jokes

What do you call an Englishman holding the World Cup ? ------An Engraver !

nicko wrote:What do you call an Englishman holding the World Cup ?  ------An Engraver !




 

True.

That's harsh! We've sometimes come tantalisingly close to winning the cup.
Got some footy jokes, I'll dig them up later.

Is it true that hog fking is an initiation rite in some high society circles? Gawwd I hope not!


Anyhoo here's a joke>

A woman is reading in bed when her husband walks in holding a pig in his arms.
"This is the cow I have to sleep with when you have a headache" says the man.
"I think you find that is a pig" says the woman sarcastically.
To which the man replies "I think you will find I was talking to the pig."

My Wife and I liked that one Jules !

A trucker was driving along a country lane very late one dark, wet night when he saw nun trudging along, hunched up in her habit and wimple and struggling against the wind and rain.

Kind soul that he was he stopped and offered her a lift, which she gratefully accepted.

After driving for several miles in absolute silence the trucker tried to open a conversation saying: "Sister, I have always had a fantasy - to be kissed by a nun."

"Well, I feel I would like to show my gratitude for your kindness, but I could only ever kiss a man who was single and a Roman Catholic," she replied.

"Oh, I'm both," the trucker told her...and the nun gave him a dazzling smile and said "just pull into the side of the road under those trees over there" where she proceeded to kiss him passionately in a way that would have made a hooker blush.

A few minutes later, when they were back on the road again, the trucker suddenly burst into tears and cried "I lied! Forgive me, but I'm married and I'm Jewish..."

"Oh, that's OK," the nun replied. "My name's Kevin and I was just on my way back from a Halloween party when my car broke down."

Scientists have discovered the leading cause of death for people who gave up drinking, smoking and drugs, eat only vegetables, and give up sodas:

Boredom.