What a "snowflake" REALLY is -- according to the Good Men Project

A snowflake is someone who is afraid of their feelings. Loyalty to the Cult of Machismo means strict adherence to an artificially narrow set of expectations. The stress of walking that tightrope is killing us. There’s a fallacy floating around that the “nu-male” must be a weak-willed, constantly weeping mess. This is a negative myth perpetuated by the cult. No one is expecting you to become a blubbering mess with no ability to control your emotions. Actually, it’s about learning to accept and integrate all your emotions into your everyday life so you can be more human, not some half-human creature that self-handicaps your feelings. You don’t have to constantly talk about your feelings if you don’t want to, but you should at least be free to exercise that option.

A snowflake is someone who thinks showing vulnerability equals weakness. A real man knows it’s okay to ask for help. Anyone who tells you otherwise doesn’t have your best interest in mind. Don’t be just another tool propping up the crumbling edifice of the macho male stereotype. Don’t just tell your friends and family “I’m fine” when you’re feeling like shit about yourself. That way lies madness, literally.

A snowflake is someone who gets angry over the tiniest perceived slights. Having a hair-trigger temper doesn’t make you tough. It actually means your masculinity is as brittle as cracked glass. Reject the Cult of Machismo’s bullshit rule that other men are potential enemies. You don’t have to be on edge all the time.

A snowflake is someone who is afraid there’s a “war on men.” Women, immigrants, and other scapegoats aren’t coming to emasculate you. In a masterful use of misdirection that would make Machiavelli jealous, the Cult of Machismo has blinded you to the truth: we men can be our own worst enemies. Let go of the war mentality you’ve been fed, and use that energy to create a better view of yourself and the world.

How does one avoid becoming a real snowflake? If we want to be better men, then we must focus on creating better manhood. We must refuse to walk the narrow, twisting tightrope of shallow masculine expectations. You’re a goddamn human being, not an automaton only built for competition, domination, and violence. Take back your humanity, and be a real man.

Andy wrote:He did.
But Dyk is a compulsive purveyor of terminological inexactitudes.
You did the right thing banning Major , Eds, hopefully for life.
It shows just how extreme and berserk Major is when Dyk bans him then pretends he met his maker rather than tell the world he had to ban his favourite poster.

Andy wrote:He has gotten worse. Far worse. Believe me, you do not want to see his latest diatribe.
And it appears to be. condoned by a regular poster on here.

Andy wrote:He did.
But Dyk is a compulsive purveyor of terminological inexactitudes.
You did the right thing banning Major , Eds, hopefully for life.
It shows just how extreme and berserk Major is when Dyk bans him then pretends he met his maker rather than tell the world he had to ban his favourite poster.

Eilzel wrote:

Andy wrote:He did.
But Dyk is a compulsive purveyor of terminological inexactitudes.
You did the right thing banning Major , Eds, hopefully for life.
It shows just how extreme and berserk Major is when Dyk bans him then pretends he met his maker rather than tell the world he had to ban his favourite poster.

Wait, so Major isn't dead?

eddie wrote:

Eilzel wrote:

Andy wrote:He did.
But Dyk is a compulsive purveyor of terminological inexactitudes.
You did the right thing banning Major , Eds, hopefully for life.
It shows just how extreme and berserk Major is when Dyk bans him then pretends he met his maker rather than tell the world he had to ban his favourite poster.

Wait, so Major isn't dead?

Apparently not. Still spewing racist and homophobic drivel no doubt.

Eilzel wrote:

eddie wrote:

Eilzel wrote:

Andy wrote:He did.
But Dyk is a compulsive purveyor of terminological inexactitudes.
You did the right thing banning Major , Eds, hopefully for life.
It shows just how extreme and berserk Major is when Dyk bans him then pretends he met his maker rather than tell the world he had to ban his favourite poster.

Wait, so Major isn't dead?

Apparently not. Still spewing racist and homophobic drivel no doubt.

Well, that's nice for him. But yeah, still a geranium undoubtedly

Andy wrote:As an aside, did anyone else see that horrendous post by Major Stormbold on Raggs forum, which it seems she is happy for it to remain?

It was beyond disgusting.

Easy to see why he has been banned from nearly every forum he has been a member of. Apart from Raggs extreme far right supporting den of iniquity..

Eilzel wrote:

Maddog wrote:

There are millions of Americans that would tell you that your lifestyle is wrong, but they love you, just not your sin.

Those people are generally attacked if they make that position publicly known. Their attackers are quite proud of their actions, because they are stomping out the hateful homophobes. They feel they are virtuous in their actions.

The guy I work with has a gay daughter. It's not mentioned. It's like a weird secret that everyone knows about. It's almost like the old "don't ask, don't tell" position of the US military. However, they have a good relationship, even though it's sort of fake. I know that many would say that she should confront her father and set him straight. They have found a way to tolerate each other's positions and make it work. Tolerance will do that.

I need to run. Y'all behave and be nice to each other.  
   

See, to someone with little interest in the concerns of others (and I'm not saying YOU are like that, but this is a trait more common on the Right, where self-interests are king), THAT sounds like a wonderful 'everybody wins' scenario. But that is BS, and it is really just an uncomfortable compromise.

For the father, he KNOWS what his daughter is up to in her private life and doesn't like it. In my experience, it is those who oppose the gay lifestyle who think the most about it (ewwwww, people do that? It's icky AND against GOD!), so he is almost certainly going to think about it sometimes, and won't like it.

For the daughter, she knows her father is never going to accept her love life and that IS going to affect how close they can ever really be. To use myself as an example, my parents love my husband (who is also of a different ethnicity) like a son. The sweetest thing anyone said to us was from my uncle who told us on our wedding day that he knew my husband was family the moment they met him - just knew it.

The daughter in your story will never have that, unless her family suddenly changes (always a possibility btw, that's WHY people like me will 'whine' about those who oppose our 'lifestyle' because WE want EVERYONE to have the kind of love and acceptance that I and others have).

For both father and daughter they tolerate (an awful word sometimes) each other - but that will never be close to ideal.

Maddog wrote:

Andy wrote:As an aside, did anyone else see that horrendous post by Major Stormbold on Raggs forum, which it seems she is happy for it to remain?

It was beyond disgusting.

Easy to see why he has been banned from nearly every forum he has been a member of. Apart from Raggs extreme far right supporting den of iniquity..

Stop whining.

Andy wrote:

Maddog wrote:

Andy wrote:As an aside, did anyone else see that horrendous post by Major Stormbold on Raggs forum, which it seems she is happy for it to remain?

It was beyond disgusting.

Easy to see why he has been banned from nearly every forum he has been a member of. Apart from Raggs extreme far right supporting den of iniquity..

Stop whining.

Obviously hit a nerve then.
From that, I take it you support what Major says about overseas friends or non white skinned folk.

Andy wrote:

Maddog wrote:

Stop whining.

Obviously hit a nerve then.
From that, I take it you support what Major says about overseas friends or non white skinned folk.

Maddog wrote:

Andy wrote:

Maddog wrote:

Stop whining.

Obviously hit a nerve then.
From that, I take it you support what Major says about overseas friends or non white skinned folk.

I don't do the whole tribal thing, chief.

Maddog wrote:

Andy wrote:
Obviously hit a nerve then.
From that, I take it you support what Major says about overseas friends or non white skinned folk.

I don't have any nerves. I had them surgically removed.

Maddog wrote:

Eilzel wrote:

Maddog wrote:

There are millions of Americans that would tell you that your lifestyle is wrong, but they love you, just not your sin.

Those people are generally attacked if they make that position publicly known. Their attackers are quite proud of their actions, because they are stomping out the hateful homophobes. They feel they are virtuous in their actions.

The guy I work with has a gay daughter. It's not mentioned. It's like a weird secret that everyone knows about. It's almost like the old "don't ask, don't tell" position of the US military. However, they have a good relationship, even though it's sort of fake. I know that many would say that she should confront her father and set him straight. They have found a way to tolerate each other's positions and make it work. Tolerance will do that.

I need to run. Y'all behave and be nice to each other.  
   

See, to someone with little interest in the concerns of others (and I'm not saying YOU are like that, but this is a trait more common on the Right, where self-interests are king), THAT sounds like a wonderful 'everybody wins' scenario. But that is BS, and it is really just an uncomfortable compromise.

For the father, he KNOWS what his daughter is up to in her private life and doesn't like it. In my experience, it is those who oppose the gay lifestyle who think the most about it (ewwwww, people do that? It's icky AND against GOD!), so he is almost certainly going to think about it sometimes, and won't like it.

For the daughter, she knows her father is never going to accept her love life and that IS going to affect how close they can ever really be. To use myself as an example, my parents love my husband (who is also of a different ethnicity) like a son. The sweetest thing anyone said to us was from my uncle who told us on our wedding day that he knew my husband was family the moment they met him - just knew it.

The daughter in your story will never have that, unless her family suddenly changes (always a possibility btw, that's WHY people like me will 'whine' about those who oppose our 'lifestyle' because WE want EVERYONE to have the kind of love and acceptance that I and others have).

For both father and daughter they tolerate (an awful word sometimes) each other - but that will never be close to ideal.

It could be far worse. They have made it work. Perhaps he will change. I can assure you it won't happen by someone jumping in his face and telling him he is wrong and they are virtuous.

Eilzel wrote:

Maddog wrote:

It could be far worse. They have made it work. Perhaps he will change. I can assure you it won't happen by someone jumping in his face and telling him he is wrong and they are virtuous.

Most people don't do that though (and in my experience the ones who do that the most are those raving idiot street preachers "Repent! For sinners shall not inherit the Kingdom of God?" Fucking annoying pricks they are.

Through years or exposure through the efforts of 'whiners' opposing homophobia, they have made homosexuality acceptable to most people in the West. They've done this through tireless lobbying, debates, articles, parades, protest and incorporating gay characters into mainstream TV.

People's views can change. Some are just more entrenched than others.

Maddog wrote:

Eilzel wrote:

Maddog wrote:

It could be far worse. They have made it work. Perhaps he will change. I can assure you it won't happen by someone jumping in his face and telling him he is wrong and they are virtuous.

Most people don't do that though (and in my experience the ones who do that the most are those raving idiot street preachers "Repent! For sinners shall not inherit the Kingdom of God?" Fucking annoying pricks they are.

Through years or exposure through the efforts of 'whiners' opposing homophobia, they have made homosexuality acceptable to most people in the West. They've done this through tireless lobbying, debates, articles, parades, protest and incorporating gay characters into mainstream TV.

People's views can change. Some are just more entrenched than others.

I agree with the debate part. And articles. Protests and parades were just preaching to the choir. It's like Kaepernick. He's not going to change any minds.  

My views have radically changed from 30 years ago. Much of it was just from hanging around a handful of lesbians, that didn't lecture me, and I didn't lecture them.

I react better to "have you considered a different point of view" than "you are wrong". I think most of us do.

I've never been to a gay pride parade, and I doubt I ever will.

I do like how you left off government actions as reason for the change. I believe that government action/laws are lagging, not leading indicators of change.