My England Diary or, a Texan in Old Blighty!

First topic message reminder :

So I'm landing at Heathrow on Sunday and I'll be staying for more than two freakin' months!

I'll use this space to keep everybody posted on my scintillating observations. It should be eminently ignorable!

Anyway, I already know what "tosser" and "wanker" means thanks to having a British wife, so I think I've got a real leg up.

Just don't fancy muckin' about with all them apples and pears, do I?

You are both welcome, I think everyone here all feel the same. x

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:

Syl wrote:

Like Gels said, it's really nice to hear of your latest comings and goings Ben, and I'm so happy you are having a great time.
Sometimes the most ordinary happenings are special...they are the ones that we store in our memory banks, something to replay for when we feel down about something.
I always think if we dont have bad times we cant appreciate the good times, it sounds like you are appreciating every minute spent here, and they will see you through till the day when you are here for good.

I know it may sound trite (sorry) but I am a firm believer in if you want something bad enough you will get it eventually.

Thanks Syl, I totally agree.

Have you been to Cornwall yet? If you get there eat some Roskilly's ice cream....

HoratioTarr wrote:

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:

Syl wrote:

Like Gels said, it's really nice to hear of your latest comings and goings Ben, and I'm so happy you are having a great time.
Sometimes the most ordinary happenings are special...they are the ones that we store in our memory banks, something to replay for when we feel down about something.
I always think if we dont have bad times we cant appreciate the good times, it sounds like you are appreciating every minute spent here, and they will see you through till the day when you are here for good.

I know it may sound trite (sorry) but I am a firm believer in if you want something bad enough you will get it eventually.

Thanks Syl, I totally agree.

Have you been to Cornwall yet?   If you get there eat some Roskilly's ice cream....

Have not made it out there! We're really sticking to the London area, at least so far. I'd love to see more of the country, but money is kind of an issue at the moment.

First day of half-term! So for me, my first day as a dad on his own, because eddie still has to work to support my unemployed ass ...

Stepson is hold enough to fend for himself, but my stepdaughter is just 7, so it was up to me to make sure she was taken care of today. So here's how that went:

She woke up and immediately started playing a new iPad game she's obsessed with, and I periodically checked in to see if she was hungry. She finally was, so I made us some breakfast, and then it was time to wash up, get dressed and visit Tesco.

On the way up there we mutually determined, with embarrassed laughter, that she had not in fact brushed her teeth today, so we resolved to get that done as soon as she'd eaten her lunch.

Got the shopping done, which included some jelly babies for me (new obsession) and a toy for her, made it back home, got everything put up and I made her some lunch, which she really enjoyed. Helped her with the tooth-brushing and then it was time for a game in which she pretends to be asleep on a messy bed, and it's up to me to grab her like a sack of potatoes and unceremoniously dump her somewhere else, then put her back in the same way.

She's adding little touches like talking in her sleep now. Very creative kid.

We wrestled a little bit, and then later on watched a few episodes of Kid Danger all snuggled together on the sofa. Later on, I dried her hair, put it into a very awkward and crooked plait and got her into her PJs.

It was the first time I've ever done something like that and though it didn't go perfectly, I was proud of helping her get through the day. We really bonded a lot, too. It's going to be even harder to go back to Texas now.

with every new entry you write, i like you just a little bit more

this is for you and littlelegs xx (not sangria)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgviDNeXQ2w

gelico wrote:

with every new entry you write, i like you just a little bit more

this is for you and littlelegs xx (not sangria)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgviDNeXQ2w

A perfect song for a perfect day for them both

Round 2 tomorrow..

@Ben, maybe you both should venture out for the day. Go see something you both want to see, that you both have not seen.
Share the experince together
Its then a first for you both, shared together.

Thor wrote:

gelico wrote:

with every new entry you write, i like you just a little bit more

this is for you and littlelegs xx (not sangria)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgviDNeXQ2w

A perfect song for a perfect day for them both

Round 2 tomorrow..

@Ben, maybe you both should venture out for the day. Go see something you both want to see, that you both have not seen.
Share the experince together
Its then a first for you both, shared together.

We do plan to do that -- I'm going to take her to London and we'll visit some of the museums.

Not to be nosy, but I missed a lot of stuff during the past year.

What is the end game? You moving there, her moving here, all of y'all moving to Canada or Thailand?

And if this is none of my business, that's cool too.

Maddog wrote:Not to be nosy, but I missed a lot of stuff during the past year.

What is the end game? You moving there, her moving here, all of y'all moving to Canada or Thailand?

And if this is none of my business, that's cool too.  

eddie already lives here

ben has come over to stay from texas

he's trying to get to stay permanently (they got married)

Maddog wrote:Not to be nosy, but I missed a lot of stuff during the past year.

What is the end game? You moving there, her moving here, all of y'all moving to Canada or Thailand?

And if this is none of my business, that's cool too.  

No, we've been quite open about it. I'm trying to move to England to live with Eddie and her children. Their biological father is very much part of their lives, so for that among other reasons, I'm trying to become a dirty job-stealing immigrant

gelico wrote:

Maddog wrote:Not to be nosy, but I missed a lot of stuff during the past year.

What is the end game? You moving there, her moving here, all of y'all moving to Canada or Thailand?

And if this is none of my business, that's cool too.  

eddie already lives here

ben has come over to stay from texas

he's trying to get to stay permanently (they got married)

I knew the current situation.

Didn't know what the preferred future situation was.

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:

Maddog wrote:Not to be nosy, but I missed a lot of stuff during the past year.

What is the end game? You moving there, her moving here, all of y'all moving to Canada or Thailand?

And if this is none of my business, that's cool too.  

No, we've been quite  open about it. I'm trying to move to England to live with Eddie and her children. Their biological father is very much part of their lives, so for that among other reasons, I'm trying to become a dirty job-stealing immigrant

Isn't your marriage enough to keep you legal and permitted to stay there?

I know citizenship is different (you may not even want that).

Maddog wrote:

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:

Maddog wrote:Not to be nosy, but I missed a lot of stuff during the past year.

What is the end game? You moving there, her moving here, all of y'all moving to Canada or Thailand?

And if this is none of my business, that's cool too.  

No, we've been quite  open about it. I'm trying to move to England to live with Eddie and her children. Their biological father is very much part of their lives, so for that among other reasons, I'm trying to become a dirty job-stealing immigrant

Isn't your marriage enough to keep you legal and permitted to stay there?

I know citizenship is different (you may not even want that).

Can't even get a spouse visa, which would make me legal to hire, without having an exorbitant amount of savings to prove I'm not going to be using any benefits. My eventual plan is to acquire dual citizenship, mainly for the security aspect.

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:

Maddog wrote:

Isn't your marriage enough to keep you legal and permitted to stay there?

I know citizenship is different (you may not even want that).

Can't even get a spouse visa,  which would make  me legal to hire, without having an exorbitant amount  of savings  to prove  I'm not going to be using any benefits. My eventual plan is to acquire  dual citizenship, mainly for the security aspect.

So, how are you supposed to work?

Maddog wrote:

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:

Maddog wrote:

Isn't your marriage enough to keep you legal and permitted to stay there?

I know citizenship is different (you may not even want that).

Can't even get a spouse visa,  which would make  me legal to hire, without having an exorbitant amount  of savings  to prove  I'm not going to be using any benefits. My eventual plan is to acquire  dual citizenship, mainly for the security aspect.

So, how are you supposed to work?

It's a really dumb law. I can't even legally look for work until I have enough money saved to prove I could make it for about two years without a job and get that spousal visa.

I can seek employment in England from the U.S., but not while within the UK. And even then, my job would have to fulfill a high-need role, so there are only some jobs I could get on an employment visa.

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:

Maddog wrote:

So, how are you supposed to work?

It's a really dumb law. I can't even legally look for work until I have enough money saved to prove I could make it for about two years without a job and get  that spousal visa.

I can seek employment in England from the U.S., but not while within the UK. And even then, my job would have to fulfill a high-need role, so there are only some jobs I could get on an employment visa.

Maybe you could be the official Royal Country Music Critic?

Maddog wrote:

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:

Maddog wrote:

So, how are you supposed to work?

It's a really dumb law. I can't even legally look for work until I have enough money saved to prove I could make it for about two years without a job and get  that spousal visa.

I can seek employment in England from the U.S., but not while within the UK. And even then, my job would have to fulfill a high-need role, so there are only some jobs I could get on an employment visa.

Maybe you could be the official Royal Country Music Critic?

 

Hey, there are country music artists in England, you know?

They SUCK.

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:

Maddog wrote:

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:

Maddog wrote:

So, how are you supposed to work?

It's a really dumb law. I can't even legally look for work until I have enough money saved to prove I could make it for about two years without a job and get  that spousal visa.

I can seek employment in England from the U.S., but not while within the UK. And even then, my job would have to fulfill a high-need role, so there are only some jobs I could get on an employment visa.

Maybe you could be the official Royal Country Music Critic?

 

Hey, there are country music artists in England, you know?

They SUCK.

You suck.

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:

Maddog wrote:

Maybe you could be the official Royal Country Music Critic?

 

Hey, there are country music artists in England, you know?

They SUCK.

Well, you can at least live stream http://www.959theranch.com/

He does. And lucky for him, I love music on The Ranch!

Maddog wrote:

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:

Maddog wrote:

Maybe you could be the official Royal Country Music Critic?

 

Hey, there are country music artists in England, you know?

They SUCK.

Well, you can at least live stream http://www.959theranch.com/

I just pull it up on Alexa! The only drawback is the six-hour time difference, so I'm hearing the Morning Mindbender at like 2 in the afternoon ...

So the other night when it was going on midnight, edds and I realized we only had a teenager in the house, so we decided to go down to the pub for some drinks and music. I believe the boy responded to edds, "You're going now." Not a question so much as disbelief. [The next morning it was, "What time did you two get in?"]

So we spent close to two hours down there listening to a Scottish guy who wasn't bad at all, singing classic rock covers in a glorified karaoke setup.

Ran into a number of people I've already met and spoken with here on several other occasions, danced a bit with edds, had to let an 84-year-old man with better moves than mine by FAR cut in for a while ... you know the drill.

It was a nice time just to be grown-ups for a while. And I'm not posting this to say any of it was new to me -- in fact, what I got out of that experience was how comfortingly familiar it was.

I've had plenty of nights more or less exactly like that in Texas. But it meant a lot to me to have a night like that in England, if only because when you're planning a move to a different country, it's great to see how people really are more or less the same wherever  you go.

It was a great night. And Ben kept asking the Scottish singers girlfriend to speak because he liked her accent.

They’re actually a lovely couple and they remembered my stories of Ben and went out of their way to make him feel really welcome.

People are just so nice.

What fun. What/where is this pub?

Original Quill wrote:What fun.  What/where is this pub?

After all the threats made by Catman, I'm not going to reveal too much information about it - sorry.

Original Quill wrote:What fun.  What/where is this pub?

It’s actually a really run-down, proper old English pub, no frills but a very local clientele.
Everyone is down to earth and friendly. Lots of different people from all walks of life.

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:

Original Quill wrote:What fun.  What/where is this pub?

After all the threats made by Catman, I'm not going to reveal too much information about it - sorry.

hi ben, is that still going on or has it been sorted?

in any case sounds like you're settling in just fine

eddie wrote:

Original Quill wrote:What fun.  What/where is this pub?

It’s actually a really run-down, proper old English pub, no frills but a very local clientele.
Everyone is down to earth and friendly. Lots of different people from all walks of life.

I used to work at the Spotted Dog in Barking yonks ago

very olde worlde, sawdust on the floor and used to sell flagons of Davey's Old Wallop which was a mix of beer and cider and would blow your fucking socks off

gelico wrote:

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:

Original Quill wrote:What fun.  What/where is this pub?

After all the threats made by Catman, I'm not going to reveal too much information about it - sorry.

hi ben, is that still going on or has it been sorted?

in any case sounds like you're settling in just fine

Oh, he still keeps it going from time to time. It's getting boring, actually.

I mean, when you threaten to blow something up and then you don't, it's hard to take the rest of your threats seriously

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:

gelico wrote:


hi ben, is that still going on or has it been sorted?

in any case sounds like you're settling in just fine

Oh, he still keeps it going from time to time. It's getting boring, actually.

I mean, when you threaten to blow something up and then you don't, it's hard to take the rest of your threats seriously

oh dear

what an anti climax

what a disappointment

Yeah, he even threatened to come back but didn’t.

Eddie and I went to visit with three of our best friends tonight; our little girl is having a sleepover with one of theirs. We had a good time for the most part, though one got a little overly rambunctious and started playing music I learned is called stuff like "garage" and "hard house."

But that was after eddie did a long day's work, after I made sure our girl got off to school properly, etc. It was a really full day and my mind is swirling with thoughts and feelings.

One that I keep trying desperately to push away is that this is the month in which I will eventually go back to Texas.

Imagine finding yourself in the life that you want. It's not problem-free or perfect by any stretch -- it's just where you feel you should be, where you feel you fit -- and then being told it's all going away, at least for a while, within a few weeks.

I just wish there was someone in charge that I could look in the eye and ask if this makes any sense. Because it doesn't to me, and it's seriously fucking with my head.

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:Eddie and I  went to visit with three  of  our best friends tonight; our little girl is having a sleepover with one of theirs. We had a good time for the most part, though one got a little overly rambunctious and started playing music I learned is called stuff like "garage" and "hard house."

But that was after eddie did a long day's work, after I made sure our girl got off to school properly, etc. It was a really full day and my mind is swirling with thoughts and feelings.

One that I keep trying desperately to push away is that this is the month in which I will eventually go back to Texas.

Imagine finding  yourself in the life that you want. It's not problem-free or perfect by any stretch -- it's just where you feel you should be, where you feel you fit -- and then being told it's all going away, at least for a while, within a few weeks.

I just wish there was someone  in charge that I could look in the eye and ask if this makes any sense. Because it doesn't to me, and it's seriously fucking with my head.

Glad you're loving it Ben; just remember that some point in the next few years you'll only be needing a one way flight out of Texas

Keep that belief in mind, mate! x

Bummer I'll probably be landing in England for my own short trip a week or two after you leave - but sure our paths will cross at some point

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:Eddie and I  went to visit with three  of  our best friends tonight; our little girl is having a sleepover with one of theirs. We had a good time for the most part, though one got a little overly rambunctious and started playing music I learned is called stuff like "garage" and "hard house."

But that was after eddie did a long day's work, after I made sure our girl got off to school properly, etc. It was a really full day and my mind is swirling with thoughts and feelings.

One that I keep trying desperately to push away is that this is the month in which I will eventually go back to Texas.

Imagine finding  yourself in the life that you want. It's not problem-free or perfect by any stretch -- it's just where you feel you should be, where you feel you fit -- and then being told it's all going away, at least for a while, within a few weeks.

I just wish there was someone  in charge that I could look in the eye and ask if this makes any sense. Because it doesn't to me, and it's seriously fucking with my head.

You need to attempt to place those thoughts to the back of your mind until you actually do return to Texas. As its no good beating yourself up over this whilst you are here. Its going to make you more prone to being snappy and agitated. Which is the last thing you need, whilst you are here, spending time with the ones you love

Yeah I know, easier said than done, but it is very much pointless to fret about this, when you are her Ben. Concentrate on the time you are having together with each other

If you feel you are getting frustrated, join a boxing gym, and punch the crap out of a punching bag for a while, to relieve the built up frustration and stress over all of this.

Stay strong and positive.

Praying it all gets sorted for you both x

I can only imagine how hard it must be for you guys.

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:Eddie and I  went to visit with three  of  our best friends tonight; our little girl is having a sleepover with one of theirs. We had a good time for the most part, though one got a little overly rambunctious and started playing music I learned is called stuff like "garage" and "hard house."

But that was after eddie did a long day's work, after I made sure our girl got off to school properly, etc. It was a really full day and my mind is swirling with thoughts and feelings.

One that I keep trying desperately to push away is that this is the month in which I will eventually go back to Texas.

Imagine finding  yourself in the life that you want. It's not problem-free or perfect by any stretch -- it's just where you feel you should be, where you feel you fit -- and then being told it's all going away, at least for a while, within a few weeks.

I just wish there was someone  in charge that I could look in the eye and ask if this makes any sense. Because it doesn't to me, and it's seriously fucking with my head.

Miss Meghan Markle?  
She's not 'in charge' but could put in a good word …….

On a serious note, all the best to you & eddie x.  You may get a sudden unexpected lucky break from somewhere.

Exchange with a waiter at the restaurant where edds and I celebrated our 8-month anniversary tonight:

Him: So how long have you been here?

Me: Been here about six weeks and I'll be here another three, then I have to go back.

- Oh, you have to go back? So you're not actually married.

- No, we're married, but the UK has a financial requirement I have to meet, prove I'm not going to be getting benefits.

- So even though you're married -

- Yeah, it's not automatic. Not many people know that.

- Christ!

BTW happy anniversary, edds

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:Exchange with a waiter at the restaurant where edds and I celebrated our 8-month anniversary tonight:

Him: So how long have you been here?

Me: Been here about six weeks and I'll be here another three, then I have to go back.

- Oh, you have to go back? So you're not actually married.

- No, we're married, but the UK has a financial requirement I have to meet, prove I'm not going to be getting benefits.

- So even though you're married -

- Yeah, it's not automatic. Not many people know that.

- Christ!

Well its not entirely untrue

You are getting the benefits of Eddie.

Her charisma, love, compassion, potty mouth etc, basically everything that makes her complete you.

You know, just about everything that makes you complete her

You know like when you break something in half and put the pieces back together and its a perfect match



What is an 8 month anniversery anyway?

I mean I know the first year is paper, but what is 8 months?

A twig?

What you need is a good civil war to break out in the US, with Marshall law and an oppressive regime. Sorta like Venezuela. Then you can claim asylum in the UK.

You really need a Bernie victory in 2020. I know that's a long time to wait.

Okay, something a bit more light-hearted for tonight: The difference between grocery shopping in England and the U.S. I've done a lot of Tesco's runs in the past 7 weeks, and here is my report:

* Y'all seriously need to play music in your grocery stores. It's just a much nicer experience. You walk into a store (not shop, store) in Texas and it's nearly non-stop music. However ...

* I do appreciate the fact that there aren't any announcements for the deals on offer in the store. You hear that frequently over the loudspeakers in American stores.

* English people tend to walk to the left side, just like they drive. It's taken some getting used to, since Americans tend to form files to the right, just like we drive.

* That "this food's about to spoil so it's heavily reduced" section? Great idea. We don't really do that in America.

* Very few stores in America expect you to bag your own groceries. They have employees who do that for you, and you're expected to be ready to pay fast and get the hell out of the way. You wait in line significantly longer in England. Sorry, you wait in QUEUE.

* Also, in America, the cashiers stand behind the till. The sight of cashiers seated behind the till looks seriously weird and a bit lazy to me, to be honest.

* Sadly, what both countries really seem to have in common is that few people will actually notice you're trying to get past and get the hell out of your way; too many Americans and English seem to think they have the right to block an aisle and carry on a conversation.

Have you been to Aldi? There are unspoken rules there that you shove your shopping back in the trolley or basket as fast as possible and then go elsewhere to pack it in your bags.

Standing up for long periods of time is not good for people, especially if they're rooted to the spot. However, sitting down all the time is also not good. They don't have much room to move do they?

Raggamuffin wrote:Have you been to Aldi? There are unspoken rules there that you shove your shopping back in the trolley or basket as fast as possible and then go elsewhere to pack it in your bags.

Standing up for long periods of time is not good for people, especially if they're rooted to the spot. However, sitting down all the time is also not good. They don't have much room to move do they?

I haven't been to an Aldi (which we also have in the U.S.); there's no location in our town. Actually never been to one in Texas, either. I've heard bad things

As for the standing, I think it must be better than sitting for eight hours with occasional stretches. Cashiers in the U.S. get a break every few hours, but when I did it for my first job at 16, I found it was always worse standing back up after you've been sitting for 15 minutes.

Oh, missed one of your questions. There's plenty of room to move around in American stores. You can basically shorten that to, there's plenty of room in America The state of Wyoming, for an extreme example, has an average of six people per square mile.

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:Oh, missed one of your questions. There's plenty of room to move around in American stores. You can basically shorten that to, there's plenty of room in America The state of Wyoming, for an extreme example, has an average of six people per square mile.

I meant the cashiers don't have much room to move around - to sit and then stand, etc.

Having said that, some shops here are difficult to get around.

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:Have you been to Aldi? There are unspoken rules there that you shove your shopping back in the trolley or basket as fast as possible and then go elsewhere to pack it in your bags.

Standing up for long periods of time is not good for people, especially if they're rooted to the spot. However, sitting down all the time is also not good. They don't have much room to move do they?

I haven't been to an Aldi (which we also have in the U.S.); there's no location in our town. Actually never been to one in Texas, either. I've heard bad things

As for the standing, I think it must be better than sitting for eight hours with occasional stretches. Cashiers in the U.S. get a break every few hours, but when I did it for my first job at 16, I found it was always worse standing back up after you've been sitting for 15 minutes.

Aldi is amazingly cheap and the cashiers are amazingly fast. They keep costs down a lot I guess. There are no frills in their shops, no music, and it's all very basic, but who cares about that?

Raggamuffin wrote:

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:Oh, missed one of your questions. There's plenty of room to move around in American stores. You can basically shorten that to, there's plenty of room in America The state of Wyoming, for an extreme example, has an average of six people per square mile.

I meant the cashiers don't have much room to move around - to sit and then stand, etc.

Having said that, some shops here are difficult to get around.

I've noticed that! But I think it's cool because it's so different to what I've known.

I'm sure I had at least 10 square feet to move around in; having to range from the front of the checking area to the bagging area if there was nobody around to bag groceries.

Raggamuffin wrote:

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:Have you been to Aldi? There are unspoken rules there that you shove your shopping back in the trolley or basket as fast as possible and then go elsewhere to pack it in your bags.

Standing up for long periods of time is not good for people, especially if they're rooted to the spot. However, sitting down all the time is also not good. They don't have much room to move do they?

I haven't been to an Aldi (which we also have in the U.S.); there's no location in our town. Actually never been to one in Texas, either. I've heard bad things

As for the standing, I think it must be better than sitting for eight hours with occasional stretches. Cashiers in the U.S. get a break every few hours, but when I did it for my first job at 16, I found it was always worse standing back up after you've been sitting for 15 minutes.

Aldi is amazingly cheap and the cashiers are amazingly fast. They keep costs down a lot I guess. There are no frills in their shops, no music, and it's all very basic, but who cares about that?

Honestly the music is the only thing I truly miss. It's fun to have a good song come on while you're shopping

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

Aldi is amazingly cheap and the cashiers are amazingly fast. They keep costs down a lot I guess. There are no frills in their shops, no music, and it's all very basic, but who cares about that?

Honestly the music is the only thing I truly miss. It's fun to have a good song come on while you're shopping

Some shops use very obscure music - to avoid the issue of royalties I suppose. I should think the staff might get fed up with hearing the same old tunes. I think they might have music in my Tesco - they certainly did at Christmas. I really can't remember now. Mind you, I don't go to supermarkets much these days.

Raggamuffin wrote:

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

Aldi is amazingly cheap and the cashiers are amazingly fast. They keep costs down a lot I guess. There are no frills in their shops, no music, and it's all very basic, but who cares about that?

Honestly the music is the only thing I truly miss. It's fun to have a good song come on while you're shopping

Some shops use very obscure music - to avoid the issue of royalties I suppose. I should think the staff might get fed up with hearing the same old tunes. I think they might have music in my Tesco - they certainly did at Christmas. I really can't remember now. Mind you, I don't go to supermarkets much these days.

Oh, I certainly got tired of the music when I worked at a grocery store - as well as the smell of bread, which is just wrong.