Men who are abused by women.

Women can be devious, nasty, abusive, violent and often hold the trump card of knowing they will almost definitely be given custody of any kids they may have had with their partner.
They may not batter their men to death at the rate of 84 in a year (see other thread) but they surely know how to grind the poor buggers down in other ways.

Agreed, used to have a neighbour who would throw her husband out in the middle of the night, in his pj's, whatever the weather.  Took him in one night because he was freezing, only to have her start throwing bottles at my front door because she was pissed as a fart (they were landlord and landlady of the pub over the road!)

Lord Foul wrote:

Syl wrote:


That's rubbish.
It is different because mindsets are different.

A lot of abuse is psychological for a start, men work in very different ways to women.
Men generally have the upper hand when it comes to physical abuse on account of their sheer strength in comparison.


so what are you saying?

its different because male abusers are violence prone brutes and thus evil
but female abusers are "just" bitches"

I mean , I cant blame you this is the message courts have been sending out for years


then we have

and of course we all know if a man kills his missus he's just a bastard that should do 50 life sentences and have his balls cut off

but if a woman kills a man ...well she's a naughty girl, but no doubt the twat deserved it

the societal bias aginst abused men

No I'm saying no such thing.

You are making those stereotype comparisons between men and women who abuse not me.



I'll take this over here then since you seem to want to relegate it as a "different thing"

WHY and HOW is te mindset different

also its not me that makes the comparisons

that is te message from courts and society

There are many differences Lord F.
Not many women actually murder their spouses... though you pointed out in the other thread that some men are so beaten down by the abuser that they kill themselves.

The figures show the vast difference in numbers between women who are beaten and abused and men who are abused by their partners, so men more often abuse, and they abuse for longer.

Men have different things to lose if a relationship breaks down especially if children are involved.

Men by nature are hunter gatherers....women are by nature nurturers....all these things come into play.

And yes, courts do treat men and women differently and not always fairly, that probably makes a difference to how men and women act too.

Lord Foul wrote:

Syl wrote:There are many differences Lord F.
Not many women actually murder their spouses... though you pointed out in the other thread that some men are so beaten down by the abuser that they kill themselves.

The figures show the vast difference in numbers between women who are beaten and abused and men who are abused by their partners, so men more often abuse, and they abuse for longer.

I doubt that, the difference is down to reporting and the recording..if a bloke goes to the police and complains he is being abused, especially if its phsychological abuse, it is more likely than not to be ignored/dismissed

if a woman complains of psychological abuse then satan is sure to descend on the bloke...even IF the womans "report" is found to be part of a patern of abuse BY HER


Men have different things to lose if a relationship breaks down especially if children are involved.

yeah...like ....everything

Men by nature are hunter gatherers....women are by nature nurturers....all these things come into play.

I'll remember that next time some-one calls me a "sexist"


And yes, courts do treat men and women differently and not always fairly, that probably makes a difference to how men and women act too.

Sexist.... night night.

Syl wrote:

Lord Foul wrote:

Sexist....  night night.

you crack me up

Lord Foul wrote:

Syl wrote:


Sexist....  night night.

you crack me up

Does the truth hurt?
On the other thread you came across as a woman hater.

now why would I be a woman hater....Just because my ex physically and mentally abused me, and I had to leave my house and kids to the old witch...doesnt make me hate "women"  only that particular one

What pisses me of is that that very situation is almost universally trivialised or reduced to the

"yes thats bad too, but we are too busy dealing with the womans side of it to bother with you"

I'm 5 foot 9" of walking wall

I trained in martial arts for years

I could at any time have snapped her like a twig

but...I never raised a hand

becasue thats just not done. It is dishonourable

(destroyed a door or two mind you.....its called agression displacement)

woman hater.... I dont think so

I may well be sexist in jest, (since I am possibbly the least PC on here), but only where its patently "ridiculous"

I am the proud owner of a blue tie with a little pink pig and the letters MCP embroidered on it....

no syl...I'm NOT a "woman hater"

you however seem to belong in the "yes it happens and its shit but tough" camp

Lord Foul wrote:now why would I be a woman hater....Just because my ex physically and mentally abused me, and I had to leave my house and kids to the old witch...doesnt make me hate "women"  only that particular one

What pisses me of is that that very situation is almost universally trivialised or reduced to the

"yes thats bad too, but we are too busy dealing with the womans side of it to bother with you"

I'm 5 foot 9" of walking wall

I trained in martial arts for years

I could at any time have snapped her like a twig

but...I never raised a hand

becasue thats just not done. It is dishonourable

(destroyed a door or two mind you.....its called agression displacement)

woman hater.... I dont think so

I may well be sexist in jest, (since I am possibbly the least PC on here), but only where its patently "ridiculous"

I am the proud owner of a blue tie with a little pink pig and the letters MCP embroidered on it....

no syl...I'm NOT a "woman hater"

you however seem to belong in the "yes it happens and its shit but tough" camp

Can you explain how you have come to that conclusion?

yup

you dont wish the matter discussed in the "love you to death thread"

you refer to "spoues abuse" but then restrict it to abuse perpetrated by MEN on women

I make te point that it cuts two ways

and its made plain that I should "bugger off and make my own thread" about that subject

thereby delegitimising and relegating the "other side of the coin"

"yes yes dear...heres a thread for you"


the societal patronising matronising? attitude to abuse on men.....

surely ALL abuse of this nature is equal in abhorence ...or maybe not.........

Lord Foul wrote:now why would I be a woman hater....Just because my ex physically and mentally abused me, and I had to leave my house and kids to the old witch...doesnt make me hate "women"  only that particular one

What pisses me of is that that very situation is almost universally trivialised or reduced to the

"yes thats bad too, but we are too busy dealing with the womans side of it to bother with you"

I'm 5 foot 9" of walking wall

I trained in martial arts for years

I could at any time have snapped her like a twig

but...I never raised a hand

becasue thats just not done. It is dishonourable

(destroyed a door or two mind you.....its called agression displacement)

woman hater.... I dont think so

I may well be sexist in jest, (since I am possibbly the least PC on here), but only where its patently "ridiculous"

I am the proud owner of a blue tie with a little pink pig and the letters MCP embroidered on it....

no syl...I'm NOT a "woman hater"

you however seem to belong in the "yes it happens and its shit but tough" camp

But in answer to this, I'm sorry you had the misfortune to get involved with a woman who was abusive. Obviously you feel the courts treated you badly, but their job is to put the children first....obviously they make mistakes sometimes, especially if the woman lies.

Men possibly do feel trivialised in situations like this, I said on the other thread the woman usually holds the trump card when kids are involved. Unfortunately kids cant be cut in half and when a marriage breaks down someone has to lose if both parties cant act with compassion towards each other...people who use the kids to score points are the lowest of the low.

You kept your fists to yourself, no doubt you could have snapped her like a twig, but apart from a short feeling of euphoria, you would have regretted that.

Your last sentence is daft.

Lord Foul wrote:yup

you dont wish the matter discussed in the "love you to death thread"

you refer to "spoues abuse" but then restrict it to abuse perpetrated by MEN on women

I make te point that it cuts two ways

and its made plain that I should "bugger off and make my own thread" about that subject

thereby delegitimising and relegating the "other side of the coin"

"yes yes dear...heres a thread for you"


the societal patronising matronising? attitude to abuse on men.....

surely ALL abuse of this nature is equal in abhorence ...or maybe not.........

I suggested starting another thread because you seemed to be denigrating the seriousness of the women mentioned in the other thread......which was about a TV documentary of 84 women murdered in one year by their partners.
It isn't about men being worse than women or women being worse than men, which is how you were treating the thread ....ALL abuse is wrong, no one is saying differently.
The 'other side of the coin' can be talked about at length in here without making comparisons.

Syl wrote:

Lord Foul wrote:yup

you dont wish the matter discussed in the "love you to death thread"

you refer to "spoues abuse" but then restrict it to abuse perpetrated by MEN on women

I make te point that it cuts two ways

and its made plain that I should "bugger off and make my own thread" about that subject

thereby delegitimising and relegating the "other side of the coin"

"yes yes dear...heres a thread for you"


the societal patronising matronising? attitude to abuse on men.....

surely ALL abuse of this nature is equal in abhorence ...or maybe not.........

I suggested starting another thread because you seemed to be denigrating the seriousness of the women mentioned in the other thread......which was about a TV documentary of 84 women murdered in one year by their partners.
It isn't about men being worse than women or women being worse than men, which is how you were treating the thread ....ALL abuse is wrong, no one is saying differently.
The 'other side of the coin' can be talked about at length in here without making comparisons.

The penny has not dropped yet?
As to why Victor would feel strongly about this and I agree with him.
To seperate the two groups is an absolute no brainer, as then the options are decreased to feel brace and ready to come forward with their problems. To be a part of or welcomed into groups where both men and women suffer their experinces together to help each other. It will also help build trust of which would have been lost between the genders for both males and females. By seperating what is effectively one issue, domestic violence no matter who commits it. Further as it has dine for ages, made many make victims scared to come forward.
So whether the abuser is male or female, they both fundementally have people that tick the boxes of traits that defune absuers. Some may not have all, but he variance will be as different between men, as it is between women and men on shared traits. The are many traits also and thus it is a singular problem that shoulc be tackled as one problem. By claiming they are different allows for a view to grow that then victims feel less of victims because some people are wrongly trying to argue if which gender suffers most. When what should be the way forward is to help all who need help in order that they are able to come forward. Victims already are suffering mentally through all this and hence why the object should be to tackle this as one problem.

Hence you would be better placed to debate on the topic as a whole.
I would be greatful that if you do take on my points, that it would be very nice of you to change the title of this thread.

Thanks

lol lol lol

That told him Syl.

Was it both barrels???? lol

QUITE RIGHTLY of course, women who are abused can flee to a purpose made "place of safety, the shelters as they call them. There they will be given a multitude of resources, medical, councelling , the police will be involved, childrens team, the works. Tere will be huge efforts put into finding them a home if necessary.

A man in a similar situation will be entirely on his own

he will have to make his own way to casualty if he needs medical attention. the police will laugh at him, he will have nowhere to go, there are no "shelters for abused men". He will be offered NO help by the council since even if as is usual in such cases, he is homeless, the council view will be that he made himself deliberately homeless so tough. If he has to have councelling, his employment is likely to be affected

More married men suffer abuse from their spouse than married women
   These days, women move more in men's worlds
   They earn and compete with as much aggression as their male colleagues
   Women are also fast catching up with men in the alchohol stakes

By Antonia Hoyle for The Mail on Sunday

Published: 23:49, 4 December 2013 | Updated: 23:49, 4 December 2013



MIchelle Mills was as impeccably groomed as she was well mannered. Her nails were neatly manicured; her blonde hair sleek. Her gentle nature and diminutive, 4 ft 11 in stature seemed perfectly suited to her career as a children's nursery worker.

But Michelle's pleasant demeanour masked an altogether more disturbing personality. Behind closed doors she was a volatile character, prone to irrational behaviour and violent outbursts, as her boyfriend Edward Miller would discover.
Picture perfect: Michelle Mills (pictured with boyfriend Edward Miller) was impeccably groomed and had a pleasant demeanour


Michelle subjected Edward to an onslaught of abuse. He was scratched, punched and screamed at until one morning Michelle, brandishing a kitchen knife, stabbed him to death in the living room of their picturesque cottage in the pretty village of Scalford, Leicestershire.

The attack was so ferocious that that the knife blade broke away from the handle. In April, Michelle was convicted of murder and sentenced to life in prison.

'Eddie was a kind man who would never hurt anyone,' says his mother Sara Wrestle, blinking back tears. 'I still can't believe he's gone. I want other men who are suffering at the hands of an abusive wife or girlfriend to seek help, so that nobody else loses their life like my son did.'


 



Troublingly, in a society where the roles of men and women are becoming increasingly blurred, female-on-male domestic violence is on the rise.


But, in a fit of rage, Michelle stabbed Edward to death, here pictured aged 18 - the year he first met Michelle

The latest findings from the British Crime Survey reveal that 17 men were killed by their partners in England and Wales last year.

Forty per cent of reported domestic abuse victims were male (although this includes assaults by male relatives and partners).

Incredibly, if these figures are to be believed, more married men suffered abuse at the hands of their spouse than married women  (2.3 per cent of married men were recorded to have complained about domestic abuse compared with 1.8 per cent of married women).

Of course, it is easy to blame women's increased violence on their emancipation: they move more in men's worlds, earning and competing with as much aggression and vigour as their as male colleagues.

They're drinking more, too: figures from the Office of National Statistics show that women are fast catching men up in the alcohol stakes. The proportion of women consuming more than the recommended limit of 14 units a week has grown by a fifth in a decade.

'Domestic abuse against men is one of Britain's last remaining taboos, but every year our helpline is seeing at least a 25 per cent increase in the number of men seeking help,' says Mark Brooks, chairman of Mankind, a charity for male victims.

Eddie was 18 and had just graduated from a business studies course at college when he met Michelle, then 29, through mutual friends.

'She was Eddie's first serious girlfriend and his eyes lit up when he spoke of her,' says Sara.

Sara, 48, invited Michelle over for dinner. 'She was well mannered and friendly. Eddie seemed so happy the age gap didn't bother me.'

Yet there were perhaps already troubling signs. Michelle had a young son and daughter who were living with their different fathers and with whom she had only sporadic contact. She also had a predilection for alcohol.

'When she'd drunk too much she would find fault with even the smallest things Eddie did,' says Sara. 'If she didn't think he was being attentive enough towards her she'd snap at him. If he was tired she'd accuse him of being grumpy. I didn't feel it was my place to intervene.'
Sara Wrestle, Edward's mum: 'When [Michelle] drank too much she would find fault with even the smallest things Eddie did'

Sara Wrestle, Edward's mum: 'When [Michelle] drank too much she would find fault with even the smallest things Eddie did'

Sara, a former hospitality manager who became a full-time mother after Eddie was born, did her best to befriend Michelle.

But in October 2011 Eddie - who was a strapping 6 ft tall and 14 stone - came home with scratches and bruises on his face after spending the night at Michelle's three-bedroom home in Melton Mowbray.

'I was horrified,' says Sara. 'Eddie admitted Michelle, drunk, had lashed out at him. He wouldn't say what the argument was about and insisted he could handle himself.'  As the months passed, Michelle became ever more controlling.
Edward, aged two: 'Eddie was a kind man who would never hut anyone,' Sara says

Edward, aged two: 'Eddie was a kind man who would never hut anyone,' Sara says

'She was jealous of Eddie's friends,' says Sara. 'If he was out, she'd text him saying he had to come home. Once she even threatened to kill herself if he didn't. Eddie grew withdrawn. I suggested he leave Michelle but he said he loved her.'

So that December, less than a year after they had started seeing each other, Sara talked to Michelle instead: 'She admitted she had a problem with alcohol and wanted to stop drinking,' she recalls.

'For a while she and Eddie seemed happy together. But one evening in July 2012, when the couple were spending the night at Sara's house, she heard Michelle shouting.

'They'd been lying on Eddie's bed watching a film while sharing a bottle of wine,' says Sara. 'I knew they were drinking but tried not to worry. Michelle insisted she could handle alcohol in moderation.'

But the shouting intensified and Sara opened the bedroom door to see Michelle punching Eddie's chest. 'Appalled, I tried to pull her away, but she grabbed a mug and threw it at him.'




Sara finally managed to drag Michelle into the spare room, where Michelle picked up a mirror and hurled it to the floor.

'Furious, I told her to leave my house,' says Sara. 'She left - but not before calmly putting her make-up on in the reflection of a shattered piece of glass. It was chilling.'

Even then, she couldn't stop Eddie's infatuation with this volatile woman.

'He was 20; an adult. And at the back of my mind was always Michelle's tiny build – how much harm could she do?'

Sara last saw her son on November 2, 2012. 'Eddie had been accepted on a hotel management course and they seemed happy.' But four days later, at 5.20am, two police officers knocked on Sara's door. They said that Eddie had been stabbed and had died from his injuries. 'I was numb with disbelief,' says Sara.
Tragedy: Last year, Edward was murdered. This year, Michelle was jailed for life



It wasn't until later that day that a family liaison officer told Sara that Michelle had been arrested and charged with her son's murder.

Michelle had apparently stabbed Eddie 24 times in his back, chest and stomach. She'd then waited 20 minutes before calling an ambulance, by which time Eddie was dead. Sara, inconsolable, was prescribed sleeping tablets and went to counselling while Michelle remained in custody.

During a four-week trial at Lincoln Crown Court, two former boyfriends testified that Michelle had attacked them with knives. Charges had never been brought against her.

Money and infidelity seem the two biggest external triggers for female domestic violence.

The examples are myriad and depressing. In March 2010 Jennifer Parkinson, 68, stabbed her husband, retired headmaster Michael, 65, to death after the couple's £1 million property portfolio went bust and they faced bankruptcy.

And in August 2010, office manager Sally Challen, then 57,  bludgeoned her wealthy car salesman husband Richard, 61, over the head with a hammer after discovering he'd had  an affair.




Sandra Clinch, a four-times-married mother-of-five, unleashed her fury on at least two of her former husbands before she stabbed her fourth husband Alan to death in May last year.

To the outside world Sandra, 50, seemed a devoted wife and mother. Known to her friends as Sandy, she liked needlework and keeping her semi-detached home in the tiny Cornish village of Darite immaculate.

But her respectable middle-class facade belied a vicious temper. Her first husband Andrew Fazekas, 52, a social worker with whom she has two sons, recalls Sandra becoming so enraged on the night before their 1981 wedding that she threw their wedding cake across the room. 'On another occasion, Sandra stabbed me in the left arm, cut my right wrist and attacked me with a pipe from the vacuum cleaner.'

Their son recalled: 'A red mist would come down and she got into a rage. That would be over the smallest thing such as not washing up properly or using the wrong sort of polish.'  Her second husband Peter Knibbs, 50, whom she married in July 1986, and with whom she raised two children, also suffered her mood swings.

In 1989, Sandra stabbed Peter with a kitchen knife. One of their children later reported their mother to the police, but charges were never pressed.

Sandra married third husband Richard Lewis, 44, in February 1995.

They had a daughter but that marriage failed, too, and in 2001 she met Alan, a slight and unassuming man who devoted his spare time to charity and his passion for American cars.
Vicious temper: Sandra Clinch unleashed her fury on at least two of her former husbands before she stabbed her fourth husband Alan to death in May last year



When Sandra lashed out at him, he would react not with anger but with kindness. 'He would usually give me a kiss and I would calm down,' she admitted in court. But being at the receiving end of his wife's sharp tongue undoubtedly had an impact.

Alan became withdrawn. In the years before his death he tried to leave Sandra twice but, too weak to leave, came back. Neighbours regularly heard Sandra screaming at Alan during their one-sided rows, while the couple's boss at the home improvement store where they both worked claims he saw Sandra hitting her husband round the face during a fight in their car.

But on May 13 2012, something inside Alan, 48, snapped.

As he tended to their garden, Sandra demanded he come in and tidy ahead of their friends' arrival for Sunday lunch. Instead of complying he apparently said, simply: 'shut up.'

Sandra picked up a pair of her embroidery scissors - bought for a dress-making course - and plunged them into her husband's chest. As he lay dying, she dialled 999 and told attendant paramedics: 'Please help him. I love him so much.'

In court, Sandra - still wearing her wedding ring - claimed Alan's death was an accident. But she was found guilty of manslaughter on the grounds of diminished responsibility and sentenced to nine years.
Troubling: female-on-male domestic violence is on the rise



No one knows whether Alan ever sought help for the abuse he was suffering, but it would appear not; according to recent research men are twice as likely as women to keep abuse secret.

'They feel emasculated,' says Mark Brooks. 'Their pride is undermined and they are reluctant to see themselves  as victims.'

Leonora Sinclair, for one, took pleasure out of belittling her third husband Lloyd, 73.

An extrovert with an active social life, Leonora, 51, met Lloyd, a driver for a church care centre, in 2008.

He had four adult children and was proud to have put them through university.

Now his children had flown the nest, he was seeking someone else to centre his world around. They married in March 2011, but their relationship soon grew fractious.
Shocking: Leonora Sinclair, 50, was jailed for ten years for killing her husband Lloyd

Shocking: Leonora Sinclair, 50, was jailed for ten years for killing her husband Lloyd

The couple rowed over money and Lloyd began to bear the brunt of Leonora's aggression. He would go to work with bruises on his face, admitting they had been caused by Leonora. One colleague recalled: 'He always had an injury.'

In September 2011 Lloyd called the police after a row, saying his wife had 'gone crazy.' They arrived to find her in a locked bedroom with a knife. On another occasion, she apparently broke his arm.

Lloyd's friend Monica Thompson once saw Leonora beating him up outside her London home. 'He was very calm as usual while she was raging at him,' she says.

'He was afraid of her. She was hitting him in his face and everywhere. He was quite shocked.'

On the afternoon of Lloyd's death, January 15, 2011, Leonora sent a text to a friend. It read: 'I am watching Steel Magnolias and getting p***ed on wine while Lloyd makes the dinner. LOL (laugh out loud).'

Later that evening an argument broke out over what to watch on television. Lloyd was stabbed with a large kitchen knife in the back of his left thigh and bled to death in the hallway of their semi-detached home in Enfield, North London.

At her trial at the Old Bailey that October, Leonora insisted Lloyd must have stabbed himself by accident. Sobbing, she told the court: 'I treated my husband with respect and dignity. I loved my husband.'

The jury weren't convinced. Sandra was convicted of manslaughter and jailed for ten years; one of an increasing number of women whose violence plagued - then ended - their husband's lives.

Additional reporting: Lauren Taylor



Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2518434/Why-MEN-victims-domestic-violence-Its-Britains-remaining-taboos-abuse-men-home-rise.html#ixzz3unrHmNcV
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this of course doesnt include the number of men in these situations that comit suicide...

also note that women tend in general to be charged with a lesser offence ...i.e manslaughter rather than murder, it is EXCEPTIONAL for a woman to be given a life sentence for murder.

and sickening though it is whilst women tend to be killed at a greater rate than men (but see above about how the trend of males being killed is rising) men suffer far more psychological abuse.
evil men tend to be killers
evil women are mind benders

perhaps a gender difference?

Lord Foul wrote:and sickening though it is whilst women tend to be killed at a greater rate than men (but see above about how the trend of males being killed is rising) men suffer far more psychological abuse.
evil men tend to be killers
evil women are mind benders

perhaps a gender difference?

Hence my point on dealing with to view as a singual problem that of domestic violence.You still need supportive groups,. easpcially to help men and women to feel able to come forward bt only as a start point. Of which is the biggest hurdle for men to find the means to be able to clear that fence. To me if we look to then help all genders  later on as part of the help process collectivelly, which is further complictaed based on sexuality as well. It is what is needed for those now who suffer then from low self esteem, unable to trust the opposite sex. Such bringing together of victims of the opposite sex, allows for then a better and greater understanding on the many difficulties face by each gender. By gaining a better understanding not on;y pff their own gender but the opposite, makes them then able to look at the problem in problem in human society. That is open and supportive too all victims. I mean if going off homosexuality, where does that leave the female and male victim? They know doubt I guess are even less likely to seek suppoprt, where it is gender that owuld be the stumbling block for them to go to for help. Hence why on a problem that effects many people, needs to be dealt with collectivelly as a problem that has continued to plague societies since time immoral. Surely people can see that more groups, become less gender focused to deal with specifically and open to all, allows for then more avenues for people to consider seeking help off.

Lord Foul wrote:QUITE RIGHTLY of course, women who are abused can flee to a purpose made "place of safety, the shelters as they call them. There they will be given a multitude of resources, medical, councelling , the police will be involved, childrens team, the works. Tere will be huge efforts put into finding them a home if necessary.

A man in a similar situation will be entirely on his own

he will have to make his own way to casualty if he needs medical attention. the police will laugh at him, he will have nowhere to go, there are no "shelters for abused men". He will be offered NO help by the council since even if as is usual in such cases, he is homeless, the council view will be that he made himself deliberately homeless so tough. If he has to have councelling, his employment is likely to be affected

Would you deny a woman fleeing an abusive partner with young kids in tow all the above help?
I certainly wouldn't.

As for your opinion that a man is laughed at if he reports abuse, that's not the case nowadays. If you are talking of your personal experience you must have been very unlucky.
I know of a case where the man was hit, scratched, and generally knocked about....the woman actually made the call to the police saying she was being abused. When the police arrived she was still being abusive and maintained she had been hit, the police asked if she had any marks, she had none, the man was bleeding, the police (one man one woman) asked him if he wanted to press charges against her.

Richard The Lionheart wrote:

Syl wrote:

I suggested starting another thread because you seemed to be denigrating the seriousness of the women mentioned in the other thread......which was about a TV documentary of 84 women murdered in one year by their partners.
It isn't about men being worse than women or women being worse than men, which is how you were treating the thread ....ALL abuse is wrong, no one is saying differently.
The 'other side of the coin' can be talked about at length in here without making comparisons.

The penny has not dropped yet?
As to why Victor would feel strongly about this and I agree with him.
To seperate the two groups is an absolute no brainer, as then the options are decreased to feel brace and ready to come forward with their problems. To be a part of or welcomed into groups where both men and women suffer their experinces together to help each other. It will also help build trust of which would have been lost between the genders for both males and females. By seperating what is effectively one issue, domestic violence no matter who commits it. Further as it has dine for ages, made many make victims scared to come forward.
So whether the abuser is male or female, they both fundementally have people that tick the boxes of traits that defune absuers. Some may not have all, but he variance will be as different between men, as it is between women and men on shared traits. The are many traits also and thus it is a singular problem that shoulc be tackled as one problem. By claiming they are different allows for a view to grow that then victims feel less of victims because some people are wrongly trying to argue if which gender suffers most. When what should be the way forward is to help all who need help in order that they are able to come forward. Victims already are suffering mentally through all this and hence why the object should be to tackle this as one problem.

Hence you would be better placed to debate on the topic as a whole.
I would be greatful that if you do take on my points, that it would be very nice of you to change the title of this thread.

Thanks

The penny dropped as soon as Lord F started making his posts. It's obvious he was speaking from experience and saw the other thread as some sort of dismissal on men who suffer from abuse.
It wasn't....it was specifically about women who have been murdered by their partners, it certainly wasn't a competition to prove which sex can be the cruellest.

So that's why I started another thread to discuss male abuse by females....I take your points on board but see no reason to change the title of this thread....it is what it says it is.

Syl wrote:

Richard The Lionheart wrote:


The penny has not dropped yet?
As to why Victor would feel strongly about this and I agree with him.
To seperate the two groups is an absolute no brainer, as then the options are decreased to feel brace and ready to come forward with their problems. To be a part of or welcomed into groups where both men and women suffer their experinces together to help each other. It will also help build trust of which would have been lost between the genders for both males and females. By seperating what is effectively one issue, domestic violence no matter who commits it. Further as it has dine for ages, made many make victims scared to come forward.
So whether the abuser is male or female, they both fundementally have people that tick the boxes of traits that defune absuers. Some may not have all, but he variance will be as different between men, as it is between women and men on shared traits. The are many traits also and thus it is a singular problem that shoulc be tackled as one problem. By claiming they are different allows for a view to grow that then victims feel less of victims because some people are wrongly trying to argue if which gender suffers most. When what should be the way forward is to help all who need help in order that they are able to come forward. Victims already are suffering mentally through all this and hence why the object should be to tackle this as one problem.

Hence you would be better placed to debate on the topic as a whole.
I would be greatful that if you do take on my points, that it would be very nice of you to change the title of this thread.

Thanks

The penny dropped as soon as Lord F started making his posts. It's obvious he was speaking from experience and saw the other thread as some sort of dismissal on men who suffer from abuse.
It wasn't....it was specifically about women who have been murdered by their partners, it certainly wasn't a competition to prove which sex can be the cruellest.

So that's why I started another thread to discuss male abuse by females....I take your points on board but see no reason to change the title of this thread....it is what it says it is.

Thank you for understanding.
As to the issues, I have raised with the posts what I see is the best way forward to help, in my opinion

Richard The Lionheart wrote:

Syl wrote:

The penny dropped as soon as Lord F started making his posts. It's obvious he was speaking from experience and saw the other thread as some sort of dismissal on men who suffer from abuse.
It wasn't....it was specifically about women who have been murdered by their partners, it certainly wasn't a competition to prove which sex can be the cruellest.

So that's why I started another thread to discuss male abuse by females....I take your points on board but see no reason to change the title of this thread....it is what it says it is.

Thank you for understanding.
As to the issues, I have raised with the posts what I see is the best way forward to help, in my opinion

Yes there are some helpful ideas there Richard.