Military Canine Units To Give Equal Opportunities To Chihuahuas

LACKLAND AFB, TX—Secretary of Defense Lloyd Austin has directed all branches of the military to step up diversity efforts when it comes to working dogs in canine units. For the first time, the military-- which has always favored German Shepherds in the past-- will admit other breeds such as Chihuahuas and Pomeranians.


"We've always had this narrow-minded view that the German Shepherd is the best dog for chasing down dangerous terrorists and sniffing out improvised explosive devices," said Austin. "But why not Chihuahuas? Why not poodles? Bringing in more dog breeds will increase our diversity-- which is the greatest strength any military can have."

So far, there have been no Chihuahuas capable of taking down a 250-pound man by the arm, so the military has elected to eliminate that test altogether.

Military leaders confirmed the current plan is just to invite every breed of dog and hang out, eat doggy treats, and have a good time while taking diversity courses.

"We're proud of this beautiful mosaic we have created here," said one Staff Sergeant while knitting a cute sweater for Squeaker, his working dog. "This is what our military is all about!"


https://babylonbee.com/news/in-push-for-diversity-military-canine-units-to-give-equal-opportunities-to-chihuahuas

Dobermans have superior jaw strength and speed over German Shepherds. Dobermans were bred out of the Rottweiler breed, which were known as butchers' dogs because they carried the shop-mans' purse around the neck to guard against any pilfering.



The German Shephard also has severe hip dysplasia throughout the breed.

The standard Poodle has adequate strength and speed, and is better than protective breeds in the water. I have raised Dobermans, Rottweilers and Standard Poodles, among others.

When Mark Antony quoth “Cry ‘havoc’ , and let slip the dogs of war...” in Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, I somehow don’t think he envisaged a pack of yapping Chihuahuas bounding forth to bring about domestic fury and fierce civil strife through all of Italy!

Original Quill wrote:Dobermans have superior jaw strength and speed over German Shepherds.  Dobermans were bred out of the Rottweiler breed, which were known as butchers' dogs because they carried the shop-mans' purse around the neck to guard against any pilfering.



The German Shephard also has severe hip dysplasia throughout the breed.

The standard Poodle has adequate strength and speed, and is better than protective breeds in the water.  I have raised Dobermans, Rottweilers and Standard Poodles, among others.

It's satire, but if you want to get picky most K9 units are now Belgian Malinois.

I didn't take it as satire. I love dogs. I took it as an opportunity to talk dogs with you.

Wonderful subject.

Original Quill wrote:I didn't take it as satire.  I love dogs.  I took it as an opportunity to talk dogs with you.

Wonderful subject.

Youv'e never heard of the Babylon Bee Quill ? they became quite famous a couple of months ago when trump retweeted a story they featured, and it went viral as the truth

"Twitter Shuts Down Entire Network To Slow Spread Of Negative Biden News"

I'm not a real fan of Bees as pets. I know that Wolf likes them. But they don't fetch, they won't protect (except their hive) and if you try to pet them they'll sting you.

How can you be affectionate about Bees?

Maddog wrote:So far, there have been no Chihuahuas capable of taking down a 250-pound man by the arm, so the military has elected to eliminate that test altogether.

Chihuahuas don't try to pull down by the arm.  They are yipper dogs.  They are taught to yip at the shoestrings until they trip, or otherwise bring the perp down.

Tenacity is their real talent...if you kick one, no matter how many times, or how far, they'll come back 'til your down.  Very dedicated breed.

Original Quill wrote:I'm not a real fan of Bees as pets.  I know that Wolf likes them.  But they don't fetch, they won't protect (except their hive) and if you try to pet them they'll sting you.

How can you be affectionate about Bees?

Bees mostly want just left alone (and want us to stop killing them) because if they are screwed  we are right behind them. wasps hornets and the like.
well they are just bastards and like many a maga supporter will start a fight in a empty room

DAM it now i am all self concious about commas again

Original Quill wrote:I'm not a real fan of Bees as pets.  I know that Wolf likes them.  But they don't fetch, they won't protect (except their hive) and if you try to pet them they'll sting you.

How can you be affectionate about Bees?

I love em i think they are great little creatures ,apiculturists can and do love there bees just as much as you might love a dog or cat

Sure best not to let them sleep in the bed and push you out in favour of the wife ,and its hard to throw a stick they are just not interested

But bee keepers love there bees ...and even though i am not a bee keeper and only see the occasional one now in my garden i love them as well

I kid you not, I took this on Waterloo Bridge, London town, New Years Eve, 4 years ago. The security had a chihuahua sniffing for drugs!

Korben wrote:

Original Quill wrote:I'm not a real fan of Bees as pets.  I know that Wolf likes them.  But they don't fetch, they won't protect (except their hive) and if you try to pet them they'll sting you.

How can you be affectionate about Bees?

I love em i think they are great little creatures ,apiculturists can and do love there bees just as much as you might love a dog or cat

Sure best not to let them sleep in the bed and push you out in favour of the wife ,and its hard to throw a stick they are just not interested

But bee keepers love there bees ...and even though i am not a bee keeper and only see the occasional one now in my garden i love them as well

That's why I mentioned Wolf. I have the greatest respect for Wolf, and he loves bees and keeps several hives.

Andy wrote:

I kid you not, I took this on Waterloo Bridge,  London town, New Years Eve, 4 years ago. The security had a chihuahua sniffing for drugs!

Looks like he's ready to go for the shoelaces. too.