All time high of 'Romance scams' since Covid19 hit.

Listening to a relationship counsellor talking on BBC radio this morning (sorry no link) apparently reported online romance scams have almost trebled over the last six months or so.
Lonely people with no contact to others looking for love, and online is the safest way now, or is it?
Her top tip was, as soon as finances are mentioned....log off and out.

Swipe left.

Are you talking from experience Maddog?

I know of a few online romances...Ben and Eddie are a real success story, other forum folk I know of who had a thing going ....not so lucky.
A friend of mine tried online dating after being widowed a few years before.
I wont say she was scammed but she came damn close.

The problem with online dating is...there is a record.

Someone gave me a 'dislike' just for starting the thread.

Maybe I touched a nerve.

Original Quill wrote:The problem with online dating is...there is a record.

A record? You mean in your internet history?
Well presumably no one would be using online dating services if they shouldn't be.

Syl wrote:Someone gave me a 'dislike' just for starting the thread.

Where?  I don't see...

Syl wrote:

Original Quill wrote:The problem with online dating is...there is a record.

A record? You mean in your internet history?
Well presumably no one would be using online dating services if they shouldn't be.

Well...they say anything posted on the internet will never go away.  That's what I'm referring to. If two people fall for each other on the internet, I expect they will keep everything said to one another in a separate file.

That could come back to haunt you.

Original Quill wrote:

Syl wrote:Someone gave me a 'dislike' just for starting the thread.

Where?  I don't see...

In the OP...down at the bottom.

Original Quill wrote:

Syl wrote:

A record? You mean in your internet history?
Well presumably no one would be using online dating services if they shouldn't be.

Well...they say anything posted on the internet will never go away.  That's what I'm referring to.  If two people fall for each other on the internet, I expect they will keep everything said to one another in a separate file.

That could come back to haunt you.

Well it could, but you could say the same about old fashioned love letters.

Syl wrote:

Original Quill wrote:

Where?  I don't see...

In the OP...down at the bottom.

There's nothing there on my screen.  It's blank.

Can one undo likes and dislikes?

Original Quill wrote:

Syl wrote:

In the OP...down at the bottom.

There's nothing there on my screen.  It's blank.

Dont you have LIKE/DISLIKE boxes at the bottom left hand side of each post Quill?

Syl wrote:

Original Quill wrote:

There's nothing there on my screen.  It's blank.

Dont you have LIKE/DISLIKE  boxes at the bottom left hand side of each post Quill?

Yes, I do. But someone has erased any like/dislike on the OP.

Oh, I get it. I see there is a '1' in the dislike box.

All I've gotten is, "______________ likes this post". Not a number.

Syl wrote:

Original Quill wrote:

There's nothing there on my screen.  It's blank.

Dont you have LIKE/DISLIKE  boxes at the bottom left hand side of each post Quill?

I gave you a like.

I wonder why it doesn't show the name of the cowardly disliker?

Syl wrote:Are you talking from experience Maddog?

I know of a few online romances...Ben and Eddie are a real success story,  other forum folk I know of who had a thing going ....not so lucky.
A friend of mine tried online dating after being widowed a few years before.
I wont say she was scammed but she came damn close.

Nah.

Just being snarky.

My ex met both of her husbands since me, on line, although Tinder is probably not a place to meet a spouse.

It worked half the time for her.

I know a lot of folks that have done well with online dating.

Two girls I rode with last night met on some online site. Forget which one.

Now that I think about it, with gay bars waning, and all bars being far less popular because of the Rona, online makes a lot of sense for gay people.

Maddog wrote:

Syl wrote:

Dont you have LIKE/DISLIKE  boxes at the bottom left hand side of each post Quill?

I gave you a like.

I wonder why it doesn't show the name of the cowardly disliker?

Thank you....oddly the dislike has gone now, maybe the like cancelled it out.

Yeah....the dislikes should name the disliker.....that would be fun.

Maddog wrote:

Syl wrote:Are you talking from experience Maddog?

I know of a few online romances...Ben and Eddie are a real success story,  other forum folk I know of who had a thing going ....not so lucky.
A friend of mine tried online dating after being widowed a few years before.
I wont say she was scammed but she came damn close.

Nah.

Just being snarky.

My ex met both of her husbands since me, on line, although Tinder is probably not a place to meet a spouse.  

It worked half the time for her.

I know a lot of folks that have done well with online dating.

Two girls I rode with last night met on some online site. Forget which one.

Now that I think about it, with gay bars waning, and all bars being far less popular because of the Rona, online makes a lot of sense for gay people.  

Not only for gay people.
Nightclubs have not reopened here ....pubs are shutting again, apart from work where is anyone going to meet anyone?

I read somewhere (  that even pre corona) online dating sites was now the most popular way to meet potential partners.

Syl wrote:

Maddog wrote:

Nah.

Just being snarky.

My ex met both of her husbands since me, on line, although Tinder is probably not a place to meet a spouse.  

It worked half the time for her.

I know a lot of folks that have done well with online dating.

Two girls I rode with last night met on some online site. Forget which one.

Now that I think about it, with gay bars waning, and all bars being far less popular because of the Rona, online makes a lot of sense for gay people.  

Not only for gay people.
Nightclubs have not reopened here ....pubs are shutting again, apart from work where is anyone going to meet anyone?

I read somewhere (  that even pre corona) online dating sites was now the most popular way to meet potential partners.

That's true, but I meet females doing other activities besides bars and such.

I was just musing about how it must be tougher for gay people now, as there isn't as many places where gay people congregate like their used to be.

I guess an unintended consequence of people not really giving a shit about who gets your motor running is the lack of gay centered activities or places they go to meet people.

It's tough for all of us now (the single scene is much weirder than 30 years ago), but probably more so for gay people, making the internet more important for them.

It gives everyone the ability to adjust search parameters to find people "like" you. While many of us can date people not completely like us, we need people who are attracted to our gender, or us theirs. It's much easier for me to find someone that meets that basic criteria.

Syl wrote:Are you talking from experience Maddog?

I know of a few online romances...Ben and Eddie are a real success story,  other forum folk I know of who had a thing going ....not so lucky.
A friend of mine tried online dating after being widowed a few years before.
I wont say she was scammed but she came damn close.

Also, I think a lot of people who meet online meet through dating sites or apps, and I think those venues put a lot of pressure on men and women to connect and find some kind of love connection ... even if it's not real.

What worked for me and Eddie is that neither of us were actually trying to "find" someone; with us, it was more like we lucked into each other, really.

We got to know one another with just words, through years of daily messaging sessions that lasted for five, six hours each time.

Sometimes we pushed one another away; sometimes we laid traps for each other and tested each other. She'll be the first to say, I still test her, and that's because I really hate relationships based on bullshit, settling, loneliness, etc. The connection has to be real and miles deep, or I'm not interested. And I had to look a long time for eddie. A long. Fucking. Time.

People who get scammed are by and large very lonely, hungry for affection, dying for someone to care about them, and they don't realize how easy this makes them to be manipulated and fooled.

Eddie and I both realized that from the beginning, and when we finally were satisfied that we were both the real thing, and had been honest from the start ... well, whoa.

The funny thing was though, I think when you and Eddie were testing each other and dancing around one another, some of us could see very clearly you were besotted with one another.
Happily that has turned into a commited relationship.
Like I said, you two are one of the success stories.x

Syl wrote:The funny thing was though, I think when you and Eddie were testing each other and dancing around one another, some of us could see very clearly you were besotted with one another.
Happily that has turned into a commited relationship.
Like I said, you two are one of the success stories.x

It's always a bit humbling for the both of us to hear how so many people could see what was happening without us actually realizing it. We thought we were so clever.

Maddog wrote:

Syl wrote:
Not only for gay people.
Nightclubs have not reopened here ....pubs are shutting again, apart from work where is anyone going to meet anyone?

I read somewhere (  that even pre corona) online dating sites was now the most popular way to meet potential partners.

That's true, but I meet females doing other activities besides bars and such.

I was just musing about how it must be tougher for gay people now, as there isn't as many places where gay people congregate like their used to be.

I guess an unintended consequence of people not really giving a shit about who gets your motor running is the lack of gay centered activities or places they go to meet people.

It's tough for all of us now (the single scene is much weirder than 30 years ago), but probably more so for gay people, making the internet more important for them.

It gives everyone the ability to adjust search parameters to find people "like" you. While many of us can date people not completely like us, we need people who are attracted to our gender, or us theirs. It's much easier for me to find someone that meets that basic criteria.

I guess it also depends on where you live too.
Manchester has had a thriving gay village for decades, it's actually one of the best places to go for a good night out in town, for gay or straight, but it's definately a place for gays to socialise with others.

Obviously, being married for 99 years I am not talking from personal experience, but I would think meeting the opposite sex like you do, in bars, doing sports or other activities,  (like in the good old days) is a lot mor relaxed than setting your stall out on a dating site, where people are looking for one thing only.

Ben Reilly wrote:

Syl wrote:The funny thing was though, I think when you and Eddie were testing each other and dancing around one another, some of us could see very clearly you were besotted with one another.
Happily that has turned into a commited relationship.
Like I said, you two are one of the success stories.x

It's always a bit humbling for the both of us to hear how so many people could see what was happening without us actually realizing it. We thought we were so clever.

Haha....but you were clever, you met and married eventually.

Syl wrote:

Ben Reilly wrote:

Syl wrote:The funny thing was though, I think when you and Eddie were testing each other and dancing around one another, some of us could see very clearly you were besotted with one another.
Happily that has turned into a commited relationship.
Like I said, you two are one of the success stories.x

It's always a bit humbling for the both of us to hear how so many people could see what was happening without us actually realizing it. We thought we were so clever.

Haha....but you were clever, you met and married eventually.

From my standpoint, that wasn't so much about being clever and much more about being brave.

Ben Reilly wrote:

Syl wrote:The funny thing was though, I think when you and Eddie were testing each other and dancing around one another, some of us could see very clearly you were besotted with one another.
Happily that has turned into a commited relationship.
Like I said, you two are one of the success stories.x

It's always a bit humbling for the both of us to hear how so many people could see what was happening without us actually realizing it. We thought we were so clever.

Here’s how I see it

They broke into a bacchanalian dance, which brought him
to his feet at once; all traces of human weakness gone, as if
a bucket of water had passed over him.

Ben Reilly wrote:

Syl wrote:
Haha....but you were clever, you met and married eventually.

From my standpoint, that wasn't so much about being clever and much more about being brave.

Well it was brave to  give up a steady job, leave one life behind and embark on a new life in a strange country.....not to mention take on a fiesty red head.

Syl wrote:

Ben Reilly wrote:

Syl wrote:
Haha....but you were clever, you met and married eventually.

From my standpoint, that wasn't so much about being clever and much more about being brave.

Well it was brave to  give up a steady job, leave one life behind and embark on a new life in a strange country.....not to mention take on a fiesty red head.

Thank you for seeing that. Though it's equally true that I left a dying company and a rather lonely life behind to embark on a new life in a country that's always been very interesting to me ... and get to take on a fiesty redhead, which is a pretty decent nutshell description of my ideal woman

Though edds argues that she's not at all fiesty and in fact quite calm. I wonder where you and I got the fiesty idea from, then?

Ben Reilly wrote:

Syl wrote:
Well it was brave to  give up a steady job, leave one life behind and embark on a new life in a strange country.....not to mention take on a fiesty red head.

Thank you for seeing that. Though it's equally true that I left a dying company and a rather lonely life behind to embark on a new life in a country that's always been very interesting to me ... and get to take on a fiesty redhead, which is a pretty decent nutshell description of my ideal woman

Though edds argues that she's not at all fiesty and in fact quite calm. I wonder where you and I got the fiesty idea from, then?

Sagitarians are very perceptive.

Sagittarian claptrap.

eddie wrote:Sagittarian claptrap.

Oh, you love it.

eddie wrote:Sagittarian claptrap.

Hahaha x

Syl wrote:

Maddog wrote:

That's true, but I meet females doing other activities besides bars and such.

I was just musing about how it must be tougher for gay people now, as there isn't as many places where gay people congregate like their used to be.

I guess an unintended consequence of people not really giving a shit about who gets your motor running is the lack of gay centered activities or places they go to meet people.

It's tough for all of us now (the single scene is much weirder than 30 years ago), but probably more so for gay people, making the internet more important for them.

It gives everyone the ability to adjust search parameters to find people "like" you. While many of us can date people not completely like us, we need people who are attracted to our gender, or us theirs. It's much easier for me to find someone that meets that basic criteria.

I guess it also depends on where you live too.
Manchester has had a thriving gay village for decades, it's actually one of the best places to go for a good night out in town, for gay or straight, but it's definately a place for gays to socialise with others.

Obviously, being married for 99 years I am not talking from personal experience, but I would think meeting the opposite sex like you do, in bars, doing sports or other activities,  (like in the good old days) is a lot mor relaxed than setting your stall out on a dating site, where people are looking for one thing only.

We have gay parts of town but they are becoming much more diverse. Gay bars are being replaced with just bars.

The online dating has different sites for different folks.

The way you can tailor your searches makes a lot of sense.

I could make sure I didn't waste my time on a cat loving, anti hunter who hated country music and wanted me drive a Prius.

Maddog wrote:

Syl wrote:

Maddog wrote:

Nah.

Just being snarky.

My ex met both of her husbands since me, on line, although Tinder is probably not a place to meet a spouse.  

It worked half the time for her.

I know a lot of folks that have done well with online dating.

Two girls I rode with last night met on some online site. Forget which one.

Now that I think about it, with gay bars waning, and all bars being far less popular because of the Rona, online makes a lot of sense for gay people.  

Not only for gay people.
Nightclubs have not reopened here ....pubs are shutting again, apart from work where is anyone going to meet anyone?

I read somewhere (  that even pre corona) online dating sites was now the most popular way to meet potential partners.

That's true, but I meet females doing other activities besides bars and such.

I was just musing about how it must be tougher for gay people now, as there isn't as many places where gay people congregate like their used to be.

I guess an unintended consequence of people not really giving a shit about who gets your motor running is the lack of gay centered activities or places they go to meet people.

It's tough for all of us now (the single scene is much weirder than 30 years ago), but probably more so for gay people, making the internet more important for them.

It gives everyone the ability to adjust search parameters to find people "like" you. While many of us can date people not completely like us, we need people who are attracted to our gender, or us theirs. It's much easier for me to find someone that meets that basic criteria.

I have experience here. As a gay man who was never into meeting people in bars (where, let's be honest, most men are only after one thing anyway), it is much different 'finding someone' in day to day life than I imagine it being for straight people. In all my jobs in England I worked with a number of gay people I could count on one hand. My friend circle has always been entirely straight, including friends of friends, until I moved to Thailand at least.

So even before Covid, dating online always seemed like the best bet (and not talking Tinder or Grindr here, those are NOT dating apps lol).

With Covid, those who did find people in bars are now just as likely to go online as the rest. And tbh, having met my partner online 9 and a half years ago and being married for 3 of them (exactly 3 since this Thursday ), I'd say it is a brilliant way of finding the right one

Happy Anniversary Eilzel. Remember this thread?

https://newsfix.niceboard.com/t22177-congratulations-to-les-on-his-wedding-day

Syl wrote:Happy Anniversary Eilzel. Remember this thread?

https://newsfix.niceboard.com/t22177-congratulations-to-les-on-his-wedding-day

Thanks Syl!

And I do, lovely thread, though a surprising number of guests considering it wasn't that long ago

Facebook is always nice this time of year too, so many photos appearing in memory feed

Eilzel wrote:

Maddog wrote:

That's true, but I meet females doing other activities besides bars and such.

I was just musing about how it must be tougher for gay people now, as there isn't as many places where gay people congregate like their used to be.

I guess an unintended consequence of people not really giving a shit about who gets your motor running is the lack of gay centered activities or places they go to meet people.

It's tough for all of us now (the single scene is much weirder than 30 years ago), but probably more so for gay people, making the internet more important for them.

It gives everyone the ability to adjust search parameters to find people "like" you. While many of us can date people not completely like us, we need people who are attracted to our gender, or us theirs. It's much easier for me to find someone that meets that basic criteria.

I have experience here. As a gay man who was never into meeting people in bars (where, let's be honest, most men are only after one thing anyway), it is much different 'finding someone' in day to day life than I imagine it being for straight people. In all my jobs in England I worked with a number of gay people I could count on one hand. My friend circle has always been entirely straight, including friends of friends, until I moved to Thailand at least.

So even before Covid, dating online always seemed like the best bet (and not talking Tinder or Grindr here, those are NOT dating apps lol).

With Covid, those who did find people in bars are now just as likely to go online as the rest. And tbh, having met my partner online 9 and a half years ago and being married for 3 of them (exactly 3 since this Thursday  ), I'd say it is a brilliant way of finding the right one

Thats what I was getting at. With 2-5 % of the people on the planet being gay, you're pickings would be pretty slim. Gay areas sprang up, much like any area for a marginalized group. Those areas are becoming more diverse. Possibly because of the internet coupled with people being more inclined to associate with folks that are different. Also, because marginalized groups were safer in their "areas".

I was thinking if the two lesbians I was hanging out with the other night. One I don't know, the other I've known for years. The one I've known doesn't hang around other gay people. She doesn't spend much time in gay bars. She's going to have a hard time meeting other women without the internet.

Our most popular gay bar burned a few years ago and was never rebuilt. I know of 3 left and they are usually pretty slow. Most of their customers seem to be older guys my age. Drunk and lonely looking for someone young. The younger gay people are just going to the same places as younger straight people.

This online dating malarkey doesn't work for me; the 98 year old multi millionairess in the next village with a chauffeur driven Rolls Royce and a £1.5 million house shows, for some obscure reason, zero interest in my repeated messages of endearment and promises of eternal bliss and sexual excitement.

Fred Moletrousers wrote:This online dating malarkey doesn't work for me; the 98 year old multi millionairess in the next village with a chauffeur driven Rolls Royce and a £1.5 million house shows, for some obscure reason, zero interest in my repeated messages of endearment and promises of eternal bliss and sexual excitement.

She must be mad.

Syl wrote:

Fred Moletrousers wrote:This online dating malarkey doesn't work for me; the 98 year old multi millionairess in the next village with a chauffeur driven Rolls Royce and a £1.5 million house shows, for some obscure reason, zero interest in my repeated messages of endearment and promises of eternal bliss and sexual excitement.

She must be mad.

I just had to give you a like and a greenie.....for your cheek!

Haha...well have them back, just for being here, x