"Have a look at Microsoft's new army of unfeeling death machines"

Microsoft, the private vault where Bill Gates stores his immense fortune, used to have the inexhaustible defence of lawyers. Now they have the inexhaustible defence of robots. Literally robots. We are living in science fiction.

Manufactured by a company called Knightscope, the K5 security bots look like little rubbish bin pods on wheels embedded with tiny HD cameras. Alternatively, they look like proto-Daleks designed by Fisher-Price. They are terrifyingly useful. The K5s have GPS and 3D mapping functions, thermal imaging and night vision cameras, eye scanners, audio recorders, biological and chemical and radiation detectors, and can conduct behavioural analysis. They can scan car number plates and check if they're stolen and alert the police. They can see someone holding a gun and alert the police. They can even tell the weather.

And in the future, they're going to be equipped with tasers.

"How could this possibly go wrong?" you're wondering. Except no you're not, 'cos it's pretty friggin obvious.