Questions that bug me

Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?



Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?



Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?????????



why Do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?


What disease did cured ham actually have?


How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?


Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?


Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
They're going to see you naked anyway...


Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?


Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?


If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?


Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!


If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?


Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?


Why did you just try singing the two songs above?


Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's
face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why, Why, Why
do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four
billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?


Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?




If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses
are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a thread a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the
vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light
fixtures?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my
FAVORITE.........

The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

I now these are meant to be jokes but I cant stand things that are just uneducation

Is there another word for synonym?

MS word Excepts; Substitute and Replacement

Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?????????

Buttons are mass produced

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Air and communications

party pooper!!!!  

I'm Sorry Grumpy it is a compulsion               

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

the effort required to make a round box is much higher

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's
face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Stink Breath

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Capitalists are evil

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

you have no idea how evolution works do you? nowhere in the theory of evolution does it suggest there won’t be a genius species if a subspecies evolves. Plus Chimps have also evolved since the Ape that Hominids came from. We did not come from the same Ape as Chimps but if we did it would just be two braches like in a family tree when parents have more than 1 child.

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Water has a higher refractive index than air (it slows down light more), and because they are spherical, they act like a divergent lens, bending the light. As the light bounces through many bubble surfaces it is bent each time- it is scattered (reflected and refracted) in all directions (including back to your eyes).
Colours are seen when white light is shone through an object (in this case coloured bath water), where wavelengths of a particular length are absorbed and others are unaffected. if you shine light on the bubbles, the same proportions of wavelengths gets back to your eyes. As you're using white light from a bulb or the sun (which is made up of all the colours with a wide range of wavelengths)- you'll see white bubbles.
(of course if you used a red light for example- you would see red bubbles)

Just had fun reading them all out to grandaughter!!!!

veya_victaous wrote:
I'm Sorry Grumpy it is a compulsion               

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

the effort required to make a round box is much higher

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's
face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Stink Breath

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Capitalists are evil

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

you have no idea how evolution works do you? nowhere in the theory of evolution does it suggest there won’t be a genius species if a subspecies evolves. Plus Chimps have also evolved since the Ape that Hominids came from. We did not come from the same Ape as Chimps but if we did it would just be two braches like in a family tree when parents have more than 1 child.

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Water has a higher refractive index than air (it slows down light more), and because they are spherical, they act like a divergent lens, bending the light. As the light bounces through many bubble surfaces it is bent each time- it is scattered (reflected and refracted) in all directions (including back to your eyes).
Colours are seen when white light is shone through an object (in this case coloured bath water), where wavelengths of a particular length are absorbed and others are unaffected.  if you shine light on the bubbles, the same proportions of wavelengths gets back to your eyes. As you're using white light from a bulb or the sun (which is made up of all the colours with a wide range of wavelengths)- you'll see white bubbles.
(of course if you used a red light for example- you would see red bubbles)

Stop it, just stop it!!! LOL

veya_victaous wrote:
I'm Sorry Grumpy it is a compulsion               

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

the effort required to make a round box is much higher

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's
face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Stink Breath

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Capitalists are evil

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

you have no idea how evolution works do you? nowhere in the theory of evolution does it suggest there won’t be a genius species if a subspecies evolves. Plus Chimps have also evolved since the Ape that Hominids came from. We did not come from the same Ape as Chimps but if we did it would just be two braches like in a family tree when parents have more than 1 child.

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Water has a higher refractive index than air (it slows down light more), and because they are spherical, they act like a divergent lens, bending the light. As the light bounces through many bubble surfaces it is bent each time- it is scattered (reflected and refracted) in all directions (including back to your eyes).
Colours are seen when white light is shone through an object (in this case coloured bath water), where wavelengths of a particular length are absorbed and others are unaffected.  if you shine light on the bubbles, the same proportions of wavelengths gets back to your eyes. As you're using white light from a bulb or the sun (which is made up of all the colours with a wide range of wavelengths)- you'll see white bubbles.
(of course if you used a red light for example- you would see red bubbles)

mmmmm...I can see you would be a hit at a joke telling session....

"what did the quark say to the singualrity". "how ever I must point out this is a purely hypothetical situation....etc "   

@grumpy
     
Not my fault I'm educated.
     


   I'm worse with dumb movies ......

a good education is always to be admired....but dont let it educate away your sense of the absurd  

veya_victaous wrote:@grumpy
     
Not my fault I'm educated.
     


   I'm worse with dumb movies ......

Veya, so have I, but it's like when you are watching a science fiction movie, you have to suspend disbelief, or in this case, suspend obvious knowledge and go with what the joke means. You gotta have a laugh!  :D 

Poor Veya, I know how it feels, though. People get annoyed with my "know-it-all" attitude and I'm like, I'm just trying to help! Besides, I've been a journalist for most of my adult life, and people don't realize that part of that is knowing as much as possible

@sassy
I pretty much dont watch movies for that reason.  

@ben
'knowing as much as possible' is the way I have always tried to live my life, never turn down a free lesson or a free book.  

veya_victaous wrote:@sassy
I pretty much dont watch movies for that reason.  

@ben
'knowing as much as possible' is the way I have always tried to live my life, never turn down a free lesson or a free book.  

Oh, that's sad. I find myself thinking, 'that's not right' and then mentally tell myself to shut up and enjoy it. Knowledge is a wonderful thing, but so is imagination, you can have both, but I certainly agree, never turn down a free lesson or a free book.

Ben_Reilly wrote:Poor Veya, I know how it feels, though. People get annoyed with my "know-it-all" attitude and I'm like, I'm just trying to help! Besides, I've been a journalist for most of my adult life, and people don't realize that part of that is knowing as much as possible

Hey Ben. Can I be your UK sports correspondent on Football (soccer). I'm not a know all but I am fairly well versed on the situation here.

I work for free lol

I'm not one to turn down free work Welcome aboard!