Do you ever feel depressed and not good enough?

Just wondering.

Sorry,its not a very jolly thread   

Its just me then.Lol

Ok   

No fluffy, I don't.
I have days where I feel a little irritated and grumpy perhaps, put-upon by people, but I am a natural optimist. I rarely stay down for long as I always count my blessings.
I suppose I sound like a right numpty lol.


Why do you feel like that? You're young, smart, pretty and have a good butt!
What's the problem? Xxx

I don't feel like that often. When I do, I usually come to the conclusion that I've put some sort of unrealistic expectation on myself, like thinking I should have my boss's boss's job by now or something

Only after reading one of Didge's cut 'n pastes...

Tesstacious wrote:Only after reading one of Didge's cut 'n pastes...

They make me feel so superior.

To him.

eddie wrote:No fluffy, I don't.
I have days where I feel a little irritated and grumpy perhaps, put-upon by people, but I am a natural optimist. I rarely stay down for long as I always count my blessings.
I suppose I sound like a right numpty lol.


Why do you feel like that? You're young, smart, pretty and have a good butt!
What's the problem? Xxx

I have depression anyway and people elsewhere said I didn't look human and I began to believe them.They kept on and on saying that i was revolting,repulsive and worthless.I lost weight and was sick and my bloke was furious I was engaging with these people.

I still haven't got over it tbh but am trying.Thankyou for your kind words Eddie xx.Them saying I was worthless wouldn't have worked unless I already thought it so i can't blame it all on the bullying.

Ben_Reilly wrote:I don't feel like that often. When I do, I usually come to the conclusion that I've put some sort of unrealistic expectation on myself, like thinking I should have my boss's boss's job by now or something

Lol   

You are owner of this forum,you have surpassed all possible achievement  ::ftlcheer:: ::ftlcheer:: 

The human mind believes what you tell it to believe.  If you tell yourself you are not attractive, or lack intelligence...you will come to believe it.  

Even though low self-esteem begins with parents, you can actually control it yourself.  Look up affirmation.  You can begin to change your self-talk, and eventually your self-view by introducing into your mind small phrases you repeat over and over.

Affirmation only works under certain conditions.  So your phrases must be personal, positive and present.

It has to be personal, because you can only change yourself.  

It has to be positive, because you can't create a negative (it doesn't exist).  So you never give yourself negative advice--don't drink and get drunk--but always give yourself positive advice--do keep a clear and alert mind.  In fact, if you use a negative thought you will draw into your mind the negative idea.  Try an experiment...say to yourself: there is not an elephant in the room.  i dare you...you are thinking about an elephant, eh?  Lol.  So, use only positive thoughts.

Finally, always speak in the present tense--I am sober or I have clear open lungs (re: smoking)--and never speak in the future tense: I will stop drinking or stop smoking.  How many times do you say I'm gonna do that, and never do?  The future is never going to happen; only the present happens.

Remember those three things and begin to develop positive affirmations about yourself and you will find within 21-days your outlook will begin improving immensely.  Repeat them in the morning, in front of the mirror; while driving to and from work; and if you meditate, while in a meditative state.  Affirmation.  Look it up.  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-carmen-harra/affirmations_b_3527028.html

FluffyBunny wrote:

eddie wrote:No fluffy, I don't.
I have days where I feel a little irritated and grumpy perhaps, put-upon by people, but I am a natural optimist. I rarely stay down for long as I always count my blessings.
I suppose I sound like a right numpty lol.


Why do you feel like that? You're young, smart, pretty and have a good butt!
What's the problem? Xxx

I have depression anyway and people elsewhere said I didn't look human and I began to believe them.They kept on and on saying that i was revolting,repulsive and worthless.I lost weight and was sick and my bloke was furious I was engaging with these people.

I still haven't got over it tbh but am trying.Thankyou for your kind words Eddie xx.Them saying I was worthless wouldn't have worked unless I already thought it so i can't blame it all on the bullying.

Oh fluffy! That's awful! I'm blessed with a pretty thick skin so I could never know how that must feel!

You come across as a strong, independent, free-thinker. You're obviously gorgeous and those posters were either blind or jealous!!! FFS!

Fuck them!!! Fuck them all!

Tell them Edds said they're all turds in a birdbath.   

Please doesn't let that happen to you again. And as quill has rightly said; you programme your own mind so don't ever ever tell yourself you're worthless again!!

 :astwinsas:

eddie wrote:

FluffyBunny wrote:

I have depression anyway and people elsewhere said I didn't look human and I began to believe them.They kept on and on saying that i was revolting,repulsive and worthless.I lost weight and was sick and my bloke was furious I was engaging with these people.

I still haven't got over it tbh but am trying.Thankyou for your kind words Eddie xx.Them saying I was worthless wouldn't have worked unless I already thought it so i can't blame it all on the bullying.

Oh fluffy! That's awful! I'm blessed with a pretty thick skin so I could never know how that must feel!

You come across as a strong, independent, free-thinker. You're obviously gorgeous and those posters were either blind or jealous!!! FFS!

Fuck them!!! Fuck them all!

Tell them Edds said they're all turds in a birdbath.   

Please doesn't let that happen to you again. And as quill has rightly said; you programme your own mind so don't ever ever tell yourself you're worthless again!!

 :astwinsas:

Great advice Eddie Have you had any counselling FluffyBunny?  It can really help make sense of it all.  People can be cruel but that says more about them than you x

I do sometimes, recently because of my parents my dad is so ill right now he has Parkinson's and his voice is failing now we hardly understand him and my mum can't walk very far and has other health problems .
My eldest son just had a second op on his elbow and I have been looking after my 2 year old grandson since he had the op and his wife went back to work, I do feel generally fun down right now because I am a full time carer for my parents and on top of that looking after grandson . I feel crappy because I am 50 in September ha ha .

I just realized I am probably doing far too much right now , maybe I need a holiday   

FluffyBunny wrote:

eddie wrote:No fluffy, I don't.
I have days where I feel a little irritated and grumpy perhaps, put-upon by people, but I am a natural optimist. I rarely stay down for long as I always count my blessings.
I suppose I sound like a right numpty lol.


Why do you feel like that? You're young, smart, pretty and have a good butt!
What's the problem? Xxx

I have depression anyway and people elsewhere said I didn't look human and I began to believe them.They kept on and on saying that i was revolting,repulsive and worthless.I lost weight and was sick and my bloke was furious I was engaging with these people.

I still haven't got over it tbh but am trying.Thankyou for your kind words Eddie xx.Them saying I was worthless wouldn't have worked unless I already thought it so i can't blame it all on the bullying.

One of the hardest things to do is gain self belief, to some it comes easy and others not who are plagued by any small criticism, that already plays upon how they themselves feel and in many cases people are not aware or even sensitive to that. You can blame it on bullying because in reality if a person has grown up to be made to feel of low self worth it certainly started with people making slights about your looks or what you looked like, to the point of a lack of love expressed, to make that person feel, that it was they themselves was the reason why that lack of love was not forth coming, when nothing they did was the reason .

Sorry you are going through this and imagine it has plagued you for a very long time and there is no easy fix to gain self esteem, but to me and I really do mean this, my dad always said all women are beautiful, only that are some are just prettier than others. He is right and the thing is you are beautiful, but it becomes difficult to accept if and when people have knocked your self esteem. I have faith in you, as I am sure many do and I know you have the ability to believe in yourself. Take the fact I see your convictions and passion that you place into your postings, which shows you unduly care about a great many things, of which is a noble attribute, so take heart, because if you look deep within yourself, past the fears you have, you will see there is much wonderful and great about yourself.

eddie wrote:

FluffyBunny wrote:

I have depression anyway and people elsewhere said I didn't look human and I began to believe them.They kept on and on saying that i was revolting,repulsive and worthless.I lost weight and was sick and my bloke was furious I was engaging with these people.

I still haven't got over it tbh but am trying.Thankyou for your kind words Eddie xx.Them saying I was worthless wouldn't have worked unless I already thought it so i can't blame it all on the bullying.

Oh fluffy! That's awful! I'm blessed with a pretty thick skin so I could never know how that must feel!

You come across as a strong, independent, free-thinker. You're obviously gorgeous and those posters were either blind or jealous!!! FFS!

Fuck them!!! Fuck them all!

Tell them Edds said they're all turds in a birdbath.   

Please doesn't let that happen to you again. And as quill has rightly said; you programme your own mind so don't ever ever tell yourself you're worthless again!!

 :astwinsas:

I concur with FTL: Great advice edds xxxx

Didge wrote:

FluffyBunny wrote:

I have depression anyway and people elsewhere said I didn't look human and I began to believe them.They kept on and on saying that i was revolting,repulsive and worthless.I lost weight and was sick and my bloke was furious I was engaging with these people.

I still haven't got over it tbh but am trying.Thankyou for your kind words Eddie xx.Them saying I was worthless wouldn't have worked unless I already thought it so i can't blame it all on the bullying.

One of the hardest things to do is gain self belief, to some it comes easy and others not who are plagued by any small criticism, that already plays upon how they themselves feel and in many cases people are not aware or even sensitive to that. You can blame it on bullying because in reality if a person has grown up to be made to feel of low self worth it certainly started with people making slights about your looks or what you looked like, to the point of a lack of love expressed, to make that person feel, that it was they themselves was the reason why that lack of love was not forth coming, when nothing they did was the reason .

Sorry you are going through this and imagine it has plagued you for a very long time and there is no easy fix to gain self esteem, but to me and I really do mean this, my dad always said all women are beautiful, only that are some are just prettier than others. He is right and the thing is you are beautiful, but it becomes difficult to accept if and when people have knocked your self esteem. I have faith in you, as I am sure many do and I know you have the ability to believe in yourself. Take the fact I see your convictions and passion that you place into your postings, which shows you unduly care about a great many things, of which is a noble attribute, so take heart, because if you look deep within yourself, past the fears you have, you will see there is much wonderful and great about yourself.

Nice post Didge.

eddie wrote:

FluffyBunny wrote:

I have depression anyway and people elsewhere said I didn't look human and I began to believe them.They kept on and on saying that i was revolting,repulsive and worthless.I lost weight and was sick and my bloke was furious I was engaging with these people.

I still haven't got over it tbh but am trying.Thankyou for your kind words Eddie xx.Them saying I was worthless wouldn't have worked unless I already thought it so i can't blame it all on the bullying.

Oh fluffy! That's awful! I'm blessed with a pretty thick skin so I could never know how that must feel!

You come across as a strong, independent, free-thinker. You're obviously gorgeous and those posters were either blind or jealous!!! FFS!

Fuck them!!! Fuck them all!

Tell them Edds said they're all turds in a birdbath.   

Please doesn't let that happen to you again. And as quill has rightly said; you programme your own mind so don't ever ever tell yourself you're worthless again!!

 :astwinsas:

Lol if they continue I may well say Eddie says 'you are all turds in a birdbath'   

Thankyou Eddie,that means alot xx

I understand people with a normal healthy self image don't understand how cyberbullying can affect adults as they would just think 'what rot' and turn the computer off. When you're depressed though these negative affirmations just prove what you already thought about yourself.

I am going to try positive affirmations,I think. Its just difficult to change what is a core belief and has been for some time.

Tesstacious wrote:

Didge wrote:


One of the hardest things to do is gain self belief, to some it comes easy and others not who are plagued by any small criticism, that already plays upon how they themselves feel and in many cases people are not aware or even sensitive to that. You can blame it on bullying because in reality if a person has grown up to be made to feel of low self worth it certainly started with people making slights about your looks or what you looked like, to the point of a lack of love expressed, to make that person feel, that it was they themselves was the reason why that lack of love was not forth coming, when nothing they did was the reason .

Sorry you are going through this and imagine it has plagued you for a very long time and there is no easy fix to gain self esteem, but to me and I really do mean this, my dad always said all women are beautiful, only that are some are just prettier than others. He is right and the thing is you are beautiful, but it becomes difficult to accept if and when people have knocked your self esteem. I have faith in you, as I am sure many do and I know you have the ability to believe in yourself. Take the fact I see your convictions and passion that you place into your postings, which shows you unduly care about a great many things, of which is a noble attribute, so take heart, because if you look deep within yourself, past the fears you have, you will see there is much wonderful and great about yourself.

Nice post Didge.

Thank you.

What's wrong with being unattractive anyway?

David wrote:

eddie wrote:

Oh fluffy! That's awful! I'm blessed with a pretty thick skin so I could never know how that must feel!

You come across as a strong, independent, free-thinker. You're obviously gorgeous and those posters were either blind or jealous!!! FFS!

Fuck them!!! Fuck them all!

Tell them Edds said they're all turds in a birdbath.   

Please doesn't let that happen to you again. And as quill has rightly said; you programme your own mind so don't ever ever tell yourself you're worthless again!!

 :astwinsas:

I concur with FTL:  Great advice edds xxxx

Yeah...I want eds on my side next time the blue meanys come.  :-:cawg:-:  I like it eds.   

FluffyBunny wrote:

eddie wrote:No fluffy, I don't.
I have days where I feel a little irritated and grumpy perhaps, put-upon by people, but I am a natural optimist. I rarely stay down for long as I always count my blessings.
I suppose I sound like a right numpty lol.


Why do you feel like that? You're young, smart, pretty and have a good butt!
What's the problem? Xxx

I have depression anyway and people elsewhere said I didn't look human and I began to believe them.They kept on and on saying that i was revolting,repulsive and worthless.I lost weight and was sick and my bloke was furious I was engaging with these people.

I still haven't got over it tbh but am trying.Thankyou for your kind words Eddie xx.Them saying I was worthless wouldn't have worked unless I already thought it so i can't blame it all on the bullying.

You said you wouldn't do this any more.

Didge wrote:

FluffyBunny wrote:

I have depression anyway and people elsewhere said I didn't look human and I began to believe them.They kept on and on saying that i was revolting,repulsive and worthless.I lost weight and was sick and my bloke was furious I was engaging with these people.

I still haven't got over it tbh but am trying.Thankyou for your kind words Eddie xx.Them saying I was worthless wouldn't have worked unless I already thought it so i can't blame it all on the bullying.

One of the hardest things to do is gain self belief, to some it comes easy and others not who are plagued by any small criticism, that already plays upon how they themselves feel and in many cases people are not aware or even sensitive to that. You can blame it on bullying because in reality if a person has grown up to be made to feel of low self worth it certainly started with people making slights about your looks or what you looked like, to the point of a lack of love expressed, to make that person feel, that it was they themselves was the reason why that lack of love was not forth coming, when nothing they did was the reason .

Sorry you are going through this and imagine it has plagued you for a very long time and there is no easy fix to gain self esteem, but to me and I really do mean this, my dad always said all women are beautiful, only that are some are just prettier than others. He is right and the thing is you are beautiful, but it becomes difficult to accept if and when people have knocked your self esteem. I have faith in you, as I am sure many do and I know you have the ability to believe in yourself. Take the fact I see your convictions and passion that you place into your postings, which shows you unduly care about a great many things, of which is a noble attribute, so take heart, because if you look deep within yourself, past the fears you have, you will see there is much wonderful and great about yourself.

Thanks Didge,I do have the ability to believe in myself.They liked to tell me how stupid I was also and although I may not be the most intelligent person I also know that I am not 'stupid'.

That is a really kind supportive post and it helps,thankyou.

I don't really want to labour the point as it will be discussed elsewhere but I needed to hear something positive.

Thankyou.x

Fluffbunny wrote:I am going to try positive affirmations,I think. Its just difficult to change what is a core belief and has been for some time.

No it isn't hard at all. Try it...they say 21- to 30-days. That's the beauty of it. And wow, do you grow...you won't know yourself at the next party.

Gud luck hon. You can do it...don't ever let anyone tell you different.

FluffyBunny wrote:

eddie wrote:

Oh fluffy! That's awful! I'm blessed with a pretty thick skin so I could never know how that must feel!

You come across as a strong, independent, free-thinker. You're obviously gorgeous and those posters were either blind or jealous!!! FFS!

Fuck them!!! Fuck them all!

Tell them Edds said they're all turds in a birdbath.   

Please doesn't let that happen to you again. And as quill has rightly said; you programme your own mind so don't ever ever tell yourself you're worthless again!!

 :astwinsas:

Lol if they continue I may well say Eddie says 'you are all turds in a birdbath'   

Thankyou Eddie,that means alot xx

I understand people with a normal healthy self image don't understand how cyberbullying can affect adults as  they would just think 'what rot' and turn the computer off. When you're depressed though these negative affirmations just prove what you already thought about yourself.

I am going to try positive affirmations,I think. Its just difficult to change what is a core belief and has been for some time.

To be honest, I can concur with much of what Eddie says, but the one point I do not is to go down the road of what can lead to hate and being abusive back does not and will not make yourself feel any better in the long term ( not knocking you Eddie, as you have sound advice). The main thing is to concentrate on your strengths and to first of all recognise that you have many, where you will come to find you have a natural shield against people trying to abuse you. If you look deep within yourself you will see and find all of this, it has just been lost deep within yourself because people have played upon your susceptibility to feeling hurt. The greatest way to show bullies are wrong is to not rise to them, they want you to react and speak out in anger, but by showing you are not biting they lose everything they set out to achieve and look themselves silly. Of course they will attempt to keep goading you and the more you do not react the more you stand tall stronger and they end up looking bitter and silly.

Keep up the positive vibes

Raggamuffin wrote:

FluffyBunny wrote:

I have depression anyway and people elsewhere said I didn't look human and I began to believe them.They kept on and on saying that i was revolting,repulsive and worthless.I lost weight and was sick and my bloke was furious I was engaging with these people.

I still haven't got over it tbh but am trying.Thankyou for your kind words Eddie xx.Them saying I was worthless wouldn't have worked unless I already thought it so i can't blame it all on the bullying.

You said you wouldn't do this any more.

Rags,just leave me alone.I didn't blame my depression on the bullying alone,I said I had to have a negative self of sense in the first place. No more.

FluffyBunny wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

You said you wouldn't do this any more.

Rags,just leave me alone.I didn't blame my depression on the bullying alone,I said I had to have a negative self of sense in the first place. No more.

Oh come on - I know what you're talking about.

Anyway, my previous post wasn't entirely a joke. What business is it of anyone else if you're attractive or not? Who are you trying to impress? It's probably your age, but in twenty years' time you probably won't give a damn.   

Didge wrote:

FluffyBunny wrote:

Lol if they continue I may well say Eddie says 'you are all turds in a birdbath'   

Thankyou Eddie,that means alot xx

I understand people with a normal healthy self image don't understand how cyberbullying can affect adults as  they would just think 'what rot' and turn the computer off. When you're depressed though these negative affirmations just prove what you already thought about yourself.

I am going to try positive affirmations,I think. Its just difficult to change what is a core belief and has been for some time.

To be honest, I can concur with much of what Eddie says, but the one point I do not is to go down the road of what can lead to hate and being abusive back does not and will not make yourself feel any better in the long term ( not knocking you Eddie, as you have sound advice). The main thing is to concentrate on your strengths and to first of all recognise that you have many, where you will come to find you have a natural shield against people trying to abuse you. If you look deep within yourself you will see and find all of this, it has just been lost deep within yourself because people have played upon your susceptibility to feeling hurt. The greatest way to show bullies are wrong is to not rise to them, they want you to react and speak out in anger, but by showing you are not biting they lose everything they set out to achieve and look themselves silly. Of course they will attempt to keep goading you and the more you do not react the more you stand tall stronger and they end up looking bitter and silly.

Keep up the positive vibes

This is correct,when I tried to be as evil as they were I made myself ill and the only person I hurt was myself.I thought that them knowing how it felt would make me feel better but it didn't.I lost the person I was.

Thankyou Didge.

Original Quill wrote:

Fluffbunny wrote:I am going to try positive affirmations,I think. Its just difficult to change what is a core belief and has been for some time.

No it isn't hard at all.  Try it...they say 21- to 30-days.  That's the beauty of it.  And wow, do you grow...you won't know yourself at the next party.

Gud luck hon.  You can do it...don't ever let anyone tell you different.

Ok,I'll try! x  

FluffyBunny wrote:

Didge wrote:

To be honest, I can concur with much of what Eddie says, but the one point I do not is to go down the road of what can lead to hate and being abusive back does not and will not make yourself feel any better in the long term ( not knocking you Eddie, as you have sound advice). The main thing is to concentrate on your strengths and to first of all recognise that you have many, where you will come to find you have a natural shield against people trying to abuse you. If you look deep within yourself you will see and find all of this, it has just been lost deep within yourself because people have played upon your susceptibility to feeling hurt. The greatest way to show bullies are wrong is to not rise to them, they want you to react and speak out in anger, but by showing you are not biting they lose everything they set out to achieve and look themselves silly. Of course they will attempt to keep goading you and the more you do not react the more you stand tall stronger and they end up looking bitter and silly.

Keep up the positive vibes

This is correct,when I tried to be as evil as they were I made myself ill and the only person I hurt was myself.I thought that them knowing how it felt would make me feel better but it didn't.I lost the person I was.

Thankyou Didge.

You are welcome Fluffy, you have a huge heart, allow others to see it and be apart of the huge love you have to give, it will also allow you to become very happy.

x

The best thing is not to care - ie, don't be positive or negative.

Raggamuffin wrote:The best thing is not to care - ie, don't be positive or negative.

That is a negative in itself to claim to not care because the reality is there will be things you do care about and thus it is always best to remain positive, because negative feelings lead to unhappiness.

Didge wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:The best thing is not to care - ie, don't be positive or negative.

That is a negative in itself to claim to not care because the reality is there will be things you do care about and thus it is always best to remain positive, because negative feelings lead to unhappiness.

It isn't a negative because you can't change the way you are, or the way you look - other than superficially. What's the point of trying to convince yourself that you're good looking or clever or whatever? Just don't care either way, and then it doesn't matter.

I hope fluffy gets more care from her GP than I have had in the past year , I had a near break down last December and had to stop working because of it , was given medication and an appointment was made to have counselling , I had one appointment 29th Jan and was told I definitely needed more but it would be in 6 weeks time , I am still waiting .

Raggamuffin wrote:

Didge wrote:


That is a negative in itself to claim to not care because the reality is there will be things you do care about and thus it is always best to remain positive, because negative feelings lead to unhappiness.

It isn't a negative because you can't change the way you are, or the way you look - other than superficially. What's the point of trying to convince yourself that you're good looking or clever or whatever? Just don't care either way, and then it doesn't matter.

Incorrect because anyone can change the way they are. To you it is that simple and easy and for me I have no issues, but for others it is not the same, and this is where you fail to understand, you fail to understand that for others it is difficult to convince themselves even more that from a young age they have had such negativity thrown their way, they start to believe no matter how attractive there is something wrong with them. Seriously have you not known girls that have literally starved themselves to death to feel and look better? Why on earth do you think  this happens? The point is you are comfortable with who you are but think everyone should be as you are, it is never that simple. I have never met once person who states they really do not care when no matter who we are at some points we all have doubts.

Vicar of Dibley wrote:I hope fluffy gets more care from her GP than I have had in the past year , I had a near break down last December and had to stop working because of it , was given medication and an appointment was made to have counselling , I had one appointment 29th Jan and was told I definitely needed more but it would be in 6 weeks time , I am still waiting .

Sorry to hear Dibs, best advice, do not wait, if you are getting no satisfaction, keep making appointments until your GP sits up and listens or go and see another GP!

Raggamuffin wrote:

Didge wrote:


That is a negative in itself to claim to not care because the reality is there will be things you do care about and thus it is always best to remain positive, because negative feelings lead to unhappiness.

It isn't a negative because you can't change the way you are, or the way you look - other than superficially. What's the point of trying to convince yourself that you're good looking or clever or whatever? Just don't care either way, and then it doesn't matter.

Ragga,this will be my last point concerning this to you.

It wasn't about being merely unattractive,they made out I looked like some sort of monster that wasn't human and said over and over how revolting I was and that they 'hoped I would rot'

I didn't know whether I was coming or going because I was depressed anyway.It was alot worse than people just saying normal insults that's why it affected me so lets leave it there.

Didge wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

It isn't a negative because you can't change the way you are, or the way you look - other than superficially. What's the point of trying to convince yourself that you're good looking or clever or whatever? Just don't care either way, and then it doesn't matter.

Incorrect because anyone can change the way they are. To you it is that simple and easy and for me I have no issues, but for others it is not the same, and this is where you fail to understand, you fail to understand that for others it is difficult to convince themselves even more that from a young age they have had such negativity thrown their way, they start to believe no matter how attractive there is something wrong with them. Seriously have you not known girls that have literally starved themselves to death to feel and look better? Why on earth do you think  this happens? The point is you are comfortable with who you are but think everyone should be as you are, it is never that simple. I have never met once person who states they really do not care when no matter who we are at some points we all have doubts.

They can't change their underlying character. So what if they believe there's something wrong with them? If they don't care, it won't matter. All this garbage about trying to get people to "believe in themselves" is rubbish. As soon as they don't care, they will be much better.

Those girls who starve themselves to death started off caring what they looked like probably, and they cared what others thought of them. Do you think that it makes any difference if others tell them they're not fat, or that they're not worthless? No, it doesn't.

It's not a question of being comfortable with who I am, it's a question of not worrying about it or caring about it.

Vicar of Dibley wrote:I hope fluffy gets more care from her GP than I have had in the past year , I had a near break down last December and had to stop working because of it , was given medication and an appointment was made to have counselling , I had one appointment 29th Jan and was told I definitely needed more but it would be in 6 weeks time , I am still waiting .

I'm so sorry to hear that VOD,how are you feeling now?xx

I get help from my GP but my problem is I just won't go   I don't want to go,I would rather stay inside and hide which I know is something I have to work on.

Didge wrote:

Vicar of Dibley wrote:I hope fluffy gets more care from her GP than I have had in the past year , I had a near break down last December and had to stop working because of it , was given medication and an appointment was made to have counselling , I had one appointment 29th Jan and was told I definitely needed more but it would be in 6 weeks time , I am still waiting .

Sorry to hear Dibs, best advice, do not wait, if you are getting no satisfaction, keep making appointments until your GP sits up and listens or go and see another GP!

The GP is lovely it is the appointment that is taking so long , I have seen my GP she is going to see what is happening .
Thanks didge

FluffyBunny wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

It isn't a negative because you can't change the way you are, or the way you look - other than superficially. What's the point of trying to convince yourself that you're good looking or clever or whatever? Just don't care either way, and then it doesn't matter.

Ragga,this will be my last point concerning this to you.

It wasn't about being merely unattractive,they made out I looked like some sort of monster that wasn't human and said over and over how revolting I was and that they 'hoped I would rot'

I didn't know whether I was coming or going because I was depressed anyway.It was alot worse than people just saying normal insults that's why it affected me so lets leave it there.

I don't think you've been around long enough to know how it all works. I've been told all those things too, and the people who said it don't even know what I look like, and they don't know what I do or anything. They just made it up.

If you're interested, I have advised that there is no more said about you on the place you're talking about you. I hope that you take the opportunity to stop all this and not bait them. I knew at once what you were referring to when you started this thread, and so will they if they read it.

FluffyBunny wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

It isn't a negative because you can't change the way you are, or the way you look - other than superficially. What's the point of trying to convince yourself that you're good looking or clever or whatever? Just don't care either way, and then it doesn't matter.

Ragga,this will be my last point concerning this to you.

It wasn't about being merely unattractive,they made out I looked like some sort of monster that wasn't human and said over and over how revolting I was and that they 'hoped I would rot'

I didn't know whether I was coming or going because I was depressed anyway.It was alot worse than people just saying normal insults that's why it affected me so lets leave it there.

Case in point Fluffy, she is wanting you to respond, you need to step back when Ragga does, as you both have history and no not knocking you either Ragga.
Fluffy take a step back, you are allowing yourself to get dragged in where you will again feel upset and hence why you need to take yourself out of such a situation as it will keep dragging up many negative feelings. If you can teach yourself not to react to these types of posts, you become stronger. You thus enjoy the forum and this will go a long way to helping you build up your confidence, because every time you drag yourself back in you end up going one step backwards and not forwards.
I have faith in you and I will support and encourage with such posts when online if I feel you are allowing yourself to be dragged in, as you need to concentrate first on yourself and find out that there is so much you have to give and as seen people here already recognise that.

FluffyBunny wrote:

Vicar of Dibley wrote:I hope fluffy gets more care from her GP than I have had in the past year , I had a near break down last December and had to stop working because of it , was given medication and an appointment was made to have counselling , I had one appointment 29th Jan and was told I definitely needed more but it would be in 6 weeks time , I am still waiting .

I'm so sorry to hear that VOD,how are you feeling now?xx

I get help from my GP but my problem is I just won't go   I don't want to go,I would rather stay inside and hide which I know is something I have to work on.

Some days on top of the world , then other days I feel like I could hide away and just give up . I must admit the counselling session was terrible I am not good at opening up to strangers and I am a very private person so telling a complete stranger about my life isn't what I do easily .   

Raggamuffin wrote:

FluffyBunny wrote:

Ragga,this will be my last point concerning this to you.

It wasn't about being merely unattractive,they made out I looked like some sort of monster that wasn't human and said over and over how revolting I was and that they 'hoped I would rot'

I didn't know whether I was coming or going because I was depressed anyway.It was alot worse than people just saying normal insults that's why it affected me so lets leave it there.

I don't think you've been around long enough to know how it all works. I've been told all those things too, and the people who said it don't even know what I look like, and they don't know what I do or anything. They just made it up.

If you're interested, I have advised that there is no more said about you on the place you're talking about you. I hope that you take the opportunity to stop all this and not bait them. I knew at once what you were referring to when you started this thread, and so will they if they read it.

Thankyou,I appreciate that. But 'this' is not a baiting thread. I needed some help.

Vicar of Dibley wrote:I hope fluffy gets more care from her GP than I have had in the past year , I had a near break down last December and had to stop working because of it , was given medication and an appointment was made to have counselling , I had one appointment 29th Jan and was told I definitely needed more but it would be in 6 weeks time , I am still waiting .

Sorry to hear that    Try to get a referral via your Doctor to Mind.  They might have a waiting list but you wouldn't have waited this long.  They don't charge a set fee but ask you to pay what you can afford for one on one counselling.

They also can offer courses to help you cope with various aspects of day to day life VOD.  Don't let things drag on, sometimes you just have to keep pushing to get the help you need x

If you are in a position to pay for private counselling I would do so.  As frustrating as it is mental health problems just don't get the attention they deserve  

Raggamuffin wrote:

Didge wrote:

Incorrect because anyone can change the way they are. To you it is that simple and easy and for me I have no issues, but for others it is not the same, and this is where you fail to understand, you fail to understand that for others it is difficult to convince themselves even more that from a young age they have had such negativity thrown their way, they start to believe no matter how attractive there is something wrong with them. Seriously have you not known girls that have literally starved themselves to death to feel and look better? Why on earth do you think  this happens? The point is you are comfortable with who you are but think everyone should be as you are, it is never that simple. I have never met once person who states they really do not care when no matter who we are at some points we all have doubts.

They can't change their underlying character. So what if they believe there's something wrong with them? If they don't care, it won't matter. All this garbage about trying to get people to "believe in themselves" is rubbish. As soon as they don't care, they will be much better.

Those girls who starve themselves to death started off caring what they looked like probably, and they cared what others thought of them. Do you think that it makes any difference if others tell them they're not fat, or that they're not worthless? No, it doesn't.

It's not a question of being comfortable with who I am, it's a question of not worrying about it or caring about it.

Yes they can change and have seen many people do this first hand, who suffered depression, because what you are saying is to teach a person not to care, where does that lack of care lead to when we all have an innate ability to care, which basically means to give up natural instincts, to the point it advocates we care about nothing, including our own families, children etc. So what you do is you work on the positives, because to not care is a negative. To not thus care leaves a feeling of feeling empty, where if you are blocking all feelings you can never truly express love to anyone or receive love in return.

FluffyBunny wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

I don't think you've been around long enough to know how it all works. I've been told all those things too, and the people who said it don't even know what I look like, and they don't know what I do or anything. They just made it up.

If you're interested, I have advised that there is no more said about you on the place you're talking about you. I hope that you take the opportunity to stop all this and not bait them. I knew at once what you were referring to when you started this thread, and so will they if they read it.

Thankyou,I appreciate that. But 'this' is not a baiting thread. I needed some help.

It will come over as a baiting thread because you have referred to another forum. Maybe others don't know what you mean, but I do, and so will the people on that forum.

Didge wrote:

FluffyBunny wrote:

Ragga,this will be my last point concerning this to you.

It wasn't about being merely unattractive,they made out I looked like some sort of monster that wasn't human and said over and over how revolting I was and that they 'hoped I would rot'

I didn't know whether I was coming or going because I was depressed anyway.It was alot worse than people just saying normal insults that's why it affected me so lets leave it there.

Case in point Fluffy, she is wanting you to respond, you need to step back when Ragga does, as you both have history and no not knocking you either Ragga.
Fluffy take a step back, you are allowing yourself to get dragged in where you will again feel upset and hence why you need to take yourself out of such a situation as it will keep dragging up many negative feelings. If you can teach yourself not to react to these types of posts, you become stronger. You thus enjoy the forum and this will go a long way to helping you build up your confidence, because every time you drag yourself back in you end up going one step backwards and not forwards.
I have faith in you and I will support and encourage with such posts when online if I feel you are allowing yourself to be dragged in, as you need to concentrate first on yourself and find out that there is so much you have to give and as seen people here already recognise that.

Yes I was starting to get roped in,no offence to Ragga.I just feel I should respond to posts because I don't actually dislike the lady but it does upset me to even think about all that.

Didge wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

They can't change their underlying character. So what if they believe there's something wrong with them? If they don't care, it won't matter. All this garbage about trying to get people to "believe in themselves" is rubbish. As soon as they don't care, they will be much better.

Those girls who starve themselves to death started off caring what they looked like probably, and they cared what others thought of them. Do you think that it makes any difference if others tell them they're not fat, or that they're not worthless? No, it doesn't.

It's not a question of being comfortable with who I am, it's a question of not worrying about it or caring about it.

Yes they can change and have seen many people do this first hand, who suffered depression, because what you are saying is to teach a person not to care, where does that lack of care lead to when we all have an innate ability to care, which basically means to give up natural instincts, to the point it advocates we care about nothing, including our own families, children etc. So what you do is you work on the positives, because to not care is a negative. To not thus care leaves a feeling of feeling empty, where if you are blocking all feelings you can never truly express love to anyone.

I'm talking about someone's basic personality. I don't believe they can change that.

You should try the not caring thing - it works. I'm not talking about caring for others, I'm talking about not caring what you look like, or whether you're clever or not - that sort of thing. A lot of depression is caused by introspection and excessive rumination - about events or about one's own personality and perceived failings.

FluffyBunny wrote:

Didge wrote:


Case in point Fluffy, she is wanting you to respond, you need to step back when Ragga does, as you both have history and no not knocking you either Ragga.
Fluffy take a step back, you are allowing yourself to get dragged in where you will again feel upset and hence why you need to take yourself out of such a situation as it will keep dragging up many negative feelings. If you can teach yourself not to react to these types of posts, you become stronger. You thus enjoy the forum and this will go a long way to helping you build up your confidence, because every time you drag yourself back in you end up going one step backwards and not forwards.
I have faith in you and I will support and encourage with such posts when online if I feel you are allowing yourself to be dragged in, as you need to concentrate first on yourself and find out that there is so much you have to give and as seen people here already recognise that.

Yes I was starting to get roped in,no offence to Ragga.I just feel I should respond to posts because I don't actually dislike the lady but it does upset me to even think about all that.

So don't think about it. It's simple advice but it works.

Vicar of Dibley wrote:

FluffyBunny wrote:

I'm so sorry to hear that VOD,how are you feeling now?xx

I get help from my GP but my problem is I just won't go   I don't want to go,I would rather stay inside and hide which I know is something I have to work on.

Some days on top of the world , then other days I feel like I could hide away and just give up . I must admit the counselling session was terrible I am not good at opening up to strangers and I am a very private person so telling a complete stranger about my life isn't what I do easily .   

I understand that VOD. Is it CBT you have? I don't feel sitting telling a stranger my feelings is very helpful,if anything I feel like I'm being self indulgent talking about myself and then I still feel exactly the same.  

FluffyBunny wrote:

Didge wrote:


Case in point Fluffy, she is wanting you to respond, you need to step back when Ragga does, as you both have history and no not knocking you either Ragga.
Fluffy take a step back, you are allowing yourself to get dragged in where you will again feel upset and hence why you need to take yourself out of such a situation as it will keep dragging up many negative feelings. If you can teach yourself not to react to these types of posts, you become stronger. You thus enjoy the forum and this will go a long way to helping you build up your confidence, because every time you drag yourself back in you end up going one step backwards and not forwards.
I have faith in you and I will support and encourage with such posts when online if I feel you are allowing yourself to be dragged in, as you need to concentrate first on yourself and find out that there is so much you have to give and as seen people here already recognise that.

Yes I was starting to get roped in,no offence to Ragga.I just feel I should respond to posts because I don't actually dislike the lady but it does upset me to even think about all that.

No offense to ragga either but she is advocating negative views, one to claim it is okay not to care, which I do not advocate and also think is a false presence, because we all care about something, all that is doing is blocking out emotions by not caring and in the end like a champagne bottle with at some point explode in a mass of emotions that can break some people. So sometimes step away and what is needed is to learn to control emotions, easier said than done, I still struggle at times, but for the main am very happy.
Belief is the key and I know you have it in you to believe in yourself.