Another joke

by stardesk Sat Apr 11, 2015 9:11 pm

An elderly man is out for a stroll through the park, when he comes across a girl, sitting on a bench, crying her eyes out. Being a kindlly old soul he sits down beside her and asks: 'What's the matter my dear, have you been attacked?'
'Oh no,' she sobs, 'I'm in the family way.'
'Is that all?' Says the old man. 'It's alright for you, I'm in every buggers way.'

by Ben Reilly Sun Apr 12, 2015 1:58 am

stardesk wrote:An elderly man is out for a stroll through the park, when he comes across a girl, sitting on a bench, crying her eyes out. Being a kindlly old soul he sits down beside her and asks: 'What's the matter my dear, have you been attacked?'
'Oh no,' she sobs, 'I'm in the family way.'
'Is that all?' Says the old man. 'It's alright for you, I'm in every buggers way.'

Like it! It reminds me of another one I heard a long time ago:

An elderly woman is watching TV when the news interrupts her show, reporting that a car driving the wrong way down the freeway is causing multiple accidents. Knowing that her husband is driving on that freeway, she calls his cell phone.

"Be careful, honey," she says. "I just heard there's a car going the wrong way on the freeway!"

The husband yells, "They're all going the wrong way!"

by stardesk Sun Apr 12, 2015 8:57 pm

Hi Ben. I love it, brilliant. We get the same loony drivers over here, driving the wrong way along a freeway, (motorway), the wrong way round a roundabout, and the wrong way up a one-way street.
They're not paying attention to what they're doing.

by Guest Sun Apr 12, 2015 9:06 pm

stardesk wrote:Hi Ben. I love it, brilliant. We get the same loony drivers over here, driving the wrong way along a freeway, (motorway), the wrong way round a roundabout, and the wrong way up a one-way street.
They're not paying attention to what they're doing.

Evening My Gorgeous East Anglian Buddy Another joke 1589716573

xxx

Hope all is well. We are going to have a heat wave, that HWB will be long gone Another joke Evil10

We used to have an American airbase near here and roundabouts always seemed to pose a challenge....I lost count of the number of cars taking them straight rather than as intended! Laughing

by stardesk Sun Apr 12, 2015 9:27 pm

Hey, hello my sweet, where have you been? I've missed you.
My pet hate is people who don't indicate, especially at roundabouts or junctions. You sit there waiting for them to come by, but then they turn off, not using their indicators, leaving you sitting there when you could have gone on.

by Guest Sun Apr 12, 2015 9:37 pm

stardesk wrote:Hey, hello my sweet, where have you been? I've missed you.
My pet hate is people who don't indicate, especially at roundabouts or junctions. You sit there waiting for them to come by, but then they turn off, not using their indicators, leaving you sitting there when you could have gone on.

Missed you too Another joke Hug_413

I've been away on my hols Another joke Sunbat12

xxx

My pet hate is people who don't thank you when you let them through, it's basic manners after all Another joke Grrr_210

by Ben Reilly Mon Apr 13, 2015 6:07 am

stardesk wrote:Hi Ben. I love it, brilliant. We get the same loony drivers over here, driving the wrong way along a freeway, (motorway), the wrong way round a roundabout, and the wrong way up a one-way street.
They're not paying attention to what they're doing.

Haha ... my city has a lot of one-way streets, particularly in the center, and I've done my share of frantic jumping, waving and trying to make the sign for "you're driving the wrong direction," which I think looks too much like my "look over there" Smile

We don't have a lot of roundabouts here, and every one I can think of is just one lane. Those big multilane ones look like they'd be tricky ...

by Original Quill Mon Apr 13, 2015 5:54 pm

Ben_Reilly wrote:
stardesk wrote:Hi Ben. I love it, brilliant. We get the same loony drivers over here, driving the wrong way along a freeway, (motorway), the wrong way round a roundabout, and the wrong way up a one-way street.
They're not paying attention to what they're doing.

Haha ... my city has a lot of one-way streets, particularly in the center, and I've done my share of frantic jumping, waving and trying to make the sign for "you're driving the wrong direction," which I think looks too much like my "look over there"

We don't have a lot of roundabouts here, and every one I can think of is just one lane. Those big multilane ones look like they'd be tricky ...

Yes, Londoners, and in Glasgow and Edinburgh. To make matters worse, ben, they all go the wrong way!!

by Guest Wed Apr 15, 2015 6:37 pm

Ben_Reilly wrote:
stardesk wrote:Hi Ben. I love it, brilliant. We get the same loony drivers over here, driving the wrong way along a freeway, (motorway), the wrong way round a roundabout, and the wrong way up a one-way street.
They're not paying attention to what they're doing.

Haha ... my city has a lot of one-way streets, particularly in the center, and I've done my share of frantic jumping, waving and trying to make the sign for "you're driving the wrong direction," which I think looks too much like my "look over there"

We don't have a lot of roundabouts here, and every one I can think of is just one lane. Those big multilane ones look like they'd be tricky ...

In my experience Ben the Americans just ignore them and drive straight over Another joke Wink11

x

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