Would YOU make your child give up their seat on public transport? Mother reveals she was rebuked by an angry pensioner for not making her four and six-year-old stand up

British Mumsnet user said her children, four and six, were sitting down on bus
Older lady started complaining loudly because she didn't make them stand up
Some parents said they would have made their children share a seat
A handful argued kids should be standing and should just hold on properly

A mother has provoked a furious debate on whether children should be made to give up their seats for elderly passengers on public transport, after an incident during a bus journey.

Taking to the British parenting forum Mumsnet the woman explained how a woman in her sixties had started moaning 'loudly' because she didn't offer her one of the seats occupied by her her two children, aged four and six.

The mother-of-three went on to explain that she was standing with a baby in a pram, and so couldn't offer her own seat.

According to the woman, who under the username 'whatsthepointthen,' the older lady kept 'shaking her head' throughout the journey, prompting her to pose the question: 'Should children give up their seats for their elders?'

The scenario initiated a range of replies from others, with some suggesting it depends on the children's age and how able bodied the older person is, while others claimed 'some bus routes are not suitable for small children to stand on.'

Others took the viewpoint that other adults should have vacated their seat for an elderly lady.

One commented: 'I always find it bizarre that the people who are compelled to give up their seat for a vulnerable passenger, are other vulnerable passengers rather than, for example strapping twenty year olds.'

Another agreed: 'Well, unless she was struggling to stand I don’t think being in her 60s makes her more worthy of a seat than a child. Surely it makes far more sense for an able bodied adult to stand up than a child of 4 or 6.'
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-6392897/Mum-bus-journey-asks-young-children-seats-elders.html

I remember my mum always making me stand for older people on public transport.  Always.  Let that lady sit down, was what she would say.   It was about respect as much as the fact that my legs were younger.

I've edited 'elderly' out of this post because in actual fact, my mum would make me stand for any adult.

On buses in B,ham years ago there was a notice witch said " Children must give up their seats if adults are standing ", nothing said about elderly!

nicko wrote:On buses in B,ham years ago there was a notice witch said " Children must give up their seats if adults are standing ",    nothing said about elderly!

How times have changed.

I don't think there's anything wrong with making a child stand. I always made my daughter stand up when there was an adult standing.

So did I.

Yes, I think children should stand up - it teaches them to be thoughtful and respectful.

Raggamuffin wrote:Yes, I think children should stand up - it teaches them to be thoughtful and respectful.

There's definitely not enough of that around now.

I had to get up or sit on mother or father's lap, sometimes one of them would get up as and we'd all stand to let an older person sit or anyone who needed a seat. The buses then used to be packed to the gunnels adults, kids, shopping and maybe a dog or two when the bus went around corners, there's lots of them everyone would sway with the movement of the bus and up hill and down hills, going up was the worst when the driver would have to change down and instead of swaying sideways it would be back and for or both if it was a corner on a hill, it was a bit like a crowded come dancing, you had to be good on your feet. On wet days the condensation from so many wet people would run down the windows, you had to wipe a piece of window to see where you were and if it was your stop.

nicko wrote:On buses in B,ham years ago there was a notice witch said " Children must give up their seats if adults are standing ",    nothing said about elderly!

Sign is still there on our buses (Golden Gate Bridge transit). It says federal law says you've got to yield seats for seniors and the disabled. Drivers have been reprimanded for not ordering the youth get up and offer seats. It's the law.

Raggamuffin wrote:Yes, I think children should stand up - it teaches them to be thoughtful and respectful.

It used to be the norm, and even on the eve of entering my 80th year I am perfectly willing to offer my seat to anyone less capable than myself of standing - and, in fact, have done so on some of the rare occasions that I travel by bus.

It's how I was brought up in those so called 'bad old days' when good manners and courtesy actually meant something.

OK, so still being able to walk briskly enough to cover three miles in an hour in spite of a re-conditioned heart I realise that I am, thankfully, somewhat fitter than most old geezers...even though, sadly, these days if were to offer my seat to a woman on a bus I would risk her turning out to be one of those tiresome feminazis who would probably loudly accuse me of harassing her!

I agree with everyone else, children should not take up a seat if an elderly person is standing.
My mum would never allow me to sit whilst adults were standing when I was little, in return my son would stand or sit on my knee when he was a child...same with grandsons.

I made a rare tram trip last week, on 2 trams I had to stand for the duration....an hour and a half in total. On both trams there were several young fit men sat down glued to their phones ignoring all the women who were standing.
The age of chivalry...

Syl wrote:I agree with everyone else, children should not take up a seat if an elderly person is standing.
My mum would never allow me to sit whilst adults were standing when I was little, in return my son would stand or sit on my knee when he was a child...same with grandsons.

I made a rare tram trip last week, on 2 trams I had to stand for the duration....an hour and a half in total. On both trams there were several young fit men sat down glued to their phones ignoring all the women who were standing.
The age of chivalry...

That, unhappily, happens everywhere, Syl.

Just under a week ago my partner and I attended the Royal British Legion Festival of Remembrance at the Royal Albert Hall, and because she is unable to cope with the underground due to mobility problems we took the No 10 bus from St Pancras station to Kensington.

It was absolutely crowded with standing room only, and in spite of the fact that she has to rely on a walking stick and the bus was full of seemingly able-bodied commuters and a number of children, the only person to get up and offer her a seat was a lady who must have been almost the same age, albeit a good deal more fit.

Sad.

That should not happen. I've had drivers cashiered for that.

Fred Moletrousers wrote:

Syl wrote:I agree with everyone else, children should not take up a seat if an elderly person is standing.
My mum would never allow me to sit whilst adults were standing when I was little, in return my son would stand or sit on my knee when he was a child...same with grandsons.

I made a rare tram trip last week, on 2 trams I had to stand for the duration....an hour and a half in total. On both trams there were several young fit men sat down glued to their phones ignoring all the women who were standing.
The age of chivalry...

That, unhappily, happens everywhere, Syl.

Just under a week ago my partner and I attended the Royal British Legion Festival of Remembrance at the Royal Albert Hall, and because she is unable to cope with the underground due to mobility problems we took the No 10 bus from St Pancras station to Kensington.

It was absolutely crowded with standing room only, and in spite of the fact that she has to rely on a walking stick and the bus was full of seemingly able-bodied commuters and a number of children, the only person to get up and offer her a seat was a lady who must have been almost the same age, albeit a good deal more fit.

Sad.

It's a sad sign of the times Fred, and it says a lot about society as a whole.
I would still get up and offer my seat (like the lady on the bus did) if I saw someone more in need than myself, but youngsters in general dont seem to have basic good manners instilled in them anymore.

Vintage wrote:I had to get up or sit on mother or father's lap, sometimes one of them would get up as and we'd all stand to let an older person sit or anyone who needed a seat. The buses then used to be packed to the gunnels adults, kids, shopping and maybe a dog or two when the bus went around corners, there's lots of them everyone would sway with the movement of the bus and up hill and down hills, going up was the worst when the driver would have to change down and instead of swaying sideways it would be back and for or both if it was a corner on a hill, it was a bit like a crowded come dancing, you had to be good on your feet. On wet days the condensation from so many wet people would run down the windows, you had to wipe a piece of window to see where you were and if it was your stop.  

Remember when we had ice on the inside? Haven't seen that in years.

The problem here is expectations that is wrong.

Just because some is able looking and young, does that then mean people should think they should give up their seat?

No

What none of you look at is the actual problem. That we have an inadequte transport system, that does not cater having enough seats for everyone.

I am sorry, but unless someone old, using aids to help them walk, why then should anyone give up their seat for them? Nobody would give up their seat for someone who looks able bodied but has a hidden illness.

In other words, this is all down to peer pressure, based on expectations and that is in reality impossible to regulate. It should come down to people happy to get up and give their seat to anyone else. No matter who they are, what age, gender etc. That is simple called being kind to anyone. There should be no limitations on this. Though as I say the problem is the short comings of the transport system itself.

Didge wrote:I am sorry, but unless someone old, using aids to help them walk, why then should anyone give up their seat for them? Nobody would give up their seat for someone who looks able bodied but has a hidden illness.

That's why we have ID cards that demark people as disabled or elderly.

HoratioTarr wrote:

Vintage wrote:I had to get up or sit on mother or father's lap, sometimes one of them would get up as and we'd all stand to let an older person sit or anyone who needed a seat. The buses then used to be packed to the gunnels adults, kids, shopping and maybe a dog or two when the bus went around corners, there's lots of them everyone would sway with the movement of the bus and up hill and down hills, going up was the worst when the driver would have to change down and instead of swaying sideways it would be back and for or both if it was a corner on a hill, it was a bit like a crowded come dancing, you had to be good on your feet. On wet days the condensation from so many wet people would run down the windows, you had to wipe a piece of window to see where you were and if it was your stop.  

Remember when we had ice on the inside?   Haven't seen that in years.

Yes, I remember that, it doesn't seem to happen now, as you say.