Ilhan Omar Withdraws Support From Bill To Save The Earth After Learning That’s Where Israel Is (satire)

by Guest Sat Mar 09, 2019 3:13 am

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s Green New Deal hit a snag when it lost the support of another freshman representative, Ilhan Omar. Omar had been an enthusiastic supporter of the Green New Deal and wanted to save the earth, but then she noticed something very disturbing when looking at a map of the earth: Earth is the planet on which Israel resides.

“You’ve been hypnotized by the Jews!” Omar accused a surprised Ocasio-Cortez. Omar then ripped up a copy of the Green New Deal. “This is just a plot to help Israel keep existing! Did AIPAC pay you off?”

Ocasio-Cortez was very apologetic, saying she hadn’t considered how her plan would affect Israel. She then vowed to change her plan so it might save the whole planet except where Israel resides.

“This is, like, a learning process,” Ocasio-Cortez later told reporters. “When I made the Green New Deal, I thought weather like storms and earthquakes were all caused by climate change, but now I’ve learned from Representative Omar that lots of that is actually from Jewish-controlled weather machines. So for the next version of the Green New Deal we will have to keep that in mind.”

https://babylonbee.com/news/ilhan-omar-withdraws-support-from-bill-to-save-the-earth-after-learning-thats-where-israel-is

by Maddog Sat Mar 09, 2019 6:30 am

That's actually one of my favorite sites. Usually Christian type sites suck at satire. Not them.

by Guest Sat Mar 09, 2019 7:09 am

Maddog wrote:That's actually one of my favorite sites. Usually Christian type sites suck at satire. Not them.

+1

I am sure you will appreciate this one then.... Laughing

babylonbee wrote:
BATON ROUGE, LA—Warning that the latest gun laws proposed by the Democrat-controlled House of Representatives constitute a grave attack on his civil liberties, local libertarian man Samuel K. Davies conveyed his fear that the new rules would infringe upon his constitutional right to fly around in an A-10 Warthog.

"First they came for our nukes, then they came for our tanks, and now they're coming for our close air support combat aircraft," he said in a video message to his 31 YouTube subscribers. "The founding fathers never envisioned we'd live in a country where our right to mind our own business as we fly into work or to the grocery store in a sensible fully armed combat plane would be trampled upon so carelessly."

"You know who else banned civilians from owning military aircraft? That's right: Hitler," he added. "Checkmate, statist bootlickers!"

The staunch believer in liberty also pointed out that if his right to fly the combat jet around town is revoked, there will be no one around to defend the innocent in the event of a "bad guy with a gun."

"Do you know what the best way to stop a psychopath is? I'll give you a hint: it's not stricter gun laws. No, my friends, it's ensuring there's a good guy with a Warthog, a 30x173mm Avenger autocannon, and an itchy trigger finger nearby."

At publishing time, Davies had to cut his live broadcast short as his mom had called him upstairs for dinner.

https://babylonbee.com/news/libertarian-worried-that-newly-proposed-gun-laws-would-infringe-upon-his-constitutional-right-to-fly-around-in-an-a-10-warthog

Think I will post more of these satire stories, as they are hilarious

by Sponsored content

Ilhan Omar Withdraws Support From Bill To Save The Earth After Learning That’s Where Israel Is (satire)

Ilhan Omar Withdraws Support From Bill To Save The Earth After Learning That’s Where Israel Is (satire)

Re: Ilhan Omar Withdraws Support From Bill To Save The Earth After Learning That’s Where Israel Is (satire)

Re: Ilhan Omar Withdraws Support From Bill To Save The Earth After Learning That’s Where Israel Is (satire)

Re: Ilhan Omar Withdraws Support From Bill To Save The Earth After Learning That’s Where Israel Is (satire)