Love you to death.

by Syl Thu Dec 17, 2015 2:12 pm

Between January and December 2013, 164 women were murdered in Britain, of these 86 were murdered by their partner or ex partner, usually after suffering years of mental or physical abuse.
Last night BBC2 documented the 86 women, concentrating on several, with family members talking about their mum, daughter, sister, friend, who had been murdered by the men they loved.

The women were aged between late teens to 80, some were murdered in front of their children.

Domestic violence in the UK is rising...why?

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/tv/reviews/love-you-to-death-a-year-of-domestic-violence-bbc2-tv-review-we-ve-told-them-that-daddy-killed-mummy-a6775951.html

by Guest Thu Dec 17, 2015 2:15 pm

It's quite dreadful. My daughter was beaten up badly by her partner when she was pregnant, she had a miscarriage that she never got over. He was prosecuted and got probation. While he was on probation he skepped to another town.

by Syl Thu Dec 17, 2015 2:20 pm

sassy wrote:It's quite dreadful. My daughter was beaten up badly by her partner when she was pregnant, she had a miscarriage that she never got over. He was prosecuted and got probation. While he was on probation he skepped to another town.

Tragic, this sort of abuse is so widespread but often hidden. Maybe if the punishment fit the crime (probation is pathetic) it might make cowards think twice before they lash out.
I hope your daughter managed to rebuild her life Sassy.

by Guest Thu Dec 17, 2015 2:26 pm

Thanks Syl.

by Syl Thu Dec 17, 2015 2:46 pm

On the local news today, we had a police spokesman appealing for people to keep their eyes and ears open over the festive period for people who may be suffering domestic abuse.
Usually people are asked to look out for the old folk....I have never heard an appeal to watch out for spousal abuse.

by Guest Thu Dec 17, 2015 3:03 pm

Neither have I, that's indicative of quite a problem.

by eddie Fri Dec 18, 2015 7:47 pm

Sorry about your daughter sassy. That's truly awful X

As to domestic violence, I touched upon a small part of this whilst working in education (can't say too much) and a lot of times the woman is too scared to leave or has nowhere to go if she has children.
Also there is a hell of a lot of brainwashing that goes in via the male partner toward the woman. It's physical a use with a huge amount of mental abuse alongside it.

by Victorismyhero Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:04 pm

yeah and of course ...it NEVER happens to men does it....

Rolling Eyes

by Syl Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:06 pm

It's a very complex issue.
On average women try to leave an abusive partner 7 times before they make the final break....many never do.

Generally a battered woman is hit many times before she leaves.

Leaving an abusive partner is often when the woman is in most danger.

Obviously having children makes it much more difficult, some men use the children, some even kill them to get the ultimate revenge.

by Syl Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:06 pm

Lord Foul wrote:yeah and of course ...it NEVER happens to men does it....

Yes of course it does, but to nowhere near the same extent.

by Victorismyhero Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:08 pm

and of course syl no woman would EVER do that would they

and of course when it comes to "using" the children the courts dont facilitate the woman do they...no....of course not

by Victorismyhero Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:09 pm

and women never use the children in their "get back at you schemes" do they

by eddie Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:11 pm

Lord Foul wrote:and women never use the children in their "get back at you schemes" do they

Vic women are bitches to their ex-partners a lot of the time.
But the thread is about men being abusive.

Start your own - or I'll beat you with a wet lettuce

by Victorismyhero Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:14 pm

ahh and heres'me thinking it was about "spousal abuse"

just shows dont it

men dont count as a "spouse"

when it suits

Lets have a thread about "spousal abuse"

then stop the mens side of things being discussed as well

how typically "female"

Rolling Eyes

by nicko Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:16 pm

when I got Married MY dad said "if you ever lay a finger on her in anger you'll not be a son of mine"

by Syl Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:16 pm

Lord Foul wrote:and women never use the children in their "get back at you schemes" do they

Yes they do, they don't usually go as far as to kill them though to get revenge on an ex.

The thread is about abused women and the programme that documented 84 of them who were murdered by their partners in 2013.

That is not comparable with men who are murdered by their partners, it's a completely different issue.

by Guest Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:18 pm

Victor, I know full well abuse of men happens as well, and it's vile. The only reason we are discussing just the abuse of the female is because that is what the programme was about and also it's very unusual for the abused male to be killed. It is very usual for the female, and often her children, to die. At least 2 of them every week. Abuse of either is not acceptable.

by Victorismyhero Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:18 pm

quite right Nicko

I am proud to say I have NEVER, nor ever would raise my hand to a woman, except in the GREATEST need of self defence"

by Syl Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:19 pm

Lord Foul wrote:ahh and heres'me thinking it was about "spousal abuse"

just shows dont it

men dont count as a "spouse"

when it suits

Lets have a thread about "spousal abuse"

then stop the mens side of things being discussed as well

how typically "female"

Stop whinging and start a new topic then.
I personally know of a man who was abused by a partner so I can even add to it. cheers

by Victorismyhero Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:25 pm

Syl wrote:
Lord Foul wrote:and women never use the children in their "get back at you schemes" do they

Yes they do, they don't usually go as far as to kill them though to get revenge on an ex.

The thread is about abused women and the programme that documented 84 of them who were murdered by their partners in 2013.

That is not comparable with men who are murdered by their partners, it's a completely different issue.

yeah is suppose it is...most men who die in these situations do so by suicide, and its not recorded against the abuse or abuser...

I reported mine for assault ...and the cops laughed at me

a friend reported his for VIOLENT assault.....and the cops turned up at the house, and threatened HIM with arrest if he didnt leave the house

which was then used at the diviorce as justifying his ex getting the kids (since cleary he was a bad person for abandoning the children)
she then made up apack of lies about how he beat her and threatened the kids and the SS beleived her so he hardly got to see the kids...

I vist his grave now and then......

by Guest Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:36 pm

Vile on either side Vic.

by Syl Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:42 pm

Lord Foul wrote:
Syl wrote:

Yes they do, they don't usually go as far as to kill them though to get revenge on an ex.

The thread is about abused women and the programme that documented 84 of them who were murdered by their partners in 2013.

That is not comparable with men who are murdered by their partners, it's a completely different issue.

yeah is suppose it is...most men who die in these situations do so by suicide, and its not recorded against the abuse or abuser...

I reported mine for assault ...and the cops laughed at me

a friend reported his for VIOLENT assault.....and the cops turned up at the house, and threatened HIM with arrest if he didnt leave the house

which was then used at the diviorce as justifying his ex getting the kids (since cleary he was a bad person for abandoning the children)
she then made up apack of lies about how he beat her and threatened the kids and the SS beleived her so he hardly got to see the kids...

I vist his grave now and then......

Some women are vile. I have been through personal experience with one who tried to use her child to get back at her ex (my OH) it's a long time go but had long reaching effects, so I do know that women can be hateful.

But the programme mentioned in the OP was about women who have been murdered by their partners or ex partners....and often the abuse men dish out is very different from the abuse women dish out... a completely .different subject worthy of a separate thread.

by Syl Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:46 pm

sassy wrote:Vile on either side Vic.

It truly is, it's not a.... who is the most vile, men who abuse or women who abuse competition.
The abuse is horrible no matter who is on the receiving end, it's just different.

by Victorismyhero Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:49 pm

why??? abuse is abuse

thats like saying and justifying the abuse of one nationality/belief becasue they are different Love you to death. 265384880

by Syl Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:52 pm

Lord Foul wrote:why??? abuse is abuse

thats like saying and justifying the abuse of one nationality/belief becasue they are different

Who is justifying the abuse of anyone? I said the exact opposite.

by Victorismyhero Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:53 pm

claiming there is a difference, is tantamount to dismissing it

oh it's vile...but thats different....

yeah yeah we know

when it comes to this men are "different"

but when it comes to wages, jobs, almost everything else

women are no different to men (they say)

by Syl Fri Dec 18, 2015 8:57 pm

Lord Foul wrote:claiming there is a difference, is tantamount to dismissing it

oh it's vile...but thats different....

yeah yeah we know

when it comes to this men are "different"

but when it comes to wages, jobs, almost everything else

women are no different to men (they say)

That's rubbish.
It is different because mindsets are different.

A lot of abuse is psychological for a start, men work in very different ways to women.
Men generally have the upper hand when it comes to physical abuse on account of their sheer strength in comparison.

Anyway...I have started a thread for you to vent your spleen in and leave this one to discuss the original topic.

by Victorismyhero Fri Dec 18, 2015 9:07 pm

Syl wrote:
Lord Foul wrote:claiming there is a difference, is tantamount to dismissing it

oh it's vile...but thats different....

yeah yeah we know

when it comes to this men are "different"

but when it comes to wages, jobs, almost everything else

women are no different to men (they say)

That's rubbish.
It is different because mindsets are different.

A lot of abuse is psychological for a start, men work in very different ways to women.
Men generally have the upper hand when it comes to physical abuse on account of their sheer strength in comparison.

so what are you saying?

its different because male abusers are violence prone brutes and thus evil
but female abusers are "just" bitches"

I mean , I cant blame you this is the message courts have been sending out for years

then we have

and of course we all know if a man kills his missus he's just a bastard that should do 50 life sentences and have his balls cut off

but if a woman kills a man ...well she's a naughty girl, but no doubt the twat deserved it

the societal bias aginst abused men

by Syl Fri Dec 18, 2015 9:13 pm

Lord Foul wrote:
Syl wrote:

That's rubbish.
It is different because mindsets are different.

A lot of abuse is psychological for a start, men work in very different ways to women.
Men generally have the upper hand when it comes to physical abuse on account of their sheer strength in comparison.

so what are you saying?

its different because male abusers are violence prone brutes and thus evil
but female abusers are "just" bitches"

I mean , I cant blame you this is the message courts have been sending out for years

then we have

and of course we all know if a man kills his missus he's just a bastard that should do 50 life sentences and have his balls cut off

but if a woman kills a man ...well she's a naughty girl, but no doubt the twat deserved it

the societal bias aginst abused men

No I'm saying no such thing.

You are making those stereotype comparisons between men and women who abuse not me.

by Major Sat Dec 19, 2015 10:06 am

This is dreadful and I condemn it, I detest cowardly men who bash females.

I cannot get it into my head why women do not walk the very first time they get physically violated.

I heard one woman 30 minutes ago on TV say she stayed "to try to help him".

She shoulda stabbed him in the eyes the first time.

Having said that, men being kicked out of work without a job, without prospects, without money, not being the breadwinner does not help their mindset.
I have seen men go down the nick, hit the bottle and depression through no work.
Some manage it and some do not.

Hitting females is totally taboo and our justice system must send a message that anyone convicted will regret it BIG TIME.

by Syl Sat Dec 19, 2015 4:52 pm

Stormee wrote:This is dreadful and I condemn it, I detest cowardly men who bash females.

I cannot get it into my head why women do not walk the very first time they get physically violated.

I heard one woman 30 minutes ago on TV say she stayed "to try to help him".

She shoulda stabbed him in the eyes the first time.

Having said that, men being kicked out of work without a job, without prospects, without money, not being the breadwinner does not help their mindset.
I have seen men go down the nick, hit the bottle and depression through no work.
Some manage it and some do not.

Hitting females is totally taboo and our justice system must send a message that anyone convicted will regret it BIG TIME.

Every case is different and women stay for a variety of reasons.
In the 84 cases of women who were murdered by their spouses, some of these were murdered because they were leaving.
One woman highlighted was stabbed multiple times by her partner, he sat with her for hours waiting for her to die. At one point she took a shuddering breath and he screamed at her "Just fucking die will you".
She lived for several days, in hospital they thought she may recover but her wounds were so bad they contemplated amputating both her arms....tragically she died with other complications.

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