Are you a good friend to have?

If you are...why?
If you are not...why not?

I will take some people's secrets to my grave, if I am told something in confidence I will never divulge it.
I am kind and generous....great sense of humour, and am very open and honest.

But......

I may give advice when it isn't even asked for, I am lazy....I much prefer you to come over here than me to go over to yours, I forget to phone (though I do always return a phone call...eventually) I can be a bit impatient, and if you deliberately hurt me or mine I can wipe you out of my life as if you never existed.

To sum up, I would like a friend like me, at least you know where you stand.

I'll bail you out of jail at 3 am if you call...

Sorry to steal your words but what you have said I think sums me up very well, I am also a great listener, which I'm sure you are as well.

Maddog wrote:I'll bail you out of jail at 3 am if you call...

If I ever need that service I will let you know.

Vintage wrote:Sorry to steal your words but what you have said I think sums me up very well, I am also a great listener, which I'm sure you are as well.

Yes I can imagine you to be like that Vintage...and I also imagine you to be a better listener than the one holding court in the corner.

Actually, a good friend will bail you out of jail. A great friend is in the back of the police car with you telling you how much fun they had.

Maddog wrote:Actually, a good friend will bail you out of jail. A great friend is in the back of the police car with you telling you how much fun they had.  

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I think you are confusing a great friend with a partner in crime.
But a good friend doesn't judge, so I wont.

Syl wrote:

Maddog wrote:Actually, a good friend will bail you out of jail. A great friend is in the back of the police car with you telling you how much fun they had.  

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I think you are confusing a great  friend with a partner in crime.
But a good friend doesn't judge, so I wont.

Here in the US we have the acronym PIC which is partner in crime. It means bestie or best friend.

See also "ride or die" which refers to basically the same thing but is usually in reference to a woman...

Maddog wrote:

Syl wrote:

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I think you are confusing a great  friend with a partner in crime.
But a good friend doesn't judge, so I wont.

Here in the US we have the acronym PIC which is partner in crime. It means bestie or best friend.  

See also "ride or die" which refers to basically the same thing but is usually in reference to a woman...

I like the 'ride or die' comparison....especially when referring to life partners, that's how it should be.


"Ride or Die was originally a biker term meaning in the event that you could not ride you'd rather die. It's today altered to indicate any person (spouse, boyfriend, best friend), that you will "ride" ANY problems out with them or "die" attempting."

Syl wrote:

Maddog wrote:

Here in the US we have the acronym PIC which is partner in crime. It means bestie or best friend.  

See also "ride or die" which refers to basically the same thing but is usually in reference to a woman...

I like the 'ride or die' comparison....especially when referring to life partners, that's how it should be.


"Ride or Die was originally a biker term meaning in the event that you could not ride you'd rather die. It's today altered to indicate any person (spouse, boyfriend, best friend), that you will "ride" ANY problems out with them or "die" attempting."

Ride or die also can refer to a partner that's sort of an enabler or someone who goes along with someone else's bad behavior out of loyalty.

Like Bonnie Parker to Clyde Barrow.

Hmmm, they were literally partners in crime.

In reality, a good friend would try to talk someone out of commiting crimes rather than enabling them.

Which opens up another question, how far would you cover up, or keep quiet, if you knew your best friend had commited a really bad crime?

Syl wrote:Which opens up another question, how far would you cover up, or keep quiet, if you knew your best friend had commited a really bad crime?

Meh, I'm not a snitch, but also a poor liar. I tell folks not to tell me about things you don't want known, because if asked, I probably won't lie for you. I don't want to be involved in that nonsense.

My typical response is to just distance my self from folks like that to eliminate the need.

Maddog wrote:

Syl wrote:Which opens up another question, how far would you cover up, or keep quiet, if you knew your best friend had commited a really bad crime?

Meh, I'm not a snitch, but also a poor liar. I tell folks not to tell me about things you don't want known, because if asked, I probably won't lie for you. I don't want to be involved in that nonsense.

My typical response is to just distance my self from folks like that to eliminate the need.

I get that.....best not to get involved.
But what about if you did know?
Would you ever 'snitch' on a friend....or even a family member?

Syl wrote:

Maddog wrote:

Meh, I'm not a snitch, but also a poor liar. I tell folks not to tell me about things you don't want known, because if asked, I probably won't lie for you. I don't want to be involved in that nonsense.

My typical response is to just distance my self from folks like that to eliminate the need.

I get that.....best not to get involved.
But what about if you did know?
Would you ever 'snitch' on a friend....or even a family member?

Probably have to be something like hurting kids.

Or to save someone's life.

I can never understand people who cover for others when crimes against kids have been commtited.

If a life could be saved I would definately speak out...if the crime had already been commited, that's a different matter...and not so easy.

Am I a good friend to have? No, I’m not...I’m a grumpy old git. Now bugger off.........

Fred Moletrousers wrote:Am I a good friend to have? No, I’m not...I’m a grumpy old git. Now bugger off.........

It does seem true that men generally do get grumpy with age.
We women have a lot to put up with.

I’m extremely patient and forgiving, almost to a fault. Does that make me a good friend or a sucker? I don’t know.

I don’t suffer fools and rarely shut my mouth if someone is talking bullshit or trying to fool themselves right in front of me. I won’t say I like your dress if I don’t, I’d probably tell you.
I’m a good listener and can give impartial advice if needed but I won’t blow smoke up your arse. People seem to confide in me, I rarely confide in others though. I care about people a lot but I don’t like to be smothered either - I do like my space and I respect others’ need for space totally.

Am I a good friend? No idea to be honest.

I normally say what I mean and it often makes people laugh, even though I'm not trying to. Like, a guy I was working with recently told me that he doesn't like the band Maniacs, but he understands that a lot of people really like them.

I just said, yeah, but are those people the same people who like shit food, read shit books, wear shit clothing -- are there people out there who simply like shitty things?

He really laughed at that, but I simply meant that some people seem to have relentlessly bad taste across the board.

I don't know what I'm doing right or what I'm doing wrong much of the time, but people seem to like me more often than not. I've been told I take an interest in people's lives, but that's just how I am, so I don't really feel like I should take credit for that. I wouldn't be proud of being tall or having brown hair, after all.

I guess I can say with some certainty that I have always wanted good friends so I try to be the kind of friend I would want -- someone who you trust enough that you feel you can tell them anything, with complete honesty -- and someone who understands how people really are and isn't fazed when someone's a bit angry or depressed or simply "off."

I suppose if you can look at yourself without rose coloured specs, considering your good and bad traits, and still decide you wouldn't mind a friend like yourself....odds are, you are a good friend to have.

Syl wrote:I suppose if you can look at yourself without rose coloured specs, considering your good and bad traits, and still decide you wouldn't mind a friend like yourself....odds are, you are a good friend to have.

Well, it’s like I teach my kids, friends argue, they can’t always agree, don’t get upset just stay true to yourself and if they’re still there, by your side years later, you have a true friendship.
My truest relationships have sometimes been fraught with a heated debate, discussion, harsh exchange...but they make us love each other all the more.
I only surround myself with ridiculously honest people who appreciate that sometimes, disagreements occur, but that’s all they are...disagreements.

eddie wrote:

Syl wrote:I suppose if you can look at yourself without rose coloured specs, considering your good and bad traits, and still decide you wouldn't mind a friend like yourself....odds are, you are a good friend to have.

Well, it’s like I teach my kids, friends argue, they can’t always agree, don’t get upset just stay true to yourself and if they’re still there, by your side years later, you have a true friendship.
My truest relationships have sometimes been fraught with a heated debate, discussion, harsh exchange...but they make us love each other all the more.
I only surround myself with ridiculously honest people who appreciate that sometimes, disagreements occur, but that’s all they are...disagreements.

Yep, I agree.
I dont have lot's of friends, I am too lazy to cultivate new friends, especially since I now dont work and OH retired. Two good friends I have known for decades....and one of them I dont see much, but when we do, it's like we saw each other yesterday.
Like you I expect honesty.....my biggest turn off is when someone is two faced, if a person has to talk behind your back they are not a friend.

By the same token, I don’t trust someone who talks about other people all the time behind their backs. I always think, if you’re talking about them, to me, you’re talking about me, to them.

Most people dont mind a bit of gossip now and again.
But if anyone gossips about a friend....that's two faced.
Being nice to someones face then listening to, or worse, joining in talking about them, is imo one surefire way to end a friendship.

I also find it hard being friends with someone who is tight, being mean with money is usually a sign that a person is also mean spirited.

Syl wrote:Most people dont mind a bit of gossip now and again.
But if anyone gossips about a friend....that's two faced.
Being nice to someones face then listening to, or worse, joining in talking about them, is imo one surefire way to end a friendship.

I also find it hard being friends with someone who is tight, being mean with money is usually a sign that a person is also mean spirited.

Yes! The money thing! My friends and I often treat each other to little gifts. One of my close friends always buys me little luxury food items like olive crackers, red wine etc. She also buys me beautiful face creams.
In return, she steals a lot of my clothes.

What’s your avatar pic? I like it.

My favourite view is looking out to sea and seeing a white sailboat drifting by....I like to take pics.

Syl wrote:
My favourite view is looking out to sea and seeing a white sailboat drifting by....I like to take pics.

I love the sea too. It’s a nice photo Syl.

Thanks Eddie...