61 British Sentences That Will Confuse The F*** Out Of Everyone Else

1. “It’s not quite what I had in mind.” – What the bloody hell is this?
2. “That’s a bit off.” – I will never forgive you for what you just said.
3. “Oh yes, he’s a lot of fun.” – He’s an absolute nightmare.
4. “They’re fine once you get to know them.” – They’re arseholes.
5. “It rings a bell.” – I have no idea what you’re talking about.
6. “Fancy a drink?” – Fancy staying out until 3am and waking up with your face glued to a kebab?
7. “We’re going on a date.” — We’re getting pissed together.
8. “I got a bit tipsy last night.” – I drank 17 pints and then punched a police horse.
9. “Picnic” — Daytime piss-up.
10. “Barbecue” — Piss-up in the garden.
11. “It got a bit lively.” – The police were called.
12. “I’m doing Drynuary.” – I’ve stopped drinking during the day.
13. “I’m a bit tired.” – I’m hungover.
14. “I’m feeling a bit under the weather, to be honest.” – I have alcohol poisoning.
15. “I’m a tad poorly.” – Kill me.
16. “You look like you had fun last night!” – You look like you slept in a bin.
17. “It’s OK, we’ve not been here long either.” – We’ve been here for ages and we’ll never forgive you for keeping us waiting.
18. “Yes, it’s great, I love it.” – I am very dismayed by this haircut.
19. “Anyway, it was lovely to meet you.” – Please go away now.
20. “I’ll let you get on.” – Seriously mate, piss off.
21. “I might pop along.” – I’m probably not coming.
22. “I’ll see how I feel.” – I’m definitely not coming.
23. “I tried to call you.” – I let the phone ring twice and then hung up.
24. “It’s totally fine if you can’t make it.” – I don’t want you to come.
25. “It could be worse.” – No, it couldn’t.
26. “I’ll have a word with them about it.” – I’ll never mention this to them.
27. “It is what it is.” – I can’t be bothered to fix this thing, so stop complaining.
28. “Truth be told, I’m a little bit miffed.” – I’m going to stab someone.
29. “Want to have lunch together?” – Want to run to Greggs and back in the rain?
30. “It was OK, but I wouldn’t order it again.” – This meal was horrible, deeply disappointing, and shit.
31. “Did I give you enough cash?” – Give me my change. Now.
32. “With the greatest respect…” – I think you’re an idiot.
33. “Well, it can’t hurt, I suppose.” – You’re making a huge mistake.
34. “Maybe I’m not explaining it properly.” – I am explaining it properly, you’re just dim.
35. “I’m sorry you feel that way.” – It’s not my problem.
36. “It’s a step in the right direction.” – But it’s still rubbish.
37. “Very interesting.” – You’re talking bollocks.
38. “Don’t quote me on that.” – Don’t blame me if the vague, half-made-up information I just passed on backfires on you.
39. “It was working a minute ago.” – You’ve broken it.
40. “Don’t worry, it’s probably my fault.” – It’s definitely your fault.
41. “You should come over for dinner sometime.” – I will never invite you over for dinner.
42. “Ooh, I could get used to this!” – Something very faintly luxurious has just happened, e.g. being offered a cup of tea.
43. “Can you pop it in an email?” – Please stop talking.
44. “That’s a very good question.” – One that I don’t know the answer to.
45. “Can I borrow you for a second?” – You’re in deep shit.
46. “Now, don’t be alarmed, but…” – Be very, very alarmed.
47. “Let’s agree to disagree.” – I’m obviously right, but I’ve run out of things to say.
48. “Look, let’s just forget it.” – I will never, ever forget this.
49. “If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.” – I have no idea what to say about the crushing disappointment you’ve just experienced.
50. “Oh, hi! Sorry, I didn’t see you there.” – I was actively trying to avoid you.
51. “Well, that’s not quite what happened.” – Will your lies never end?
52. “There’s been a bit of a mix-up.” – I’ve ruined all of your plans and destroyed everything you hold dear.
53. “Only if you’re making one.” – Why yes, I desperately want a cup of tea.
54. “It’s up to you.” – You’d better pick the thing I want to do.
55. “Could do, I suppose.” – No.
56. “Sorry.” — I’m not sorry.
57. “I don’t mind.” – I do mind.
58. “It’s OK.” – It’s not OK.
59. “I’m fine.” – I’m fine.
60. “I’m fine.” – I’m furious.
61. “I’m fine!” – My whole life is in tatters. Please bring me a drink.


I think a lot of these may be universal.  

That was even funnier because they are so true.

Over half of those phrases are used in the same context down here,  as well...

I don't think they will be unique to any one English-speaking culture..

And this is why Aussie are far more honest, we use the both sets depending on severity.

British phrasing when it soft the right is almost Aussie phrasing which is when it is hard need to insert a few fucks and geranium or Dalmar or Mullakas depending on the regional dialect