THE CHRISTMAS GIFT THREAD

[eddie]

No debate to be had here, just Christmas wishes, pictures or messages you might want to send another poster, Christmas songs and lots of booze!

[eddie]

[Guest]

What a nice idea.

[Victorismyhero]

Bah! HUMBUG!

(got to keep in character)

[Guest]

[Guest]

[eddie]

Bah! HUMBUG!

(got to keep in character)

Shut it Scrooge!!!

Get the drinks in

[eddie]

I do love Christmas pudding. One of my favourite puddings, with loads of pouring cream. Oh dribble....

[Guest]

I hate christmas pudding, I don't like mince pies, all to sweet.  I'll have homemade rum, spice and raisin ice cream.

[Victorismyhero]

\ah yes, christmas, the season for sending , through gritted teeth, messages of merriment and cheer, to people whos eye you would sooner remove with a spoon.
the season for pretending to be civil to your ex.
the season to share with all the sentiment of peace and good will....even if they are asshats
the season once again to have to smile , however forced at the buch of snotty brats that you just KNOW keyed your car as they tunelessly warble some mangled version of what, once, might have been a christmas carol...and then instead of following your instinct to feed them to your pet vulture give them a mince pie (not poisoned)

oh the merriment of it all.......

[veya_victaous]

Bah! HUMBUG!

(got to keep in character)

But I think the real Reason is because Victor dressed up as Santa last year

[Guest]

That's the first time I've laughed today,

[Guest]

[Cass]

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bight copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper....packages...................string.......wait.....

Wrong thread. Pants. Ive asked for the DVD for Christmas. Sorry got overexcited.....again.....

The sing-a-long was playing in SF.....nobody wanted to go with me.....cowards .....hmph

[eddie]

So who's going to buy me a pressie??

I'm your favourite mod and have worked really hard, OK a bit hard, and I deserve a few presents....don't I?

Tight gits

[Victorismyhero]

awww poor Eddie...never mind...I'm going out shooting tomorrow...I'll sacrifice a pheasant for you

[eddie]

Oh you are mean. Get some Christmas spirit.

[Guest]

Well as Christmas is really about moving the birthday of Jesus to coincide with the birth of Mithra, so that the romans could be coached into being Chrstians.
i would say why not do something centred around what Jesus did.

Like give to the poor and not think of gifts for yourself.

[eddie]

Well as Christmas is really about moving the birthday of Jesus to coincide with the birth of Mithra, so that the romans could be coached into being Chrstians.
i would say why not do something centred around what Jesus did.

Like give to the poor and not think of gifts for yourself.

What do you like about Christmas didge?

[Guest]

The only thing nice is family at christmas and how people can put aside anything for one day to share the joy of others.

[eddie]

The only thing nice is family at christmas and how people can put aside anything for one day to share the joy of others.

That's my favourite part too, the dinner and atmosphere though I love watching my children opening presents best of all.

[Victorismyhero]

grand children...they are the best

you can give em back

[Guest]

I'm hinting about great-grandchildren lol

[Guest]

He is bragging and she has got him by the balls?

[eddie]

Shall we all decide what to get Victor as he's a grumpy sod. He needs a very fitting pressie.....

[Victorismyhero]

pfffft.

[Guest]

Shall we all decide what to get Victor as he's a grumpy sod. He needs a very fitting pressie.....

I like to think of Victor like my boss.

His secretary is so sweet, she is latvian, she calls him grumpy bear.
She says it in that Russian typical sexy accent too.
So we both agree he is a Panda bear on most days, but when I said when he is annoyed he is a grizzly bear, she always says,. no, just a grumpy bear and smiles.

She said only women are grizzly bears.
I asked why?
She said, have I ever had a period.

I walked away rolling up as i had no answer to that.

[Victorismyhero]

brilliant didge.....

I dont think even I would have had an answer to that.....

[Guest]

brilliant didge.....

I dont think even I would have had an answer to that.....

I know mate, she has a better sense of humour than most.
You will love this and i forgot to say.
And it has made me see that at least some police have a sense of humour.

My boss picked me up at West Malling (Kent) and when we got onto the M25, there was clearly something wrong with his Merc.
We were in the Middle lane and the car started to slow dramatically to about 30 mph. After about two miles and finally getting over to the slow lane, we had the dreaded blue lights. Stopped the car and the officer walked up.
He said, 'everything alright?'
My Boss 'Yeah we are just on are way to Camberley (Surrey) for a meeting' (we are about 70 miles away)
He said with a dead pan face said 'Meeting schedulled for tomorrow morning then?'

Took about two second to sink in and all of us were rolling up based on  the speed we were going at.
If only more coppers were like him and to be honest he was a great help and escourted us to the nearest service station.

[Victorismyhero]

I find motorway police often te best humoured and nicest of the lot ....

I was merrily wafting down the M6 with unbeknown to me my hazzard lights still going..

I had my shotgun in the locker of the vehicle

now when the cop check my numberplate he also is told I hold a licence...

so


cop pulls me over (becasue the ligts are flashing)

say now sir...have you got anything you want to tell me
thats the polite way they ask "have you got your gun with you"

so taking the hint I said yup...got me shotgun in the locker

OK says he...got your ticket ...yup says I ...its in the slip the shot gun is in

ok he says...can I see it

certainly I says

goes round the back...with him in tow
opens the boot and unlocks the locker

goes to lift the gun (in its slip) out .....FFS he yells puttitaway...you'll scare everyone to death with that ruddy thing


well says me...the licence pocket is on the OTHER SIDE of the slip...I have to lift it out to get at it


Oh bugger that he says ...I dont want a pile up just for the sake of being nosey...I'll take your word for it


now...about these hazard lights....I dont think a shot gun and a few shells constitutes a rolling hazzard ...do you???


ooops says I...


TURN EM OFF says he


have a nice day....



he;d have had a fit if he knew how many shells his "few" was describing


I was transporting 30,000 rounds to a clay shoot for the day....

not i hasten to add, for me alone ..this was to supply the whole shoot......

(i can lawfully hold as many shot shells as I want..there is no limit on them. Bulleted rounds are different...set limits on them)

[Guest]

That just cracked me.
The thing is I am picturing you with a anti tank rifle in your boot mate, by his reaction

Great story Victor

Thanks

[Guest]

[b]Santa Reunites Soldier Dad With Daughters:





Christmas came early for two little girls when Santa Claus surprised them with their dad, a soldier who's been deployed in Afghanistan for nine months. In a heartwarming video posted online by Clarksville.com on Wednesday, the youngsters visited the Governors Square Mall in Clarksville, Tennessee, and asked Kris Kringle for their father Trent Baskerville to come home. Santa told the girls to close their eyes, moved behind a stack of presents and granted their wish by bringing out their dad.


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/santa-reunites-soldier-daughters_566a7b82e4b009377b2491c0?utm_hp_ref=good-news


Seems the best place to put these lovely stories

[eddie]

Beautiful x

[eddie]

"A man walked in today holding something in his arms. 'I have a request,' he said, turning around this picture frame. He took a moment. 'My son passed away, last year.' He choked up and couldn't finish his sentence. The entire photo set was silent. I said, 'Absolutely.' Without anyone saying anything, he handed me the frame and I placed it on my knee. In the photo, I could see on the little boy's armband that his first name was Hayden. I didn't ask any questions, but I am guessing that this is his first photo with Santa. The camera snap was the only sound I could hear through the entire mall. Normally, I hear all kinds of music and sounds, but it was absolutely silent. After a handful of clicks, we walked over to the screen and he pointed, saying, 'That's the one.'

The girl working the computer printed him a full photo package and he pulled out his wallet, saying that this was going to be his gift to his wife. We gave him the printed package, telling him that it was a gift and that we would be praying for his family, this Christmas. He grabbed my hand and pulled me in and hugged me, then turned around and left. As he walked out, we all had tears in our eyes. I'm sharing this to remind us all that Christmastime is unbelievably hard for some families. Pray for the brokenhearted. Smile at people. Just be kind. Love one another."

Photo courtesy of Caleb Ryan Sigmon

[Victorismyhero]

.

[Victorismyhero]

"A man walked in today holding something in his arms. 'I have a request,' he said, turning around this picture frame. He took a moment. 'My son passed away, last year.' He choked up and couldn't finish his sentence. The entire photo set was silent. I said, 'Absolutely.' Without anyone saying anything, he handed me the frame and I placed it on my knee. In the photo, I could see on the little boy's armband that his first name was Hayden. I didn't ask any questions, but I am guessing that this is his first photo with Santa. The camera snap was the only sound I could hear through the entire mall. Normally, I hear all kinds of music and sounds, but it was absolutely silent. After a handful of clicks, we walked over to the screen and he pointed, saying, 'That's the one.'

The girl working the computer printed him a full photo package and he pulled out his wallet, saying that this was going to be his gift to his wife. We gave him the printed package, telling him that it was a gift and that we would be praying for his family, this Christmas. He grabbed my hand and pulled me in and hugged me, then turned around and left. As he walked out, we all had tears in our eyes. I'm sharing this to remind us all that Christmastime is unbelievably hard for some families. Pray for the brokenhearted. Smile at people. Just be kind. Love one another."

Photo courtesy of Caleb Ryan Sigmon

did you have to do that to me eddie

[eddie]

I know Vic. I blubber all the time these days. I'm such a softie X

[eddie]

This time next week.......


I'll be falling asleep in a haze of brandy and full of Christmas pudding.

[Victorismyhero]

hmpfffff



whatevers......................

[eddie]

Come on, let's sing along Vic me old mucker....
On the first day of Christmas my true gave to meeeeeeee.....

[Guest]

Nah - he'd shoot the partridge!

[eddie]

I will make him chuckle or sing or strip
It's his choice

[Victorismyhero]

Nah - he'd shoot the partridge!

cant shoot them doves....they are "protected"

and the french hens...~(twice...once cos they is food and second cos they is french)

and the 4 "calling birds"...that'll shut the noisy buggers up

sod the rings...probably stolen from hatton garden

deffo the six geese, they would look well in me freezer

uh oh queenie owns the swans...best leave them alone

the maids ar good working class stock so they are alright

dont mind dancing girls

te lords are for the chop

as are those pesky pipers and drummers

[Guest]

Leave the pipers, I'll take them home to give OH at touch of Scotland lol

[Syl]

Wishing you all everything you wish for yourselves...HAPPY CHRISTMAS.

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