Harvard Now Offering Four-Year Degree In Feeling Oppressed

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Responding to consumer demand, Ivy League bellwether Harvard University announced Monday its new four-year Bachelor’s degree in Feeling Oppressed.

“For those lucky enough to be able to afford the quarter-million-dollar cost of attending our prestigious school, we are offering a comprehensive program that will prepare you for a lifetime of convincing yourself that you are a perpetual victim and nothing that happens in your life is your own fault,” Harvard president Drew Faust announced in an afternoon press conference.

“It doesn’t matter who you are, where you’re from, what your background is, whether or not you’re by far the most privileged people in the history of our planet—you should feel oppressed, and we will prove it to you.”

Pressed by a reporter about the feasibility of finding a successful career and contributing to society after attaining a degree in Feeling Oppressed, Faust suggested that this would be the generation to implement universal income, rendering productive careers obsolete and freeing citizens to “fight oppression even more.”

Asked by another reporter, “Doesn’t Harvard already pretty much include unofficial training in feeling oppressed in each one of your degrees?” Faust called the question “offensive” and abruptly wrapped up the press conference.

https://babylonbee.com/news/harvard-now-offering-four-year-degree-in-feeling-oppressed?fbclid=IwAR0x9XhPfTfGcntXt2uh2uAqI_3RTKmzC4PFcJyFn5eEukiasC_pdP6dOEo

Fifteen years ago, a Harvard undergraduate cost $70,000/year. Four years of that, it's $280.000/degree. That's if you can get in.

If you can get in, who cares what discipline the degree is in? You'll still make $2.5-million a year down in New York, on Wall Street.

Original Quill wrote:Fifteen years ago, a Harvard undergraduate cost $70,000/year.  Four years of that, it's $280.000/degree.  That's if you can get in.

If you can get in, who cares what discipline the degree is in?  You'll still make $2.5-million a year down in New York, on Wall Street.

I guess you're not familiar with the Babylon Bee.

Nup...I only read The Onion:

The Onion wrote:CDC Launches Ad Campaign Featuring Racist Mascot In Effort To Get More Conservatives Vaccinated

ATLANTA—Targeting the series of PSAs towards communities that were skeptical of inoculation, the Centers For Disease Control launched a new ad campaign Tuesday featuring a racially offensive animated mascot in an effort to get more conservatives vaccinated. “We’re hopeful that associating the vaccine with this outmoded and reprehensible caricature will help give right-wing Americans some comfort and familiarity and increase their likelihood of signing up,” said Director Rochelle Walensky, confirming that the mascot, whose design was based largely on World War II propaganda imagery, would speak in an offensively broad accent to continuously spout racial catchphrases completely unacceptable to modern sensibilities. “Our goal is to provoke a massive public pressure campaign which forces us to remove this hateful mascot, leading conservatives to locate as many vaccines as possible lest the country lose an important part of its heritage to cancel culture and the woke mob.” Walensky added that the CDC also hoped to discourage travel amongst conservatives by claiming without evidence that Delta Airlines gives discounted rates to Planned Parenthood members.

Oh, God! Another Micky Mouse degree...like journalism.
(Er, and I used to be a visiting lecturer in it!)

I know the pain and angst, Fred. Years ago on another forum, a poster suggeted that WikiLeaks deserved the Pulitzer Prize in journalism.

I politely suggested that Michelin stars should also be awarded to butchers rather than chefs, but I don't think he got it.

Ben Reilly wrote:I know the pain and angst, Fred. Years ago on another forum, a poster suggeted that WikiLeaks deserved the Pulitzer Prize in journalism.

I politely suggested that Michelin stars should also be awarded to butchers rather than chefs, but I don't think he got it.

In my day, Ben (not quite back in the Dickensian era as some folk may think!), there were few, if any, degree courses in journalism at U.K. universities. An aspiring young hack generally joined his local paper as an indentured apprentice and learned his trade the hard way...by cycling round with a notebook in search of stories and being bawled out by a grumpy old sod of a news editor for making minor literal errors in his copy.

I remember as a 17 year old being sent to interview the widow of an old miner and town councillor who had dropped off the perch at 70 years old (anyone making it to 70 in a South Yorkshire mining village in those days was hailed as having “had a good innings”) and the grieving lady, being proud of the fact that an obit would appear in the local rag, invited me in for a cup of tea.

I walked into the parlour (does anyone still use the word today?)...and was confronted by the dear deceased lying in his open coffin on the table in order for members of the community to visit and pay their last respects.

“‘Ee, lad, ‘e looks lovely, don’t ‘e?” she asked as I turned a bit green round the gills at the sight of my first corpse.

Now the young buggers graduate from the University of Luton, or some other deservedly inauspicious seat of learning, waving a Second in journalism and expecting to join The Guardian or The Times as a leader writer or columnist.

Pssssst.


This article is satire.

But because of the woke culture that we see daily, it appears very believable.

Maddog wrote:Pssssst.


This article is satire.  

But because of the woke culture that we see daily, it appears very believable.  

Yeah, I know