Gobbledegook in the private sector

by Andy Sat Jun 15, 2019 7:52 pm

This job description just pinged up in my email inbox for a job I might be interested in.
Can ANYONE decipher it?

"As BIM Leader you will initially be responsible for helping develop a Digitally Enabled Agile Manufacturing (DEAM) platform to support an advanced volumetric modular production facility. This platform will incorporate some sophisticated IT systems including a Product Lifecycle Management (PLM) module, and Enterprise Resource Planning (ERP) module, a Manufacturing Execution System (MES) module, a Building Energy Management System (BEMS) module, and some ancillary software solutions. A particular focus of this role will be the development of the PLM module, and then the close integration of the same with the ERP and MES modules. The PLM module itself will include a modelling system and an associated rule-based design assistant; a structured parts library; a BIM objects library; workflow management software and document management software."

by Ben Reilly Sun Jun 16, 2019 1:20 am

Jesus Christ! I would marvel at anyone who could make heads or tails of that.

by 'Wolfie Sun Jun 16, 2019 4:13 am

To me, that sounds like it could be a job description for something like a tealady ???

Or at a stretch, maybe a cleaner or mantenance/ 'janitor'/ "dogsbody" role..

by Raggamuffin Sun Jun 16, 2019 9:55 am

It's obvious what it means - maybe I'll apply for that job. Laughing

by Fred Moletrousers Sun Jun 16, 2019 10:41 am

Andy wrote:This job description just pinged up in my email inbox for a job I might be interested in.
Can ANYONE decipher it?

"As BIM Leader you will initially be responsible for helping develop a Digitally Enabled Agile Manufacturing (DEAM) platform to support an advanced volumetric modular production facility. This platform will incorporate some sophisticated IT systems including a Product Lifecycle Management (PLM) module, and Enterprise Resource Planning (ERP) module, a Manufacturing Execution System (MES) module, a Building Energy Management System (BEMS) module, and some ancillary software solutions. A particular focus of this role will be the development of the PLM module, and then the close integration of the same with the ERP and MES modules. The PLM module itself will include a modelling system and an associated rule-based design assistant; a structured parts library; a BIM objects library; workflow management software and document management software."

It's simple, really, and the initials DEAM are a clear indication of what is required. To wit:

Digitally: Finger operated
Enabled: Functional
Agile: Nimble
Manufacturing: Making something

Hence, Andy, if you would like this job, you will need the ability to pull your operational finger out quickly and make a rapid exit whenever a PLM, ERP, MES or BEMS situation arises, and as the BIM Leader, demonstrate your ability to be an efficient, effective and motivational barking insane mugwump.

by Andy Sun Jun 16, 2019 1:10 pm

Sounds a perfect job as Conservative partysecretary

by Vintage Sun Jun 16, 2019 2:23 pm

It's obviously an attendant at a high tech Japanese toilet facility.

by JulesV Sun Jun 16, 2019 7:33 pm

It's "Double Dutch" !!

That's what people called incomprehensible blabber in bygone days. What a Face

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