Why Clean for the Queen is just another dirty trick by the Tories and the Royals

A filthy insult: Michael Gove and his Tory chums have some nerve lecturing us when they've devastated public services  

Here are the main reasons I won’t be joining this weekend’s Clean for the Queen campaign, which aims to have the nation looking spotless in time for Her Maj’s 90th birthday.

It’s Mother’s Day on Sunday, and as my dear old mum used to say whenever she heard sycophants praise the Queen for all her hard, selfless work: “Hard work? She’s never cleaned a bloody dish in her life.”

Nicholas Witchell may be one of the million volunteers they’re hoping for, and if I bumped into him I’d probably force my metal litter-grabber deep into somewhere I shouldn’t.

It seems a curious birthday gift for someone who never sees litter, due to forelock-tuggers removing every speck of dust from her path when she leaves her palaces.

A woman who has hordes of servants cleaning those palaces, many of whom threatened strike action last year as they weren’t being paid a living wage .

Plus, why do we need to Clean for the Queen when she’s already cleaning-up big time? In 2011, George Osborne gave her a 38% pay rise (from £31 million to £42.8 million) over five years, while telling the rest of us to tighten our belts until our nuts squeaked.
Read more: Windsor Castle cleaner wanted - but don't expect a king's ransom
Her officials are currently badgering him for a new, inflation-battering ­Sovereign Grant, which she will no doubt  get, despite austere times.

There are ­promotion posters for this regal ­clean-up, which have Boris Johnson and Michael Gove looking like a pair of ­gormless Wombles, who have probably employed East Europeans, on the cheap, to scrub the skid-marks from their lavatories, while they pen articles pleading with us to let no more foreign workers in.


Clean for the Queen
Gormless Womble: Boris Johnson is another cheerleader for this nonsense  

It’s being sponsored by multinational fast-food and coffee shop chains, some of whom make vast profits peddling junk wrapped in the very ­cardboard and paper that ends up on dirty streets they don’t pay their taxes to  clean.

This stunt is the brainchild of a Tory Cabinet that has cut local government funding by 40% since it came to power in 2010, meaning some councils have had to slash street-cleaning and public bin-emptying budgets by up to 80%.

The colour of Clean for the Queen posters is purple, the same as my wheelie bin, which since that Cabinet came to power, only gets collected every fortnight - meaning bags get left out, attracting vermin, who strew the remains of last Sunday’s dinner all over the street.

Yet now they want us to clean our public spaces for free, under the guise of a patriotic birthday gift to the Queen. Gawd bless ’em.

It’s a blatant attempt by Cameron to revive his Big Society initiative, which died a death shortly after hoodie-hugging.

If Clean for the Queen works will we move on to Take an OAP from a care home for the Queen Mum? Deport a refugee for Prince Philip?


PA
Rolling in it: 'Hands up if you think we should be given even MORE public money?'
 
The thought of Big Chief Ham-Head yelling at Jeremy Corbyn that this weekend is proof we don’t need to spend so much on public services because there’s an army of volunteers ready to do it for nothing, makes me want to Puke for the Duke.

So, no offence ma’am, but if it’s OK with you, this weekend I’d rather Elope with the Pope, Drink a drink to Lily the Pink, or sit on my couch and Grow boils for the Royals.

Maybe Prince Edward could come round on Monday to clean them as an birthday present, if he hasn’t got too much on.

the vote: 

Will YOU be taking part in Clean for the Queen?

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  YES
  
  3%
  
  
  
  
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  NO
  
  97%
  
  
  http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/clean-queen-just-another-dirty-7493812#ICID=sharebar_twitter
  

sassy wrote:So, does anyone know anyone out there 'Cleaning for the Queen' today?

Didge wrote:

sassy wrote:So, does anyone know anyone out there 'Cleaning for the Queen' today?

I intend to clean up Britain today of racists like you

It will be very easy