In romantic relationships, people do indeed have a 'type'

If you've ever come out of a bad relationship and decided you need to date someone different from your usual "type," you're not alone.

However, new research by social psychologists at the University of Toronto (U of T) suggests that might be easier said than done. A study published today in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences shows people often look for love with the same type of person over and over again.

"It's common that when a relationship ends, people attribute the breakup to their ex-partner's personality and decide they need to date a different type of person," says lead author Yoobin Park, a PhD student in the Department of Psychology in the Faculty of Arts & Science at U of T. "Our research suggests there's a strong tendency to nevertheless continue to date a similar personality."

Using data from an ongoing multi-year study on couples and families across several age groups, Park and co-author Geoff MacDonald, a professor in the Department of Psychology at U of T, compared the personalities of current and past partners of 332 people. Their primary finding was the existence of a significant consistency in the personalities of an individual's romantic partners.

"The effect is more than just a tendency to date someone similar to yourself," says Park.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/06/190610160248.htm

Yeah, I think people are always looking for someone who gives them something they need, and they associate that need with a particular trait that they end up being drawn to.

I think I've always found myself looking for someone who challenges me, and finding myself disappointed up until now.

I do indeed think people have a type, even down to looks at times. Some people like heavier people for example and some like smaller people.

I don’t like men who take too much time on their looks, for example, like getting their eyebrows waxed or fussing with their hair. I also don’t like suits on men.

Ben Reilly wrote:Yeah, I think people are always looking for someone who gives them something they need, and they associate that need with a particular trait that they end up being drawn to.

I think I've always found myself looking for someone who challenges me, and finding myself disappointed up until now.

I think people need to understand and be happy for themselves and allow love to happen, when they least expect it

I once thought that you have to have love to be happy, but undersatood that happiness comes from within

We as humans have needs and I think there is certainly true love

I believe you and eddie have this, Gelico had this with her late husband, Syl has this etc

I think people spend so much time trying to find love and fail to see its actually stairing them in the face

People make such a view to find the perfect partner and often hold critical views on what they would like, but in reality. This all goes out of the window, when we do find true love. When love hits us, its not based on what we personally like. Its always based on a love attraction. More poweful than any sexual attraction. Its far stronger than any drug. Its creates a chemistry, unexplained by science, that is truely unbreakable. That is why I think too many people settle for lust and not love. As when you have true love. People are able to overcome every single hurdle thrown in front of them. Its an ever lasting love, even through death. Its binding

Good post didge. I agree. One should never look for love and you have to be happy with yourself first whilst still being able to grow each day.

eddie wrote:Good post didge. I agree. One should never look for love and you have to be happy with yourself first whilst still being able to grow each day.

Thanks eddie

I agree, nice post Didge. I cant disagree with anything you said there.

I dont know whether people have a type....maybe they think they do, but when love/lust/attraction, call it what you will, first hits, the last thing you want to do is analyze it..
My belief is after the initial all consuming passion of being in lust passes, then real love either developes stronger or fades.You cant force it, but to be happy long term with someone it entails a lot of give and take, an acceptance that no one is perfect, including yourself, .....and a bit of luck too.

Syl wrote:I agree, nice post Didge. I cant disagree with anything you said there.

I dont know whether people have a type....maybe they think they do, but when love/lust/attraction, call it what you will, first hits, the last thing you want to do is analyze it..
My belief is after the initial all consuming passion of being in lust passes, then real love either developes stronger or fades.You cant force it, but to be happy long term with someone  it entails a lot of give and take, an acceptance that no one is perfect, including yourself, .....and a bit of luck too.

Thanks Syl. I sadly think people take the easier option to simple bow out of trying to actually have a relationship by going through the hard times. For better or worse. They forgot why they were in love in the first place. Hence to me, those in true love, never actually lose this

phildidge wrote:

Syl wrote:I agree, nice post Didge. I cant disagree with anything you said there.

I dont know whether people have a type....maybe they think they do, but when love/lust/attraction, call it what you will, first hits, the last thing you want to do is analyze it..
My belief is after the initial all consuming passion of being in lust passes, then real love either developes stronger or fades.You cant force it, but to be happy long term with someone  it entails a lot of give and take, an acceptance that no one is perfect, including yourself, .....and a bit of luck too.

Thanks Syl. I sadly think people take the easier option to simple bow out of trying to actually have a relationship by going through the hard times. For better or worse. They forgot why they were in love in the first place. Hence to me, those in true love, never actually lose this

Yep....and the sad thing is when one stops trying and the other doesn't. I have seen that a lot in life.