Do you ever feel depressed and not good enough?

by Fluffyx Fri May 23, 2014 1:09 pm

First topic message reminder :

Just wondering.

Sorry,its not a very jolly thread Razz

by Raggamuffin Fri May 23, 2014 7:34 pm

Didge wrote:
FluffyBunny wrote:

Yes I was starting to get roped in,no offence to Ragga.I just feel I should respond to posts because I don't actually dislike the lady but it does upset me to even think about all that.

No offense to ragga either but she is advocating negative views, one to claim it is okay not to care, which I do not advocate and also think is a false presence, because we all care about something, all that is doing is blocking out emotions by not caring and in the end like a champagne bottle with at some point explode in a mass of emotions that can break some people. So sometimes step away and what is needed is to learn to control emotions, easier said than done, I still struggle at times, but for the main am very happy.
Belief is the key and I know you have it in you to believe in yourself.

I'm not advocating negative views - you must have misread my posts. Once again, I'm saying don't care about what you look like or whether you're clever or not - that sort of thing. That's not negative, it's very liberating actually. Trying to force yourself to believe that you're this or that will just tire you out and make it worse.

by Guest Fri May 23, 2014 7:36 pm

Raggamuffin wrote:
Didge wrote:

Yes they can change and have seen many people do this first hand, who suffered depression, because what you are saying is to teach a person not to care, where does that lack of care lead to when we all have an innate ability to care, which basically means to give up natural instincts, to the point it advocates we care about nothing, including our own families, children etc. So what you do is you work on the positives, because to not care is a negative. To not thus care leaves a feeling of feeling empty, where if you are blocking all feelings you can never truly express love to anyone.

I'm talking about someone's basic personality. I don't believe they can change that.

You should try the not caring thing - it works. I'm not talking about caring for others, I'm talking about not caring what you look like, or whether you're clever or not - that sort of thing. A lot of depression is caused by introspection and excessive rumination - about events or about one's own personality and perceived failings.

No such thing as basic personality, and again people take pride in appearance, what is the harm in that? What is needed is to "accept" how you look, not have view not to care about how you look because that again can lead to many negative emotions taking control

by Guest Fri May 23, 2014 7:37 pm

feelthelove wrote:
Vicar of Dibley wrote:I hope fluffy gets more care from her GP than I have had in the past year , I had a near break down last December and had to stop working because of it , was given medication and an appointment was made to have counselling , I had one appointment 29th Jan and was told I definitely needed more but it would be in 6 weeks time , I am still waiting .

Sorry to hear that Try to get a referral via your Doctor to Mind. They might have a waiting list but you wouldn't have waited this long. They don't charge a set fee but ask you to pay what you can afford for one on one counselling.

They also can offer courses to help you cope with various aspects of day to day life VOD. Don't let things drag on, sometimes you just have to keep pushing to get the help you need x

If you are in a position to pay for private counselling I would do so. As frustrating as it is mental health problems just don't get the attention they deserve

thank you ftl, the many benefits to being in a church family is that it is full of professionals, our Pastor is a GP and one of the members who attend the church is a psychologist and has offered to see me . I can call him anytime if I decide to accept his help. I need to let him help me I know I do this thread might just have convinced me .

by Guest Fri May 23, 2014 7:37 pm

Raggamuffin wrote:
Didge wrote:

No offense to ragga either but she is advocating negative views, one to claim it is okay not to care, which I do not advocate and also think is a false presence, because we all care about something, all that is doing is blocking out emotions by not caring and in the end like a champagne bottle with at some point explode in a mass of emotions that can break some people. So sometimes step away and what is needed is to learn to control emotions, easier said than done, I still struggle at times, but for the main am very happy.
Belief is the key and I know you have it in you to believe in yourself.

I'm not advocating negative views - you must have misread my posts. Once again, I'm saying don't care about what you look like or whether you're clever or not - that sort of thing. That's not negative, it's very liberating actually. Trying to force yourself to believe that you're this or that will just tire you out and make it worse.

The views you present are negative, to not care, is negative, to accept is positive, can you see the difference?
Actually you can make yourself believe anything if you want to and this comes about from self belief not having a view not to care.

by Raggamuffin Fri May 23, 2014 7:38 pm

Didge wrote:
Raggamuffin wrote:

I'm talking about someone's basic personality. I don't believe they can change that.

You should try the not caring thing - it works. I'm not talking about caring for others, I'm talking about not caring what you look like, or whether you're clever or not - that sort of thing. A lot of depression is caused by introspection and excessive rumination - about events or about one's own personality and perceived failings.

No such thing as basic personality, and again people take pride in appearance, what is the harm in that? What is needed is to "accept" how you look, not have view not to care about how you look because that again can lead to many negative emotions taking control

Of course there's such a thing as basic personality. I'm not saying you should go around being unwashed or whatever. However, all this obsessing about the way they look is just making some people depressed IMO. There will always be someone better looking or more clever or more confident, so what's the point is worrying about it?

To me, accepting the way you look is the same as not caring. It means not trying to convince yourself of anything.

by Raggamuffin Fri May 23, 2014 7:38 pm

Didge wrote:
Raggamuffin wrote:

I'm not advocating negative views - you must have misread my posts. Once again, I'm saying don't care about what you look like or whether you're clever or not - that sort of thing. That's not negative, it's very liberating actually. Trying to force yourself to believe that you're this or that will just tire you out and make it worse.

The views you present are negative, to not care, is negative, to accept is positive, can you see the difference?
Actually you can make yourself believe anything if you want to and this comes about from self belief not having a view not to care.

They're not negative. I'll just ignore you from now on because you clearly have no idea what I'm saying.

by Fluffyx Fri May 23, 2014 7:40 pm

Vicar of Dibley wrote:
feelthelove wrote:

Sorry to hear that Try to get a referral via your Doctor to Mind. They might have a waiting list but you wouldn't have waited this long. They don't charge a set fee but ask you to pay what you can afford for one on one counselling.

They also can offer courses to help you cope with various aspects of day to day life VOD. Don't let things drag on, sometimes you just have to keep pushing to get the help you need x

If you are in a position to pay for private counselling I would do so. As frustrating as it is mental health problems just don't get the attention they deserve

thank you ftl, the many benefits to being in a church family is that it is full of professionals, our Pastor is a GP and one of the members who attend the church is a psychologist and has offered to see me . I can call him anytime if I decide to accept his help. I need to let him help me I know I do this thread might just have convinced me .

Ah so something positive has come from my maudlin mumblings.!

Yes,let him help you. I don't find talking therapies helpful but they may be extremely beneficial for you x

by Raggamuffin Fri May 23, 2014 7:42 pm

You see, some people rely on talking to others to be able to convince themselves that they're worth something. Why is that?

by Guest Fri May 23, 2014 7:43 pm

Raggamuffin wrote:
Didge wrote:

The views you present are negative, to not care, is negative, to accept is positive, can you see the difference?
Actually you can make yourself believe anything if you want to and this comes about from self belief not having a view not to care.

They're not negative. I'll just ignore you from now on because you clearly have no idea what I'm saying.

You see negative again, why tell me you are going to ignore me, when if you wanted to, you could just ignore me? By doing this you are actually playing onto emotions, showing in fact you do care to the point you make a declaration. What it shows also is you do not like your views to be challenged and retreat when a debate becomes to difficult for you to continue debating, because you have exhausted most arguments and are struggling to back your stance. This is the case because a person of conviction will with passion place good sound points to why their view makes sense, not shy away when challenged, because they have belief in themselves to show conviction to their beliefs

by Fluffyx Fri May 23, 2014 7:44 pm

Didge wrote:
Raggamuffin wrote:

I'm talking about someone's basic personality. I don't believe they can change that.

You should try the not caring thing - it works. I'm not talking about caring for others, I'm talking about not caring what you look like, or whether you're clever or not - that sort of thing. A lot of depression is caused by introspection and excessive rumination - about events or about one's own personality and perceived failings.

No such thing as basic personality, and again people take pride in appearance, what is the harm in that? What is needed is to "accept" how you look, not have view not to care about how you look because that again can lead to many negative emotions taking control

Yes,acceptance is what I need to learn.
You and Eddie have been very kind,I will bow out now and your words have helped more than you know x

by Guest Fri May 23, 2014 7:47 pm

FluffyBunny wrote:
Didge wrote:

No such thing as basic personality, and again people take pride in appearance, what is the harm in that? What is needed is to "accept" how you look, not have view not to care about how you look because that again can lead to many negative emotions taking control

Yes,acceptance is what I need to learn.
You and Eddie have been very kind,I will bow out now and your words have helped more than you know x

No problems, so hope you have a nice weekend Fluffy

Hope you have a nice weekend too Ragga, again no offence meant, just will put my points across

by Guest Fri May 23, 2014 7:48 pm

FluffyBunny wrote:
Vicar of Dibley wrote:

thank you ftl, the many benefits to being in a church family is that it is full of professionals, our Pastor is a GP and one of the members who attend the church is a psychologist and has offered to see me . I can call him anytime if I decide to accept his help. I need to let him help me I know I do this thread might just have convinced me .

Ah so something positive has come from my maudlin mumblings.!

Yes,let him help you. I don't find talking therapies helpful but they may be extremely beneficial for you x

thank you and yes your mumblings have helped Smile

, I actually feel that speaking to him is easier than the counsellor not sure why .
I will text him and go early to church Sunday and see how it goes . Made me laugh when I showed him and the Pastor the medication I was prescribed both agreeing they were fine , the reason being is that I mentioned that I had had a bad reaction a few years back to antidepressants so they wanted to reassure me also .

by eddie Fri May 23, 2014 7:48 pm

FluffyBunny wrote:
Didge wrote:

No such thing as basic personality, and again people take pride in appearance, what is the harm in that? What is needed is to "accept" how you look, not have view not to care about how you look because that again can lead to many negative emotions taking control

Yes,acceptance is what I need to learn.
You and Eddie have been very kind,I will bow out now and your words have helped more than you know x

Fluffy, I'm a good listener.
PM if you need a girlie chat x

sunny

by Guest Fri May 23, 2014 7:50 pm

Vicar of Dibley wrote:
feelthelove wrote:

Sorry to hear that Try to get a referral via your Doctor to Mind. They might have a waiting list but you wouldn't have waited this long. They don't charge a set fee but ask you to pay what you can afford for one on one counselling.

They also can offer courses to help you cope with various aspects of day to day life VOD. Don't let things drag on, sometimes you just have to keep pushing to get the help you need x

If you are in a position to pay for private counselling I would do so. As frustrating as it is mental health problems just don't get the attention they deserve

thank you ftl, the many benefits to being in a church family is that it is full of professionals, our Pastor is a GP and one of the members who attend the church is a psychologist and has offered to see me . I can call him anytime if I decide to accept his help. I need to let him help me I know I do this thread might just have convinced me .

You're very welcome VOD I love you

x

Hang on in there with the counselling, I've had some in the past and was very sceptical. In fact the first couple of sessions I hated it and thought is was doing more harm than good but eventually it all starts making sense. It's not easy, lots of soul searching and emotion but it'll change your life.

by Guest Fri May 23, 2014 7:59 pm

that's true ftl, I had an hour with this lady and I couldn't believe that I went right back to my childhood five years old wow that's a long time ago , there are deep rooted hurts there too I don't know how that can cause problems though , my faith helps a lot and I have a very supporting husband and church family .

by Guest Fri May 23, 2014 8:05 pm

Vicar of Dibley wrote:that's true ftl, I had an hour with this lady and I couldn't believe that I went right back to my childhood five years old wow that's a long time ago , there are deep rooted hurts there too I don't know how that can cause problems though , my faith helps a lot and I have a very supporting husband and church family .

It's hard VOD but then most things worth having are. I hated my counsellor at the beginning but when it came time to say goodbye I Do you ever feel depressed and not good enough? - Page 2 Cry_213

Do you ever feel depressed and not good enough? - Page 2 Cry_213

buckets. Life changing x

by Guest Fri May 23, 2014 8:06 pm

Vicar of Dibley wrote:that's true ftl, I had an hour with this lady and I couldn't believe that I went right back to my childhood five years old wow that's a long time ago , there are deep rooted hurts there too I don't know how that can cause problems though , my faith helps a lot and I have a very supporting husband and church family .

Is where many problems start, where to me where one problem has allowed to fester and gone unresolved it actually allows many things that were never a problem to become problems. It can be like a virus, because on aspect of that problem then leads to countless problems formed from that single one. Once we recognise that first problem and deal with it many of the other problems cease to become problems at all.
Hence why the earliest problems faced in life are the hardest to resolve, as they are deep locked in within ourselves and not easily recognised as a problem to start with, mainly as we were too young at the time to understand.

by Guest Fri May 23, 2014 8:14 pm

it is true didge and I need to sort this out and quick , doctors Monday see what is going on with the counselling .

ftl your a big softy lol

by Guest Fri May 23, 2014 8:15 pm

Vicar of Dibley wrote:it is true didge and I need to sort this out and quick , doctors Monday see what is going on with the counselling .

ftl your a big softy lol

Dibs, do not rush it, allow it to come to you to resolve, all the best for Monday as well!

by Guest Fri May 23, 2014 8:25 pm

Vicar of Dibley wrote:it is true didge and I need to sort this out and quick , doctors Monday see what is going on with the counselling .

ftl your a big softy lol

Do you ever feel depressed and not good enough? - Page 2 Girl-m20

Hard as nails me grrrrrrrrrrrrrr Do you ever feel depressed and not good enough? - Page 2 Simba_14

x

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