will be leaning to that fashion with a view of blame.
I am not denying that Victor
The point is though and I have said before that more people need help with finnacial management.

tis true...perhaps that could be taught in schools from an early age....rather than the crap that is...like religious studies...and politics and........

darknessss wrote:

Brasidas wrote:

It is right leaning the paper so its view will be leaning to that fashion with a view of blame.
I am not denying that Victor
The point is though and I have said before that more people need help with finnacial management.

tis true...perhaps that could be taught in schools from an early age....rather than the crap that is...like religious studies...and politics and........

Agree 100% it should be taught in schools mate, as it clearly is a skill many children can learn to help them in life.

I was looking at this on eBay this morning, wondering whether I should buy it:



I played it for about seven years back in school before giving it up

Buy it. Making music is never a waste of money.

risingsun wrote:Buy it.  Making music is never a waste of money.

That's exactly what I thought!

I think I'm going to find a group to aspire to play with before I make the purchase, though. Some little hobby band; sounds like a lot of fun

Sounds brilliant, if ever you are down the best medicine is making music.

risingsun wrote:Sounds brilliant, if ever you are down the best medicine is making music.

That is dependent on what you are listening to.
Some music may ctually make you feel worse..
The best cure for being down is understanding why you are down, which means being honest with yourself. So you can learn to rectify this and learn from this, place closure on why you are down and then you will be able to move forward..
Music would not really cure the down mood, but just be a temporary respite.

I didn't say 'listening to music' I said MAKING MUSIC. You are such a pompous arse.

risingsun wrote:I didn't say 'listening to music' I said MAKING MUSIC.   You are such a pompous arse.  

Still not a good cure, the same principles apply.
Unless you are a composser to make music you have to play music and then playing Music can be frustrating, which it will be for Ben at first as he will be very rusty not playing for so long. So for making Music you have another factor that can add to the probloem where you get frustrated not being able to make the Music correct and beautiful.To be very good at playing musical instruments takes dedication and constant practice.


Hi Ben

Glad you are thinking of getting back into this, did you play any other instruments?

FGS, what the hell is the matter with you? Talk to yourself, I can't be bothered with sanctimonious pricks tonight. Making music can also be singing, which is known for lifting your spirits.

"Music-making is linked to a number of health benefits for older adults," said Suzanne Hanser, chair of the music therapy department at the Berklee College of Music in Boston. "Research shows that making music can lower blood pressure, decrease heart rate, reduce stress, and lessen anxiety and depression. There is also increasing evidence that making music enhances the immunological response, which enables us to fight viruses," Hanser said.

Hanser said that anyone, regardless of age or ability, can make music and benefit from it.

http://www.livescience.com/40597-playing-musical-instrument-good-health.html

risingsun wrote:FGS, what the hell is the matter with you?  Talk to yourself, I can't be bothered with sanctimonious pricks tonight.  Making music can also be singing, which is known for lifting your spirits.  

Because you come out with a claim to something being the best medicine for when you are down, which was a poor claim to make, when the best way is again first of all; understanding why you are down so you can then be able to resolve that.
Not only that it is conjecture if it is the best medicine when as seen playing instruments can be very frustrating if you are not getting it right.
I did obtain grade 8 on the violen and Viola as well as 7 on the piano, so I do know what I am talking abouy here.
Youy then post again an article that eludes where it may produce an affect neglecting that the sxtress and aniexty levels maybe worsened by frustrations.
Again at times making Music can help, it is not the est medicine by any means.

I generally find music cheers me up - not that I'm down that much anyway.



Wey hey

So who didn't feel better after watching that?

Truth now....

Irn Bru wrote:So who didn't feel better after watching that?

Truth now....

Music can both cheer and depress people dependant on what is being played and what connection a peice of music may have to the reason you are down, which can then further worsen why you are down. If it makes you happy as it does for many people it is mainly a temporary respite for most people as the music has uplifted you but not dealt with the problem as to why you are down in the first place, whjere then that problem is likely to return bringing you down again, until it is resolved.
Hence why it is not the best medicine, at best it is a tempoary relief. If it was the best medicine we would have have no more suicides, when clearly we have plenty. So is making Music really the best medicine when you are down?
I do not think so.

Brasidas wrote:

Irn Bru wrote:So who didn't feel better after watching that?

Truth now....

Music can both cheer and depress people dependant on what is being played and what connection a peice of music may have to the reason you are down, which can then further worsen why you are down. If it makes you happy as it does for many people it is mainly a temporary respite for most people as the music has uplifted you but not dealt with the problem as to why you are down in the first place, whjere then that problem is likely to return bringing you down again, until it is resolved.
Hence why it is not the best medicine, at best it is a tempoary relief. If it was the best medicine we would have have no more suicides, when clearly we have plenty. So is making Music really the best medicine when you are down?
I do not think so.

No, people get down for all sorts of reasons. It happens to us all for one reason or another at times and usually it passes because it's not a permanent feature most of the time - just a blip really and I think the discussion had developed along the lines of people in that category.

If you are talking about people who suffer from something like manic depression then you may well have a point in that they need professional help to deal with it as it is as you say only a temporary respite.

Irn Bru wrote:

Brasidas wrote:

Music can both cheer and depress people dependant on what is being played and what connection a peice of music may have to the reason you are down, which can then further worsen why you are down. If it makes you happy as it does for many people it is mainly a temporary respite for most people as the music has uplifted you but not dealt with the problem as to why you are down in the first place, whjere then that problem is likely to return bringing you down again, until it is resolved.
Hence why it is not the best medicine, at best it is a tempoary relief. If it was the best medicine we would have have no more suicides, when clearly we have plenty. So is making Music really the best medicine when you are down?
I do not think so.

No, people get down for all sorts of reasons. It happens to us all for one reason or another at times and usually it passes because it's not a permanent feature most of the time - just a blip really and I think the discussion had developed along the lines of people in that category.

If you are talking about people who suffer from something like manic depression then you may well have a point in that they need professional help to deal with it as it is as you say only a temporary respite.

The above is clear evidence you do noty understand problem solving or how again the playing thus making music can and is frustrating to play where you need lots of patience. As it takes practice to get this right in many cases and longer practice for harder compositions.
The fact that you believe it cures why you are down shows how that is just attempting to supress that feeling with a feel good factor, where again it may brighten your mood and even make you temporailly distract the problem.
For example, you are down about money, relationship problems etc.
Has it resolved any of these problems that have caused you to be down by playing Music?

No, it has just lifted your spirits if of course you are faultless musician, have already perfected it and do not get frustrated learning how to play the composition.
Listening to Music does not have the frustration that playing does. Playing though when right is more fulfilling, but again will only temporailly cheer you up as you have still not resolved the problem that made you down. It is a distratcion from the problem. Again for example you fav team has lost, you get uplifted by listening to some great tunes, buit it does not remove the bitter taste of losing that day, that will linger for a couple of days to most true supporters.

Right night Irn

bring back mandatory home economics and shop.....damn sight more useful than some subjects and it should be every year.

no I cant sew a button on to save my life but I can cook, I can change a tire, I can use a drill etc....and I learned how to balance a checkbook and bank account.

^ben go for it. mum is seriously regretting not bringing over her sax when she moved but did take up the ukulele

^sassy and Irn I agree - music can be so uplifting. nothing like belting out a tune in the shower or car or hoovering to some ac\dc to make me feel good.

^ eds - I'm now calling you Imelda :8

Brasidas wrote:

risingsun wrote:I didn't say 'listening to music' I said MAKING MUSIC.   You are such a pompous arse.  

Still not a good cure, the same principles apply.
Unless you are a composser to make music you have to play music and then playing Music can be frustrating, which it will be for Ben at first as he will be very rusty not playing for so long. So for making Music you have another factor that can add to the probloem where you get frustrated not being able to make the Music correct and beautiful.To be very good at playing musical instruments takes dedication and constant practice.


Hi Ben

Glad you are thinking of getting back into this, did you play any other instruments?

Hey man, I realize the topic has moved on from this, but yeah -- picked up guitar in my teens, and I've fooled around on most stringed and brass instruments since. I would consider myself almost-competent on bass guitar, euphonium and tuba -- but only because their parts are generally very easy

Also sang a bit while playing some fairly complicated rhythm guitar parts in my 20s. Not saying I was great, but I was not the average idiot with a guitar, either.

And I'd just add, making anything makes you feel better. Do something that could do something for someone else -- I'm sure Dark knows what I'm talking about. I bet he'd do a fair amount of his wood-working stuff just to please people with the quality of it and know he's left a little bit of himself to someone else

Ben_Reilly wrote:And I'd just add, making anything makes you feel better. Do something that could do something for someone else -- I'm sure Dark knows what I'm talking about. I bet he'd do a fair amount of his wood-working stuff just to please people with the quality of it and know he's left a little bit of himself to someone else

Agreed that any creativity can be a poistive as well as again where it can be frustrating.
The poiint is many things can be uplifting, but they only temporary uplift or brighten your mood and like I said if for example you dislike some music listening or playing this is not going to make you feel better. Some tunes may even make you feel far worse due to the connection and memmory that song may have, because again you have never learn to get over or put closure on a problem.
My poiint is if people think anything like this can resolve a problem then they are very much mistaken, as all it does is bury that problem inside your head and not soilve the issue, hence why it is so important to learn to understand what is wrong so you can go about resolving the issue.
I mean I love music, it can be a fabulous feel good factor, but it really does not soilve a problem you have.
If anyone came on here and described a problem they have, asking for advise, would anyone here really suggest listening or playing music as the answer to solving their problem?


Interesting on everything you can play Ben

Does it not occur to you Didge that there are some problems you cannot solve?

risingsun wrote:Does it not occur to you Didge that there are some problems you cannot solve?

The self defeatist answer.
Many will strive to solve problems and rightly so especially emotive problems which can be solved, it is people themseves that stop this from happenning. Just because something has not been solved yet does not mean that it will not be in the future, hence your view is very self defeating and would advise anyone not to take your advise as that is damaging beyond belief mentally to make anyone think that.
That is the poorest answer you could come out with in defense of your claim to the best medicine.

Right, so you can bring my daughter back, or cure me of the incurable CLL, which although I am so much better had me shaking from head to foot and dropping stuff yesterday because I'd gone swimming the day before and my exhaustion levels kicked in. And what got me through yesterday and stopped me feeling depressed about something I can do nothing about, was putting on music and singing at the top of my lungs.

risingsun wrote:Right, so you can bring my daughter back, or cure me of the incurable CLL, which although I am so much better had me shaking from head to foot and dropping stuff yesterday because I'd gone swimming the day before and my exhaustion levels kicked in.

Again what an absurd emotive argument to make.
Everyone loses people close to them in life and that is pathetic to try and use the victim card, where again many people can put closure on this affecting them and actually look back in fond memmory of those they have lost.
The fact is advances in science in the future may have solved this problem, showing again you use emotive reasoning to be self defeating.
There may even be a cure in the future for CCL.
Thank goodness you are not around to advise suicidal people with that poor mentality, to basically advise them their problems are not solveable.
You are certainly not going to be able to solve any problem if you have a negative self defeating attitude from the start.

Fuck you, you are truly disgusting.

risingsun wrote:Fuck you, you are truly disgusting.

For being correct and honest?
Seriously if throughout the centuries many of those who have found cures had taken your poor self defating attitude countless people would have not been saved. With your view we might as well stop funding to reasearch a cure for cancer.
I am glad many people do not listen to such a self defeating view point.

I'm going to explain one thing to you Didge, and then I am putting you on ignore, for ever, no way back.  I was not pulling any victim card, I was trying to explain to you, from life experience that you have not had, that living with an incurable disease every single day, and losing a child, are not things that you can put to one side, that ludicrous phrase 'have closure on'.  CLL is the only cancer they don't have a cure for, only things that can set it back.  Hopefully, that will happen, but the likelehood of it happening in the next 10 years, which are probably the only years that are going to matter to me, is, I have on the best authority from the specialists in CLL, very unlikely.   And if you lose a child, you wake up to that fact every morning for the rest of your life, and there is no 'closure' to it.  In fact, why would you want 'closure', why would you want to forget.  The pain is there because of the love, and to deny it is to deny the love.  I can remember the wonderful things about her, the good times, the joy, but that doesn't give you 'closure' or stop the pain.

So, final word, I think you are beneath contempt with so many of your views  and I will never, under any circumstances, reply to you again.

risingsun wrote:I'm going to explain one thing to you Didge, and then I am putting you on ignore, for ever, no way back.  I was not pulling any victim card, I was trying to explain to you, from life experience that you have not had, that living with an incurable disease every single day, and losing a child, are not things that you can put to one side, that ludicrous phrase 'have closure on'.  CLL is the only cancer they don't have a cure for, only things that can set it back.  Hopefully, that will happen, but the likelehood of it happening in the next 10 years, which are probably the only years that are going to matter to me, is, I have on the best authority from the specialists in CLL, very unlikely.   And if you lose a child, you wake up to that fact every morning for the rest of your life, and there is no 'closure' to it.  In fact, why would you want 'closure', why would you want to forget.  The pain is there because of the love, and to deny it is to deny the love.  I can remember the wonderful things about her, the good times, the joy, but that doesn't give you 'closure' or stop the pain.

So, final word, I think you are beneath contempt with so many of your views  and I will never, under any circumstances, reply to you again.

ER I think you will find I have lived with asthma all my life which as of yet has not been cured, though I have every faith one day soon they will
You clearly are unable to read in context either.

Everyone loses people close to them in life and that is pathetic to try and use the victim card, where again many people can put closure on this affecting them and actually look back in fond memmory of those they have lost.

Basically to place closure on the grieving and to move on as death is inevatble for all of us,. though not impossible one day someone may even make us immortal. Sassy we all feel when we lose someone, I mean I have lost a baby sister, a baby neice, my father, my brother, etc, so I know very well how it feels to lose someone very close to you. Though with me I look at the positives within this even with the two girls who died so young their smilling faces are etched in my memory. I except death and while it is anger beyond belief to lose people so young, there is no point remaining angry  and upset, because they are now gone. You support everyone around you, knowing you have this life to enjoy, excepting death is a natural course of life,. Many doctors have claimed things cannot be incurrable, again thankfully others are not defeatest and continue to find cures hence why nothing is really impossible, as we do not know what the future holds. You were puling the victim card, because you brought in the debate a very personal issue, the loss of your daughter to compare life problems. The point is Stassi you are incapable of admitting you may be wrong or mistaken on the original point and playing the victim card was you attempting to gain sympathy in this debate by others then joining the deabte. When it was a deabte around being down which is gernally due to many problems. You could have agreed with me on my points have relevance, where I also stated music does but also added it can be the opposite and make things worse, which is important to recognise when helping someone. Instead you turned it into another give sassy attention thread.
The fact I constantly have and continue to help countless people through their lives is testemony to the fact when it comes to helping people recognise and resolve their issue's I give my time and suport to them and have helped them all out. I have helped people come out of depression, rel;ationship problems, sexual abuse, rape, you name it I have helped people and why I challenged your views here because you promote a negative view where as I it is positive one that gives meaning and purpose back into their lives.
There are posters here that have come to me in private for advice and why do they do that Sassy? Because I listen to their problems, am huonest with them and offer possible routes they could try, provide possible explanations of what has gone wrong, help them look at themselves within this. They are drawn to my positivity over all my faults. So helping people is something I am very passionate about as to me helping people to find themselves again with happiness.
So I will debaate points on this which you created yourself being annoyed not me.

So place me on ignore, you have done that a hundred times before, which is no getting tedious. Accept the fact I am a more postive person than yourself and have no ill will against you, I put aside any differences when people come to me with problems, which if you came to me with a problem, I would help you just the same, as I would anyone.

The worst thing about all of this is one again you turn this into a drama, when it never needed to be.

risingsun wrote:I'm going to explain one thing to you Didge, and then I am putting you on ignore, for ever, no way back.  I was not pulling any victim card, I was trying to explain to you, from life experience that you have not had, that living with an incurable disease every single day, and losing a child, are not things that you can put to one side, that ludicrous phrase 'have closure on'.  CLL is the only cancer they don't have a cure for, only things that can set it back.  Hopefully, that will happen, but the likelehood of it happening in the next 10 years, which are probably the only years that are going to matter to me, is, I have on the best authority from the specialists in CLL, very unlikely.   And if you lose a child, you wake up to that fact every morning for the rest of your life, and there is no 'closure' to it.  In fact, why would you want 'closure', why would you want to forget.  The pain is there because of the love, and to deny it is to deny the love.  I can remember the wonderful things about her, the good times, the joy, but that doesn't give you 'closure' or stop the pain.

So, final word, I think you are beneath contempt with so many of your views  and I will never, under any circumstances, reply to you again.

lots and lots of love and hugs from afar. Each day you open your eyes, it hits you and leaves you breathless. but you get up and you put one foot in front of the other and you begin again. xxxx

Well guess I was bang on the money again and point proven in regards to craving attention and sympathy.

Okay here goes.

Didge I understood where you were coming from (for some reason I always do!) but you did come across slightly "heartless" in your reply to sassy.

Perhaps the best response would've been to not reply if you felt the answer wouldn't go down well, or just to have said "I'm sorry to hear you feel that way but perhaps..."

I'm sorry for your losses didge, all of them truly, and I'm not making less of yours, but I think to lose a child is truly the worst loss of all, and whilst I know you know that, your answer did come across a tad "harsh" and I know you're not really like that.

And yea didge, I do wear all my shoes "officially" but there are some ive hidden as my OH would moan like a bitch if he knew I'd only worn them once......

eddie wrote:Okay here goes.

Didge I understood where you were coming from (for some reason I always do!) but you did come across slightly "heartless" in your reply to sassy.

Perhaps the best response would've been to not reply if you felt the answer wouldn't go down well, or just to have said "I'm sorry to hear you feel that way but perhaps..."

I'm sorry for your losses didge, all of them truly, and I'm not making less of yours, but I think to lose a child is truly the worst loss of all, and whilst I know you know that, your answer did come across a tad "harsh" and I know you're not really like that.

And yea didge, I do wear all my shoes "officially" but there are some ive hidden as my OH would moan like a bitch if he knew I'd only worn them once......

Right Eddie, this is why people are naive at times.
In fact it was Sassy that made the heartless comment to me basically saying I did not understand what it was like to lose someone close to me based off the fact she had lost her own child and that this connection brings about an absurd view point to the point only then mothers are affected when someone dies. She brought this into the debate for the simple fact because she could not admit her original point had no bearing and then she does the time honered trick of looking for attention and sympathy. Guess what as seen it worked. To claim I do not know what its like to lose a daughter is no differnt from a she not understanding what a son feels like when he loses his father or to a father to his daughter where each and every example will have slight differences based only on you are not being that individual. The devsatation and loss we feel is b ased on how close and how much we loved someone, why it can devastate for years where you have lost your best friend. What is different between people is how they cope with this loss. There is not a day goes by I do not think about my brother, father or sister, but I look back at them with fond memmory because that is one aspect of coping with loss. The fact that goes over everyones head here is that the loss of my father and brother in close proximity sent me into a spiral of depression, when I turned to alcohol as a means to block out this devastating loss. I as seen had lost people close to me before but losing two close family members was just too much. I created by greif further problems due to my drinking, of which I learnt in the end to come to terms with this loss, as I was basically destroying my own life through grief. I refused to turn to anyone for help. It was selfish of me and yet based off this experince all I did was rightly say and advise how to deal with such situations because of how it did affect me.


Again she brought in the personal factor looking for attention and sympathy because she was loosing the deabte. That is sassy for you and the point is becausze both you and Cass are female, being female you can relate to her loss only as a woman can, but neither of you noticed her poor comment and know I am a strong character and being again as you are not male did not think for one second how much it can also affect males. I see past her games Eddie as this was all about her trying to- turn a debate around in her favour, as nobody brought into this personal issue's accept Sassy herself. I understand why you both arfe drawn that way and happy that you are but it shows how something can be played upon to gain attention and sympathy. I see your pointy about how I could of replied back to her, but that is your opinion Eddie and to me they would have been dishonest replies based on the fact I know Sassy brought this into the equation looking for sympathy and attention.

Okay. Well we shall leave it there then as I think grief is a very personal thing to each person x

eddie wrote:Okay. Well we shall leave it there then as I think grief is a very personal thing to each person x

Indeed it is Eddie, but I am not the one that brought this into the equation, Sassy did and I responded and now have had to explain to you, when I should not even have to.