missing girl special needs

First topic message reminder :

The girl missing from her hotel in Malaya has been found dead in Jungle. Report said she was naked when found. Why the fuck did they have to say that,it's bad enough she's dead without that , her poor Parents .

Original Quill wrote:Eds, you're being set upon by the Mean Girls.  They see things in very two-dimensional terms: ummm, this good; that bad.

Subtleties are lost.  This is a daily experience for Wolf.  Which is why he comes on strong at the start.  I only hope you remember that.

I'm not mean, just think it's no laughing matter about her name. What's so funny in the name anyway. Poor girl is dead and Ed saying she prob killed herself over her name is not funny, nice and sick imo.

Mean girls is just a convenient name to put on a some of us if we happen to agree with anothers viewpoint.
Very lazy posting imo…..and pretty childish too.

Eilzel wrote:A few weeks ago, following the shooting in El Paso, Neil DeGrasse Tyson made an ill-timed tweet about other things that killed more each month than guns. It was a fair point, horrendously badly timed (there are other issues around that point but they are not relevant to my point).

Regardless of whether he was 'right' or 'correct' to make that tweet, it was grossly insensitive to make it right after the event, with millions still shocked and saddened, and those immediately affected still grieving.

In this case, the girl has JUST been found dead. It isn't hard to see why making a joke related to the matter is going to be seen in bad taste.

I wouldn't analyse 'why' people are offended, it is pretty obvious. You are entitled to make the joke, but appreciate why most will not like it at all and are free to say so.

Ah, I see. I should have waited an appropriate amount of time and then it wouldn’t have been offensive - in your opinion.
In the opinion of Cass, she thinks it’s about the age of the dead person that’s offensive.
In the opinion of Syl, it’s because the parents might read it.

We are offended by things in our own way. No wonder it’s confusing to comedians or anybody that says something “edgy”...those people just don’t know who will be offended by what!

You'd have to be thick as shit not to be offended by your comment, one of my granddaughters is named Nora !

PS,It was the wrong to say Eddie , and you know it .Your excuses don't wash !

eddie wrote:

Eilzel wrote:A few weeks ago, following the shooting in El Paso, Neil DeGrasse Tyson made an ill-timed tweet about other things that killed more each month than guns. It was a fair point, horrendously badly timed (there are other issues around that point but they are not relevant to my point).

Regardless of whether he was 'right' or 'correct' to make that tweet, it was grossly insensitive to make it right after the event, with millions still shocked and saddened, and those immediately affected still grieving.

In this case, the girl has JUST been found dead. It isn't hard to see why making a joke related to the matter is going to be seen in bad taste.

I wouldn't analyse 'why' people are offended, it is pretty obvious. You are entitled to make the joke, but appreciate why most will not like it at all and are free to say so.

Ah, I see. I should have waited an appropriate amount of time and then it wouldn’t have been offensive - in your opinion.
In the opinion of Cass, she thinks it’s about the age of the dead person that’s offensive.
In the opinion of Syl, it’s because the parents might read it.

We are offended by things in our own way.  No wonder it’s confusing to comedians or anybody that says something “edgy”...those people just don’t know who will be offended by what!

It's not confusing really, some things are just downright cruel to say, the age of the girl and whether her parents may see the comments are just two reasons why.

You may think you are being cutting edge or 'edgy', in truth your comment was just plain nasty.

I just looked back, someone gave you a reputation point for your post....which sort of proves there is nowt as queer as folk.

Anyway...

"The parents of 15-year-old Nora Quoirin were yesterday flying home to Britain with their daughter’s body after she was found dead in a Malaysian jungle following a ten-day search.
As they flew back, police admitted that inexperienced searchers may have missed critical opportunities to save the teenager, who had severe learning difficulties."

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/world/malaysian-police-admit-inexperienced-officers-may-have-missed-vital-clues-in-10-day-search-for-nora-quoirin-as-her-family-fly-15-year-olds-body-back-to-uk/ar-AAFXVtX?MSCC=1566133818&ocid=spartandhp

magica wrote:

Original Quill wrote:Eds, you're being set upon by the Mean Girls.  They see things in very two-dimensional terms: ummm, this good; that bad.

Subtleties are lost.  This is a daily experience for Wolf.  Which is why he comes on strong at the start.  I only hope you remember that.

I'm not mean, just think it's no laughing matter about her name.  What's so funny in the name anyway.  Poor girl is dead and Ed saying she prob killed herself over her name is not funny, nice and sick imo.

She obviously doesn't really think that's what happened, that's why it's a joke.

Jesus Christ, humor really isn't for everybody...

---- not that kind anyway.

Ben Reilly wrote:

magica wrote:

I'm not mean, just think it's no laughing matter about her name.  What's so funny in the name anyway.  Poor girl is dead and Ed saying she prob killed herself over her name is not funny, nice and sick imo.

She obviously doesn't really think that's what happened, that's why it's a joke.

Jesus Christ, humor really isn't for everybody...

No! That's not humour imo.

eddie wrote:

Eilzel wrote:A few weeks ago, following the shooting in El Paso, Neil DeGrasse Tyson made an ill-timed tweet about other things that killed more each month than guns. It was a fair point, horrendously badly timed (there are other issues around that point but they are not relevant to my point).

Regardless of whether he was 'right' or 'correct' to make that tweet, it was grossly insensitive to make it right after the event, with millions still shocked and saddened, and those immediately affected still grieving.

In this case, the girl has JUST been found dead. It isn't hard to see why making a joke related to the matter is going to be seen in bad taste.

I wouldn't analyse 'why' people are offended, it is pretty obvious. You are entitled to make the joke, but appreciate why most will not like it at all and are free to say so.

Ah, I see. I should have waited an appropriate amount of time and then it wouldn’t have been offensive - in your opinion.
In the opinion of Cass, she thinks it’s about the age of the dead person that’s offensive.
In the opinion of Syl, it’s because the parents might read it.

We are offended by things in our own way.  No wonder it’s confusing to comedians or anybody that says something “edgy”...those people just don’t know who will be offended by what!

"Edgy" is just another word for "offensive. Why are you so proud of saying something so offensive? It's fine to be quirky, edgy, ditsy, and "dark", but don't use it as an excuse for saying offensive things.

Ben Reilly wrote:

magica wrote:


I'm not mean, just think it's no laughing matter about her name.  What's so funny in the name anyway.  Poor girl is dead and Ed saying she prob killed herself over her name is not funny, nice and sick imo.

She obviously doesn't really think that's what happened, that's why it's a joke.

Jesus Christ, humor really isn't for everybody...

You have some strange ideas about humour.

Okay, let me just say that my first thought when people said she wasn't sexually assaulted was of course she wasn't, look at her face.

I didn't say that, because obviously that's in really bad taste. It's far, far, FAR worse than what eddie said.

So am I better for just thinking that and not saying it? Or is it not the thought that counts?

I'd stick up for my Wife as well !!!!!!

Ben Reilly wrote:Okay, let me just say that my first thought when people said she wasn't sexually assaulted was of course she wasn't, look at her face.

I didn't say that, because obviously that's in really bad taste. It's far, far, FAR worse than what eddie said.

So am I better for just thinking that and not saying it? Or is it not the thought that counts?

Do stop showing off. The pair of you need to grow up and realise that this kind of thing isn't clever.

eddie wrote:

Cass wrote:Poor girl. I believe she probably wandered off herself and the parents are looking for someone to blame because they feel terrible guilt. I would be the same probably.  At least I hope this is what happened as thinking of her being abducted is awful. Either way it’s so tragic.

RIP Nora x

Probably killed herself because she had such an awful name.
Who calls their kid Nora?

Left wingers have been basemented here by Vic for saying less.
Just sayin'.

Ben Reilly wrote:Okay, let me just say that my first thought when people said she wasn't sexually assaulted was of course she wasn't, look at her face.

I didn't say that, because obviously that's in really bad taste. It's far, far, FAR worse than what eddie said.

So am I better for just thinking that and not saying it? Or is it not the thought that counts?

Ben I get you want to stick up for Ed, and justify what she said, but surely you can see it wasn't nice and not justified.
I'm saying no more now, it's been done to death.

Ben Reilly wrote:Okay, let me just say that my first thought when people said she wasn't sexually assaulted was of course she wasn't, look at her face.

I didn't say that, because obviously that's in really bad taste. It's far, far, FAR worse than what eddie said.

So am I better for just thinking that and not saying it? Or is it not the thought that counts?

Ben I get you want to stick up for Ed, and justify what she said, but surely you can see it wasn't nice and not justified.
I'm saying no more now, it's been done to death.

nicko wrote:You'd have to be thick as shit not to be offended by your comment,    one of my granddaughters is named Nora !

And I’m glad she’s alive and well! Still think it’s a horrid name. But don’t stress, it’s just my opinion.

Raggamuffin wrote:

eddie wrote:

Eilzel wrote:A few weeks ago, following the shooting in El Paso, Neil DeGrasse Tyson made an ill-timed tweet about other things that killed more each month than guns. It was a fair point, horrendously badly timed (there are other issues around that point but they are not relevant to my point).

Regardless of whether he was 'right' or 'correct' to make that tweet, it was grossly insensitive to make it right after the event, with millions still shocked and saddened, and those immediately affected still grieving.

In this case, the girl has JUST been found dead. It isn't hard to see why making a joke related to the matter is going to be seen in bad taste.

I wouldn't analyse 'why' people are offended, it is pretty obvious. You are entitled to make the joke, but appreciate why most will not like it at all and are free to say so.

Ah, I see. I should have waited an appropriate amount of time and then it wouldn’t have been offensive - in your opinion.
In the opinion of Cass, she thinks it’s about the age of the dead person that’s offensive.
In the opinion of Syl, it’s because the parents might read it.

We are offended by things in our own way.  No wonder it’s confusing to comedians or anybody that says something “edgy”...those people just don’t know who will be offended by what!

"Edgy" is just another word for "offensive. Why are you so proud of saying something so offensive? It's fine to be quirky, edgy, ditsy, and "dark", but don't use it as an excuse for saying offensive things.

Edgy is not another word for offensive. If that was the case, every time someone got edgy, you would be offended.
Have a think about it.

magica wrote:

Ben Reilly wrote:Okay, let me just say that my first thought when people said she wasn't sexually assaulted was of course she wasn't, look at her face.

I didn't say that, because obviously that's in really bad taste. It's far, far, FAR worse than what eddie said.

So am I better for just thinking that and not saying it? Or is it not the thought that counts?

Ben I get you want to stick up for Ed, and justify what she said, but surely you can see it wasn't nice and not justified.
I'm saying no more now, it's been done to death.

He has the same dark humour as me. It’s one of the things that first solidified our friendship. If you think he’d stick up for me just because we are married you have us all wrong.

I’d hate him if he did that, because it’s fake.

Ben Reilly wrote:Okay, let me just say that my first thought when people said she wasn't sexually assaulted was of course she wasn't, look at her face.

I didn't say that, because obviously that's in really bad taste. It's far, far, FAR worse than what eddie said.

So am I better for just thinking that and not saying it? Or is it not the thought that counts?

Oh dear...

Ben Reilly wrote:Okay, let me just say that my first thought when people said she wasn't sexually assaulted was of course she wasn't, look at her face.

I didn't say that, because obviously that's in really bad taste. It's far, far, FAR worse than what eddie said.

So am I better for just thinking that and not saying it? Or is it not the thought that counts?

I think you deserve each other.

Dark humour is pretty much a known thing between people who work in emergency services and the funeral business but its a kind of safety valve and is usually kept to those working in an immediate situation or the aftermath, its not shared generally with all an sundry because it would be seen as in poor taste by most people.
Edgy is another word for generally unacceptable but if you use 'edgy' it makes people feel its actually them that are out of touch of wrong.

Okay people are just assuming too much based on one joke.
I think that says a shit ton more about your “offence” than what you actually know of the people you have posted alongside for years.

If you think for one moment, that either Ben or I, are laughing at a girls death then I have no idea where your mind is at.

You may not find the joke funny but don’t make big assumptions because you don’t understand someone else’s humour. That’s like saying all comedians who make jokes about a subject condone or care little about the subject matter.

Moral posturing.

Good God.

Now I am done.

I don't think people are making big assumptions on one joke but on the flagrant ongoing defence of it, which most feel is poor taste.
Sorry Nicko I failed to mention the armed services also known for black humour in times of stress.

Let's give it a rest, shall we? It wasn't done to intentionally offend. Move on...

Apparently Nora as a name is making a comeback in 2019, originally a short form of Honora meaning honour, its always been popular in Ireland.

Original Quill wrote:Let's give it a rest, shall we?  It wasn't done to intentionally offend.  Move on...

Yeah you know something? My dad died of secondary liver cancer and once, I cooked a steak for my ex and he said “Woah, that steak looks a bit greyish”

I said. “Yeah, like my dad’s liver”

So I guess that would offend those who had suffered or knew someone who’d suffered from liver cancer, right?

Whatever. I’ll carry on being me. Looking up at those whose horses are higher than mine.

Ben Reilly wrote:Okay, let me just say that my first thought when people said she wasn't sexually assaulted was of course she wasn't, look at her face.

I didn't say that, because obviously that's in really bad taste. It's far, far, FAR worse than what eddie said.

So am I better for just thinking that and not saying it? Or is it not the thought that counts?

We all think things but don't say them, very often. It isn't noble or wise to utter every thought that comes to mind - the world wouldn't function if we did.

Eilzel wrote:

Ben Reilly wrote:Okay, let me just say that my first thought when people said she wasn't sexually assaulted was of course she wasn't, look at her face.

I didn't say that, because obviously that's in really bad taste. It's far, far, FAR worse than what eddie said.

So am I better for just thinking that and not saying it? Or is it not the thought that counts?

We all think things but don't say them, very often. It isn't noble or wise to utter every thought that comes to mind - the world wouldn't function if we did.

But isn't that just saying that the world runs on lies?

And how is that working out for everyone?

Eilzel wrote:

Ben Reilly wrote:Okay, let me just say that my first thought when people said she wasn't sexually assaulted was of course she wasn't, look at her face.

I didn't say that, because obviously that's in really bad taste. It's far, far, FAR worse than what eddie said.

So am I better for just thinking that and not saying it? Or is it not the thought that counts?

We all think things but don't say them, very often. It isn't noble or wise to utter every thought that comes to mind - the world wouldn't function if we did.

Says who? I mean the world ain’t working now, really, is it? Are you saying that hiding one’s opinions, or thoughts, is better than being a fake arse namby pamby? So some people may not like what you say....erm..big deal.

Ben Reilly wrote:

Eilzel wrote:

Ben Reilly wrote:Okay, let me just say that my first thought when people said she wasn't sexually assaulted was of course she wasn't, look at her face.

I didn't say that, because obviously that's in really bad taste. It's far, far, FAR worse than what eddie said.

So am I better for just thinking that and not saying it? Or is it not the thought that counts?

We all think things but don't say them, very often. It isn't noble or wise to utter every thought that comes to mind - the world wouldn't function if we did.

But isn't that just saying that the world runs on lies?

And how is that working out for everyone?

Not on lies, no.

The fact you two are equating 'not saying every thought that comes to mind' as lying, says there is a big misunderstanding here as to what literally everyone else sees but you two don't (though perhaps you actually do tbh).

If I listen to a customer tell me a story and I honestly believe they are exaggerating or lying, I'm not going to say 'rubbish' or anything to the same point, because there is no need and no good will come of it.

Likewise, if I meet a friend of a friend and think they look bad in their clothes, it isn't my place to say so.

If someone tells me of someone who died in some hilarious way, but they are deadly serious and sad, I'm not going to laugh in their face or joke on the matter, despite thinking it.

If I speak to a parent of a murdered child who says they wish hanging were brought back, despite my being opposed to the death penalty I won't bring it up THEN.

There is a time and place for certain things to be said is my point. That doesn't mean lying, lying is saying the OPPOSITE of the truth. This is about keeping certain things to yourself and having consideration.

Green from me Les !

Ben Reilly wrote:

Eilzel wrote:

We all think things but don't say them, very often. It isn't noble or wise to utter every thought that comes to mind - the world wouldn't function if we did.

But isn't that just saying that the world runs on lies?

And how is that working out for everyone?

No. Unspoken truths don't equate to 'lying'..

The essence of good joke telling is all in the timing...

eddie wrote:Okay people are just assuming too much based on one joke.
I think that says a shit ton more about your “offence” than what you actually know of the people you have posted alongside for years.

If you think for one moment, that either Ben or I, are laughing at a girls death then I have no idea where your mind is at.

You may not find the joke funny but don’t make big assumptions because you don’t understand someone else’s humour. That’s like saying all comedians who make jokes about a subject condone or care little about the subject matter.

Moral posturing.

Good God.

Now I am done.

As far as I can see, nobody thinks you're laughing at the girl's death and they've made that clear. That doesn't make your "joke" any better.

It's your defence of the "joke" which is now pretty offensive - you really think it was fine don't you? That's what the problem is for me.

one of my dad's episodes (cant remember which one) and dad was asleep and we were all round his bed and the doctor was saying ''we don't think there is much damage done to his brain'' to which my brother replied ''well to be fair, it would be very hard to tell'' at which point we all fell about laughing and dad woke up with a jump an just beamed round at us all and promptly fell back to sleep.

there were many funny episodes when hubby was ill and many a dark joke told.

both ben's and eddie's comments were dark and nasty (the sort of thing you'd hear from frankie boyle)

and i laughed at both of them

shame on me

whilst everyone is busy castigating them i'd just like to remind y'all that both ben and eddie have hearts that are really too big for their bodies

that is all

gelico wrote:one of my dad's episodes (cant remember which one) and dad was asleep and we were all round his bed and the doctor was saying ''we don't think there is much damage done to his brain'' to which my brother replied ''well to be fair, it would be very hard to tell'' at which point we all fell about laughing and dad woke up with a jump an just beamed round at us all and promptly fell back to sleep.

there were many funny episodes when hubby was ill and many a dark joke told.

both ben's and eddie's comments were dark and nasty (the sort of thing you'd hear from frankie boyle)

and i laughed at both of them

shame on me

whilst everyone is busy castigating them i'd just like to remind y'all that both ben and eddie have hearts that are really too big for their bodies

that is all

Thanks, gels. You got us much more quickly than most people do.

Ben Reilly wrote:

gelico wrote:one of my dad's episodes (cant remember which one) and dad was asleep and we were all round his bed and the doctor was saying ''we don't think there is much damage done to his brain'' to which my brother replied ''well to be fair, it would be very hard to tell'' at which point we all fell about laughing and dad woke up with a jump an just beamed round at us all and promptly fell back to sleep.

there were many funny episodes when hubby was ill and many a dark joke told.

both ben's and eddie's comments were dark and nasty (the sort of thing you'd hear from frankie boyle)

and i laughed at both of them

shame on me

whilst everyone is busy castigating them i'd just like to remind y'all that both ben and eddie have hearts that are really too big for their bodies

that is all

Thanks, gels. You got us much more quickly than most people do.

Are you going to respond to my points above that show you completely missing where others are coming from?

Gelico that was amongst your family, where presumably everyone understood the humour, would you have laughed at such a comment made by a member of another family grouped around a patient that you didn't know?

Vintage wrote:Gelico that was amongst your family, where presumably everyone understood the humour, would you have laughed at such a comment made by a member of another family grouped around a patient that you didn't know?

I disagree. I was witness to such a comment. A friend of mine in the Bronx, in NYC, is the son of an immigrant from Reggio di Calabria, the city on the tip of the toe of Italy. Calabrians are known for being exceedingly thick-headed and stubborn.

My friend's father was in the yard one day when a bolt of lighting hit a tree limb, and the limb came crashing down on the father's head.

Everyone rushed to his aid. But my friend said, Ehh...he's fine. He's a Calabrian…it hit him on the head. They all laughed. I’m not family, but I laughed out loud with the rest.

Vintage wrote:Gelico that was amongst your family, where presumably everyone understood the humour, would you have laughed at such a comment made by a member of another family grouped around a patient that you didn't know?

well, yes, if i overheard some other family joking with their relative and i found it funny then i suspect i would laugh.

bad shit always happens - humour responses to bad shit will always vary and sometimes doesn't seemfunny at all. it's entirely subjective after all

the point is i have so often laughed at inappropriate, nasty even revolting comments and have definitely made a few myself that i can't in all honesty start having a pop at someone else for doing exactly the same thing

The point is that the joke wasn't a family joke. Joking about "bad shit" is one thing if it affects you, but making a joke based on someone else's loss is another thing entirely

Raggamuffin wrote:The point is that the joke wasn't a family joke. Joking about "bad shit" is one thing if it affects you, but making a joke based on someone else's loss is another thing entirely

i have though, just one example is when i was out in the smoking area at lunch time in a care home and one of my colleagues was crying and was really upset about a whole load of shit happening in her life. her mum had recently died, her dad was going downhill and she was really worried about him, her son had left home after a row and wasn;t talking to her and on top of that she found out her husband was having an affair

i let her ramble on for about 10 minutes and then just shrugged and smiled and said, ''oh well, it's your own fault if you can't take a joke'', which must have made me sound like about the worst person in the universe.

it was just fortunate i suppose that she seemed to find that remark really funny. i have no idea why but she did

it's a gamble either way but i dont think that making the odd nasty remark actually makes you a bad person, cos i'm really quite happy with who i am

Family friends, colleagues its a bit different to having a joke at total strangers.

Of course it's not very likely that Nora's parents would read this forum, but it's not impossible as it's a public forum. They're pissed off with the speculation surrounding Nora's death, so they may well be looking at the internet to see what's being said. If they did read that "joke" how do you think they would feel?

Vintage wrote:Family friends, colleagues its a bit different to having a joke at total strangers.

she was a stranger to me. i only knew she was a colleague was because she had on the same uniform.

i have no idea why she chose to unburden herself to me

i guess anyone would have done, but all she got from me was a snarky comment

she still found it funny though

Original Quill wrote:

Vintage wrote:Gelico that was amongst your family, where presumably everyone understood the humour, would you have laughed at such a comment made by a member of another family grouped around a patient that you didn't know?

I disagree.  I was witness to such a comment.  A friend of mine in the Bronx, in NYC, is the son of an immigrant from Reggio di Calabria, the city on the tip of the toe of Italy.  Calabrians are known for being exceedingly thick-headed and stubborn.

My friend's father was in the yard one day when a bolt of lighting hit a tree limb, and the limb came crashing down on the father's head.

Everyone rushed to his aid.  But my friend said, Ehh...he's fine.  He's a Calabrian…it hit him on the head.  They all laughed.  I’m not family, but I laughed out loud with the rest.

I would’ve laughed too. I like out-there humour. I also like people who like a joke that’s considered “dark” - to me, it’s like they’re more real, somehow.

Oh well, humour is objective, like art or music.

Yes, but the joke was made by the chap's son, so it's different.

Eilzel wrote:

Ben Reilly wrote:

Eilzel wrote:

Ben Reilly wrote:Okay, let me just say that my first thought when people said she wasn't sexually assaulted was of course she wasn't, look at her face.

I didn't say that, because obviously that's in really bad taste. It's far, far, FAR worse than what eddie said.

So am I better for just thinking that and not saying it? Or is it not the thought that counts?

We all think things but don't say them, very often. It isn't noble or wise to utter every thought that comes to mind - the world wouldn't function if we did.

But isn't that just saying that the world runs on lies?

And how is that working out for everyone?

Not on lies, no.

The fact you two are equating 'not saying every thought that comes to mind' as lying, says there is a big misunderstanding here as to what literally everyone else sees but you two don't (though perhaps you actually do tbh).

If I listen to a customer tell me a story and I honestly believe they are exaggerating or lying, I'm not going to say 'rubbish' or anything to the same point, because there is no need and no good will come of it.

Likewise, if I meet a friend of a friend and think they look bad in their clothes, it isn't my place to say so.

If someone tells me of someone who died in some hilarious way, but they are deadly serious and sad, I'm not going to laugh in their face or joke on the matter, despite thinking it.

If I speak to a parent of a murdered child who says they wish hanging were brought back, despite my being opposed to the death penalty I won't bring it up THEN.

There is a time and place for certain things to be said is my point. That doesn't mean lying, lying is saying the OPPOSITE of the truth. This is about keeping certain things to yourself and having consideration.

I wasn't really talking about blurting out the first thing that pops into your head -- it's fine to hold onto the truth until a good time arrives to deliver it.

But far too often, the truth goes unsaid, and I think that leads to far more problems than it solves.

What if an American president got a call from the leaders of Israel and Palestine, asking him to negotiate a peace between them, and he instead said, "Sorry, no. Any lasting peace between the two of you can't involve a third party -- and as you're all adults, you should be ashamed you had to ask someone else to fix your problem"?

I think the problem might finally get fixed that way. It might at least make them think about their own responsibility for the conflict.