"Sriracha? I barely know her!"

In a move that should put a chill into all lovers of hot sauce, the factory that makes Sriracha hot sauce in Irwindale, California, is looking more and more likely to be shut down after residents of the town complained about the delicious, spicy scent that any right-thinking person would accurately see as being a glorious free gift to the community making their precious noses all sad.

The company now has 90 days to solve the problem or shut down production, although state senator Ed Hernandez has indicated that he will fight tooth and nail to protect the factory and the life-giving sauce that allows the empty shell that is existence to be filled, however briefly, with joy and purpose. "I ask that the city of Irwindale reject this inflammatory and unnecessary 'public nuisance' designation and constructively work with Huy Fong Foods to resolve these issues,"

Thank you, Senator Hernandez. Thank you from the bottom of my pho.