His daughter bullied a cancer patient, but did his punishment go too far?

Dad Shaves His Daughter’s Hair For Bullying A Girl With Cancer And Pulling Off Her Wig

A father was extremely dissatisfied with his daughter’s reaction to some “stupid teenage ‘he said she said’ nonsense.”

As a consequence, he thought his daughter needed to be taught some manners. But some people online thought he went too far with his punishment…

One person said

“Your daughter is a bully because you are a bully.”

Regarding the incident, the father said the following:

“My ex-wife and I have a 16-year-old daughter together of which I have full custody (she has moved on with her new family)… My daughter recently got in trouble at school for making fun of a student that lost her hair from cancer treatment. Including pulling off her wig.”

“Apparently there is some pre-existing bad blood between the two of them, but I don’t think that even begins to excuse her behavior,” he wrote in a post that was later deleted.

Much more at the source: https://iheartintelligence.com/dad-shaves-his-daughters-hair-for-bullying-a-girl-with-cancer-and-pulling-off-her-wig/

I think if she was a little shit, and I assume she was as who bullies a person with cancer? - then he was absolutely correct.
Her parents had probably tried to punish her in other ways like taking away her phone etc, and that didn’t stop her being a shit.

Her hair will grow back. Let’s hope she grows some compassion with it.

The man is an idiot.

Not only is forcing the girl to have her head shaved a form of child abuse, posting his pathetic parenting methods online, no doubt hoping for appreciative comments from strangers, shows his concern is certainly not for his daughter.

No wonder she acted in a disgusting way....she has been taught by him.

That’s one way of looking at it, Syl.

Sometimes though, a short sharp lesson is needed. Sometimes that’s the only way especially if you’re dealing with a teen who’s becoming obnoxious and ruined.
It does say in the article that there “had been bad blood” between the girls.


Ps: I’m having to post on my phone because my iPad has gone spazzy so my posts are shorter than I’d prefer.

eddie wrote:Sometimes though, a short sharp lesson is needed. Sometimes that’s the only way especially if you’re dealing with a teen who’s becoming obnoxious and ruined.
It does say in the article that there “had been bad blood” between the girls.


Ps: I’m having to post on my phone because my iPad has gone spazzy so my posts are shorter than I’d prefer.

I know these stories make good topics for debate, but I have zero respect for parents who post this kind of story online.
The girl did a truly horrible thing, she deserved to be punished, it was a private affair between two teens and their parents, and should have been dealt with without a www audience.

I see your point but perhaps he wanted to make a point so that other parents felt brave enough to stand up and take strong action?

eddie wrote:I see your point but perhaps he wanted to make a point so that other parents felt brave enough to stand up and take strong action?

His actions were those of a bully, the daughters actions were those of a bully, hopefully other parents wont be swayed into acting like him.

Honestly, if my 16 year old acted in such a cruel way I would be wondering where she got her bullying ways from.

Syl wrote:

eddie wrote:I see your point but perhaps he wanted to make a point so that other parents felt brave enough to stand up and take strong action?

His actions were those of a bully, the daughters actions were those of a bully, hopefully other parents wont be swayed into acting like him.

Honestly, if my 16 year old acted in such a cruel way I would be wondering where she got her bullying ways from.

Her peers? It isn’t always the parents.

Did he bully his daughter though? How so?

By the time your child reaches 16, hopefully you have instilled by example basic charictaristics in them to make them responsible for their own behaviour.

I dont think bullying is copied at that age you either are a bully or you are not.

His punishment, and the way he posted it online, is the sort of parental behaviour that would fester resentment and mistrust in any kid, and it sounds like she needs all the guidance she can get right now.

There are a lot of ways to punish a 16 year old girl, this isn't one of them.

I understand what you’re saying, I think in most cases we have ‘moulded’ our children by the time they’re sixteen, but there are some cases where peers or just one’s own attitude, is not greatly affected by their parents. This might be one such case.

You keep sticking to this fact that the father is himself, a bully. What if he isn’t? Think about that for a moment. What if it’s just the fact that she’s just become precocious and has an attitude?
What would you think then, about his punishment?

The truth is that none of us can truly judge this father, or this daughter, because, as eddie sometimes points out, none of us were there. As I put it earlier, don't try to tell me how to cook a steak if you don't know how a steak is cooked.

There's too much we don't know about their situation. Is she normally a saintly kid who slipped up this one time? In that case, his punishment is probably over the top. But has he reached the end of his rope with her bad behavior? In that case, he may have had to take drastic action. We simply don't know, and ...

Neither does the dad! Because for all the decisive action he took, the fact that he posted it to social media shows that even he isn't sure he did the right thing, and wanted to know what other people think. Such is the world of the parent -- having to do something, so you do what you think is best, but you never really know if you could have handled it better.

As a side note, one thing this story brings up, maybe my favorite thing, is that this poor little teen cancer victim is also quite a little shit. She told the alleged bully that her boyfriend, who just happens to be Cancer Girl's ex, was just using her for sex. That's low, and I like that this story shows that just because you're a teenage cancer patient doesn't make you a hero -- no, she's a little shit.

Maybe the alleged bully had enough and reacted poorly. Maybe she's a vile bully. The only thing we can really learn from this story is that you can't judge someone's actions unless you understand their circumstances.

I don't know about the punishment, but I could see a girl, dumped by her mother for a new family, acting out.

Kids who are abandoned can get a little "messed up". I really don't have a sense of awareness about girls with "mommy" issues, but I do with girls that have "daddy" issues.

Anyway, this girl could be a little angry at the world, causing her to be a little shit.

Ben Reilly wrote:The truth is that none of us can truly judge this father, or this daughter, because, as eddie sometimes points out, none of us were there. As I put it earlier, don't try to tell me how to cook a steak if you don't know how a steak is cooked.

There's too much we don't know about their situation. Is she normally a saintly kid who slipped up this one time? In that case, his punishment is probably over the top. But has he reached the end of his rope with her bad behavior? In that case, he may have had to take drastic action. We simply don't know, and ...

Neither does the dad! Because for all the decisive action he took, the fact that he posted it to social media shows that even he isn't sure he did the right thing, and wanted to know what other people think. Such is the world of the parent -- having to do something, so you do what you think is best, but you never really know if you could have handled it better.

As a side note, one thing this story brings up, maybe my favorite thing, is that this poor little teen cancer victim is also quite a little shit. She told the alleged bully that her boyfriend, who just happens to be Cancer Girl's ex, was just using her for sex. That's low, and I like that this story shows that just because you're a teenage cancer patient doesn't make you a hero -- no, she's a little shit.

Maybe the alleged bully had enough and reacted poorly. Maybe she's a vile bully. The only thing we can really learn from this story is that you can't judge someone's actions unless you understand their circumstances.

Posting a problem like this online, and hoping for words of wisdom, is asking for trouble.

Your average know all social media participant is not a qualified therapist dealing with teenage angst, they could be a worse parent than the original poster.

I agree that just because some teen has cancer doesn't necessarily make her a nicer person than the kid sat next to her who has no health worries.

People, not only teens, will often go for the Achilles heel when they feel hurt, but there are limits, and dragging someone's wig off knowing she has lost her hair through cancer treatment is going way beyond those limits.

Maddog wrote:I don't know about the punishment, but I could see a girl, dumped by her mother for a new family, acting out.

Kids who are abandoned can get a little "messed up". I really don't have a sense of awareness about girls with "mommy" issues, but I do with girls that have "daddy" issues.

Anyway, this girl could be a little angry at the world, causing her to be a little shit.  

How do you know the girl was dumped?

It's unusual for the man to gain custody, and none of us know why this man has.
Maybe he bullied or threatened his ex, he could have forced her to give up custody, maybe his bullying didn't only involve his daughter....none of us know the circumstances.

What punishment would you have thought fitting in this situation?

eddie wrote:I understand what you’re saying, I think in most cases we have ‘moulded’ our children by the time they’re sixteen, but there are some cases where peers or just one’s own attitude, is not greatly affected by their parents. This might be one such case.

You keep sticking to this fact that the father is himself, a bully. What if he isn’t? Think about that for a moment. What if it’s just the fact that she’s just become precocious and has an attitude?
What would you think then, about his punishment?

OK, let's look at the actual facts.

Not only the  punishments he felt suitable, but the way he gave the girl a choice, even pointing out himself that he coerced her into choosing option 2...to have her hair shaved completely off.

Then look at the way he, not either of the girls, posted the whole story on social media, belittling both girls, (and his ex wife into the bargain) even divulging private info about the girl saying she is sexually active and he didn't know...that's no one else's business.

Is the girl in the OP link the actual girl in this story, or is it a model? IF it is the girl, to have her pose for a pic, trying to cover her shaved head with her hands, then  to splash the photo across his social media site, is unforgivable.

Personally I would have frogmarched her to the girl's house and made her issue a grovelling apology. And she would have been grounded, all privileges revoked for a month. Would I have shaved her head? No, but I might have threatened her with it. In this day and age kids need to be taught respect and compassion, and I don't believe this father is a bully. There is such a thing as kids who torment and bully other kids just for the hell of it. Often it's done for bravado or showing off and nothing more sinister.

Syl wrote:

Maddog wrote:I don't know about the punishment, but I could see a girl, dumped by her mother for a new family, acting out.

Kids who are abandoned can get a little "messed up". I really don't have a sense of awareness about girls with "mommy" issues, but I do with girls that have "daddy" issues.

Anyway, this girl could be a little angry at the world, causing her to be a little shit.  

How do you know the girl was dumped?

It's unusual for the man to gain custody, and none of us know why this man has.
Maybe he bullied or threatened his ex, he could have forced her to give up custody, maybe his bullying didn't only involve his daughter....none of us know the circumstances.

What punishment would you have thought fitting in this situation?

“My ex-wife and I have a 16-year-old daughter together of which I have full custody (she has moved on with her new family)


I would only shave half her head.


Actually, a little volunteering for a cancer group would probably be a good punishment.

Maddog wrote:

Syl wrote:

How do you know the girl was dumped?

It's unusual for the man to gain custody, and none of us know why this man has.
Maybe he bullied or threatened his ex, he could have forced her to give up custody, maybe his bullying didn't only involve his daughter....none of us know the circumstances.

What punishment would you have thought fitting in this situation?

“My ex-wife and I have a 16-year-old daughter together of which I have full custody (she has moved on with her new family)


I would only shave half her head.


Actually, a little volunteering for a cancer group would probably be a good punishment.  

There are two sides to every story....his ex has the good grace not to post her personal issues online.

I like your idea of a suitable punishment, it may teach the girl a lot more about empathy than waiting for her hair to grow back ever could.

HoratioTarr wrote:Personally I would have frogmarched her to the girl's house and made her issue a grovelling apology.   And she would have been grounded, all privileges revoked for a month.   Would I have shaved her head?   No, but I might have threatened her with it.   In this day and age kids need to be taught respect and compassion, and I don't believe this father is a bully.  There is such a thing as kids who torment and bully other kids just for the hell of it.  Often it's done for bravado or showing off and nothing more sinister.

At least that ^ has some educational effect. The father has two roles: 1) to teach; and 2) to discipline the child. Very often these two roles are confused.

Had the father been teaching his daughter compassion all along, she never would have lashed out at the victim in that way. Then, the father struck back at his daughter, but failed to convey the underlying principle.

In other words, he understands his punishment role, but completely misunderstands his guidance and teaching role.

Syl wrote:

Maddog wrote:


“My ex-wife and I have a 16-year-old daughter together of which I have full custody (she has moved on with her new family)


I would only shave half her head.


Actually, a little volunteering for a cancer group would probably be a good punishment.  

There are two sides to every story....his ex has the good grace not to post her personal issues online.

I like your idea of a suitable punishment, it may teach the girl a lot more about empathy than waiting for her hair to grow back ever could.

There's three sides to every story.

But in this case, that head shaving isn't going to happen with an engaged mother..

And if it does, there's an addendum where mom beats her ex with a ball bat.

Something strange about this whole story and/or family

I'm I big guy, and there is no way I could have shaved my daughters heads when they were 16. It would have been like shaving a bobcat in a phone booth.

Maddog wrote:

Syl wrote:

There are two sides to every story....his ex has the good grace not to post her personal issues online.

I like your idea of a suitable punishment, it may teach the girl a lot more about empathy than waiting for her hair to grow back ever could.

There's three sides to every story.

But in this case, that head shaving isn't going to happen with an engaged mother..

And if it does, there's an addendum where mom beats her ex with a ball bat.

Something strange about this whole story and/or family  

I'm I big guy, and there is no way I could have shaved my daughters heads when they were 16. It would have been like shaving a bobcat in a phone booth.

He sent her to the hairdressers, but the outcome is the same.

But that's the bottom line here, you are a dad with girls, you would not have done what he did.....you wouldn't have done it because it's wrong, no more to be said really.

Original Quill wrote:

HoratioTarr wrote:Personally I would have frogmarched her to the girl's house and made her issue a grovelling apology.   And she would have been grounded, all privileges revoked for a month.   Would I have shaved her head?   No, but I might have threatened her with it.   In this day and age kids need to be taught respect and compassion, and I don't believe this father is a bully.  There is such a thing as kids who torment and bully other kids just for the hell of it.  Often it's done for bravado or showing off and nothing more sinister.

At least that ^ has some educational effect.  The father has two roles: 1) to teach; and 2) to discipline the child.  Very often these two roles are confused.

Had the father been teaching his daughter compassion all along, she never would have lashed out at the victim in that way.  Then, the father struck back at his daughter, but failed to convey the underlying principle.

In other words, he understands his punishment role, but completely misunderstands his guidance and teaching role.

Bullies don't necessarily come from broken homes or are bullied themselves.

We have preconceived notions of who bullies are and what their parents must be like. We assume that the parents of a bully must either be bullies themselves or negligent. But that is rarely the case.

https://justsayyes.org/bullying/could-my-child-be-a-bully/

Syl wrote:

Maddog wrote:

There's three sides to every story.

But in this case, that head shaving isn't going to happen with an engaged mother..

And if it does, there's an addendum where mom beats her ex with a ball bat.

Something strange about this whole story and/or family  

I'm I big guy, and there is no way I could have shaved my daughters heads when they were 16. It would have been like shaving a bobcat in a phone booth.

He sent her to the hairdressers, but the outcome is the same.

But that's the bottom line here, you are a dad with girls, you would not have done what he did.....you wouldn't have done it because it's wrong, no more to be said really.

I went back and read the story.

So she wasn't forced to do anything.

If her mom was still in her life at all, she could have marched right over to mom's house and said that lunatic wants to shave my head.

At that point an involved mother says "over my dead body".

The girl is 16. She can live with either parent. There's something up with mom, or this story.

I'm sorta shocked that a hairdresser would even do that to her. She had to be bawling before it even started.

I tried to find other accounts of this story, there are none.
I actually think it could be false, a copycat version of a genuine case from 5 years ago.
A mother shaved her daughters hair off for bullying a cancer sufferer.
There is actual video of the mother shaving the kids head....which wasn't nice to see.

Syl wrote:I tried to find other accounts of this story, there are none.
I actually think it could be false, a copycat version of a genuine case from 5 years ago.
A mother shaved her daughters hair off for bullying a cancer sufferer.
There is actual video of the mother shaving the kids head....which wasn't nice to see.

Yeah, much of this story doesn't add up.

It seems invented to measure reaction. Almost like a psychology experiment being conducted on line.

Maddog wrote:

Syl wrote:I tried to find other accounts of this story, there are none.
I actually think it could be false, a copycat version of a genuine case from 5 years ago.
A mother shaved her daughters hair off for bullying a cancer sufferer.
There is actual video of the mother shaving the kids head....which wasn't nice to see.

Yeah, much of this story doesn't add up.

It seems invented to measure reaction. Almost like a psychology experiment being conducted on line.

Could be, it's always interesting to give opinions on topics like this.
Personally I found it a bit surprising that everyone didn't see this as child abuse.

You dont show or teach empathy by bullying.

I certainly understand how the father feels

However I would have approached this differently

I would have had her watch with me many videos of where family members have shaved off their hair. To show solidarity with a family member who has lost their hair due to treatment for cancer

I would have her watch with me inspirational stories of kids battling cancer. In order that she understands the struggles others are going through. That no matter what differences they had in the past. That she can turn a corner and rise above that from the past differences. To be in support now for this other girl. Yes kids say cruel things, but I would look to build bridges and have her meet the other family after this

Shaving off her hair is a poor negative reaction and a poor teaching method

As the child is not learning and may end up resenting more

I disagree with Syl that the father is a bully and learnt this bullying from the father. Its more likely due to a bad family split with the mother, that the kid is acting out. As you can see in the father that he is trying to do some good here, to correct a wrong, just his method is wrong also in trying to correct this

I would rather teach why its wrong and to build bridges and to even more help her understand that no matter what was said in the past and how she may feel anger, that anger is misspent

Didgee wrote:I certainly understand how the father feels

However I would have approached this differently

I would have had her watch with me many videos of where family members have shaved off their hair. To show solidarity with a family member who has lost their hair due to treatment for cancer

I would have her watch with me inspirational stories of kids battling cancer. In order that she understands the struggles others are going through. That no matter what differences they had in the past. That she can turn a corner and rise above that from the past differences. To be in support now for this other girl. Yes kids say cruel things, but I would look to build bridges and have her meet the other family after this

Shaving off her hair is a poor negative reaction and a poor teaching method

As the child is not learning and may end up resenting more

I disagree with Syl that the father is a bully and learnt this bullying from the father. Its more likely due to a bad family split with the mother, that the kid is acting out. As you can see in the father that he is trying to do some good here, to correct a wrong, just his method is wrong also in trying to correct this

I would rather teach why its wrong and to build bridges and to even more help her understand that no matter what was said in the past and how she may feel anger, that anger is misspent

It's unusual that the girl is living with her father, usually courts are in favour of the mother having custody.
We also don't know what the relationship is between mum and daughter now, but it's close enough for the mother to object strongly about how the father has treated the girl.
Odd also that he just went ahead with having the girls head shaved without consulting the mother....that sounds like very controlling behaviour to me, which is possibly how he ended up with full control of the daughter in the first place....just a thought, because obviously we are only hearing his version here, no one elses.

Didge, did we not have a discussion once about smacking children? You were quite strongly against any parent smacking a child as I recall, you found it to be nothing more than bullying, yet you don't think this man is a bully to have treated his daughter like this.
Seems to be a contradiction in your thinking somewhere.

No I do not think the father is a bully here and for the reasons I gave

I disagree with his methods as stated and offered a better approach

If she is with the father, there could be a mutiple of reasons

I do not class shaving the hair off as comprable to hitting a child

They are miles apart, where again I disagree with both methods

Where I disagree with you is on whether he is a bully

I believe its more likely she plays up due to the breakdown in her family

Its textbook

I disagree that one action is bullying and the other isn't.

I don't agree with hitting kids, but with a younger kid a short sharp slap on the leg can be done on impulse, it's not nice, but I can understand that better than a humiliating punishment that this dad has thought about  and planned. Well, two punishments in this case, he gave the girl the choice between 2 to make....that to me shows more of a controlling mind than one that acts impulsively, or one that wants to teach his child empathy and kindness.
And then the pièce de résistance , he posts the whole thing online for complete strangers to discuss.  

Yes, she possibly does play up because of the family breakdown. Maybe dad should include mum more in important decisions.

IF this is a genuine case (I actually doubt it is tbh) but if it is, and if the girl in the OP is the girl in question, she is already heavily  tattooed and pierced, she is sexually active, and she has a real nasty streak to act the way she has done...and she is still only 16.

HoratioTarr wrote:Personally I would have frogmarched her to the girl's house and made her issue a grovelling apology.   And she would have been grounded, all privileges revoked for a month.   Would I have shaved her head?   No, but I might have threatened her with it.   In this day and age kids need to be taught respect and compassion, and I don't believe this father is a bully.  There is such a thing as kids who torment and bully other kids just for the hell of it.  Often it's done for bravado or showing off and nothing more sinister.

Perhaps he’d tried all you have suggested. Perhaps he was at his wits end and had nowhere else to go.

I agree with you though. He’s not a “bully”.  We use that word with such abandon nowadays. It’s getting ridiculous. We sit here and judge him yet nobody has the sense to give him credit for having tried everything else. Perhaps she’s just a little bitch.

And let’s look at the photo she obviously posed for...she hardly looks distraught or like she’d been crying.

HoratioTarr wrote:

Original Quill wrote:

At least that ^ has some educational effect.  The father has two roles: 1) to teach; and 2) to discipline the child.  Very often these two roles are confused.

Had the father been teaching his daughter compassion all along, she never would have lashed out at the victim in that way.  Then, the father struck back at his daughter, but failed to convey the underlying principle.

In other words, he understands his punishment role, but completely misunderstands his guidance and teaching role.

Bullies don't necessarily come from broken homes or are bullied themselves.

We have preconceived notions of who bullies are and what their parents must be like. We assume that the parents of a bully must either be bullies themselves or negligent. But that is rarely the case.

https://justsayyes.org/bullying/could-my-child-be-a-bully/

you're very right,

years ago when my eldest boy was young he suffered eczema which could break out quite badly and one little kid in his class said a couple of horrible things which he told  me about and then on a school trip he came back and was upset cos when they sat down to eat this kid had remarked on my sons skin and insisted everyone move away from him otherwise they would catch it and look like him.  well they all did and left him on his own and the helpers at the table were busy yakking and didn;t even notice.  at that point i had enough and the following day went up after school to have a word with his mum.  it so happened that her kid was off sick that day and had nan looking after him so mum ws still at the school..  when i approached her about it she was mortified and really upset and apologetic and said she would have a word.  when i walked away one of the other mums approached me and asked about it and i told her she said ''i'm not surprised she's upset, i had to have a word with her myself last week''.  he 2 or 3 targets that he would go for and yet the mum worked at the school and she was the loveliest woman, i liked her.  i only hope he grew out of it evenntually but they moved away shortly after.

She may well have been lovely, but she wasn't really aware of how her son was acting, and tbh, she should have been.

I have known a couple of really nice women, good friends, who saw their kids through rose coloured specs. They would make excuses for them and always managed to blame other kids if there were any arguments or fights.

One example, when my son was about 10, he was playing out with his best friend at the time (his mum was one of the mums who thought her son was an angel) a knock came on the door, and another neighbour...a bit of a recluse, said my son and another boy had been throwing stones, and one had broken a window in her greenhouse.
I asked my son....he admitted they had both been throwing stones near her garden, they had run off away they realised a stone has smashed something.
The other lad had quickly joined in with a different set of kids (this was the days when kids actually played out) he denied he had heard anything smash.

Anyway, the outcome was we paid half for the window replacement, which came out of sons spends, the other mum refused, because she believed her boy couldn't have been throwing any stones.  This kid did go on to bully others when he went up to senior school, obviously his mum was unaware.
Selective blindness.

Syl wrote:She may well have been lovely, but she wasn't really aware of how her son was acting, and tbh, she should have been.

I have known a couple of really nice women, good friends, who saw their kids through rose coloured specs. They would make excuses for them and always managed to blame other kids if there were any arguments or fights.

One example, when my son was about 10, he was playing out with his best friend at the time (his mum was one of the mums who thought her son was an angel) a knock came on the door, and another neighbour...a bit of a recluse, said my son and another boy had been throwing stones, and one had broken a window in her greenhouse.
I asked my son....he admitted they had both been throwing stones near her garden, they had run off away they realised a stone has smashed something.
The other lad had quickly joined in with a different set of kids (this was the days when kids actually played out) he denied he had heard anything smash.

Anyway, the outcome was we paid half for the window replacement, which came out of sons spends, the other mum refused, because she believed her boy couldn't have been throwing any stones.  This kid did go on to bully others when he went up to senior school, obviously his mum was unaware.
Selective blindness.

yes, you would think but she didn't teach him at all and kind of was very busy doing her own thing within the school and because she was so bloody nice i think it made people feel awkward but then she got approached by 3 different mums in less than 2 weeks kind of devastated her. To be fair my son had no further issues, or at least nothing major so I assume she said something to him, and they left at the end of that term.

I agree with everything you say as well. The amount of mums i've heard say ''oh, i know my so and so it no angel but he/she never lies''. that one's common and I just think, oh fuck off and get a grip on reality of course they fucking lie. you know they're storing up problems for themselves but whatever.

my eldest bossman was about 7/8 when the local kids came running to tell me he had ''smashed up someone's car''
it turned out that a game of football was being had and the ball had bounced off of him and hit someone's car. therefore, it was my son's fault.

anyhoos i tracked down the owner and took my son up to his gaff to explain what had happened and told him ''i'm so sorry it appears that your windscreen has been cracked. it wasn't done deliberately but he was part of the game so i'm happy to contribute to any excess you have to pay to get it fixed''.

The bloke came trotting out to investigate the damage and looked baffled ''there's nothing wrong with the windscreen, what are you talking about'' he said

''yes, yes, right here'' said I, pointing to the right hand side wing mirror.

''you said windscreen''

''sorry i meant to say wing mirror''

he put his hand on his heart in relief and then said

''oh thank God for that, oh don't worry the wing mirror was already busted''




he was so appreciative that i'd even bothered to show my face though..

the other kids were too busy blaming and the parents too busy avoiding responsibility to bother actually knocking to apologise

i despair sometimes, syl

I know.
No kids are angels....wise mums know that.

One of the funniest (though not at the time) things my lad did...he had fell out with some neighbouring kid, they went from being mates to hating each other. One day it had been snowing, the lads had been arguing, son wrote, in really big letters, some very rude words in the snow outside his house....and I am talking of words I didn't even know he knew.

Unfortunately it was freezing, and the words were still there the next day when the dad (a copper) left for work. He came round and told me what my son had done....he was quite offended.
I made son take a bucket of hot water round with a brush and scrub the offending words off the neighbours drive.

We got to know the dad, he was a lovely man, and the kids ended up best friends again soon after.