Free Yourself and Others From Your Judgement...

This is a tricky one and it kinda blows my mind. In so much as purely by thinking about this I automatically go in to 'judging' my own thoughts & actions and those of others.... But something came up today that really got me thinking and I realised that when you practice 'non-judgement', you become so much more free. Let me try to explain (and I have a feeling that more will come out on this over the coming weeks and months because this topic is kinda like a can of worms in my brain)....

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When was the last time you made a judgement about yourself or someone else? I'll bet it has happened today.
We make judgements constantly throughout our waking hours based on our conditioning, our experiences, our faith and a whole host of other influences. Without us consciously thinking it, our brain makes decisions about things that are safe or unsafe, right or wrong, good or bad.

And sometimes, this is 'good' << *judgement*!

But sometimes, it's not. << *judgement*

We can get so caught up in judging our actions, what we are eating, how we are performing at work, how we don't have our shit together, how our bum looks big....
And we get caught up in judging other people's business...
He said this. She ate that. He is rude. She is an asshole. She's ambitious.

I myself have been guilty of this. I still am 'guilty' of it << *observation* ;-)

So what can we do about it? It's our conditioning, it's human nature. Well yep, it is. And I'm no expert but here's what I am working on....

1) Recognising when just to let something go

All too often I used to get drawn in to debates, discussions, disagreements because I (read: my ego) wanted to be right.

The point under debate was not going to change my life or the life of the person(s) I was debating with, even if we came to a common agreement.

So why bother? I am not saying that debate cannot be healthy. And I am not saying that debate can't be without judgement, because of course it can. But usually, it is not.

I am not saying that we all have to agree, or that I am not entitled to my opinions and you yours.

But sometimes, who cares?

2) Practice non-judgement

How? Bringing your awareness to a situation (also called mindfulness).

Becoming aware of when the brain is on auto-judgement allows you to pause, and bring some intention and attention to the moment. Ask yourself "is my brain making a judgement?", and "is there another way I could look at this?".
Soon enough this will be come a less-conscious act, you will find that you are learning about things, places & people with a different perspective. An interest, or disinterest, in agreement or in disagreement or with an open mind. But without judgement.

Non-judgement is a practice. So practise you must, if you wish to free yourself and others of your judgement.

http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/hanni-melnicenko/free-yourself-and-others-from-judgement_b_9479752.html


Very interesting as we are all guilty of judgement.

Yep we are all guilty of judging but I tell you what I have learned from a very young age: most shit don't matter and you're never going to change someone else's opnions or thoughts.

In fact, even though I may be guilty of judging, I am not guilty of harbouring grudges or hurts (real or imagined)
I forgive easily becasue most people are okay.

The problem with a lot of people is, they judge a whole person on one segment of their personally or one small opinion.
This happens on here constantly.

eddie wrote:Yep we are all guilty of judging but I tell you what I have learned from a very young age: most shit don't matter and you're never going to change someone else's opnions or thoughts.

In fact, even though I may be guilty of judging, I am not guilty of harbouring grudges or hurts (real or imagined)
I forgive easily becasue most people are okay.

The problem with a lot of people is, they judge a whole person on one segment of their personally or one small opinion.
This happens on here constantly.

People have and do change Eddie and I am living proof of that.

Once was religious.
Once was homophobic because of religion.
Once held regressive views that protected beliefs, that never should have had any protection (Victor helped influence me on allowing me to see sense there)

Me too didge, I've changed my views on a number of issues including religion too.

On judgement. I am judgemental, and do believe most people are (I could be wrong).

And yes I do judge people sometimes entirely based on a particular view they have, though I don't usually do that. For fair reasons I think I do write people off completely if they are seriously anti-gay. And I have no shame in doing so.

As to debates being meaningless ultimately. I have an alternative view. I enjoy them regardless of the outcome. Sure it doesn't really matter and sure they may get heated. I may even be pissed off by someones view I find objectionable. But whatever, I find them fascinating.

Eilzel wrote:Me too didge, I've changed my views on a number of issues including religion too.

On judgement. I am judgemental, and do believe most people are (I could be wrong).

And yes I do judge people sometimes entirely based on a particular view they have, though I don't usually do that. For fair reasons I think I do write people off completely if they are seriously anti-gay. And I have no shame in doing so.

As to debates being meaningless ultimately. I have an alternative view. I enjoy them regardless of the outcome. Sure it doesn't really matter and sure they may get heated. I may even be pissed off by someones view I find objectionable. But whatever, I find them fascinating.

Indeed Eilzel, and where even though I have come to my own conclusions, I think it would be dishonest to say there has not been influential people that have helped steer me onto the right paths by their reasoning.
I do like the idea though of stepping back trying not to be judgmental for a least a part of the day to see what its like

You are like eddie in that you really do not hold grudges with people

Not grudges no; but homophobes I will hate regardless, but that's not really a grudge I guess.

Not being overall judgemental is easy enough for me, when I do I find it is totally harmless