MY DAD (AGAIN)

First topic message reminder :

So on Saturday my dad collapsed again.  my brother was there at the time and got him to hospital but it turns out that he fractured his skull and has a bleed on the fontal lobe whatever the fuck that means.  under sedation in critical care yet again.  i think its about a year ago now that he had his last episode. FFS!

visits restricted, plastic sheeting everywhere, he's 83 and stuck on life support with corona flying around.

needless to say i;m a bit stressed

on monday on the way home from visiting him, i left my phone on the c2c train and freaked out.  when i got home a friend of my sons rang my number and someone answered and said they would leave it at lost property for me to pick up.  i went on tuesday but it wasnt there and i was well pissed off.  then i got a fine from network rail cos i travelled back down to southend on my debit card which didn't work the other end.  i was at screaming point.

yesterday i thought i may as well just try again so went back up to fenchurch st office and asked again.  they actually had it so i was mega relieved to get it back.

also when my brother rang to inform me of what happened i waited to hear but it was about 10.30 when he said they were at the hospital in critical care.

i rang piggio and the conversation ran thus

ME:  Hi piggio, you OK?
PIGGIO:  Sure, you ok?  what's up?
ME:  I need a favour
PIGGIO:  What do you need
ME:  I need to get to southend general
PIGGIO:  What, now?
ME: Yeah, now
PIGGIO: On my way!

bad shit happens but still feeling blessed in many ways

Original Quill wrote:

gelico wrote:thank you so much for your posts, everyone, especially from one who i'm so often at loggerheads with (quill)

That's just disagreements and politics.  We all have a more basic luv for one another.

Seconded, Quill.

My dad has been in and out of hospital so much.

he is back in at the moment

now has the covid19 virus

still got a feeling he will shake it off and come home

gelico wrote:


My dad has been in and out of hospital so much.

he is back in at the moment

now has the covid19 virus

still got a feeling he will shake it off and come home

Gels, he’s in the best place and he sounds like a strong man. Stay positive and I’m sure he will be home soon.
You know where I am.

gelico wrote:


My dad has been in and out of hospital so much.

he is back in at the moment

now has the covid19 virus

still got a feeling he will shake it off and come home

That poor man, he's been through the wringer and so have you.

But I'm really glad you've got that feeling. Trust in it, because you're the not the type to bullshit yourself or anybody else. If you have that feeling, there's a good reason.

It's scary, but always remind yourself that the majority of people who get this thing do pull through.

well after he had that seizure they took him but discharged him again after about 4-5 days (I cant remamber) but the carers came round that night and were shocked that he'd been sent home at all. he was all over the shop. it was awful

he'd had his cathetar still in but kept wetting himself, just a little bit, but even a little bit meant changing him each time rather than wait for the carers. then later we were dozing but i woke up and he wasn't there. i foud him in the toilet on his own without his frame just staring into the bowl. i got his frame for him to get back into the room then went to put the kettle on. i watched him come through the kitchen then turned away to wash cups. a few seconds later i looked round again and saw a trail of shit falling out of my dad's pyjamas which he was leaving behind him.

shouted at him to stop exactly where he was which he did. so first off clearing it all off the floor so i could move, then washing him down as best i could while he stood there. unfortunately, it had got caked round his foot which he then lifted up and started splodging it om to the living room carpet. not the best day i ever had.

anyhoos i rang his doctor who sent a medic who ordered him back to hospital. they kept him for another week then sent him home but he still didn't seem to be picking up as he should

then last week around 3am again i woke to find him missing from the bed. i had in fact switched off all the lights in order to deter him from getting out of bed (it didn't). i switched on the lights and looked in the toilet but he wasn't there. then i discovered him on the living room floor.

he was conscious. i think he'd been trying to make his way to the sofa but blundered about in the pitch black for a while before stacking it.

fortunately no head injuries or broken bones and he was trying to get up, rolling about like an upturned tortoise. there as no way i could get him up so what did i do? did i ring 999? no, i got him a pillow and put a duvet over him and left him there and crashed out on the sofa

i mean FFS! who does that?

when i told my brother the next day he was cracking up but said it was understandable i wasn't thinking logically at the time

the carers turned up about 7am to see this. i asked them to help me get him but they couldnt (i should have known that). they advised me to call 999 which i did. they turned up within 2 minutes and said that because he had been lying on the floor all night they needed to take him in to be checked.

they also flagged that up as a concern to social services the fact that i hadn't bothered to call 999 straight away when i found him but just left him there all night. in the cold light of day it seemed fucking awful butl,,,,,

anyhoos, i then went home to be with kids but 5 days later we get notification that he's tested positive for covid19. so i may have already infected them. i have a slight cough which may only be placebo in reverse or just a slight cough or a slight touch of covid. can't be sure but kids are also now at risk which is a bit of a bummer to say the least

now my brother thinks he may well have caught it weeks ago which is why he coudn't recover from the seizure as he always has before. it also causes loss of balance and confusion so it's understandable why he hasn't shown signs of improvement

the reason i think he will shake it off is because he has recovered so many times before. i've never known anyone fight llike my dad. he always said he was going to live to 110. he has a steely determination so if he doesnt come home it certainly won't be for lack of trying

fuck me, i really bang on when i get going

Gelico, I feel for you .I really do, Your doing your best for your Dad ,no one could do more !

I don't think it was such a bad idea to cover your dad up and let him rest out on the floor....I might have done the same. He had no broken bones and he wasn't bleeding, I think it was the sensible thing to do in the circumstances.

Gels, I am so sorry he seems to be suffering one thing after another, but he is in hospital now, so he is in the best place at the moment.

As for you.....I think you are bloody marvellous, and that's all I can say. xxxxxxxx

Gels...chin up, don't get depressed. You are a hero.

I wrote a reply earlier and then deleted

Because I care for Gelico and have no wish to upset her

As she is like a little sis and it pains me to watch her go through this and her father

I think we all feel a way about our fathers and create a block inside ourselves. Not believing the man we trust above all others. Can later in life become so vulnerable. We attempt to block this out and not believe this and do not want to.

Stop blaming yourself Gelico and I know you are doing this now and it saddens me

You were being their for your father, as any daughter should, when they are in need. The question is, why is it always you though?

I hope you have not been infected and he also pulls through, but you have to understand and fear the worst gelico. I say this with hurt in my heart, because I do not want to pain you with a possible reality here.

I truley wish I could make this all go away for you Gelico.

I deleted my reply because I do not think it was helpful and am glad I did

Sending you big hugs gelico

thanks all for the comments, it means a lot

curious about yours though didge

Didge, everything okay with you and yours?

dad clear of covid

home again and back to his perky self

struggling to balance and walk properly (work in progress)


xx

Good on you both!

thanks tommy, i knew he'd pull through ok

haven't got my test results back yet but i'm still alive so,,,,

gelico wrote:


dad clear of covid

home again and back to his perky self

struggling to balance and walk properly (work in progress)


xx

That’s wonderful news gels xx

gelico wrote:dad clear of covid

home again and back to his perky self

struggling to balance and walk properly (work in progress)

xx

Wonderful! Congrats gelico.

gelico wrote:


dad clear of covid

home again and back to his perky self

struggling to balance and walk properly (work in progress)


xx

That's brilliant news, your dad is a real fighter.
Good luck to both of you.x

gelico wrote:


dad clear of covid

home again and back to his perky self

struggling to balance and walk properly (work in progress)


xx

Happy days Gelico

Now take some time for yourself, you deserve it

Gelico, you are doing a fantastic job, my thoughts and best wishes are with you, I understand your situation very well. All the best to you and your dad, a member of one of the formidable generations.

on wednesday i saw the biggest improvement in my dad. my brother and SIL came down from manchester nd were delighted with his progress. he was chatting coherently,, pottering round the garden with my brother and talking about the work that needs doing. starting to make plans etc. i decided to go home and be with the kids for a few days but then on thursday he had another seizure that put him back in hospital.

they also found damage to his lungs and pneumonia set in.

they have stopped all treatment and 'made him comfortable'.

he isn't coming back now but he is in no pain

i feel strangely adrift

gelico wrote:

on wednesday i saw the biggest improvement in my dad.  my brother and SIL came down from manchester nd were delighted with his progress.  he was chatting coherently,, pottering round the garden with my brother and talking about the work that needs doing.  starting to make plans etc.  i decided to go home and be with the kids for a few days but then on thursday he had another seizure that put him back in hospital.

they also found damage to his lungs and pneumonia set in.

they have stopped all treatment and 'made him comfortable'.

he isn't coming back now but he is in no pain

i feel strangely adrift

Really sorry Gelico to hear, that this has happened. 

After the process being made, as well. Must be gut wrenching

Sending you big hugs

x

gelico wrote:

on wednesday i saw the biggest improvement in my dad.  my brother and SIL came down from manchester nd were delighted with his progress.  he was chatting coherently,, pottering round the garden with my brother and talking about the work that needs doing.  starting to make plans etc.  i decided to go home and be with the kids for a few days but then on thursday he had another seizure that put him back in hospital.

they also found damage to his lungs and pneumonia set in.

they have stopped all treatment and 'made him comfortable'.

he isn't coming back now but he is in no pain

i feel strangely adrift

Really sorry to hear this Gelico.

At least he won't have to suffer anymore.

Take care x

gelico wrote:

on wednesday i saw the biggest improvement in my dad.  my brother and SIL came down from manchester nd were delighted with his progress.  he was chatting coherently,, pottering round the garden with my brother and talking about the work that needs doing.  starting to make plans etc.  i decided to go home and be with the kids for a few days but then on thursday he had another seizure that put him back in hospital.

they also found damage to his lungs and pneumonia set in.

they have stopped all treatment and 'made him comfortable'.

he isn't coming back now but he is in no pain

i feel strangely adrift

Me too, gels. I know what you mean about feeling adrift.

I’m so very very sorry Gels. My heart aches for you x

I know the feeling too as Quill said, I think it's like a protective barrier to help you get through something in life that you find traumatic.

I so feel for you Gels, but your dad is in the best place receiving specialist care, hold on to that thought. x

Sorry to hear that Geli......

he left us at 8,00 this morning

at peace

what an amazing man he was

i'm feeling lost

thank you for the comments

xxx

gelico wrote:


he left us at 8,00 this morning

at peace

what an amazing man he was

i'm feeling lost

thank you for the comments

xxx

Hugs

gelico wrote:


he left us at 8,00 this morning

at peace

what an amazing man he was

i'm feeling lost

thank you for the comments

xxx

We could tell he was amazing from what you wrote about him.

Hugs my love xxx

I'm so sorry Gels...add my hugs to the others. x

My sincere condolences, Gelico. He quite obviously put up a very brave fight.

gelico wrote:he left us at 8,00 this morning

at peace

what an amazing man he was

i'm feeling lost

thank you for the comments

xxx

Don't feel lost gels. Somehow I feel he's still there, loving you as much, if not more. Watch...now he'll look after you. An' group hug from all of us, hon. xxx

So sorry to hear, I agree with everything already said. Take care.

I'm so sorry gelico love, he will continue to live on in your heart. x

gelico wrote:


he left us at 8,00 this morning

at peace

what an amazing man he was

i'm feeling lost

thank you for the comments

xxx

Oh Gels, I’m so sorry. I’m glad he is now at peace. Xxxx
Sending you so much love.

gelico wrote:


he left us at 8,00 this morning

at peace

what an amazing man he was

i'm feeling lost

thank you for the comments

xxx

I'm very sorry, Gels. I'm glad he's at peace now, and I'm glad his wonderful legacy lives on in you.

Thanks for trying to find my dad's address book, Ben. Strangely enough the suggestion you made was where it normally is and where it ought to be but the darn thing's gone and disappeared.

close your eyes and focus and give it another go.

letter to my dad,,,,





''I had a proper system'' you roared when I mislaid a bit of paper.  System my arse! Your system is basically random letters stuffed into every sodding drawer in the house.  No wonder I'm so disorganised, it's clearly genetic.

Anyhoos, now that's off my chest, I just wanted to share some thoughts.

I remember you telling me of your early years, losing your own dad and being separated from your mum, you were so grateful for the care you received from aunts and uncles and never forgot what they did for you.

I never tired of you telling me how you met mum at a Chrristmas Eve dance and fell completely in love and was so excited to meet up again with her the following week at a New Year Dance, and as you said, the rest is history,

constantly working hard to improve yourself, 3 nights a week at night school after a hard day's work for 5 years showed back then your determination levels.

I remember growing up with various foster brothers and sisters that you and mum had opened your hearts and home to.  

I remember you working extra hours to pay for an extra nice holiday and Christmases were magical.

I remember your hard work on the council.  You helped so many people.  Even the opposition liked you, and that takes some doing.

Your many interests; operatics society, photography, sea fishing etc and yet somehow in between working hard and playing hard you still seemed to find time to be a great husband, dad, grandad and friend

When the grandchildren came along you really went overboard.  they've told me they have the best memories and consider themselves so lucky to have had the upbringing they had.

I remember after losing mum, your strength astonished me and some while after, you coyly told me that you had developed feelings for Marion, and 'did I mind?'  I couldn't have been more delighted

Even through all your many illnesses you never lost that steely determination nor your fabulous humour

For all that you have taught me and all the love you have shown me, thank you

you are my hero, i will always love you

xxxx

ps, your filing system still sucks though

xx

Nice letter. Keep it up, the thoughts will come to you and they will give you warmth and solace. Your dad sounds like a very special person.

Wishing you all the best through this difficult time Geli... my warmest sympathies.

gelico wrote:

Thanks for trying to find my dad's address book, Ben.  Strangely enough the suggestion you made was where it normally is and where it ought to be but the darn thing's gone and disappeared.

close your eyes and focus and give it another go.

He really does have a knack of being psychic and finding lost things. I’ve seen it first hand. He will give it another go.

That letter to your dad made me cry. X

gelico wrote:letter to my dad,,,,





''I had a proper system'' you roared when I mislaid a bit of paper.  System my arse! Your system is basically random letters stuffed into every sodding drawer in the house.  No wonder I'm so disorganised, it's clearly genetic.

Anyhoos, now that's off my chest, I just wanted to share some thoughts.

I remember you telling me of your early years, losing your own dad and being separated from your mum, you were so grateful for the care you received from aunts and uncles and never forgot what they did for you.

I never tired of you telling me how you met mum at a Chrristmas Eve dance and fell completely in love and was so excited to meet up again with her the following week at a New Year Dance, and as you said, the rest is history,

constantly working hard to improve yourself, 3 nights a week at night school after a hard day's work for 5 years showed back then your determination levels.

I remember growing up with various foster brothers and sisters that you and mum had opened your hearts and home to.  

I remember you working extra hours to pay for an extra nice holiday and Christmases were magical.

I remember your hard work on the council.  You helped so many people.  Even the opposition liked you, and that takes some doing.

Your many interests; operatics society, photography, sea fishing etc and yet somehow in between working hard and playing hard you still seemed to find time to be a great husband, dad, grandad and friend

When the grandchildren came along you really went overboard.  they've told me they have the best memories and consider themselves so lucky to have had the upbringing they had.

I remember after losing mum, your strength astonished me and some while after, you coyly told me that you had developed feelings for Marion, and 'did I mind?'  I couldn't have been more delighted

Even through all your many illnesses you never lost that steely determination nor your fabulous humour

For all that you have taught me and all the love you have shown me, thank you

you are my hero, i will always love you

xxxx

ps, your filing system still sucks though

xx

That's beautiful. I'm sure your dad watched over you as you wrote it. x