Mother criticises commuters who forced her to stand on a packed train while she breastfed her baby

First topic message reminder :

A mother has shamed commuters who forced her to stand on a packed train while she fed her 15-month-old baby in a corridor.
Bryony Esther, 32, shared a photograph of her attempting to breastfeed her child while surrounded by men taking up all nearby seats.
The mother-of-three revealed no one offered to give up their spot for her and one man just chose to gawp at her instead.


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4706238/Mother-forced-stand-packed-train-breastfeed-baby.html?param_usr=1¶m_targetUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailymail.co.uk%2Fnews%2Farticle-4706238%2FMother-forced-stand-packed-train-breastfeed-baby.html¶m_geolocation=gb¶m__host=secured.dailymail.co.uk¶m_hideMasthead=¶m_hideFooter=&base_fe_url=http%3A%2F%2Fdailymail.co.uk%2F&validation_fe_uri=%2Fregistration%2Fp%2Fapi%2Ffield%2Fvalidation%2F&check_user_fe_uri=registration%2Fp%2Fapi%2Fuser%2Fuser_check%2F&isMobile=false

Raggamuffin wrote:

eddie wrote:There seem to be a few arguments here, the breastfeeding of a child of 18 months, the fact she was taking a selfie and the fact no one gave her a seat.

The most important one to me is the ignorance of the passengers.  I have to wonder about that. I've never not given my seat to someone more deserving, pensioners, children, people with children, people with crutches, people with massive bags!

Fucking hell. Shouldn't even be up for debate.

It doesn't say what time it was, but if it was a commuter train, people generally don't give up their seats. It's bad enough they have to travel to London to work without pandering to someone who chose to breastfeed her kid on a busy train.

Pandering?

That says it all to me.
So because they have to travel to work, where generally they will sit on their butts all day behind a PC. This means they should even more sit down. More likely slouched and do their posture not good what so ever. 

Yes we are all tired at the end of the day, but try taking a child all day round with you and see what is more tiring. As in every situation it will be the day with the child.

eddie wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

It doesn't say what time it was, but if it was a commuter train, people generally don't give up their seats. It's bad enough they have to travel to London to work without pandering to someone who chose to breastfeed her kid on a busy train.

Okay you keep banging on about her having a tit out but my point is, again, why didnt anyone give their seat to a woman with a small toddler?
Wouldn't you?

I don't know - it would depend on what mood I was in and how tired I was. The point is that she was not entitled to a seat in particular just because she had a kid with her, and I don't approve of her appealing to people to shame those on the train.

Thorin wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

It doesn't say what time it was, but if it was a commuter train, people generally don't give up their seats. It's bad enough they have to travel to London to work without pandering to someone who chose to breastfeed her kid on a busy train.

Pandering?

That says it all to me.
So because they have to travel to work, where generally they will sit on their butts all day behind a PC. This means they should even more sit down. More likely slouched and do their posture not good what so ever. 

Yes we are all tired at the end of the day, but try taking a child all day round with you and see what is more tiring. As in every situation it will be the day with the child.

I don't know why you're assuming they'll be sitting down all day. People pay for train tickets and they don't give up their seats that easily. It's just a fact of life - there's no point getting outraged on Facebook.

eddie wrote:There seem to be a few arguments here, the breastfeeding of a child of 18 months, the fact she was taking a selfie and the fact no one gave her a seat.

The most important one to me is the ignorance of the passengers.  I have to wonder about that. I've never not given my seat to someone more deserving, pensioners, children, people with children, people with crutches, people with massive bags!

Fucking hell. Shouldn't even be up for debate.

But that's you. I've done the same. Would I have given her my seat? Probably...particularly when I was younger and if I felt she was struggling...but it's my suspicion that nobody on that train thought she was struggling. I have injured knees now, so whether I'd vacate a seat in this situation would be dependent on how I feel. What gets my goat about this woman is her attitude, sense of entitlement and lack of humility...stamping her trotters because she's got a kid and everyone better jump through those hoops. She could just as easily kept the child in the buggy and given it some solid food.... a provision most parents make on journeys.

You see rags, I never used the word 'entitled'. That's the trouble with the world. People should be kind and generous because it's second nature, not because of someone else's perceived entitlement.

If you've never traveled with a child you have no idea how tired they get. Never mind the mother, she's an adult and it's what she does. So those ignorant passengers didnt just deny a mother a seat, they denied it to a young toddler.

Think about that.

I was on a train in London once, and some bloke was lying on the floor and people were stepping over him when they got off. It's just the way things are.

Raggamuffin wrote:

Thorin wrote:


Pandering?

That says it all to me.
So because they have to travel to work, where generally they will sit on their butts all day behind a PC. This means they should even more sit down. More likely slouched and do their posture not good what so ever. 

Yes we are all tired at the end of the day, but try taking a child all day round with you and see what is more tiring. As in every situation it will be the day with the child.

I don't know why you're assuming they'll be sitting down all day. People pay for train tickets and they don't give up their seats that easily. It's just a fact of life - there's no point getting outraged on Facebook.

What did you fail to grasp but the word "generally" and "sat behind a PC"?
Its not a fact of life, this is about the decent thing to do. 
As eddie says, its not just those with children.
Again people should give up their seats to those who need it more.

Raggamuffin wrote:I was on a train in London once, and some bloke was lying on the floor and people were stepping over him when they got off. It's just the way things are.

Clearly. How sad.

eddie wrote:You see rags, I never used the word 'entitled'. That's the trouble with the world. People should be kind and generous because it's second nature, not because of someone else's perceived entitlement.  

If you've never traveled with a child you have no idea how tired they get.  Never mind the mother, she's an adult and it's what she does. So those ignorant passengers didnt just  deny a mother a seat, they denied it to a young toddler.

Think about that.

Yes, but she has an air of being entitled don't you think? She was demanding that people condemn the other passengers, and nobody likes to be told what they should think and what they should condemn. That kind of thing usually backfires. The toddler could have sat in the push chair, and I doubt she cared where she sat.

eddie wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:I was on a train in London once, and some bloke was lying on the floor and people were stepping over him when they got off. It's just the way things are.

Clearly. How sad.

Well he'd been drinking, and they probably thought he asked for it, but even so ...

eddie wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

I just don't like attention seekers, and I don't like people who use social media to try to "shame" people. She should have had a pushchair, or held the kid's hand or something - or planned her journey when the trains were less busy.

Perhaps she was attention-seeking. My focus isn't on that aspect, I'm far more concerned at the level of don't-give-a-shit by the general public.
It's saddening.

There is the possibility that she was 'victim-posturing' for a seat. She got on, saw there were no seats, and then decided she would be a poor, woe-begotten nursing mother, who just had to whip a tit out because this was the only moment when the kid could feed.

It seems to me there was a lot of opportunity to avoid this incident, unless you were looking to stir up some shit.

I think she has the air of someone who finds a bunch of ignorant people entirely ignorant. As do I.

eddie wrote:I think she has the air of someone who finds a bunch of ignorant people entirely ignorant. As do I.

100% agree.

eddie wrote:You see rags, I never used the word 'entitled'. That's the trouble with the world. People should be kind and generous because it's second nature, not because of someone else's perceived entitlement.  

If you've never traveled with a child you have no idea how tired they get.  Never mind the mother, she's an adult and it's what she does. So those ignorant passengers didnt just  deny a mother a seat, they denied it to a young toddler.

Think about that.

The woman had a buggy.

Original Quill wrote:

eddie wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

I just don't like attention seekers, and I don't like people who use social media to try to "shame" people. She should have had a pushchair, or held the kid's hand or something - or planned her journey when the trains were less busy.

Perhaps she was attention-seeking. My focus isn't on that aspect, I'm far more concerned at the level of don't-give-a-shit by the general public.
It's saddening.

There is the possibility that she was 'victim-posturing' for a seat.  She got on, saw there were no seats, and then decided she would be a poor, woe-begotten nursing mother, who just had to whip a tit out because this was the only moment when the kid could feed.

It seems to me there was a lot of opportunity to avoid this incident, unless you were looking to stir up some shit.

Wonder what your answer would've been if she was black? And that's not a dig, that's a genuine wonderment.

HoratioTarr wrote:

eddie wrote:You see rags, I never used the word 'entitled'. That's the trouble with the world. People should be kind and generous because it's second nature, not because of someone else's perceived entitlement.  

If you've never traveled with a child you have no idea how tired they get.  Never mind the mother, she's an adult and it's what she does. So those ignorant passengers didnt just  deny a mother a seat, they denied it to a young toddler.

Think about that.

The woman had a buggy.

How do you breastfeed a child in a buggy? I know you think that the baby was too old to breastfeed but that's your opnion and the age is irrelavent.

eddie wrote:

Original Quill wrote:

There is the possibility that she was 'victim-posturing' for a seat.  She got on, saw there were no seats, and then decided she would be a poor, woe-begotten nursing mother, who just had to whip a tit out because this was the only moment when the kid could feed.

It seems to me there was a lot of opportunity to avoid this incident, unless you were looking to stir up some shit.

Wonder what your answer would've been if she was black?  And that's not a dig, that's a genuine wonderment.

Of course it would be the same. Skin color doesn't determine attitude. Anyone can be an arsehole.

eddie wrote:I think she has the air of someone who finds a bunch of ignorant people entirely ignorant. As do I.

Rubbish. For a start, most of the passengers probably didn't see her. She's not exactly standing near any seats apart from the disabled seat. The only one she can point the finger at is the guy with the bicycle, and he looks worn out! It looks like he might be asleep.

If you're going on a train journey, pack a drink and some food for the kid. It's common sense!

Original Quill wrote:

eddie wrote:

Original Quill wrote:

There is the possibility that she was 'victim-posturing' for a seat.  She got on, saw there were no seats, and then decided she would be a poor, woe-begotten nursing mother, who just had to whip a tit out because this was the only moment when the kid could feed.

It seems to me there was a lot of opportunity to avoid this incident, unless you were looking to stir up some shit.

Wonder what your answer would've been if she was black?  And that's not a dig, that's a genuine wonderment.

Of course it would be the same.  Skin color doesn't determine attitude.  Anyone can be an arsehole.

I totally agree. But.
Are you sure you wouldn't have assumed that race came into it? It's just that you usually do, to be fair (and possibly you're mostly right, who knows?)

eddie wrote:

HoratioTarr wrote:

The woman had a buggy.

How do you breastfeed a child in a buggy? I know you think that the baby was too old to breastfeed but that's your opnion and the age is irrelavent.

It's not irrelevant. If this woman chooses to breastfeed a kid which could easily be eating other food, that's up to her. It doesn't give her the right to expect everyone else to agree with her. Nobody stopped her breastfeeding.

Raggamuffin wrote:

eddie wrote:I think she has the air of someone who finds a bunch of ignorant people entirely ignorant. As do I.

Rubbish. For a start, most of the passengers probably didn't see her. She's not exactly standing near any seats apart from the disabled seat. The only one she can point the finger at is the guy with the bicycle, and he looks worn out! It looks like he might be asleep.

If you're going on a train journey, pack a drink and some food for the kid. It's common sense!

Perhaps the child wasn't feeling great and only wanted to breastfeed? I don't know!
I just find the attitudes of the other passengers rude.
I'd have given her my seat in a heartbeat.

eddie wrote:

HoratioTarr wrote:

The woman had a buggy.

How do you breastfeed a child in a buggy? I know you think that the baby was too old to breastfeed but that's your opnion and the age is irrelavent.

Why breastfeed it? Why not give it some solid food? What's wrong with doing that. Nothing.

Raggamuffin wrote:

eddie wrote:

How do you breastfeed a child in a buggy? I know you think that the baby was too old to breastfeed but that's your opnion and the age is irrelavent.

It's not irrelevant. If this woman chooses to breastfeed a kid which could easily be eating other food, that's up to her. It doesn't give her the right to expect everyone else to agree with her. Nobody stopped her breastfeeding.

Yeah i am sure she could just whip up some baby food, when she has some ready made in her breasts.
Again its not or you to say how people should feed their children.
When a child is hungry, they are hungry.
Maybe she should have instead left the child become upset, because I bet that would have gone down well.,

HoratioTarr wrote:

eddie wrote:

HoratioTarr wrote:

The woman had a buggy.

How do you breastfeed a child in a buggy? I know you think that the baby was too old to breastfeed but that's your opnion and the age is irrelavent.

Why breastfeed  it?   Why not give it some solid food?   What's wrong with doing that.   Nothing.

See my answer, above.

eddie wrote:

Original Quill wrote:

Of course it would be the same.  Skin color doesn't determine attitude.  Anyone can be an arsehole.

I totally agree. But.
Are you sure you wouldn't have assumed that race came into it? It's just that you usually do, to be fair (and possibly you're mostly right, who knows?)

Never entered my mind.

My answer was based upon: I have a vague feeling that this was contrived, and had an ulterior motive. As I said, this--if it was genuine--had a lot of opportunity not to happen. Therefore, I think she wanted it to happen...she made it up.

So... there were plenty of seats in other parts of train...?

And she had a buggy too...?


Is she one of those militant breast feeding numptys who were going round last year and flopping them out all over the place, attempting to cause a scene so they could make a story out of it all to sell to the newspapers, and make a big lefty PC statement about 'equality' etc...?


Well... she got some 'equality' as the men saw her as an equal person and equally capable of standing up as they were...

HoratioTarr wrote:

eddie wrote:

How do you breastfeed a child in a buggy? I know you think that the baby was too old to breastfeed but that's your opnion and the age is irrelavent.

Why breastfeed  it?   Why not give it some solid food?   What's wrong with doing that.   Nothing.

Why not eat dog meat? There is nothing wrong with it.

Perhaps the child wasn't feeling great and only wanted to breastfeed? I don't know! Why is everyone banging on about why she was breastfeeding???

I find the attitudes of the other passengers rude.
I'd have given her my seat in a heartbeat.

eddie wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

Rubbish. For a start, most of the passengers probably didn't see her. She's not exactly standing near any seats apart from the disabled seat. The only one she can point the finger at is the guy with the bicycle, and he looks worn out! It looks like he might be asleep.

If you're going on a train journey, pack a drink and some food for the kid. It's common sense!

Perhaps the child wasn't feeling great and only wanted to breastfeed? I don't know!
I just find the attitudes of the other passengers rude.
I'd have given her my seat in a heartbeat.  

She wasn't anywhere near them! She posted a pic of herself breastfeeding and there were empty seats behind her. She was too busy with her phone to even notice.

Thorin wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

It's not irrelevant. If this woman chooses to breastfeed a kid which could easily be eating other food, that's up to her. It doesn't give her the right to expect everyone else to agree with her. Nobody stopped her breastfeeding.

Yeah i am sure she could just whip up some baby food, when she has some ready made in her breasts.
Again its not or you to say how people should feed their children.
When a child is hungry, they are hungry.
Maybe she should have instead left the child become upset, because I bet that would have gone down well.,

Well if she goes on a train determined to breast feed a kid of that age, she shouldn't have assumed that anyone will pander to her - it was her choice.

eddie wrote:
Perhaps the child wasn't feeling great and only wanted to breastfeed? I don't know! Why is everyone banging on about why she was breastfeeding???

I find the attitudes of the other passengers rude.
I'd have given her my seat in a heartbeat.

They have a fear of boobs?

Some clearly want to judge over whether its right to feed a child or not through breastfeeding.

Hence my point to Horatio if she would eat dog meat.

Off course she would not, but she wants to tell someone else how they should feed their kids.

Go figure

eddie wrote:
Perhaps the child wasn't feeling great and only wanted to breastfeed? I don't know! Why is everyone banging on about why she was breastfeeding???

Because she made an issue of it...not us.

Raggamuffin wrote:

Thorin wrote:


Yeah i am sure she could just whip up some baby food, when she has some ready made in her breasts.
Again its not or you to say how people should feed their children.
When a child is hungry, they are hungry.
Maybe she should have instead left the child become upset, because I bet that would have gone down well.,

Well if she goes on a train determined to breast feed a kid of that age, she shouldn't have assumed that anyone will pander to her - it was her choice.

Determined?
Most natural think in the world, is breastfeeding.
You mean she should have realised that some people can be so utterly selfish?

Thorin wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

It's not irrelevant. If this woman chooses to breastfeed a kid which could easily be eating other food, that's up to her. It doesn't give her the right to expect everyone else to agree with her. Nobody stopped her breastfeeding.

Yeah i am sure she could just whip up some baby food, when she has some ready made in her breasts.
Again its not or you to say how people should feed their children.
When a child is hungry, they are hungry.
Maybe she should have instead left the child become upset, because I bet that would have gone down well.,

At 15 months, a child is capable of eating many adult foods so long as it's cut up and portioned. As Quill said, I suspect this is more about her than her child.

Thorin wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

Well if she goes on a train determined to breast feed a kid of that age, she shouldn't have assumed that anyone will pander to her - it was her choice.

Determined?
Most natural think in the world, is breastfeeding.
You mean she should have realised that some people can be so utterly selfish?

No, she should have realised that a train is probably not an ideal place for it, and planning accordingly. It was her problem to deal with. As I said, she's just attention seeking. She didn't even notice the empty seats.

Original Quill wrote:

eddie wrote:
Perhaps the child wasn't feeling great and only wanted to breastfeed? I don't know! Why is everyone banging on about why she was breastfeeding???

Because she made an issue of it...not us.

And that's the crux, isn't it? This was all about her.

HoratioTarr wrote:

Thorin wrote:


Yeah i am sure she could just whip up some baby food, when she has some ready made in her breasts.
Again its not or you to say how people should feed their children.
When a child is hungry, they are hungry.
Maybe she should have instead left the child become upset, because I bet that would have gone down well.,

  At 15  months, a child is capable of eating many adult foods so long as it's cut up and portioned.    As Quill said, I suspect this is more about her than her child.

And a child is also capable of continuing to be breastfed.

Its not down to you or others to decide on this, but the mother herself.

Thorin wrote:

HoratioTarr wrote:

  At 15  months, a child is capable of eating many adult foods so long as it's cut up and portioned.    As Quill said, I suspect this is more about her than her child.

And a child is also capable of continuing to be breastfed.

Its not down to you or others to decide on this, but the mother herself.

Then it was her choice, and she had no business making such a fuss.

Raggamuffin wrote:

Thorin wrote:

Determined?
Most natural think in the world, is breastfeeding.
You mean she should have realised that some people can be so utterly selfish?

No, she should have realised that a train is probably not an ideal place for it, and planning accordingly. It was her problem to deal with. As I said, she's just attention seeking. She didn't even notice the empty seats.

Okay, so you would rather she walks the distance instead and that basically to you, children should never go out and stay in doors until they go to school...

Raggamuffin wrote:

Thorin wrote:


And a child is also capable of continuing to be breastfed.

Its not down to you or others to decide on this, but the mother herself.

Then it was her choice, and she had no business making such a fuss.

She has every right to speak out on social media.

What do you think you do on this forum everyday and even now.??

Thorin wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

No, she should have realised that a train is probably not an ideal place for it, and planning accordingly. It was her problem to deal with. As I said, she's just attention seeking. She didn't even notice the empty seats.

Okay, so you would rather she walks the distance instead and that basically to you, children should never go out and stay in doors until they go to school...

She can walk if she likes, as long as she stops making a fuss and saying "look at me!!!!". Some people are so gullible.

Thorin wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

Then it was her choice, and she had no business making such a fuss.

She has every right to speak out on social media.

What do you think you do on this forum everyday and even now.??

And people have every right to call her out for doing so.

Raggamuffin wrote:

Thorin wrote:


Okay, so you would rather she walks the distance instead and that basically to you, children should never go out and stay in doors until they go to school...

She can walk if she likes, as long as she stops making a fuss and saying "look at me!!!!". Some people are so gullible.

She can make a fuss all she likes if she rightly sees people are lazy.

Raggamuffin wrote:

Thorin wrote:


She has every right to speak out on social media.

What do you think you do on this forum everyday and even now.??

And people have every right to call her out for doing so.

Who has tried to stop you?

Nobody

All people have done is been critical of your views.

Just as you have with her

So you made yourself a tad of a hypocrite because you are speaking out against this on social media

Raggamuffin wrote:

Thorin wrote:


And a child is also capable of continuing to be breastfed.

Its not down to you or others to decide on this, but the mother herself.

Then it was her choice, and she had no business making such a fuss.

The way I see it is, no one else is on about her breastfeeding or her not getting a seat on the train. She's the one who's making the fuss.

Personally, I think she thought about breastfeeding only after she saw no one was giving her a seat.

Thorin wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

And people have every right to call her out for doing so.

Who has tried to stop you?

Nobody

All people have done is been critical of your views.

Just as you have with her

So you made yourself a tad of a hypocrite because you are speaking out against this on social media

Only two people have been critical of my views. More have agreed with them. This isn't social media like Facebook - we're all anonymous. In any case, I very rarely get involved with personal stuff on forums.

Original Quill wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

Then it was her choice, and she had no business making such a fuss.

The way I see it is, no one else is on about her breastfeeding or her not getting a seat on the train.  She's the one who's making the fuss.

Personally, I think she thought about breastfeeding only after she saw no one was giving her a seat.

You could be right there.

Raggamuffin wrote:

Thorin wrote:


Who has tried to stop you?

Nobody

All people have done is been critical of your views.

Just as you have with her

So you made yourself a tad of a hypocrite because you are speaking out against this on social media

Only two people have been critical of my views. More have agreed with them. This isn't social media like Facebook - we're all anonymous. In any case, I very rarely get involved with personal stuff on forums.

It is social media and you are making a fuss about this.
Yes we have seen the ones who automatically thing the worst of a person.
Not one of you has presented a reason not to give up a seat to someone who needs it more.

Thorin wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

Well if she goes on a train determined to breast feed a kid of that age, she shouldn't have assumed that anyone will pander to her - it was her choice.

Determined?
Most natural think in the world, is breastfeeding.
You mean she should have realised that some people can be so utterly selfish?

Nobody on here is saying that breastfeeding isn't natural.

Thorin wrote:

HoratioTarr wrote:

  At 15  months, a child is capable of eating many adult foods so long as it's cut up and portioned.    As Quill said, I suspect this is more about her than her child.

And a child is also capable of continuing to be breastfed.

Its not down to you or others to decide on this, but the mother herself.

Yes. Her decision. But don't expect everyone else to fit in with those choices.