The C word.

Jules wrote:

eddie wrote:

A special word needs to be invented to use to react to pics like that. ''yuk'' and ''bleurghh'' don't quite cut it, a stronger word is needed.  

Btw is there a vomit smiley? There are many contexts where one would be very apt.

veya_victaous wrote:I love Christmas
I was thinking of buying a tree even though no one will see it but me. (I'll go up to Sydney to my parents house for Xmas)

Mind you if I was served Christmas Tinner maybe not.   that's just wrong

the problem with turducken is it is impossible to cook properly, it will always be dry... or a salmonella risk.  
better off just cooking all 3 separately and serving 3 birds.

Syl wrote:Can we have a snobby smiley please? The one with the nose in the air.
I often feel like using that one when I am in superior mode.

veya_victaous wrote:
I added one that I liked when I googled Snob Smiley
the last one in  'classic smilies'

eddie wrote:
And what if you served that can-dinner upside down by mistake? You'd be eating your pudding first and that's just not classy.

eddie wrote:And what if you served that can-dinner upside down by mistake? You'd be eating your pudding first and that's just not classy.

Angry Andy wrote:Does anyone remember Duocans? Popular in the 1960's / early 1970's.Then went out of fashion.



https://www.doyouremember.co.uk/memory/harveys-duo-cans

They were disgusting.

Angry Andy wrote:Does anyone remember Duocans? Popular in the 1960's / early 1970's.Then went out of fashion.



https://www.doyouremember.co.uk/memory/harveys-duo-cans

They were disgusting.

nicko wrote:Bacon,Egg,  beans, Tomatoes,  Black Pudding,  Mushrooms, fried bread,   mug of tea.    Better than all that foreign muck.

Angry Andy wrote:I was trying to think of a new little ditty
about a failed MP name of Chiti.
Then I remembered  Jeremy Hunt
Whose name rhymes with C@#$
And who wanted to explore her clitty.

Angry Andy wrote:I was trying to think of a new little ditty
about a failed MP name of Chiti.
Then I remembered  Jeremy Hunt
Whose name rhymes with C@#$
And who wanted to explore her clitty.

nicko wrote:Don't give up your day job Andy

Syl wrote:Freds poem sums up Christmas so well for so many.

Yours was good too Mags.

























But don't give up the day job.  

magica wrote:

Syl wrote:Freds poem sums up Christmas so well for so many.

Yours was good too Mags.

























But don't give up the day job.  

Ding doing merrily on high
On Newsfix they are singing
Syl got plastered on wine
With Eddie, HT and Smelly
Sing on newsfix sing on newsfix
sing with Gel and Ragga too
Sing with all the newsfix crew.  

magica wrote:Hahaha Fred

Syl wrote:

magica wrote:





Ding doing merrily on high
On Newsfix they are singing
Syl got plastered on wine
With Eddie, HT and Smelly
Sing on newsfix sing on newsfix
sing with Gel and Ragga too
Sing with all the newsfix crew.  

That one made your first one look like a Shakespeare triumph. 

sassy wrote:The Lord of the Manor in his old detached house
peeped round the wall as quiet as a mouse. (Quiet? Moi)
He'd been pretending to be one of the gentry (Nope, I AM one of the gentry)
said he'd been roaming around in his Land Rover and Bentley. (It's a BMW)

He'd hoped that his words would be taken as true (No "hope" about it. Like George Washington I cannot tell a lie)
but he knew if they found him, that horrible crew
would all take the piss from him about boasting and lies (only the intellectually challenged would attempt that)
so he hid in his garden (estate, if you please)by the dustbins and flies.

He's probably still there, burbling about Labour (More likely to be Marxist Party, policed by Momentum thugs)
and fishing in the rubbish for something to savour (I would leave that to my footman)
While Conservatives watched him the silly old sap (I very much doubt whether the present Conservative Party would want very much to do with me. Not a member, you see...)
if they cut off his pension, he's still fall in their lap.

Fred Moletrousers wrote:Old Queen Sassilas looked out
of her bedroom window.
She leaned too far and then fell out,
on a red hot cinder
Brightly shone her arse that night
and the pain was cruel
And  then to make things far, far worse
Al shit in Sassy’s gruel.


“You Nazi bastard” Sassy cried
“You’ve ruined my royal dinner.”
“You Commie tosspot” Al replied,
My mates think it’s a winner.”
The next to show his disrespect
Was a bloke by name of Andy.
When Sassy’s head was turned aside
He pissed in the royal brandy.

“You filthy bastard brain dead twat,”
Sassy raged and ranted.
“All this is Boris Johnson’s fault,
“that prick is sexu’ly slanted.”
But entered then a hefty bloke,
known to all as Smelly,
Who took a splendid flying kick
right into Sassy’s belly.

“I’ll get my own back, Sassy cried.
“I’ll report you to the coppers.”
“They won’t believe you,” Nicko said,
“You tell too many whoppers.”
Then in came Veya the Pan-Jan-Drum,
and called for peace and quiet.
“Oh just fuck off and have a wank,”
yelled a bloke whose name was Wyatt.

“Call out the guard," Queen Sassy yelled
“The peasants are revolting.
My gruel’s shit, my brandy’s pissed
And Didge the turkey’s moulting.”
“Silence, fools” Lord Veyaster roared
and in anger raised his right hand.
“I’m pissed of with the lot of you
and from this day you’re all banned.”

If I have offended anyone.....tough shit.





 

Fred Moletrousers wrote:

sassy wrote:The Lord of the Manor in his old detached house
peeped round the wall as quiet as a mouse. (Quiet? Moi)
He'd been pretending to be one of the gentry (Nope, I AM one of the gentry)
said he'd been roaming around in his Land Rover and Bentley. (It's a BMW)

He'd hoped that his words would be taken as true (No "hope" about it. Like George Washington I cannot tell a lie)
but he knew if they found him, that horrible crew
would all take the piss from him about boasting and lies (only the intellectually challenged would attempt that)
so he hid in his garden (estate, if you please)by the dustbins and flies.

He's probably still there, burbling about Labour (More likely to be Marxist Party, policed by Momentum thugs)
and fishing in the rubbish for something to savour (I would leave that to my footman)
While Conservatives watched him the silly old sap (I very much doubt whether the present Conservative Party would want very much to do with me. Not a member, you see...)
if they cut off his pension, he's still fall in their lap.

(Not quite, my investments - enhanced by the use of perfectly legal tax avoidance measures introduced by Gordon Brown - are sufficient enough to place me in the higher tax bracket.)

Not bad, but somewhat inaccurate. I have corrected your effort where appropriate.

sassy wrote:

Fred Moletrousers wrote:
(Not quite, my investments - enhanced by the use of perfectly legal tax avoidance measures introduced by Gordon Brown - are sufficient enough to place me in the higher tax bracket.)

Not bad, but somewhat inaccurate. I have corrected your effort where appropriate.

Ah, still trying to keep up the pretence.  

sassy wrote:

Fred Moletrousers wrote:Old Queen Sassilas looked out
of her bedroom window.
She leaned too far and then fell out,
on a red hot cinder
Brightly shone her arse that night
and the pain was cruel
And  then to make things far, far worse
Al shit in Sassy’s gruel.


“You Nazi bastard” Sassy cried
“You’ve ruined my royal dinner.”
“You Commie tosspot” Al replied,
My mates think it’s a winner.”
The next to show his disrespect
Was a bloke by name of Andy.
When Sassy’s head was turned aside
He pissed in the royal brandy.

“You filthy bastard brain dead twat,”
Sassy raged and ranted.
“All this is Boris Johnson’s fault,
“that prick is sexu’ly slanted.”
But entered then a hefty bloke,
known to all as Smelly,
Who took a splendid flying kick
right into Sassy’s belly.

“I’ll get my own back, Sassy cried.
“I’ll report you to the coppers.”
“They won’t believe you,” Nicko said,
“You tell too many whoppers.”
Then in came Veya the Pan-Jan-Drum,
and called for peace and quiet.
“Oh just fuck off and have a wank,”
yelled a bloke whose name was Wyatt.

“Call out the guard," Queen Sassy yelled
“The peasants are revolting.
My gruel’s shit, my brandy’s pissed
And Didge the turkey’s moulting.”
“Silence, fools” Lord Veyaster roared
and in anger raised his right hand.
“I’m pissed of with the lot of you
and from this day you’re all banned.”

If I have offended anyone.....tough shit.





 

Well Fred, it appears you can't handle someone opposing your point of view, to the extent you are happy to 'wish for' a violent attack on a poster who happens to be a woman.
'But entered then a hefty bloke,
known to all as Smelly,
Who took a splendid flying kick
right into Sassy’s belly.'

I wonder what you would have to say if someone wrote about a violent attack on you because you had disagreed with them.   It seems to me your mask has not only slipped, but fallen in the gutter.   So now I know the kind of man I am dealing with, and it's certainly not the kind of man you have always pretended to be.   Just basically an older Smelly, with a slightly better command of language, slightly better, but not as good as you make out.

magica wrote:I want to add here, mine was pure jest, no offence meant.

sassy wrote:So, if I wrote:

But entered then a hefty bloke,
known to all as Smelly,
Who took a splendid flying kick
right into stupid Fred's belly.

you would think that amusing.


It seems advocating violence is ok in your book and funny.   I think that says a lot more about you than it does me Fred, and the fact you can't stand someone disagreeing with you, even more.