Australian Woman Shares Heartbreaking Status About Same-Sex Marriage After Wife Dies In Car Accident

First topic message reminder :

Marriage equality is still a distant dream for many people around the world, as Lara Ryan truly realised when her wife, Elise, died in a tragic car accident. The pair, from Sydney, had a wedding ceremony and have two children together, but as same-sex marriage is not legally recognised in Australia, they could never be officially married. On Facebook, Lara said the pair had "never been political" and didn't really think too much about their official marital status in the past. But after Elise died when a car drove into her on the pavement, Lara felt the full burden of injustice.

"Having lost my partner in a horrible pedestrian accident this month I had to ask policemen if I was 'allowed' to write spouse on incident reports," she said. "I had to cross out boxes for husband on the death certificate and boxes for father on our new baby's birth certificate (both on the same day)."



Try It


Change your profile picture to show support forAustralian Marriage Equality.





Lara Ryan
on Monday
This is why.
Because having lost my partner in a horrible pedestrian accident this month I had to ask policemen if I was 'allowed' to write Spouse on incident reports.
I had to cross out boxes for husband on the death certificate and boxes for father on our new baby's birth certificate (both on the same day).
I had to yell out in a busy, crazy emergency room "She is my wife, I know it's not legal but she is my wife!"
Because we were never political, we just did our thing, did our life our way and tried to live by example to shift peoples hearts rather than pushing agendas. BUT the amount of freaking paper work I am having to do to secure mine and my children's future welfare is just ridiculous when all it would take is one marriage certificate.
And most of all because I love her, and she has been my every day for ten years, She is the mother of our two girls, she is the future I dreamed of and she is my safe place to land.
Because love is love and we should celebrate it and encourage it always.
The world is harsh enough.
Feel free to share widely - ‪#‎thisiswhy‬#


http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2016/03/02/lara-ryan-facebook-status-on-same-sex-marriage_n_9364322.html

Whot duz this mene, "they have 2 children together"??????

Didge wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

I just told you - some people cancel weddings after they've been set.

I think you need to understand that not everyone is as histrionic or gushingly sentimental as you.

Irrelevant if some cancel if at the time of death they were set to marry

I think someone has done a right number on you as it would explain a great many things and for that I am sorry that you were hurt

How would you know the wedding wouldn't have been cancelled if the person hadn't died?

I'm just not generally a histrionic person Didge. I notice that you often start threads about luuuurve and you're quite soppy.

Stormee wrote:Whot duz this mene, "they have 2 children together"??????

Adopted? Sperm donor? A male volunteer? It doesn't specify.

Raggamuffin wrote:

Didge wrote:


Irrelevant if some cancel if at the time of death they were set to marry

I think someone has done a right number on you as it would explain a great many things and for that I am sorry that you were hurt

How would you know the wedding wouldn't have been cancelled if the person hadn't died?

I'm just not generally a histrionic person Didge. I notice that you often start threads about luuuurve and you're quite soppy.

It does not matter, as when at the time of death, they were set to marry and at that point were as seen married emotionally inside, the point you miss every time.

No you can be very emotive rags on things that matter to you, which means some things are important, but you show a cold shoulder many times to matters of love, which says to me resentment every time.
Like I say, someone did a right number on you and its evident, you have never gotten over that by the brick wall you continue to show today
This wall is of course false, but its what you use to protect yourself from being hurt

There is never anything ever soppy about two people who are in love

Didge wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

How would you know the wedding wouldn't have been cancelled if the person hadn't died?

I'm just not generally a histrionic person Didge. I notice that you often start threads about luuuurve and you're quite soppy.

It does not matter, as when at the time of death, they were set to marry and at that point were as seen married emotionally inside, the point you miss every time.

No you can be very emotive rags on things that matter to you, which means some things are important, but you show a cold shoulder many times to matters of love, which says to me resentment every time.
Like I say, someone did a right number on you and its evident, you have never gotten over that by the brick wall you continue to show today
This wall is of course false, but its what you use to protect yourself from being hurt

There is never anything ever soppy about two people who are in love

Emotive isn't the same as histrionic.

I like legal issues, medical science, the stock market. I don't read Mills & Boon, or watch soppy films. I like murder mysteries and war films. The subject which I get most upset about is animal abuse I guess.

You like soppy stuff. You approve of attention seeking, and I don't. Each to their own.

Raggamuffin wrote:

Didge wrote:


It does not matter, as when at the time of death, they were set to marry and at that point were as seen married emotionally inside, the point you miss every time.

No you can be very emotive rags on things that matter to you, which means some things are important, but you show a cold shoulder many times to matters of love, which says to me resentment every time.
Like I say, someone did a right number on you and its evident, you have never gotten over that by the brick wall you continue to show today
This wall is of course false, but its what you use to protect yourself from being hurt

There is never anything ever soppy about two people who are in love

Emotive isn't the same as histrionic.

I like legal issues, medical science, the stock market. I don't read Mills & Boon, or watch soppy films. I like murder mysteries and war films. The subject which I get most upset about is animal abuse I guess.

You like soppy stuff. Each to their own.

I never said you read or like love films or books, but again its evident to me you are very protective of your emotions and that then has a cause and reason behind that
Again your concept that love is soppy, shows more a fear again of love. As again the wall you use to protect you from hurt. As there is nothing soppy when two people are in love

Didge wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

Emotive isn't the same as histrionic.

I like legal issues, medical science, the stock market. I don't read Mills & Boon, or watch soppy films. I like murder mysteries and war films. The subject which I get most upset about is animal abuse I guess.

You like soppy stuff. Each to their own.

I never said you read or like love films or books, but again its evident to me you are very protective of your emotions and that then has a cause and reason behind that
Again your concept that love is soppy, shows more a fear again of love, again the wall you use to protect you from hurt. As there is nothing soppy when two people are in love

I'm just a logical sort of person Didge, and it seems completely illogical to me to say that a dead person was married when they weren't.

You're always starting soppy threads which bore me. Sorry if that upsets you.

Raggamuffin wrote:

Didge wrote:


I never said you read or like love films or books, but again its evident to me you are very protective of your emotions and that then has a cause and reason behind that
Again your concept that love is soppy, shows more a fear again of love, again the wall you use to protect you from hurt. As there is nothing soppy when two people are in love

I'm just a logical sort of person Didge, and it seems completely illogical to me to say that a dead person was married when they weren't.

You're always starting soppy threads which bore me. Sorry if that upsets you.

Again you can be as logical as you like, fearing then the unknown, but again it would be a fear to say and believe love is soppy if for two reasons

One you have never experienced love, which I reckon you have, and thus it falls down to number 2

You have been badly hurt

I do not mean to be personal Rags, I just think I understand you better now

It does not upset me if you think they are soppy, all that says to me is that you are afraid to embrace love and that has a cause and a reason

Didge wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

I'm just a logical sort of person Didge, and it seems completely illogical to me to say that a dead person was married when they weren't.

You're always starting soppy threads which bore me. Sorry if that upsets you.

Again you can be as logical as you like, fearing then the unknown, but again it would be a fear to say and believe love is soppy if for two reasons

One you have never experienced love, which I reckon you have, and thus it falls down to number 2

You have been badly hurt

I do not mean to be personal Rags, I just think I understand you better now

It does not upset me if you think they are soppy, all that says to me is that you are afraid to embrace love and that has a cause and a reason

I also don't really enjoy personal conversations on forums, and I'm quite private, so I'm not going to get drawn in by your shenanigans. I prefer to be called a "cold fish".

Raggamuffin wrote:

Didge wrote:



Again you can be as logical as you like, fearing then the unknown, but again it would be a fear to say and believe love is soppy if for two reasons

One you have never experienced love, which I reckon you have, and thus it falls down to number 2

You have been badly hurt

I do not mean to be personal Rags, I just think I understand you better now

It does not upset me if you think they are soppy, all that says to me is that you are afraid to embrace love and that has a cause and a reason

I also don't really enjoy personal conversations on forums, and I'm quite private, so I'm not going to get drawn in by your shenanigans. I prefer to be called a "cold fish".

No problems rags, I understand, but one last couple of points

You already do love someone, that person being Jesus, which as seen you do get very emotional over religion, even more so your own being criticized. That shows you do very much have the capacity for love. That kind of love is easier because this love you have with Jesus, is never going to let you down, fight back with you or cheat on you, as you have faith in Jesus. This love only has the risk that you could be wrong in Jesus being the son of God, but that love you have for him is real. So if you have that capacity for love for Jesus, then you also very much have the capacity and compassion to have love with someone who is physically real in this life, lets say. So again I think the reason you deny yourself is for the reasons I have given.

Anyway I hope and wish that you do find and have all the love that someone truly could give you

Well, just to clarify, a massive bereavement is never ever something you get over.
My mum will never remarry - she isn't remotely even interested - she still longs for my dad EVERY SINGLE DAY.

eddie wrote:Well, just to clarify, a massive bereavement is never ever something you get over.
My mum will never remarry - she isn't remotely even interested - she still longs for my dad EVERY SINGLE DAY.

As did my Nan for 18 years, as does my Dad now.


And Rags does not need to talk about personal things to show how cold she is, the way she talks about the subject and the tone of her posts say it all.

All I'm saying is that not everyone feels the same way. I don't care if you think I'm cold Sassy. I think you're a histrionic, over-emotional, illogical, silly woman. Worse than Didge in fact.

Raggamuffin wrote:All I'm saying is that not everyone feels the same way. I don't care if you think I'm cold Sassy. I think you're a histrionic, over-emotional, illogical, silly woman. Worse than Didge in fact.

Well considering your love is for something you cannot even prove exists, how in anyway does that place you into the realms of being logical Rags? You again get over emotional on this topic, so clearly your love allows you to get over emotional too

It's interesting how two people have turned this thread into some kind of character analysis ...

They just can't seem to detach themselves at all.

Raggamuffin wrote:It's interesting how two people have turned this thread into some kind of character analysis ...

They just can't seem to detach themselves at all.

Well rags, I am further elaborating onto your point on a person being dead, yet your love is for something you cannot prove exists.
And marriage is to many people them being able to express to not only each other that love but to everyone else their love that they have
Love is after all the one thing that truly is eternal for some and by helping ease the loss of where people were committed both inside and had planned for the future. Then you may now begin to understand how where your love requires no contract, but your faith. That there is no reason to deny, what only death denied two people from only being able to celebrate their love by a special day

Completely illogical and soppy post from you Didge.

Do you have any idea how alike you and Sassy actually are?

Raggamuffin wrote:Completely illogical and soppy post from you Didge.

Do you have any idea how alike you and Sassy actually are?

By your reply, I would say it was bang on the money

Again your brick wall is up by the poor attempt at humour Rags

You fail to understand I read many people like a book

Its kind of a curse and gift at the same time

As if you think its illogical then, your love of Jesus is completely illogical as your love is for something only within your mind.
That love is inside you.

Raggamuffin wrote:All I'm saying is that not everyone feels the same way. I don't care if you think I'm cold Sassy. I think you're a histrionic, over-emotional, illogical, silly woman. Worse than Didge in fact.

The fact that you find empathising and understanding one of the deepest, most profound emotions a human being can feel is over-emotional, illogical and silly not only proves my point, but is very, very sad.  I feel really sorry for you and I'm not joking or taking the piss in any way.

sassy wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:All I'm saying is that not everyone feels the same way. I don't care if you think I'm cold Sassy. I think you're a histrionic, over-emotional, illogical, silly woman. Worse than Didge in fact.

The fact that you find empathising and understanding one of the deepest, most profound emotions a human being can feel is over-emotional, illogical and silly not only proves my point, but is very, very sad.  I feel really sorry for you and I'm not joking or taking the piss in any way.

That's really sweet of you, but there's no need. You and Didge just concentrate on your own feelings.

It's interesting that you both decided to get personal ...

Raggamuffin wrote:

sassy wrote:


The fact that you find empathising and understanding one of the deepest, most profound emotions a human being can feel is over-emotional, illogical and silly not only proves my point, but is very, very sad.  I feel really sorry for you and I'm not joking or taking the piss in any way.

That's really sweet of you, but there's no need. You and Didge just concentrate on your own feelings.

It's interesting that you both decided to get personal ...

It's a lot more interesting you can't relate to emotion.  Never mind, means you miss out on so much in life, as I said, really sad.

sassy wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

That's really sweet of you, but there's no need. You and Didge just concentrate on your own feelings.

It's interesting that you both decided to get personal ...

It's a lot more interesting you can't relate to emotion.  Never mind, means you miss out on so much in life, as I said, really sad.

All this just because I said that some people get over bereavement. It must be exhausting for you to live your life in a constant state of hysteria. You should try to calm down a bit and chill out.

Raggamuffin wrote:

sassy wrote:


It's a lot more interesting you can't relate to emotion.  Never mind, means you miss out on so much in life, as I said, really sad.

All this just because I said that some people get over bereavement. It must be exhausting for you to live your life in a constant state of hysteria. You should try to calm down a bit and chill out.

You equate hysteria with empathy and understnding.  You do have a problem don't you.

sassy wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

All this just because I said that some people get over bereavement. It must be exhausting for you to live your life in a constant state of hysteria. You should try to calm down a bit and chill out.

You equate hysteria with empathy and understnding.  You do have a problem don't you.

No - only in your eyes, and your eyes are a bit manic.

Are you saying that nobody ever gets over bereavement and marries again or gets a new life? If everyone was so fond of their spouses, there would be no divorce would there?

Right measuring bust size is over ladies

Move on

Agreeing with each other must really be killing you two.

Raggamuffin wrote:Agreeing with each other must really be killing you two.

 

Brick wall up again and the use of humour to deflect

I only asked that you both move on

I can agree things with people even if most of their views I find wrong

Thats called progression Rags

You should try it sometime

Didge wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:Agreeing with each other must really be killing you two.

 

Brick wall up again and the use of humour to deflect

I only asked that you both move on

I can agree things with people even if most of their views I find wrong

Thats called progression Rags

You should try it sometime

Well you didn't move on - not until I stopped replying to your nonsense anyway.

Raggamuffin wrote:

sassy wrote:


You equate hysteria with empathy and understnding.  You do have a problem don't you.

No - only in your eyes, and your eyes are a bit manic.

Are you saying that nobody ever gets over bereavement and marries again or gets a new life? If everyone was so fond of their spouses, there would be no divorce would there?

No, I'm saying you learn to handle bereavement, which is not the same as getting over it, and you can make a new life and remarry, but there is always a place in your soul that never, ever, goes away.   In fact, partners of people who have been previously bereaved understand that, know they are not second best, just a different life.   And we have been talking about people who have been in love with their spouses when they die, not people getting a divorce so don't move the goal posts.

Raggamuffin wrote:

Didge wrote:


Brick wall up again and the use of humour to deflect

I only asked that you both move on

I can agree things with people even if most of their views I find wrong

Thats called progression Rags

You should try it sometime

Well you didn't move on - not until I stopped replying to your nonsense anyway.

There was nothing to move on with you

I reasoned my points, you had no answer to them, because you knew you would contradict

Hence again the poor attempt at deflecting again with the smile

Its your brick wall showing to be up defensively

There is no need Rags, just move on, its simple

Which I will do now and leave you to ponder on that

Cheers

Raggamuffin wrote:Agreeing with each other must really be killing you two.

 

I wouldn't know and frankly wouldn't care as he is just a line on the page.

sassy wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

No - only in your eyes, and your eyes are a bit manic.

Are you saying that nobody ever gets over bereavement and marries again or gets a new life? If everyone was so fond of their spouses, there would be no divorce would there?

No, I'm saying you learn to handle bereavement, which is not the same as getting over it, and you can make a new life and remarry, but there is always a place in your soul that never, ever, goes away.   In fact, partners of people who have been previously bereaved understand that, know they are not second best, just a different life.   And we have been talking about people who have been in love with their spouses when they die, not people getting a divorce so don't move the goal posts.

You can't speak for everyone though can you? You have this habit of doing that, and you think you know what's best for everyone and how everyone feels. I'm afraid you're mistaken.

I'm not talking about people who are divorced either, I'm saying that some people are married to people they don't really like much any more anyway - as evidenced by the divorce rate. Some just don't bother to get divorced though.

Raggamuffin wrote:

sassy wrote:


No, I'm saying you learn to handle bereavement, which is not the same as getting over it, and you can make a new life and remarry, but there is always a place in your soul that never, ever, goes away.   In fact, partners of people who have been previously bereaved understand that, know they are not second best, just a different life.   And we have been talking about people who have been in love with their spouses when they die, not people getting a divorce so don't move the goal posts.

You can't speak for everyone though can you? You have this habit of doing that, and you think you know what's best for everyone and how everyone feels. I'm afraid you're mistaken.

I'm not talking about people who are divorced either, I'm saying that some people are married to people they don't really like much any more anyway - as evidenced by the divorce rate. Some just don't bother to get divorced though.

Total deflection, because we were talking about people who were in love.  And you have the habit of thinking that emotional feeling is specific to one person, when anyone who has dealt with people in emotional difficulties of any kind will tell you that the feelings are normally as intense with everyone although how they handle it is specific to them.

It's obviously not something you will ever understand Rags, as you don't seem to have the capability of doing so.  As I said, I find that really sad because it must be like living your life as a robot.

sassy wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:

You can't speak for everyone though can you? You have this habit of doing that, and you think you know what's best for everyone and how everyone feels. I'm afraid you're mistaken.

I'm not talking about people who are divorced either, I'm saying that some people are married to people they don't really like much any more anyway - as evidenced by the divorce rate. Some just don't bother to get divorced though.

Total deflection, because we were talking about people who were in love.  And you have the habit of thinking that emotional feeling is specific to one person, when anyone who has dealt with people in emotional difficulties of any kind will tell you that the feeling are normally as intense with everyone.

It's obviously not something you will ever understand Rags, as you don't seem to have the capability of doing so.  As I said, I find that really sad because it must be like living your life as a robot.

We were talking about people being bereaved. I merely said that some people get over it, which is true. You decided to make a big scene about it - more histrionics. You're making yourself ill by being like that all the time.

And for the record, I don't think rags is cold per se, I think she's cautious
Two different things

eddie wrote:And for the record, I don't think rags is cold per se, I think she's cautious
Two different things

She is far from cold, she loves Jesus, which shows she does emotionally love as i said

Why would someone be cautious Eddie?

We learn at different variances from our mistakes

Some it can make them ultra defensive.
She is a good girl Rags, she just needs to allow herself to open up a bit more

I don't like discussing her without her being here, because in a way, she reminds me of my mum and a good friend of mine who's just left my house....they're just extremely private and cautious people who don't like to overly "emote"

I think you, and I and sassy aren't like that and wear our heart on our sleeves.

eddie wrote:I don't like discussing her without her being here, because in a way, she reminds me of my mum and a good friend of mine who's just left my house....they're just extremely private and cautious people who don't like to overly "emote"

I think you, and I and sassy aren't like that and wear our heart on our sleeves.

I only wish the best for her eddie, that is the truth, I just understand her far better now

Anyway as you say its private, it j ust had some relevance to a point I was making earlier, which is now reasoned

So I will rightly respect your point and drop it

Anyway night

x

Night didge X