Jeremy Clarkson to become 'special adviser on transport' to David Cameron

Jeremy Clarkson has already found employment, just one week after he was sacked as the host of Top Gear by the BBC following a row with a show producer over catering arrangements.

The presenter appears to have sought favour in “fracas” supporter David Cameron, who is set to announce Clarkson’s new role in Westminster as his special adviser on transport.

Not only will Clarkson offer his expertise on road taxation and refining public transport, but he will also lead a new government initiative to improve the motoring etiquette of British drivers abroad.

“No-one understands the perils of driving through Argentina quite like Clarkson does,” a government insider close to the PM tells The Independent.

“He really is in a unique position to provide some much needed advice - especially ahead of his now re-scheduled Live dates with Richard Hammond and James May.”

It is thought Clarkson will also have a hand in the selection of Cameron’s transport as he hits the campaign trail ahead of the General Election in May.

If his past critiques are anything to go by, the host is expected to advise the PM against 4-seated convertibles, because “the only person who looked good in one was Adolf Hitler”, or the BMW Z3, a model he once said is only suited for the “clinically insane” who wake up and think, “I am an onion”.

“Nazis and root vegetables are not images the PM intends to project to the voting public,” the source quipped.

However, they declined to comment on speculation that Clarkson will personally chauffeur the PM around the British Isles in the run-up to the 7 May.

The Prime Minister apparently came up with the job after his 11-year-old daughter Nancy chained herself outside the BBC’s Broadcasting House in Portland Place, demanding that Director General Lord Tony Hall give Clarkson his job back

“It was raining and cold, and she was soaked through,” the source concludes. “David did what any parent would do in that situation – give Clarkson all the steak he could eat and a privileged position.”

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/jeremy-clarkson-to-become-special-advisor-on-transport-to-david-cameron-10146849.html?dkdk

Fuck a duck, how the rich and privileged grease each other palms. Anyone else who had been found guilty of punching someone at work would have been on the dole for years with no-one wanting to employ them. But hey, Cameron is used to criminals, after all, he employed Coulson.

This is a joke, yes? It is April 1st after all.

Well I certainly hope so Rags, but we will have to see if they own up to one. If they don't say it's a joke, and it's true, it's still a joke if you get my meaning.

Come on sassy you were caught out there, April Fool

Did you spot it? This story was an April Fool. Hope you enjoyed it.

it is an April fools sassy

http://www.itv.com/news/2015-04-01/april-fools-day-2015-the-best-jokes-and-pranks/


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3021095/April-Fool-s-Day-jokes-Clarkson-goes-green-Cowell-fiver-Leicester-University-named-Richard-III.html

personally I liked the left footed one

Hahahaha brilliant
I love the camel riding police

Nems wrote:Hahahaha brilliant
I love the camel riding police

there was one on FB this morning from university of Wisconsin saying librarians in the ILL (inter library loan) department would now deliver food from food trucks to people just like books.....I admit my first thought was how in the hell can they do that? ??? until the other shoe dropped and I was ya big doofus.

Cass wrote:

Nems wrote:Hahahaha brilliant
I love the camel riding police

there was one on FB this morning from university of Wisconsin saying librarians in the ILL (inter library loan) department would now deliver food from food trucks to people just like books.....I admit my first thought was how in the hell can they do that? ??? until the other shoe dropped and I was ya big doofus.

We had a great white in the Mersey!
http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/watch-amazing-footage-great-white-8957535

the bit about the steak gave it away fgs!