I'm comin' to England, ain't I?

So yeah, I've deigned to class up your soggy little island with my brilliance, and I want some advice from our right-wing members:

* Where do I go to take photos and prove that no-go zones are a myth?

* Where will I get stabbed by a black person? Because I definitely want to go there.

* Do you want to fight me? Or at least get drunk?

Bring an umbrella. It’s about to get soggier.
Oh, and bring a burka.

Ben Mothafuckin' Reilly wrote:So yeah, I've deigned to class up your soggy little island with my brilliance, and I want some advice from our right-wing members:

* Where do I go to take photos and prove that no-go zones are a myth?

The booking desk of your local police department can take care of that for you.  Just smash a window or something an' it's free.

Ben wrote:* Where will I get stabbed by a black person? Because I definitely want to go there.

Try the London east end.  Very popular for people and knife fights.

Ben wrote:* Do you want to fight me? Or at least get drunk?

All Brits are ready for a drink.  If you shout those very words outside the Raven Pub, you'll draw a crowd like fruit flies.

And,  Benny has to remember to be on his best behaviour while visiting the ol' Blighty...

Have to remember that those members like Victor, nicko and Fred might have access to guns,  even if it is Britain..      

Ben Mothafuckin' Reilly wrote:So yeah, I've deigned to class up your soggy little island with my brilliance, and I want some advice from our right-wing members:

* Where do I go to take photos and prove that no-go zones are a myth?

* Where will I get stabbed by a black person? Because I definitely want to go there.

* Do you want to fight me? Or at least get drunk?

Have you been before?

Have a great trip.....I'm sure us Brits will make you very welcome. x

Ben Mothafuckin' Reilly wrote:So yeah, I've deigned to class up your soggy little island with my brilliance, and I want some advice from our right-wing members:

* Where do I go to take photos and prove that no-go zones are a myth?

* Where will I get stabbed by a black person? Because I definitely want to go there.

* Do you want to fight me? Or at least get drunk?

Glad you are coming to Blighty



No go zones?

Well dont get dragged around Oxford Street shopping for one, by Eddie. That is defo a no go zone for a bloke.

You are unlikely to get stabbed there, but will get pushed and shoved around alot if you venture onto the London Underground.

What Eddie should do , is arrange to get your football tickets to a Premier League game. That is a must you should do when here.

Hit the Sports Bar in Leicester Square..

Oh and spend some time with Eddie also, if you have anytime left over.   

And visit a country pub, one where a log fire is burning and you can find a nice cosy corner to sit and talk, face to face, looking into each others eyes, getting slowly merry....Ahhhhh,

Go for a curry at 'Lahores' near the Aldgate end of Commercial road... it's where a lot of Indians go to eat... cheap but proper decent authentic grub... you have to take your own booze into there if you want an alcoholic drink...

Or if you want a curry that is a bit more 'fine dining' then go to 'spicemaster restaurant' which is close by, near 'Tower Gateway DLR station'...!


The comedy club 'Up the creek' in Greenwich is good... there is a Wetherspoons pub directly opposite for great cheap ales, and plenty of places to eat nearby... lots of trendy shops and market in the daytime too... plus huge park if the weathers nice, and that is where the observatory is too... plus right near Blackheath where there are loads of shops bars & restaurants too...


The 'Cutty Sark' ship is also in drydock at Greenwich... plus lots of street performers there... you can also get a riverboat ride up the Thames into centre of London from there...

Sorry... not spicemaster... i meant this one...


https://www.cafespice.co.uk/

Yeah that’s one of the first things he wants actually, an authentic Indian curry. No proper Indian food in Texas.


@Veya, we will be opening your fine whiskey

Lahore kebab house - 138 Commercial Road, E1 1PY

Hope you have Fun, Even if it is dreary old England 

The weather may be dreary (at present) but the people are great.

It's not dreary all the time Veya, we do have seasons here, "they do get mixed up sometimes" but on the whole I love the changes. Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter. In Aussie land you know what you'll get weeks in advance, baking Sun and Brown grass is not what I look forward to. I know it's not the same everywhere in Australia, but I prefer the variety

Britain in spring and early summer (which is now) is beautiful. It's when those gorgeous English gardens bloom. And I actually got a tan in Scotland around this time.

Original Quill wrote:Britain in spring and early summer (which is now) is beautiful.  It's when those gorgeous English gardens bloom.  And I actually got a tan in Scotland around this time.

Quill, on Wednesday we sat out at a sheltered table at a café, the sun was out for 20 minutes, I have a suntan on my face....an hour later it was snowing and raining.
Diversity or what?

It's raining here lol.

Ben its worth a visit to Tower of London, I love that place.

I don't know what part of England you're coming too but London City is worth a look.

Come to B,ham, walk down Ladypool Rd, there's a dozen places that do Balti's. It's known as the Balti capital of Britain.

Ben Mothafuckin' Reilly wrote:So yeah, I've deigned to class up your soggy little island with my brilliance, and I want some advice from our right-wing members:

* Where do I go to take photos and prove that no-go zones are a myth?

* Where will I get stabbed by a black person? Because I definitely want to go there.

* Do you want to fight me? Or at least get drunk?

Stone Henge

Ben Mothafuckin' Reilly wrote:So yeah, I've deigned to class up your soggy little island with my brilliance, and I want some advice from our right-wing members:

* Where do I go to take photos and prove that no-go zones are a myth?

* Where will I get stabbed by a black person? Because I definitely want to go there.

* Do you want to fight me? Or at least get drunk?

Moss Side, Manchester, 2am in the morning. You might get shot but what the hell.

I take it you're visiting London. It has beautiful parts but isn't the city it once was. Way too crowded now and hectic. Check out Portobello Market and visit Kensington Gardens where you can feed the sparrows from your hands. Visit Camden Passage, tucked behind Upper Street in Islington if you like quirky shops and cafes. While you're there visit Chin Chin Labs’ liquid nitrogen ice cream parlour. And one of my fav places when I used to visit my brother is WA Cafe on Ealing Broadway, Japanese cakes and patisserie.

There are some amazing pubs in London. Go on a crawl.

He arrived safely at 8:30am this morning.

I don’t live in London but in the green belt area not far from the underground, so yes, we are definitely going to London for the day and night at least. There are a couple of places mentioned in our book so I’ll definitely take him there.

My crazy Irish best friend is throwing an Alice In Wonderland themed birthday party for her daughter tomorrow (her daughter and mine are best freinds) so I’ll be dragging him to that Hahahahahahahaha.

When all the boring mums go home that’s when we get a little crazy...

Buhguh.

Try Mcdonalds for one of those...!

Could be jet lag?

Syl wrote:

Could be jet lag?

Yep. He’d just woken up after a nap where he spoke of very strange things whilst he slept.

I haven't been here long but everyone has just been fantastic and it's really pretty here. And of course, edds has been the best hostess you could ever ask for.

Ben Mothafuckin' Reilly wrote:I haven't been here long but everyone has just been fantastic and it's really pretty here. And of course, edds has been the best hostess you could ever ask for.

I'm really glad that you are enjoying yourself here in England Ben...!


Have you had a curry yet?

No, it's all gone to shit and I'm on an early flight back to Texas in the morning. We had a huge fight, both of us very drunk, and I ended up stripping down naked and running out into the cold, to prove my love for her, right? And she just laughed at me, so fuck this shit.

Ben Mothafuckin' Reilly wrote:No, it's all gone to shit and I'm on an early flight back to Texas in the morning. We had a huge fight, both of us very drunk, and I ended up stripping down naked and running out into the cold, to prove my love for her, right? And she just laughed at me, so fuck this shit.

Well, do not take the jam jars with you. I’m serious.

But do leave those Futerama underpants.

Fuck you.

eddie wrote:

Ben Mothafuckin' Reilly wrote:No, it's all gone to shit and I'm on an early flight back to Texas in the morning. We had a huge fight, both of us very drunk, and I ended up stripping down naked and running out into the cold, to prove my love for her, right? And she just laughed at me, so fuck this shit.

Well, do not take the jam jars with you. I’m serious.

But do leave those Futerama underpants.

Fuck you.

FUCK YOU!!!!!!

Ben Mothafuckin' Reilly wrote:No, it's all gone to shit and I'm on an early flight back to Texas in the morning. We had a huge fight, both of us very drunk, and I ended up stripping down naked and running out into the cold, to prove my love for her, right? And she just laughed at me, so fuck this shit.

Maybe if it hadnt been so cold when you stripped naked she wouldn't have laughed.

Syl wrote:

Ben Mothafuckin' Reilly wrote:No, it's all gone to shit and I'm on an early flight back to Texas in the morning. We had a huge fight, both of us very drunk, and I ended up stripping down naked and running out into the cold, to prove my love for her, right? And she just laughed at me, so fuck this shit.

Maybe if it hadnt been so cold when you stripped naked she wouldn't have laughed.

Not gonna lie, there was some serious acorn action going on.

Ben Mothafuckin' Reilly wrote:

Syl wrote:

Maybe if it hadnt been so cold when you stripped naked she wouldn't have laughed.

Not gonna lie, there was some serious acorn action going on.

Its set to get a bit warmer here this week...so keep your pecker up.

If this is a joke it's not funny ! April fool? Fake news? Whatever it is it's not the actions of adults.

nicko wrote: If this is a joke it's not funny ! April fool?    Fake news?     Whatever it is it's not the actions of adults.

Dude, don't get your panties in a wad -- I really am here (lovely weather for the ducks!) and the only fake news was the staged argument.

Ben Mothafuckin' Reilly wrote:

nicko wrote: If this is a joke it's not funny ! April fool?    Fake news?     Whatever it is it's not the actions of adults.

Dude, don't get your panties in a wad -- I really am here (lovely weather for the ducks!) and the only fake news was the staged argument.

Although he did actually run outside naked with a jam jar.

Tommy Monk wrote:

Ben Mothafuckin' Reilly wrote:I haven't been here long but everyone has just been fantastic and it's really pretty here. And of course, edds has been the best hostess you could ever ask for.

I'm really glad that you are enjoying yourself here in England Ben...!


Have you had a curry yet?

?

Tommy Monk wrote:

Tommy Monk wrote:

Ben Mothafuckin' Reilly wrote:I haven't been here long but everyone has just been fantastic and it's really pretty here. And of course, edds has been the best hostess you could ever ask for.

I'm really glad that you are enjoying yourself here in England Ben...!


Have you had a curry yet?

?

No, but the McDonalds, KFC and Dominos have been wonderful!

And also dirty, greasy kebabs. Yeah baby....all the fat dripping down your chin.

Rank!

eddie wrote:And also dirty, greasy kebabs. Yeah baby....all the fat dripping down your chin.

If you are avoiding the kitchen (and it sounds like you are) find a proper chippy.....nothing like good old fashioned fish and chips eaten out of the newspaper (well its greaseproof paper nowadays) salt and lots of vinegar, as you stroll back home....best takeaway ever.

Also go to Manzies for pie, mash and liquor. I love it as they do soya pies, they have for ages yeah.

Syl wrote:

eddie wrote:And also dirty, greasy kebabs. Yeah baby....all the fat dripping down your chin.

If you are avoiding the kitchen (and it sounds like you are) find a proper chippy.....nothing like good old fashioned fish and chips eaten out of the newspaper (well its greaseproof paper nowadays) salt and lots of vinegar, as you stroll back home....best takeaway ever.

Somehow, fish and chips don't taste the same now, vinegar too weak and without the newspaper, must be the printers ink ? Still good up north I'm told, don't know about the London area, don't eat fish now anyway. It used to be so difficult to pass a good fish and chip shop the smell was delicious, even if we only used to get scrumps.

Vintage wrote:

Syl wrote:
If you are avoiding the kitchen (and it sounds like you are) find a proper chippy.....nothing like good old fashioned fish and chips eaten out of the newspaper (well its greaseproof paper nowadays) salt and lots of vinegar, as you stroll back home....best takeaway ever.

Somehow, fish and chips don't taste the same now, vinegar too weak and without the newspaper, must be the printers ink ? Still good up north I'm told, don't know about the London area, don't eat fish now anyway. It used to be so difficult to pass a good fish and chip shop the smell was delicious, even if we only used to get scrumps.

Newsprint soaks up the oil. That's the original idea of using it. The "greaseproof paper" defeats the whole purpose.

Vintage wrote:

Syl wrote:
If you are avoiding the kitchen (and it sounds like you are) find a proper chippy.....nothing like good old fashioned fish and chips eaten out of the newspaper (well its greaseproof paper nowadays) salt and lots of vinegar, as you stroll back home....best takeaway ever.

Somehow, fish and chips don't taste the same now, vinegar too weak and without the newspaper, must be the printers ink ? Still good up north I'm told, don't know about the London area, don't eat fish now anyway. It used to be so difficult to pass a good fish and chip shop the smell was delicious, even if we only used to get scrumps.

If you can find a good chippy they are still good Vintage.
Chinese chippys never taste the same as the old Brit fish and chip chops, but we have one in Wales, huge fresh fish and proper thick cut chips, the vinegars good too. 
We eat them overlooking the sea if its a warm night....heaven.

Oh. I was going to serve up pork scratchings as a treat.

Guys, so far she's cooked up a wonderful lasagna and a fantastic steak, along with inventing an all time awesome snack. I've been well taken care of

eddie wrote:Oh. I was going to serve up pork scratchings as a treat.

Tell him to suck them first. The last bag I had almost broke my teeth they were that hard.

Ben Mothafuckin' Reilly wrote:Guys, so far she's cooked up a wonderful lasagna and a fantastic steak, along with inventing an all time awesome snack. I've been well taken care of

You deserve it dude.