My England Diary or, a Texan in Old Blighty! PART TWO!!!!

by Ben Reilly Sat Apr 06, 2019 7:40 pm

First topic message reminder :

So surprise! After just two weeks in Texas, I'm back in an undisclosed location in the shire of Essex for a period of time that will be several months but which I'm not saying here because of what I'm fixin' to say now:

I got into a certain airport on a certain day that is near in time to today, and immigration grilled me like the proverbial cheese sandwich. Apparently they're a bit suspicious that I have no job and that I've been spending so much time here lately.

And as I said to my cab driver on the way home, I can't say that I blame them, but it's still rough to go through. I had my passport inspected, I had to call edds and ask her to send a photo of our marriage certificate, and I started to feel like I was doing something wrong!

Just to put that in perspective, I'm not taking benefits, not gonna use the NHS, not gonna take anybody's job since it's illegal for me to work here, and I'm just going to occupy about 5-11 and 14 stone worth of space, and spend money coming out of my own savings and some help from my Texas family, and I can't shake the feeling that the government now thinks I'm here for some nefarious purpose.

At one point, I was really scared they were going to turn me away, and I was going to have to figure out how to break that news to edds and then get back to Texas.

Anyway, I have to take a little comfort in the fact that they did eventually allow me through, so I suppose they do have a certain amount of discretion they can exercise.

Really glad to be back. Two weeks (give or take) away felt like far too long. And I've only committed one felony since arriving so those motherfuckers can lay off me! Laughing

by gelico Tue Oct 08, 2019 11:38 pm

Ben Reilly wrote:Wow, so ... day 3 back in Texas, and it's really weird. And it feels like I've been away for weeks already.

I wake up in the middle of the night feeling around in the bed for edds, only to have reality crash around my ears and make me want to throw up, or cry, or both.

I wake up at about 2 a.m. here, 8 a.m. England time, thinking I need to jump up and help get our little girl ready and off to school, and help get eddie off to work, and then I realize I have nothing to do and no way to help anybody. And that feels pretty helpless.

It's weird to essentially be back in my old life after living the life I want for six months. I sleepwalked through Saturday, the day I traveled back, occasionally having panicky feelings that I was doing something terrible to the people I love most, and myself.

Getting the chance to talk with my mother and siblings, and to pet the dog I left with them, is nice, of course -- but then comes a guilty feeling, a bit like the first time you laugh after a loved one dies. Like you have no right to feel good.

I constantly worry about eddie trying to do everything on her own. At the same time, I have to try to pull myself out of this funk and get my ass into a job again, after not having worked since late last year, so that I can at least help out my family in England and in Texas with some money.

When I first saw eddie's face on my computer screen after being able to see her in person for nearly 9 months of this year, I wanted to cry -- it felt like going back to the days of two-week visits with months apart in between. Because it sort of is.

December feels like it will never get here, the way these past few days have dragged by. And there's not a damn thing to do about it.

Sorry for the depressing update ... I guess that's all I have to say.

ben, you're so sweet, and very sad right now. i shall do my best to cheer

first of all, enjoy the time with your family and siblings and your dog. look upon it like you're lucky to have two such amazing worlds to live in, and stop feeling guilty for enjoying spending time with them. it's not like you're off to prison after all. they are also people who you love in life so just make the most of it.

second, no offence meant but eddie managed to cope before with two kids at school and a sick hubby. she's a strong girl and you've also mentioned close friends so i'm sure she'll get all the back up she needs

find a job and work your ass off, do as much overtime as you can plus spend time with your old crew and you'll be surprised at just how quickly it will go for you

finally in this age of technology with whatsapp, FB, face calls etc, you may find that you actually speak more apart than you do together

lol!

love you, ben

x

My England Diary or, a Texan in Old Blighty! PART TWO!!!!

My England Diary or, a Texan in Old Blighty! PART TWO!!!!

Re: My England Diary or, a Texan in Old Blighty! PART TWO!!!!