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The Husband Fart May Be Helping You Live Longer

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Post by Lurker on Thu May 21, 2020 6:00 pm

https://www.besthealthmag.ca/best-you/relationships/husband-farts/

Turns out that particularly awful habit of his could actually be helping your health. Here’s the scientific research he’s been waiting his whole life for.

Don’t kick up a stink about his stink (yup, you read that right)

There is some truth to the adage that married people live longer than single people, but there is a surprising reason why. Your husband’s worst habit may actually be increasing your lifespan: Husband farts are boosting your immune system.
The power behind the Husband Fart

Researchers at the University of Exeter have found that hydrogen sulfide, the nose-pinching scent that gives flatulence its rotten egg-like quality, can actually have potent health benefits in small doses – and nobody is better at delivering the dose quite like the average husband.

“In order to understand the science of passing gas, you have to understand the sheer scale of microbes that are housed in the human body,” explains AJ Troiano, PhD, a biomedical scientist and consultant.

“It’s not the microbes that have protective properties, but the byproducts they produce during normal metabolic processes.”

The important byproducts in this case are the copious amounts of hydrogen sulfide that are heartily expelled with each passing toot.
What does science say about those husband farts

The study found that the stinky microbial byproduct most wives hate could actually reduce the risk of cancer, heart attack, strokes, arthritis, and dementia.

According to other research, marriage is an important factor affecting the survival of heart attack patients, too, which means even if you’ve already suffered health issues, his finest farts could actually keep you alive, kicking, and sharp. They are an odiferous love letter about how much he cares. Really.

“Our results indicate that if stressed cells are treated with AP39, mitochondria are protected and cells stay alive,” Professor Matt Whiteman of the University of Exeter Medical School says.
What is a wife to do?

If you’re concerned about safe doses of inhaled hydrogen sulfide, you’re justified and should discourage your guy from loading up on delicious bean burritos—and the more surprising foods that cause gas – if you live in close quarters.

A little whiff here or there may have health benefits, but you actually can overdose on fart gas.

At least for now, the next time you find yourself in a stinky situation, knowing that you’re protecting your health will help take the edge off the anger.
Originally Published on Reader's Digest


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Post by eddie on Fri May 22, 2020 12:25 am

I just don’t see how farts make you live longer. Sounds like shit to me. Razz

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Post by Ben Reilly on Fri May 22, 2020 1:47 am

eddie wrote:I just don’t see how farts make you live longer. Sounds like shit to me. Razz

Well, in a nutshell, farts contain a byproduct which strengthened human cells in an experiment.

It just goes to show that we should follow the advice of Benjamin Franklin and "fart proudly." Laughing

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Post by eddie on Fri May 22, 2020 1:54 am

And in other experiments it made people leave the room.

So? The Husband Fart May Be Helping You Live Longer 2190311264

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Post by Original Quill on Fri May 22, 2020 2:22 am

lol! God help us if that's man's salvation.

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Post by eddie on Fri May 22, 2020 2:54 am

Original Quill wrote:lol!   God help us if that's man's salvation.

Farts are not top of my list and as for man’s salvation?

“Let him be the strength that carries me, not the strength that blinds me.”

I don’t know how much sense that quote made. I wrote it whilst drunk so... The Husband Fart May Be Helping You Live Longer 630750432

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Post by Ben Reilly on Fri May 22, 2020 2:57 am

It's brilliant. I think that's what everyone is looking for, and what too few people ever find.

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Post by Original Quill on Fri May 22, 2020 5:23 am

eddie wrote:
Original Quill wrote:lol!   God help us if that's man's salvation.

Farts are not top of my list and as for man’s salvation?

“Let him be the strength that carries me, not the strength that blinds me.”

I don’t know how much sense that quote made. I wrote it whilst drunk so... The Husband Fart May Be Helping You Live Longer 630750432

Some of your best stuff comes when you are otherwise incapacitated. Twisted Evil

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“Little thieves are hanged, but great thieves are praised.” — Old Russian proverb, offered by Vlad Putin to Donald Trump, Helsinki, July, 2018.

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“That's libertarians for you — anarchists who want police protection from their slaves.” ― Kim Stanley Robinson, Green Mars
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Post by Tommy Monk on Fri May 22, 2020 8:36 pm





I reckon the extra longevity is not down to the actual fart gas being of any direct benefit... but by the extra exercise the fart victim has to do, by having to keep getting up and moving away from the farter and staying out of range until safe to return...




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Post by eddie on Fri May 22, 2020 11:29 pm

Original Quill wrote:
eddie wrote:
Original Quill wrote:lol!   God help us if that's man's salvation.

Farts are not top of my list and as for man’s salvation?

“Let him be the strength that carries me, not the strength that blinds me.”

I don’t know how much sense that quote made. I wrote it whilst drunk so... The Husband Fart May Be Helping You Live Longer 630750432

Some of your best stuff comes when you are otherwise incapacitated.  Twisted Evil

I agree! I’m well wise when I’m whiskied up. Cool

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