Would you like to read Boris Johnson’s prize-winning goat-sex poem about Turkey’s president?

Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erdoğan has annoyed a fair amount of people in Europe.

So much so that a British magazine, the Spectator, offered a £1,000 ($1,440) prize for the most offensive poem against Erdoğan. The competition was in response to the prosecution of a German comedian, who read a poem mocking Erdoğan on TV. German authorities are exploiting a fairly obscure lèse majesté law against insulting a head of state to satisfy their Turkish partners.

The principle also exists in Netherlands, where the Turkish consulate in Rotterdam was heavily criticized for asking local Turkish organizations to report derogatory statements against the Turkish president.

After receiving thousands of entries, the Spectator announced that former London mayor Boris Johnson had won the competition with the following entry:

There was a young fellow from Ankara
Who was a terrific wankerer
Till he sowed his wild oats
With the help of a goat
But he didn’t even stop to thankera.

Johnson’s limerick about the Turkish president having sex with a goat was first performed impromptu during an interview with the Swiss magazine Die Weltwoche.

https://uk.finance.yahoo.com/news/read-boris-johnson-prize-winning-093018937.html

Given the situation in Turkey it's highly unlikely that Boris will be sent there to show solidarity with the Turkish government. Unless of course it is to apologise just like he was ordered to do by Michael Howard to apologise to the people of Liverpool for his comments about them.

What a plank.

And Boris Gump is foreign minister.

You couldn't make this shit up.

He needs some lessons from me about writing hilarious limericks.

The former London mayor
Got semen stuck in his hair.
There was confusion to whom it belonged,
but without doubt it certainly ponged,
Because his shag with a goat was a dare.

I like that HA

Trump and Gump (Boris) are very similar-looking too.

eddie wrote:Trump and Gump (Boris) are very similar-looking too.

Brothers from another MOTHER

There was a crazy called Trump
decided to go for a dump
Despite having plenty of cash
He could only muster a slash
Which made him feel like a chump.

A nutter on the west of the pond
had a cousin who was equally blond
They both had mad dreams
about ruling the world it seems,
But neither had a magic wand.

There was a PM called May
Who once had a romp in the hay.
As she came up for air,
with straw stuck in her hair
She uttered "I could do this all day".

A Labour leader named Ed
Took his wife's dildo to bed.
At the very first stroke
The bloody thing thing broke.
After that his career was all but dead.

    Oh, Handy Andy ...who knew you were so filled with such Haiku type of humor?

Well, done Mister!

A poster called 4ever2
Needed to go for a poo.
She asked her mate Didge
If it could stay in the fridge
Because it stayed fresher than in the loo.

Handy Andy wrote:A poster called 4ever2
Needed to go for a poo.
She asked her mate Didge
If it could stay in HIS fridge
Because it stayed fresher than in the loo.

   Slightly modified it.  LMAO

A right winger named Tom
dreamed of planting a bomb.
His targets were Asian
Because he only liked causasian
Which he broadcast with great aplomb.

BTW,  no one is exempt from my acerbic wit and hilarious poems

Boris was totaly embarrassed today when his press conference with John Kerry brought out questions about some of his past ravings. Here's an article listing some of them.

SYMPATHY FOR THE PKK (November 2015)

In an interview in 2015, he told ITV News that "his sympathies are with the PKK", despite the group being regarded as a terrorist organization by the UK.

Speaking about a case of a 21-year-old woman from North London, who was sentenced to 21 months in jail for plotting to join the PKK terror group, Johnson said, "My sympathies are very much with the PKK and the Peshmerga and I hope that the legal system will reflect that, and that she gets sensible treatment rather than some absurd punishment."

"BRAVO FOR ASSAD" (MARCH 2016)

Under the headline "Bravo for Assad - he is a vile tyrant but he has saved Palmyra from ISIL," Johnson wrote in his weekly column for the Telegraph newspaper, using another acronym for the Daesh terrorist group. "I cannot conceal my elation as the news comes in from Palmyra and it is reported that the Syrian army is genuinely back in control of the entire Unesco site."

"The victory of Assad is a victory for archaeology, a victory for all those who care about the ancient monuments of one of the most amazing cultural sites on Earth," Johnson wrote.

"PART-KENYAN" U.S. PRESIDENT OBAMA (April 2016)

On the eve of Obama's visit to Britain this year, Johnson wrote the following in an article for the Sun newspaper.

"Something mysterious happened when Barack Obama entered the Oval Office in 2009. Something vanished from that room, and no one could quite explain why.

"It was a bust of Winston Churchill - the great British war time leader. It was a fine goggle-eyed object, done by the brilliant sculptor Jacob Epstein, and it had sat there for almost ten years.

"No one was sure whether the President had himself been involved in the decision. Some said it was a snub to Britain. Some said it was a symbol of the part-Kenyan president's ancestral dislike of the British empire - of which Churchill had been such a fervent defender."

EU, HITLER AND NAPOLEON (May 2016)

In an interview with the Sunday Telegraph newspaper, Johnson said the past 2,000 years of European history had been characterized by repeated attempts to unify Europe under a single government.

"Napoleon, Hitler, various people tried this out, and it ends tragically," Johnson was quoted as saying. "The EU is an attempt to do this by different methods. But fundamentally what is lacking is the eternal problem, which is that there is no underlying loyalty to the idea of Europe. There is no single authority that anybody respects or understands. That is causing this massive democratic void."

http://www.dailysabah.com/europe/2016/07/13/anti-turkey-eurosceptic-boris-johnson-appointed-as-british-foreign-minister

And another couple of crackers from Boris....

Hillary Clinton

In November 2007, he supported Hillary Clinton's bid for presidency with these strange lines in his column:"She's got dyed blonde hair and pouty lips, and a steely blue stare, like a sadistic nurse in a mental hospital." Clinton, he said, had carried out the job of First Lady like "Lady Macbeth, stamping her heel, bawling out subordinates and frisbeeing ashtrays at her erring husband."

Donald Trump

Much of the civilised world loved it when Johnson took aim at Trump for suggesting that Muslim-dominated regions of London were out of bounds for police.
He said Trump was "clearly out of his mind" and that his "ill-informed comments are complete and utter nonsense."
He accused the Republican of "stupefying ignorance" for suggesting immigration had created "no-go" areas of London.
"I would invite him to come and see the whole of London … except that I wouldn't want to expose Londoners to any risk of meeting Donald Trump," he said. "The only reason I wouldn't go to some parts of New York is the real risk of meeting Donald Trump."


Well given that one of them is going to be President of the USA it's going to be a must see when he eventually has to meet them on official government business.

Rock on