Touching Mirror Experiment Proves That 'You're Enough Just The Way You Are'

[ltr]Mirrors are devious, lying fixtures that should never be trusted to give an honest opinion.[/ltr]
[ltr]That's the general takeaway from "What Do Strangers Think Of You?", a BuzzFeed video that set individuals in front of a mirror, then asked them to honestly describe themselves. At the same time, and unbeknownst to them, strangers in another room were asked to offer their opinions of the individual.[/ltr]
[ltr]As is often the case, the people judging themselves were their harshest critics. Even more surprising: What they described as a "flaw" either went unnoticed by the stranger, or was perceived as a strength.[/ltr]
[ltr]The video is reminiscent of the Dove's "Real Beauty Sketches" campaign, which used a similar tactic to promote the tagline, "You are more beautiful than you think."[/ltr]

[ltr]http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/23/mirror-self-image-beauty-video_n_5381732.html?utm_hp_ref=good-news[/ltr]

That's an inspiring video and so is the Dove Beauty one,I also watched.

But what if the strangers behind the mirror had been insulting and confirmed the flaws the people thought they had?

This experiment was obviously set up so that the participants would receive positive feedback.The real world isn't like that,although I personally have never been insulted in RL,just online.

FluffyBunny wrote:That's an inspiring video and so is the Dove Beauty one,I also watched.

But what if the strangers behind the mirror had been insulting and confirmed the flaws the people thought they had?

This experiment was obviously set up so that the participants would receive positive feedback.The real world isn't like that,although I personally have never been insulted in RL,just online.

Hi Fluffy

The reality is in the real world there are those who who treat people nicely and others who need to insult others to feel good about themselves. The reality is and as proven here many think you are lovely without even meeting you in person, that says much about how many nice people there really are.
The fact is it was not a set up, that was the point being made.

This proves my point if you look at things negatively you will not take any positives away from this, hence why and I understand it is difficult with negative thoughts outnumbering the good ones, you just need to concentrate on the positive ones so that the negative ones diminish.

x

Didge wrote:

FluffyBunny wrote:That's an inspiring video and so is the Dove Beauty one,I also watched.

But what if the strangers behind the mirror had been insulting and confirmed the flaws the people thought they had?

This experiment was obviously set up so that the participants would receive positive feedback.The real world isn't like that,although I personally have never been insulted in RL,just online.

Hi Fluffy

The reality is in the real world there are those who who treat people nicely and others who need to insult others to feel good about themselves. The reality is and as proven here many think you are lovely without even meeting you in person, that says much about how many nice people there really are.
The fact is it was not a set up, that was the point being made.

This proves my point if you look at things negatively you will not take any positives away from this, hence why and I understand it is difficult with negative thoughts outnumbering the good ones, you just need to concentrate on the positive ones so that the negative ones diminish.

x

I understand what you're saying   x

I like it that they included guys in this one -- not that it matters personally to me of course, because I've always been convinced of my constant devilish handsomeness, but I have read that other guys can feel self-conscious about their appearance   

Ben_Reilly wrote:I like it that they included guys in this one -- not that it matters personally to me of course, because I've always been convinced of my constant devilish handsomeness,  

You certainly have the vibe of a fiendish ladies man   

FluffyBunny wrote:

Ben_Reilly wrote:I like it that they included guys in this one -- not that it matters personally to me of course, because I've always been convinced of my constant devilish handsomeness,  

You certainly have the vibe of a fiendish ladies man   

         

It's all a front, deep down I'm shy and sensitive

Nice. I liked the dove one too.

It's true though that we are our own harshest critic.

I see that those people are generally young with the usual insecurities - ie, anything that's considered a bit "different" is a negative thing to them.

When do people first start thinking about the way they look? Little toddlers don't care what they look like, do they? They don't go around comparing themselves to other toddlers and get upset if they're not as "pretty".

I also noticed that the people were very happy when others said that the features they didn't like were fine. Why do they care what others think so much?

Once again, the message is that one should think positively about the way you look - ie, the features you were born with, but once again, I say that one should not care - ie just accept it and decide that it's nobody else's business.

FluffyBunny wrote:That's an inspiring video and so is the Dove Beauty one,I also watched.

But what if the strangers behind the mirror had been insulting and confirmed the flaws the people thought they had?

This experiment was obviously set up so that the participants would receive positive feedback.The real world isn't like that,although I personally have never been insulted in RL,just online.

Yes, it's very contrived. What if the people had been older and had talked about their wrinkles or sagging skin? Would the people behind the mirror have said - oh, I like that sagging skin?   

Raggamuffin wrote:

FluffyBunny wrote:That's an inspiring video and so is the Dove Beauty one,I also watched.

But what if the strangers behind the mirror had been insulting and confirmed the flaws the people thought they had?

This experiment was obviously set up so that the participants would receive positive feedback.The real world isn't like that,although I personally have never been insulted in RL,just online.

Yes, it's very contrived. What if the people had been older and had talked about their wrinkles or sagging skin? Would the people behind the mirror have said - oh, I like that sagging skin?   

Why is it contrived?

This proves my point on people who hold mainly negative views, they do not see the positive and intermediately assume it is contrived.
I do not even think people would comment if the people were older and stated they have saggy skin and would say the same if people were attractive, had a beautiful smile , were masculine, in fact I know many people who view photo's of elderly people say the same, only people with negative views think such poor perceptions of people

Raggamuffin wrote:I see that those people are generally young with the usual insecurities - ie, anything that's considered a bit "different" is a negative thing to them.

When do people first start thinking about the way they look? Little toddlers don't care what they look like, do they? They don't go around comparing themselves to other toddlers and get upset if they're not as "pretty".

I also noticed that the people were very happy when others said that the features they didn't like were fine. Why do they care what others think so much?

Once again, the message is that one should think positively about the way you look - ie, the features you were born with, but once again, I say that one should not care - ie just accept it and decide that it's nobody else's business.

You sound just like my mother on this subject when I discussed it with her(.Obviously I did not mention specifics.)

I think that should suitably horrify you.As you were   

Didge wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

Yes, it's very contrived. What if the people had been older and had talked about their wrinkles or sagging skin? Would the people behind the mirror have said - oh, I like that sagging skin?   

Why is it contrived?

This proves my point on people who hold mainly negative views, they do not see the positive and intermediately assume it is contrived.
I do not even think people would comment if the people were older and stated they have saggy skin and would say the same if people were attractive, had a beautiful smile , were masculine, in fact I know many people who view photo's of elderly people say the same, only people with negative views think such poor perceptions of people

I agree with you and I think in real life people are mostly very positive to and about each other.In real life people are allowed to be who they are,no one is really expected to meet an ideal,they carry on about their business.

Online,all that changes,People have to be perfect or they will be cruelly mocked.An elderly lady putting her photo up,to be honest I dread to think the abuse they would get.You are not allowed to be 'old'online or 'fat',infact unless you are completely perfect in every regard you've had it and even then I imagine people would invent flaws so they could have a go.

I honestly think it's something about the way people behave online rather in RL. When you see someone in RL who may look older or overweight (as examples)you would never dream of hurling abuse yet online throwing abuse is the norm.

Didge wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

Yes, it's very contrived. What if the people had been older and had talked about their wrinkles or sagging skin? Would the people behind the mirror have said - oh, I like that sagging skin?   

Why is it contrived?

This proves my point on people who hold mainly negative views, they do not see the positive and intermediately assume it is contrived.
I do not even think people would comment if the people were older and stated they have saggy skin and would say the same if people were attractive, had a beautiful smile , were masculine, in fact I know many people who view photo's of elderly people say the same, only people with negative views think such poor perceptions of people

It's contrived in the sense that all the people are pretty young, and the women in particular are what most people would consider pretty. Some of them had issues with their weight, but they didn't have anyone who was actually overweight. They didn't have anyone with features which some people would consider unattractive. The people behind the mirror all said positive things, and that seemed fake to me. I guess they edited out anything which wasn't positive.

Could the strangers hear what people in front of the mirror were saying? If someone stood there and said they had wrinkles and saggy skin, would the strangers have said they didn't or what?

FluffyBunny wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:I see that those people are generally young with the usual insecurities - ie, anything that's considered a bit "different" is a negative thing to them.

When do people first start thinking about the way they look? Little toddlers don't care what they look like, do they? They don't go around comparing themselves to other toddlers and get upset if they're not as "pretty".

I also noticed that the people were very happy when others said that the features they didn't like were fine. Why do they care what others think so much?

Once again, the message is that one should think positively about the way you look - ie, the features you were born with, but once again, I say that one should not care - ie just accept it and decide that it's nobody else's business.

You sound just like my mother on this subject when I discussed it with her(.Obviously I did not mention specifics.)

I think that should suitably horrify you.As you were   

Well your mother has been around a lot longer than you, so she's probably wiser than you.

FluffyBunny wrote:

Didge wrote:



Why is it contrived?

This proves my point on people who hold mainly negative views, they do not see the positive and intermediately assume it is contrived.
I do not even think people would comment if the people were older and stated they have saggy skin and would say the same if people were attractive, had a beautiful smile , were masculine, in fact I know many people who view photo's of elderly people say the same, only people with negative views think such poor perceptions of people

I agree with you and I think in real life people are mostly very positive to and about each other.In real life people are allowed to be who they are,no one is really expected to meet an ideal,they carry on about their business.

Online,all that changes,People have to be perfect or they will be cruelly mocked.An elderly lady putting her photo up,to be honest I dread to think the abuse they would get.You are not allowed to be 'old'online or 'fat',infact unless you are completely perfect in every regard you've had it and even then I imagine people would invent flaws so they could have a go.

I honestly think it's something about the way people behave online rather in RL. When you see someone in RL who may look older or overweight (as examples)you would never dream of hurling abuse yet online throwing abuse is the norm.

You can be mocked online for the way you look even if nobody has actually seen a photo of you.

Raggamuffin wrote:

Didge wrote:



Why is it contrived?

This proves my point on people who hold mainly negative views, they do not see the positive and intermediately assume it is contrived.
I do not even think people would comment if the people were older and stated they have saggy skin and would say the same if people were attractive, had a beautiful smile , were masculine, in fact I know many people who view photo's of elderly people say the same, only people with negative views think such poor perceptions of people

It's contrived in the sense that all the people are pretty young, and the women in particular are what most people would consider pretty. Some of them had issues with their weight, but they didn't have anyone who was actually overweight. They didn't have anyone with features which some people would consider unattractive. The people behind the mirror all said positive things, and that seemed fake to me. I guess they edited out anything which wasn't positive.

Could the strangers hear what people in front of the mirror were saying? If someone stood there and said they had wrinkles and saggy skin, would the strangers have said they didn't or what?

That is your assumption with again your views being negative to come to such a view. Again you view something as unattractive where I would not, what do you mean by unattractive? You see again a negative view, because it is what your conviction is to be unattractive. I may not be attracted to someone, that does not mean they are not attractive and even people are attracted to people who are overweight..

So again your views and perceptions are very negative, a view of the world you have created inside your own head, which is no doubt fueled by negativity you have received yourself

I'd like to know what they said about that girl's hair. They seemed to leave her out.

Raggamuffin wrote:

FluffyBunny wrote:

I agree with you and I think in real life people are mostly very positive to and about each other.In real life people are allowed to be who they are,no one is really expected to meet an ideal,they carry on about their business.

Online,all that changes,People have to be perfect or they will be cruelly mocked.An elderly lady putting her photo up,to be honest I dread to think the abuse they would get.You are not allowed to be 'old'online or 'fat',infact unless you are completely perfect in every regard you've had it and even then I imagine people would invent flaws so they could have a go.

I honestly think it's something about the way people behave online rather in RL. When you see someone in RL who may look older or overweight (as examples)you would never dream of hurling abuse yet online throwing abuse is the norm.

You can be mocked online for the way you look even if nobody has actually seen a photo of you.

Why would you want to mock the way a person looks if you have not even seen them?

Does anyone know any women who do not like to be told they look younger than they are? I bet they don't. Why is that? What's wrong with looking your age, and what's wrong with looking old?

Didge wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

You can be mocked online for the way you look even if nobody has actually seen a photo of you.

Why would you want to mock the way a person looks if you have not even seen them?

That's a question you need to ask those who do it, not me.

Raggamuffin wrote:

FluffyBunny wrote:

I agree with you and I think in real life people are mostly very positive to and about each other.In real life people are allowed to be who they are,no one is really expected to meet an ideal,they carry on about their business.

Online,all that changes,People have to be perfect or they will be cruelly mocked.An elderly lady putting her photo up,to be honest I dread to think the abuse they would get.You are not allowed to be 'old'online or 'fat',infact unless you are completely perfect in every regard you've had it and even then I imagine people would invent flaws so they could have a go.

I honestly think it's something about the way people behave online rather in RL. When you see someone in RL who may look older or overweight (as examples)you would never dream of hurling abuse yet online throwing abuse is the norm.

You can be mocked online for the way you look even if nobody has actually seen a photo of you.

When i told her people said I needed chin surgery she actually laughed.She said 'but that's so stupid.You know that's not true!'

But I had stopped knowing what was true and what wasn't.

Raggamuffin wrote:Does anyone know any women who do not like to be told they look younger than they are? I bet they don't. Why is that? What's wrong with looking your age, and what's wrong with looking old?

Yes my own mother, she actually looks 20 years younger than the fact she is 80, that is the Irish for you, but has never concerned herself at how old she looks.
The fact is many women would not either if the reality of having very attractive women plastered all over the media all the time, which as seen creates negative thoughts within women

FluffyBunny wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

You can be mocked online for the way you look even if nobody has actually seen a photo of you.

When i told her people said I needed chin surgery she actually laughed.She said 'but that's so stupid.You know that's not true!'

But I had stopped knowing what was true and what wasn't.

Who are you talking about?

Raggamuffin wrote:

Didge wrote:



Why would you want to mock the way a person looks if you have not even seen them?

That's a question you need to ask those who do it, not me.

I am asking your opinion, because I already know why people would do it, because they lack self esteem and need to make themselves feel better by being nasty to others, though it never truly makes them happy for doing it.

Didge wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:Does anyone know any women who do not like to be told they look younger than they are? I bet they don't. Why is that? What's wrong with looking your age, and what's wrong with looking old?

Yes my own mother, she actually looks 20 years younger than the fact she is 80, that is the Irish for you, but has never concerned herself at how old she looks.
The fact is many women would not either if the reality of having very attractive women plastered all over the media all the time, which as seen creates negative thoughts within women

Young attractive women you mean?

So is that why women in particular have insecurities about the way they look? I think it starts before then. It starts when they're still children. Maybe Barbie has a lot to answer for.

Didge wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

That's a question you need to ask those who do it, not me.

I am asking your opinion, because I already know why people would do it, because they lack self esteem and need to make themselves feel better by being nasty to others, though it never truly makes them happy for doing it.

That's probably true.

So why do people put their picture online if they know it's going to be mocked?

Raggamuffin wrote:

Didge wrote:


Yes my own mother, she actually looks 20 years younger than the fact she is 80, that is the Irish for you, but has never concerned herself at how old she looks.
The fact is many women would not either if the reality of having very attractive women plastered all over the media all the time, which as seen creates negative thoughts within women

Young attractive women you mean?

So is that why women in particular have insecurities about the way they look? I think it starts before then. It starts when they're still children. Maybe Barbie has a lot to answer for.

It does start very early because of how siblings and parents treat children, but again this adds to why some women feel insecure, it is manufactured into them from a very early age, when it never should be, again from negative perceptions on how people should look.
I agree on the doll aspect

Raggamuffin wrote:So why do people put their picture online if they know it's going to be mocked?

Courage.

Didge wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:So why do people put their picture online if they know it's going to be mocked?

Courage.

In what way is that courageous?

Raggamuffin wrote:

Didge wrote:


Courage.

In what way is that courageous?

They are taking head on their worst fears, hence the reason is for courage.

Didge wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

In what way is that courageous?

They are taking head on their worst fears, hence the reason is for courage.

What worst fears? That people will think they're unattractive?

Raggamuffin wrote:Does anyone know any women who do not like to be told they look younger than they are? I bet they don't. Why is that? What's wrong with looking your age, and what's wrong with looking old?

Nothing at all.I think the tyranny against women,especially from the media,saying they should not be allowed to age is very damaging. All these creams,lotions and potions that women are expected to purchase and it is all for nothing,because no one can stop themselves ageing.

I think the practice of Botox which is a poison being injected into the face shows how disturbed society's mindset towards ageing actually is.Things have gone very wrong somewhere.

Raggamuffin wrote:

Didge wrote:


They are taking head on their worst fears, hence the reason is for courage.

What worst fears? That people will think they're unattractive?

Basically yes, it is a double edged sword, where they seek acceptance for how they look but also genuinely fear how they look also knowing some people will mock them, hence courage!

Didge wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

It's contrived in the sense that all the people are pretty young, and the women in particular are what most people would consider pretty. Some of them had issues with their weight, but they didn't have anyone who was actually overweight. They didn't have anyone with features which some people would consider unattractive. The people behind the mirror all said positive things, and that seemed fake to me. I guess they edited out anything which wasn't positive.

Could the strangers hear what people in front of the mirror were saying? If someone stood there and said they had wrinkles and saggy skin, would the strangers have said they didn't or what?

That is your assumption with again your views being negative to come to such a view. Again you view something as unattractive where I would not, what do you mean by unattractive? You see again a negative view, because it is what your conviction is to be unattractive. I may not be attracted to someone, that does not mean they are not attractive and even people are attracted to people who are overweight..

So again your views and perceptions are very negative, a view of the world you have created inside your own head, which is no doubt fueled by negativity you have received yourself

I'm not positive or negative about the way I look.

Didge wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

What worst fears? That people will think they're unattractive?

Basically yes, it is a double edged sword, where they seek acceptance for how they look but also genuinely fear how they look also knowing some people will mock them, hence courage!

So they are seeking acceptance then? That brings me back to the question - why do they care what other people think about the way they look?

Raggamuffin wrote:

Didge wrote:



That is your assumption with again your views being negative to come to such a view. Again you view something as unattractive where I would not, what do you mean by unattractive? You see again a negative view, because it is what your conviction is to be unattractive. I may not be attracted to someone, that does not mean they are not attractive and even people are attracted to people who are overweight..

So again your views and perceptions are very negative, a view of the world you have created inside your own head, which is no doubt fueled by negativity you have received yourself

I'm not positive or negative about the way I look.

I never said you were by the way you look, but you hold negative views as seen by comments here alone, you take negative views from a test and not the positives from it.

Didge wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

Young attractive women you mean?

So is that why women in particular have insecurities about the way they look? I think it starts before then. It starts when they're still children. Maybe Barbie has a lot to answer for.

It does start very early because of how siblings and parents treat children, but again this adds to why some women feel insecure, it is manufactured into them from a very early age, when it never should be, again from negative perceptions on how people should look.
I agree on the doll aspect

So do i if i'm honest Didge.
I am acceptable in the eyes of many because I conform to an ideal but its hard work keeping it up and it's fake and its tiring.
I think women should just be allowed to be themselves but we are too far down a road now where women are expected to meet a certain standard.

Didge wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

I'm not positive or negative about the way I look.

I never said you were by the way you look, but you hold negative views as seen by comments here alone, you take negative views from a test and not the positives from it.

Because I think it's contrived? It clearly is - it's not realistic.

Raggamuffin wrote:

Didge wrote:



Basically yes, it is a double edged sword, where they seek acceptance for how they look but also genuinely fear how they look also knowing some people will mock them, hence courage!

So they are seeking acceptance then? That brings me back to the question - why do they care what other people think about the way they look?

Because they have low self esteem, hence again courage, in fact it shows they are willing to take on their worst fears, hence again courage, I find that encouraging that people wish to tackle the fears they have, it is the start to overcoming your worst fears.

FluffyBunny wrote:

Didge wrote:



It does start very early because of how siblings and parents treat children, but again this adds to why some women feel insecure, it is manufactured into them from a very early age, when it never should be, again from negative perceptions on how people should look.
I agree on the doll aspect

So do i if i'm honest Didge.
I am acceptable in the eyes of many because I conform to an ideal but its hard work keeping it up and it's fake and its tiring.
I think women should just be allowed to be themselves but we are too far down a road now where women are expected to meet a certain standard.

Who says women aren't allowed to be themselves? The only person who has decided that is you.

Raggamuffin wrote:

Didge wrote:



I never said you were by the way you look, but you hold negative views as seen by comments here alone, you take negative views from a test and not the positives from it.

Because I think it's contrived? It clearly is - it's not realistic.

You see negative view points again because you yourself hold a negative view to how people perceive others.

Raggamuffin wrote:

FluffyBunny wrote:

So do i if i'm honest Didge.
I am acceptable in the eyes of many because I conform to an ideal but its hard work keeping it up and it's fake and its tiring.
I think women should just be allowed to be themselves but we are too far down a road now where women are expected to meet a certain standard.

Who says women aren't allowed to be themselves? The only person who has decided that is you.

No,society has decided it. The media has decided it.

Didge wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

So they are seeking acceptance then? That brings me back to the question - why do they care what other people think about the way they look?

Because they have low self esteem, hence again courage, in fact it shows they are willing to take on their worst fears, hence again courage, I find that encouraging that people wish to tackle the fears they have, it is the start to overcoming your worst fears.

So you think that anyone who puts their photo online has low self esteem?

Raggamuffin wrote:

FluffyBunny wrote:

So do i if i'm honest Didge.
I am acceptable in the eyes of many because I conform to an ideal but its hard work keeping it up and it's fake and its tiring.
I think women should just be allowed to be themselves but we are too far down a road now where women are expected to meet a certain standard.

Who says women aren't allowed to be themselves? The only person who has decided that is you.

Really?
Since when did I decide that?
I never did, this again shows another negative view point you have

FluffyBunny wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

Who says women aren't allowed to be themselves? The only person who has decided that is you.

No,society has decided it. The media has decided it.

So why do you think you have to obey them?

Didge wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

Who says women aren't allowed to be themselves? The only person who has decided that is you.

Really?
Since when did I decide that?
I never did, this again shows another negative view point you have

I was not replying to you. Read my posts properly.

Raggamuffin wrote:

Didge wrote:


Because they have low self esteem, hence again courage, in fact it shows they are willing to take on their worst fears, hence again courage, I find that encouraging that people wish to tackle the fears they have, it is the start to overcoming your worst fears.

So you think that anyone who puts their photo online has low self esteem?

Nope, I think some do, others are very comfortable with their looks and have no issue with placing their photo online, a good example of this is Eddie. I am showing about those who do have low self esteem

Raggamuffin wrote:

Didge wrote:


Really?
Since when did I decide that?
I never did, this again shows another negative view point you have

I was not replying to you. Read my posts properly.

I did read your post where you are stating Fluffy decides women are not allowed to be themselves, hence why I am saying I am not stopping you from having negative views, all I do is encourage you not to hold negative views, you yourself decide though, not me. She is not stopping you either