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Greiving Mum explains why she cared for her dead baby for 2 weeks.

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Greiving Mum explains why she cared for her dead baby for 2 weeks. Empty Greiving Mum explains why she cared for her dead baby for 2 weeks.

Post by Syl Thu Feb 02, 2017 2:00 pm

"A heartbroken couple have shared moving pictures of the 16 days they spent with their dead baby girl, even taking her out in a pram."

So sad, but if it helps parents come to terms with the death of their baby, is it a good thing to be able to do?

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/mum-who-spent-14-days-9734775

Greiving Mum explains why she cared for her dead baby for 2 weeks. PAY-BRAVE-MUM-SHARES-HEARTBREAKING-PHOTOS-AFTER-SPENDING-16-DAYS-WITH-DEAD-BABY-GIRL
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Post by Guest Thu Feb 02, 2017 2:02 pm

Heartbreaking to see and even more so after she tried for so long to conceive.

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Post by Syl Thu Feb 02, 2017 2:07 pm

Thorin wrote:Heartbreaking to see and even more so after she tried for so long to conceive.
It is heartbreaking Thor, it's one of those news stories that stays with us long after we have read it.

Informative too. I didn't know parents were allowed to take a "cold cot" home with them to enable them to do this.
I'm sure it's not for every parent who has lost a child, but if it helps some come to terms with their grief, I think it's a good idea.
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Post by eddie Fri Feb 03, 2017 6:02 pm

I don't know how I'd be after a tragedy like that but I have to say, the idea of cuddling a cold corpse and pushing it in a pram....it kind of repulses me.

There's nothing there but cold dead meat and bones.
Harsh, but that's how I see it.
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Post by Syl Fri Feb 03, 2017 7:31 pm

I feel a bit like that tbh.
I sat with my mum for hours, till she was cold like marble, I sort of knew that her spirit had gone the moment she died though.

I suppose with a newborn baby, the parents are just trying to store up memories....it's really heart breaking, but I think if it helps them cope it's good.
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Post by eddie Fri Feb 03, 2017 7:39 pm

Honestly? I can't even look at the picture of a dead person so I can't even look at the pic in the OP.
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Post by Syl Fri Feb 03, 2017 7:42 pm

eddie wrote:Honestly? I can't even look at the picture of a dead person so I can't even look at the pic in the OP.

Death isn't easy to face, I think if it's someone you have loved it comes more naturally.
I have never been able to hold a dead animal......it freaks me out.
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Post by eddie Fri Feb 03, 2017 8:37 pm

Death freaks me out a little.
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Post by HoratioTarr Fri Feb 03, 2017 10:13 pm

Syl wrote:I feel a bit like that tbh.
I sat with my mum for hours, till she was cold like marble, I sort of knew that her spirit had gone the moment she died though.

I suppose with a newborn baby, the parents are just trying to store up memories....it's really heart breaking, but I think if it helps them cope it's good.

I remember going to see my mum after she died, and I kept staring and staring at her, because I couldn't see her in that body. What lay there wasn't her. It's very sad this story, but a bit sick too. If you understand what goes on in the human body after death, you might think twice about keeping it for two days, never mind two weeks. I guess they kept the body refrigerated but even so....
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Post by HoratioTarr Fri Feb 03, 2017 10:17 pm

Syl wrote:
eddie wrote:Honestly? I can't even look at the picture of a dead person so I can't even look at the pic in the OP.

Death isn't easy to face, I think if it's someone you have loved it comes more naturally.
I have never been able to hold a dead animal......it freaks me out.

I held my dog as he died. I cuddled him for ages afterwards. Death is as much a part of life as being born. We all have to go there. It's one of the worst parts of love...losing those closest to you.
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Post by eddie Fri Feb 03, 2017 11:30 pm

HoratioTarr wrote:
Syl wrote:I feel a bit like that tbh.
I sat with my mum for hours, till she was cold like marble, I sort of knew that her spirit had gone the moment she died though.

I suppose with a newborn baby, the parents are just trying to store up memories....it's really heart breaking, but I think if it helps them cope it's good.

I remember going to see my mum after she died, and I kept staring and staring at her, because I couldn't see her in that body.   What lay there wasn't her.   It's very sad this story, but a bit sick too.   If you understand what goes on in the human body after death, you might think twice about keeping it for two days, never mind two weeks.  I guess they kept the body refrigerated but even so....

That was also on my mind, the smell. I am extremely smell-sensitive.
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Post by magica Sat Feb 04, 2017 2:36 pm

Keeping a baby for that length of time would make it much harder to part with. Also its only the body, the spirit has gone. Like others have said, the body would soon start to rot as happens when someone dies, its normal. The baby wouldn't smell like a baby, just rot, and be so stiff.

I know it takes everyone different ways to get over their loss, especially a baby, but holding onto the baby isn't right. I do hope they can let go when they have too and take comfort in eachother.
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Post by Syl Sat Feb 04, 2017 5:17 pm

magica wrote:Keeping a baby for that length of time would make it much harder to part with.  Also its only the body, the spirit has gone.  Like others have said, the body would soon start to rot as happens when someone dies, its normal.  The baby wouldn't smell like a baby, just rot, and be so stiff.

I know it takes everyone different ways to get over their loss, especially a baby, but holding onto the baby isn't right.  I do hope they can let go when they have too and take comfort in eachother.

You are right Mags, people grieve in different ways.
I cant imagine keeping a dead baby is what most people would find helpful, but this couple are not the first....in the article it says some parents take their babies home for longer than 2 weeks to care for them.

I think whatever gets you through a tragic loss ...if it helps with the grieving process, that's what matters.
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Post by JulesV Sat Feb 04, 2017 8:08 pm

magica wrote:Keeping a baby for that length of time would make it much harder to part with.  Also its only the body, the spirit has gone.  Like others have said, the body would soon start to rot as happens when someone dies, its normal.  The baby wouldn't smell like a baby, just rot, and be so stiff.

I know it takes everyone different ways to get over their loss, especially a baby, but holding onto the baby isn't right.  I do hope they can let go when they have too and take comfort in eachother.

Yes. I feel so sorry for this grieving couple. But there are hygiene issues here. The mouth is wide open!
That's not their baby they are cuddling, it's the empty shell in which she once lived. Let go of her mortal remains and hang on to the good memories instead.

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Post by nicko Sat Feb 04, 2017 10:29 pm

Rigor Mortis would be gone after around 24hrs so the body would be "floppy". Unless the body had been drained of blood and preservative passed into the body, after 3 or4 days the body would take on a greenish hue and unless body orifices had been plugged nasty looking and smelly liquid would appear.Unless frozen the appearance would be appalling.
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