The rudeness of others

I am constantly surprised by it.I can never get used to it.

How do other forum members deal with rude people?

Many different ways Fluffy - the good thing about the internet as opposed to rude people in person is it's easier to ignore them.

When people are rude to you in real life it's often the case that you know them - you need to remember that the people on here are strangers - what they say can't hurt you and you shouldn't let it get to you.

FluffyBunny wrote:I am constantly surprised by it.I can never get used to it.

How do other forum members deal with rude people?

I try to ignore them, for the most part. Sometimes I'll address it, but generally they're in that "mood" and will just start escalating their behavior, so the only thing I've found that works is to leave them alone and not give them the attention they're looking for.

BigAndy9 wrote:Many different ways Fluffy - the good thing about the internet as opposed to rude people in person is it's easier to ignore them.

When people are rude to you in real life it's often the case that you know them - you need to remember that the people on here are strangers - what they say can't hurt you and you shouldn't let it get to you.

I understand that but tbh I don't really encounter rudeness in RL,so I can only go by forum experience.
I just wish people could be a little kinder to each other,that's all.

It's very true what you say though,it is senseless to let online stuff get to you.  

FluffyBunny wrote:I am constantly surprised by it.I can never get used to it.

How do other forum members deal with rude people?

Didge has always been like that Fluffy & we've had to put up with him for a longtime.

Ben_Reilly wrote:

FluffyBunny wrote:I am constantly surprised by it.I can never get used to it.

How do other forum members deal with rude people?

I try to ignore them, for the most part. Sometimes I'll address it, but generally they're in that "mood" and will just start escalating their behavior, so the only thing I've found that works is to leave them alone and not give them the attention they're looking for.

Is that why you've reduced the number of your replies to Didge?

Ben_Reilly wrote:

FluffyBunny wrote:I am constantly surprised by it.I can never get used to it.

How do other forum members deal with rude people?

I try to ignore them, for the most part. Sometimes I'll address it, but generally they're in that "mood" and will just start escalating their behavior, so the only thing I've found that works is to leave them alone and not give them the attention they're looking for.

Good Advice Ben,and astute

  

Rude, mental, vile. So many to choose from on the net. You can either engage them or you can ignore their baiting.

If you feel the need to have some playtime, then by all means, give it back.

I've seen you give it back fluffybunny, well done  

harrymuffin wrote:Rude, mental, vile.  So many to choose from on the net.  You can either engage them or you can ignore their baiting.

If you feel the need to have some playtime,  then by all means,  give it back.

I've seen you give it back fluffybunny,  well done  

I certainly do and enjoy a good debate   

But oftentimes when I'm having a dig I'm just playing and I discover others are serious in their dislike

I try to be as rude as possible if the situation demands it   

FluffyBunny wrote:I am constantly surprised by it.I can never get used to it.

How do other forum members deal with rude people?

Try being less rude and judgemental yourself.

The Rudest Man In Britain explores the broadcasting legacy of Gilbert Harding.

Harding (1907-1960) was a famous radio personality who went on to achieve wider television exposure as a star of What's My Line?.

Clever, amusing and often outrageous, Harding was a familiar voice on the wireless who became a pioneer of popular television. But behind the public persona there was a troubled and conflicted character.

Presented by the writer and broadcaster Simon Fanshawe, The Rudest Man In Britain will draw on Stephen Wyatt’s play Dr Brighton And Mr Harding, in which Harding (Roger Allam) wrestles with his inner demons and fantasies, knowing that he is in increasingly poor health. Simon also samples excerpts from Round Britain Quiz, What’s My Line? and The Brains Trust, and there’s a complete edition of Twenty Questions which Harding chaired. In addition, the programme revisits Harding's infamous 1960 Face To Face interview with John Freeman during which the interviewee broke down on camera.

Simon Fanshawe explores the development of many now familiar radio and TV formats, while assembling a fascinating and rounded portrait of this tortured, but much-loved polymath.

Harding collapsed and died leaving London’s Broadcasting House in November 1960. Not long before, he had told John Freeman: "I'm afraid of dying. I should be very glad to be dead, but I don't look forward to the actual process..."

Made for BBC Radio 4 Extra by Pier Productions.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/proginfo/2014/02/the-rudest-man-in-britain.html

I admit to having a course streak, and I can be rude to posters, invaribly right or far right in the political persuasion, who tend to try to steamroller over debates and arguments with the attitude thst thry are rw , therefore they are right.
Folk will have notice I am noffensive to people who are ok to me.

Handy Andy wrote:I admit to having a course streak, and I can be rude to posters, invaribly right or far right in the political persuasion,  who tend to try to steamroller over debates and arguments with the attitude thst thry are rw , therefore they are right.
Folk will have notice I am noffensive to people who are ok to me.

I do believe the majority of folks have the same attitude of, if you're ok with me, I'm ok with you.

You do have those that will be bitches and bastards no matter what. It's the way they're wired.

Handy Andy wrote:I admit to having a course streak, and I can be rude to posters, invaribly right or far right in the political persuasion,  who tend to try to steamroller over debates and arguments with the attitude thst thry are rw , therefore they are right.
Folk will have notice I am noffensive to people who are ok to me.

You're attitude seems fair enough Andy - I find it hard to be rude to anybody no matter what.

Handy Andy wrote:I admit to having a course streak, and I can be rude to posters, invaribly right or far right in the political persuasion,  who tend to try to steamroller over debates and arguments with the attitude thst thry are rw , therefore they are right.
Folk will have notice I am noffensive to people who are ok to me.

I'm the same,I'm never rude to anyone for no reason
It wouldn't occur to me to do so but also life's too flipping short when you think about it.

Debate can get rather intense depending on the subject matter but I think when it descends into personal abuse that's the time to take a wee break and then return.

According to etiquette books of the past, it was pretty easy to be offensive. To show you were of good breeding, you had to adhere to strict parameters surrounding speech, behavior, dress, and eating. Some of those mores were so detailed and odd that they are absolutely foreign to us now. At any rate, by the standards of 100 years ago, you are an incredibly rude person.

1. AT THE TABLE

Today, most women at a baby shower will leave the last piece of scrumptious chocolate cream pie to wilt on the plate, instead of being the selfish soul to "take the last piece." (It has been my experience that neither men nor children suffer from this crippling politeness.) According to Dr. Jefferis, however, writer of 1904's Search Lights on Health, it is rude not to take the last piece. "Do not hesitate to take the last piece on the dish, simply because it is the last. To do so is to directly express the fear that you would exhaust the supply."

He provides further instruction on good table manners. For instance, should you find a worm or insect in your food, say nothing of it. In fact, no unpleasant talk at all. No matter what. "If an accident of any kind so ever should occur during dinner, the cause being who or what it may, you should not seem to note it… Should you be so unfortunate as to overturn or to break anything, you should make no apology. You might let your regret appear in your face, but it would not be proper to put it in words." The gravy boat is spilled. Anoint your head in ashes, gnash your teeth, and rend your clothing. Just be quiet about it or you'll make things awkward.

2. IN LANGUAGE

Mrs. Duffey, a 19th century expert on manners and feminist author of the 1877 The Ladies' and Gentlemen's Etiquette, warns her readers to be careful in conversation. Don't ask impertinent questions. Which could be any question, since you have no idea what will offend your companion. Better to avoid the problem altogether and never allow the lilt of a question mark to stain your speech. If you want to know how your friend's brother is, do not say, "How is your brother?" Say, "I hope your brother is well." Passive-aggressive nosiness is far more acceptable than brazen, well-intentioned curiosity.

Jefferis goes further, offering a list of language that is too ignorant to be used in polite company.

"Don't say feller, winder, to-morrer, for fellow, window, tomorrow." Here Jefferis clearly underestimates the charm of someone who talks like Granny Clampett.

And his crowning piece of grammatical advice, "Don't say I say, says I, but simply say I said." (Direct quote, hand to God.)

Some of his advice is still appropriate.

"Do not always commence a conversation by allusion to the weather." Or asking about the kids. (They're kids. They run around being useless, sticky, and just cute enough so that you'd feel bad if you didn't feed them.) Or asking about the other person's work, which you know you're not really interested in. Besides, you're not supposed to be asking questions anyway.

By process of elimination, the best way to initiate conversation would be by declaring something impersonal, interesting, and educated. Greet a new person, shake hands, and declare, "I am fond of potatoes, which the French call 'apples of the earth'." See where that takes you.

3. ON THE STREET

Men and women are expected to conduct themselves differently while walking down the street. Men are not to lurk in doorways.

"A gentleman will not stand on the street corners or in hotel doorways, or store windows and gaze impertinently at ladies as they pass by. This is the exclusive business of loafers," says Jefferis.

Whereas it is a man's job to make himself visible, a woman is asked to do the opposite. "Your conduct on the street should always be modest and dignified. Ladies should carefully avoid all loud and boisterous conversation or laughter, and all undue liveliness in public." To appear at all happy or talkative would draw the attention of those impertinent loafers. Also, be ever so careful how much ankle those creepers can get off you:

"In crossing the street a lady should gracefully raise her dress a little above her ankle with one hand. To raise the dress with both hands is vulgar, except in places where the mud is very deep."

As for offering to carry a lady's packages, according to Emily Post, writing in the 1922 print of Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at Home, a real lady wouldn't be carrying "bundles" in the first place. Asking a man to do so is to emasculate him in front of the entire town. An exception is allowed for small, tidy square packages or anything that is obviously nice, like flowers or fruit. Otherwise, should the woman ask for help, "[She should not] wonder why her admirer never comes to see her anymore!" It's an indisputable scientific fact that asking a man to carry shopping left more women alone to die old maids than did the casualties of the First and Second World Wars combined.

4. SPECIFICALLY FOR LADIES

There are two things a lady needs to know to survive in polite company. How to sit, and how to please men. I know, that sounds medieval and ridiculous, but if a lady doesn't sit properly how will you know she's a lady?

How to sit
Emily Post reminded women how their mothers were not allowed to cross their knees, put hands on their hips, twist in a chair, or lean back. But by the '20s, these things were allowed, within reason.

No lady should cross her knees so that her skirts go up to or above them; neither should her foot be thrust out so that her toes are at knee level. An arm a-kimbo is not a graceful attitude, nor is a twisted spine! Everyone, of course, leans against a chair back… but a lady should never throw herself almost at full length in a reclining chair or on a wide sofa when she is out in public.

The proper way for a lady to sit is in the center of her chair, or slightly sideways in the corner of a sofa. She may lean back, her hands relaxed in her lap, her knees together, or if crossed, her foot must not be thrust forward so as to leave a space between the heel and her other ankle. On informal occasions she can lean back in an easy chair with her hands on the arms.

To clarify, you may use the chair's armrests. On informal occasions only. Preferably in a locked room, alone.

How to please a man
One can always trust Dr. Jefferis to be plainspoken in even the most ticklish of subjects.

No woman can afford to treat men rudely. She must remember that the art of pleasing and entertaining gentlemen is infinitely more ornamental than laces, ribbons, or diamonds…. and as women are more or less dependent upon man's good-will, either for gain or pleasure, it surely stands to their interest to be reasonably pleasant and courteous in his presence or society.

This sentiment, that women are dependent on man's good nature like a dog upon its master's, may sting and enrage. But considering the time it was written, what is even more stinging is the possible truth of it.

So you need to be careful exactly how you set about pleasing your man. For women are like books. No, wait. They're like seed corn. No! Better! Ornamental furniture!

For women are like books — too much gilding makes men suspicious, that the binding is the most important part. The body is the shell of the soul, and the dress is the husk of the body; but the husk generally tells what the kernel is. As a fashionably dressed young lady passed some gentlemen, one of them raised his hat, whereupon another, struck by the fine appearance of the lady, made some inquiries concerning her, and was answered thus: "She makes a pretty ornament in her father's house, but otherwise is of no use."

5. GALLANTRY FOR GENTLEMEN

As is often the case in old advice manuals, instruction for men on how to better themselves is scant. The little bit that Jefferis offers is especially charming for how applicable it still is today.

Propriety is outraged when a man of sixty dresses like youth of sixteen. It is bad manners for a gentleman to use perfumes to a noticeable extent. Avoid affecting singularity in dress. Expensive clothes are no sign of a gentleman.

Friend, you're 46. Put away the board shorts. Take off the baseball cap or at least put it on straight. Leave off the Axe body spray. And if you paid $200 for a pair of jeans that already have strategic holes ripped into them, well, there is nothing any advice book can do for you.

One of the only other tricky elements a man must navigate is when it is appropriate to give a lady his arm. It is a sexually potent act that leads many a fine girl to ruin. Arm-offering is how our streets came to echo with the plaintive cries of unwed mothers and their starving ill-gotten young.

Now, a gentleman may offer his arm to an old lady at any time. To a young woman who is not his wife, there are very specific rules. It must be dark and treacherous to warrant touching, say crossing a busy, icy road at night. He may offer his arm if he is the usher at a wedding, but not if he is escorting a woman at a ball, as that is no longer the fashion. A gentleman never takes a lady's arm, as that would make him a sissy boy.

It was refreshing to encounter one last piece of advice from Mrs. Duffey, who politely shows her feminist colors regarding how a gentleman should treat a lady.

If you are a gentleman, never lower the intellectual standard of your conversation in addressing ladies. Pay them the compliment of seeming to consider them capable of an equal understanding with gentlemen. You will, no doubt, be somewhat surprised to find in how many cases the supposition will be grounded on fact, and in the few instances where it is not. When you "come down' to commonplace or small talk with an intelligent lady, one of two things is the consequence: She either recognizes the condescension and despises you, or else she accepts it as the highest intellectual effort of which you are capable, and rates you accordingly.

http://mentalfloss.com/article/52416/5-ways-avoid-being-rude-according-100-year-old-etiquette-rules

I like a bit of rudeness.
Especially if it involves handcuffs and clothes pegs.

FluffyBunny wrote:

Handy Andy wrote:I admit to having a course streak, and I can be rude to posters, invaribly right or far right in the political persuasion,  who tend to try to steamroller over debates and arguments with the attitude thst thry are rw , therefore they are right.
Folk will have notice I am noffensive to people who are ok to me.

I'm the same,I'm never rude to anyone for no reason
It wouldn't occur to me to do so but also life's too flipping short when you think about it.

Debate can get rather intense depending on the subject matter but I think when it descends into personal abuse that's the time to take a wee break and then return.

You're very rude actually, and very judgemental.

BigAndy9 wrote:

Handy Andy wrote:I admit to having a course streak, and I can be rude to posters, invaribly right or far right in the political persuasion,  who tend to try to steamroller over debates and arguments with the attitude thst thry are rw , therefore they are right.
Folk will have notice I am noffensive to people who are ok to me.

You're attitude seems fair enough Andy - I find it hard to be rude to anybody no matter what.

We are politically very opposite, BA, but that hasn't stopped us enjoying often heated but decent debate. You have always been reasonable to me , even though you disagree with much of what I say, but I certainly cannot recall us ever falling out, swearing or abusing each other.
If we were in a bar and chatting, we would probably be buying each other a beer or 3.

Handy Andy wrote:

BigAndy9 wrote:

You're attitude seems fair enough Andy - I find it hard to be rude to anybody no matter what.

We are politically very opposite,  BA, but that hasn't stopped us enjoying often heated but decent debate. You have always been reasonable to me , even though you disagree with much of what I say, but I certainly cannot recall us ever falling out, swearing or abusing each other.
If we were in a bar and chatting, we would probably be buying each other a beer or 3.

 Feelthelove x

 ::ftlcheer:: ::ftlcheer:: ::ftlcheer:: ::ftlcheer:: ::ftlcheer:: ::ftlcheer:: ::ftlcheer:: ::ftlcheer:: ::ftlcheer:: ::ftlcheer:: ::ftlcheer:: ::ftlcheer:: ::ftlcheer:: ::ftlcheer:: ::ftlcheer:: ::ftlcheer:: ::ftlcheer:: ::ftlcheer:: ::ftlcheer:: ::ftlcheer:: ::ftlcheer::

Handy Andy wrote:

BigAndy9 wrote:

You're attitude seems fair enough Andy - I find it hard to be rude to anybody no matter what.

We are politically very opposite,  BA, but that hasn't stopped us enjoying often heated but decent debate. You have always been reasonable to me , even though you disagree with much of what I say, but I certainly cannot recall us ever falling out, swearing or abusing each other.
If we were in a bar and chatting, we would probably be buying each other a beer or 3.

Your grammar must be better that mine Andy, the man's a torment.    ::smthg::

I just want to say you're all a breath of fresh air even Shady   

Stephenmarra wrote:

Handy Andy wrote:
We are politically very opposite,  BA, but that hasn't stopped us enjoying often heated but decent debate. You have always been reasonable to me , even though you disagree with much of what I say, but I certainly cannot recall us ever falling out, swearing or abusing each other.
If we were in a bar and chatting, we would probably be buying each other a beer or 3.

Your grammar must be better that mine Andy, the man's a torment.    ::smthg::

   

FluffyBunny wrote:I am constantly surprised by it.I can never get used to it.

How do other forum members deal with rude people?

Just ignore it as much as possible, they are just faceless imbeciles on a forum after all.

If your in the mood, and need to let off a bit of steam, they make the perfect punchbags!

  

Catman wrote:

FluffyBunny wrote:I am constantly surprised by it.I can never get used to it.

How do other forum members deal with rude people?

Just ignore it as much as possible, they are just faceless imbeciles on a forum after all.

If your in the mood, and need to let off a bit of steam, they make the perfect punchbags!

  

Which faceless imbecile   said that????  :asbluras: 

BigAndy9 wrote:
The Rudest Man In Britain explores the broadcasting legacy of Gilbert Harding.

Harding (1907-1960) was a famous radio personality who went on to achieve wider television exposure as a star of What's My Line?.

Clever, amusing and often outrageous, Harding was a familiar voice on the wireless who became a pioneer of popular television. But behind the public persona there was a troubled and conflicted character.

Presented by the writer and broadcaster Simon Fanshawe, The Rudest Man In Britain will draw on Stephen Wyatt’s play Dr Brighton And Mr Harding, in which Harding (Roger Allam) wrestles with his inner demons and fantasies, knowing that he is in increasingly poor health. Simon also samples excerpts from Round Britain Quiz, What’s My Line? and The Brains Trust, and there’s a complete edition of Twenty Questions which Harding chaired. In addition, the programme revisits Harding's infamous 1960 Face To Face interview with John Freeman during which the interviewee broke down on camera.

Simon Fanshawe explores the development of many now familiar radio and TV formats, while assembling a fascinating and rounded portrait of this tortured, but much-loved polymath.

Harding collapsed and died leaving London’s Broadcasting House in November 1960. Not long before, he had told John Freeman: "I'm afraid of dying. I should be very glad to be dead, but I don't look forward to the actual process..."

Made for BBC Radio 4 Extra by Pier Productions.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/proginfo/2014/02/the-rudest-man-in-britain.html

Aussies Rudest Entertainer

Judith gives him a run for his money

Handy Andy wrote:I admit to having a course streak, and I can be rude to posters, invaribly right or far right in the political persuasion,  who tend to try to steamroller over debates and arguments with the attitude thst thry are rw , therefore they are right.
Folk will have notice I am noffensive to people who are ok to me.

We are mostly right all the time

FluffyBunny wrote:

Handy Andy wrote:I admit to having a course streak, and I can be rude to posters, invaribly right or far right in the political persuasion,  who tend to try to steamroller over debates and arguments with the attitude thst thry are rw , therefore they are right.
Folk will have notice I am noffensive to people who are ok to me.

I'm the same,I'm never rude to anyone for no reason
It wouldn't occur to me to do so but also life's too flipping short when you think about it.

Debate can get rather intense depending on the subject matter but I think when it descends into personal abuse that's the time to take a wee break and then return.

That is of course patently untrue

Your first words to me came in the form of accusations of homophobia

Fluffy..smelly is a buggar who is lets say none too fond of Muslins and immigrants...
And has delusions that some of us somehow worship Muslims  ::dunno:: 

But apart from that the guy is ok!!

(Honest) ::D:: 

He also accused me of being racist,he found out i wasn't .still waiting for apology, HOW ABOUT IT HANDY or are you busy playing with your "big cock"

smelly_bandit wrote:

FluffyBunny wrote:

I'm the same,I'm never rude to anyone for no reason
It wouldn't occur to me to do so but also life's too flipping short when you think about it.

Debate can get rather intense depending on the subject matter but I think when it descends into personal abuse that's the time to take a wee break and then return.

That is of course patently untrue

Your first words to me came in the form of accusations of homophobia

That's because I thought you were making homophobic comments.

FluffyBunny wrote:

smelly_bandit wrote:

That is of course patently untrue

Your first words to me came in the form of accusations of homophobia

That's because I thought you were making homophobic comments.

So do you.

Raggamuffin wrote:

FluffyBunny wrote:



That's because I thought you were making homophobic comments.

So do you.

The last thing I am is homophobic.

Grow up Ragga.  

Joy Division wrote:Fluffy..smelly is a buggar who is lets say none too fond of Muslins and immigrants...
And has delusions that some of us somehow worship Muslims  ::dunno:: 

But apart from that the guy is ok!!

(Honest) ::D:: 

Diversity is what makes the world go round

I may not agree with what Smelly says very often ( or ever  ) but would be a very dreary world if we were all the same.