Eloquent insults

Let's take these as inspiration to up our game, everyone! :D

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” — Winston Churchill”

A modest little person, with much to be modest about.” — Winston Churchill

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” — Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” — William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

“Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?” — Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I’ll waste no time reading it.” — Moses Hadas

“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.” — Abraham Lincoln

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” — Groucho Marx

“If your brains were dynamite there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.” – Timequake, Kurt Vonnegut

“I desire that we be better strangers.” - As You Like It, William Shakespeare

“In my mind, Martha, you are buried in cement right up to your neck. No… right up to your nose… that’s much quieter.” - Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf, Edward Albee

They made me giggle lol.

A half-wit gave you a piece of his mind, and you held on to it.

I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission!

Judging by the old saying, "What you don't know can't hurt you," he's practically invulnerable.

Keep talking. I always yawn when I'm interested.

You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else.
Winston Churchill

Catman wrote:You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else.
Winston Churchill

Ow, that stings lol

Don't get insulted, but is your job devoted to spreading ignorance?

Just to be clear, nobody who uses insults matching the eloquence of the ones listed above will be subject to any moderation :D

Sassy wrote:Don't get insulted, but is your job devoted to spreading ignorance?

Who said that?

I don't know, heard it and liked it lol

Ben_Reilly wrote:Just to be clear, nobody who uses insults matching the eloquence of the ones listed above will be subject to any moderation :D

    

Ben_Reilly wrote:Just to be clear, nobody who uses insults matching the eloquence of the ones listed above will be subject to any moderation :D

Bless your heart

You must be the arithmetic man; you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance.

I wish I'd known you when you were alive

I’ve seen people like you before – but I had to pay an admission.

I hope you inherit a hotel with a thousand bedrooms




And your found dead in every one

Michael Jackson’s album was called Bad because there wasn’t enough room on the sleeve for Pathetic.” Prince

If only Life was as Easy as You

I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

W. C. Fields

You are living proof of reincarnation. No one could possibly get to be so stupid in just one lifetime

American car bumper sticker. ' my fenders bent , I'm NOT'

“I could dance with you till the cows come home. Better still, I'll dance with the cows and you come home."

groucho marx

You have an inferiority complex -- and it's fully justified

many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage shakespeare.

Ordinarily people live and learn, but you, you just live

The hand inside that pink and fluffy glove holds an icepick to stick in your back.

Would you like some cheese to go with that whine?

feelthelove wrote:Would you like some cheese to go with that whine?

How long did it take you to come up with that one? ::happ:: 

There is no vaccine against stupidity

(In the performance review of an old British army commander)

"His men would follow him anywhere -- if only out of curiosity ..."

He's better at sex than anyone. Now all he needs is a partner

Dame Edna Everage: Now it's wonderful to see so many new faces in the audience tonight, because I *will* be using some old material tonight.... Looking at the wardrobe choices of those of you in the cheaper seats, it looks like *you're* using some old material too....

I would love to see things from your point of view but I cant get my head that far up my arse

What's on your mind? If you'll forgive the overstatement.

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." - Thomas Brackett Reed

Love this one:

"The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation, but not the power of speech." - George Bernard Shaw

I had half a mind to join the national front and apparently that's all you need.

I know you always have your ear to the ground. How's life in the gutter?

you will take that as a compliment, how clumsy of me..

Whatever it is that is eating you, it must be suffering horribly  :D 

I would love to insult you, but Im afraid I wouldnt do as well as nature did

throwing acid is wrong, in some peoples eyes..

Obsession is the single most wasteful human activity, because with an obsession you keep coming back and back and back to the same question and never get an answer.
Norman Mailer

He is given to fornications, and to taverns, and sack, and wine, and metheglins and to drinkings, and swearings, and starings, pribbles and prabbles...


Shakespeare
Merry Wives of Windsor

To a bitch, the only person in the world of any importance is herself

Fred Moletrousers wrote:He is given to fornications, and to taverns, and sack, and wine, and metheglins and to drinkings, and swearings, and starings, pribbles and prabbles...


Shakespeare
Merry Wives of Windsor

Ah, insults about drunks lol

I never realised she drank, until one day she stopped for an hour and it became obvious why she needed to.

Beneath that soft, feminine exterior beats the heart of an assassin, who would stab you in the back with one hand, while hugging you with the other.

When someone wants to be seen as the nice one, the pacifier, the gentle, kind and fragrant one, and doesn't get their way, they will happily tread on and manipulate anyone , wafting perfume as they do it.   And no-one will realise, it is always all about them.

Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

 :<:i}: 

Cass wrote:Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

 :<:i}: 

I like that one.

Along the lines of: If you are going to be a prick, dress correctly and wear a condom.

Sassy wrote:

Cass wrote:Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

 :<:i}: 

I like that one.

Along the lines of:   If you are going to be a prick, dress correctly and wear a condom.

true or this one:

Your family tree is a cactus, cause everyone on it is a prick!



laters...finishing up at work and then going shopping....hubloodyrah