Matthew McConaughey - This Is Why You're Not Happy

This is an incredibly powerful speech from Matthew McConaughey.

"If happiness is what you're after, then you are going to be let down frequently and be unhappy much of your time. Joy though, Joy's a different thing, it's something else."



https://www.sunnyskyz.com/happy-videos/8012/Matthew-McConaughey-This-Is-Why-You-039-re-Not-Happy

I don't agree with the first part, happiness is a state of mind.
some people find happiness in setting goals and achieving them and I agree that if that is all you got then your happiness will be fleeting.

I'm not sure I agree with most of it, I think just 'decide' to be happy. it's all about outlook (in my opinion)
when faced with a situation you can see struggle or an opportunity.
You can look at the rich kid and be jealous of the money you don't have or you can look at the homeless dude and give him a few coins and be thankful that you have enough money to do so.
You can dwell on the fact you're not perfect and your life is not perfect, Or appreciate all the things that you do have.
Be happy with generally moving in the right direction.
Fuck Being Perfect.

I think of joy more like grief, it is an 'inflicted emotion' you don't get a choice you just experience the circumstance (like deaths, births, marriages and divorces etc.)

To he honest I have been happier and more successful....
(so to use my circumstance is 'loaded dice' since things have worked out in my favor, which is also the problem with Matt's advice, it's like following advice from a lotto winner to invest everything in lotto tickets... it's fine for them because they won, they might not have the same opinion if they lost)
.....since trying to stop thinking of myself as the 'protagonist'

it is something we all tend to do since we live our lives story, but if you stop thinking of yourself as the 'protagonist' is some great story it is quite liberating, you see the world differently you can see other peoples drivers and circumstances from their 'stories' perspective.

I found it 'enjoyable' to try and be someone else's 'NPC' and advance their story, I'm legitimately an expert in the technologies I work with so have a lot I can teach younger techs and there have been a few I have taken a shine to and mentored them to promotions, I am also 'popular' enough with management to have my 'recommendations' listened to, which helps  (I've had people thank me for taking them under my wing professionally, when I didn't realize I had, because it's not like I tried to get them promoted....I just taught them a lot but I'm that willing to teach anyone that wants to learn and isn't a complete arsehole.)

The other thing is being happy to be someone else's Antagonist ... everyone's story needs one. it's ok if not everyone loves you   ( I do post to Didge and nicko with this in mind often  )

veya_victaous wrote:I don't agree with the first part, happiness is a state of mind.
some people find happiness in setting goals and achieving them and I agree that if that is all you got then your happiness will be fleeting.

I'm not sure I agree with most of it, I think just 'decide' to be happy. it's all about outlook (in my opinion)
when faced with a situation you can see struggle or an opportunity.
You can look at the rich kid and be jealous of the money you don't have or you can look at the homeless dude and give him a few coins and be thankful that you have enough money to do so.
You can dwell on the fact you're not perfect and your life is not perfect, Or appreciate all the things that you do have.
Be happy with generally moving in the right direction.
Fuck Being Perfect.

I think of joy more like grief, it is an 'inflicted emotion' you don't get a choice you just experience the circumstance (like deaths, births, marriages and divorces etc.)

1) You just did agree with the first part, that happiness is a state of mind Veya. With your state of mind for happiness, is based around setting goals and achieving them

2) The point is people strive to find happiness often in the wrong places, as they have a need for this and fail to see happiness comes from within ourselves. If we look for others to make us happy, then we can never be truely happy within ourselves. Then the happiness you end up sharing with someones comes freely and is not yearned for

3) I dont think the emphasis of the video is about being perfect, but accepting who we are.

The video was good and that it hit on many points, when people come to look more critically at theselves.

Let's be honest, he should have just said, "You're not happy because you're not Matthew McConaughey."

It's a well-known fact that being Matthew McConaughey is one of the surest paths to happiness.

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:Let's be honest, he should have just said, "You're not happy because you're not Matthew McConaughey."

It's a well-known fact that being Matthew McConaughey is one of the surest paths to happiness.

Goodness no, who wants to be an actor?

Also he never made any such claim, but asked people to find their own inner happiness.

Did you actually watch it?

I guess you did not and even though like many rich actors, they have also many faults

That was not the point of his video, so you should watch it and then comment

Though this is an example where he does act well



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4lnRK8QpC14

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:Let's be honest, he should have just said, "You're not happy because you're not Matthew McConaughey."

It's a well-known fact that being Matthew McConaughey is one of the surest paths to happiness.

I love that.

Thor wrote:

veya_victaous wrote:I don't agree with the first part, happiness is a state of mind.
some people find happiness in setting goals and achieving them and I agree that if that is all you got then your happiness will be fleeting.

I'm not sure I agree with most of it, I think just 'decide' to be happy. it's all about outlook (in my opinion)
when faced with a situation you can see struggle or an opportunity.
You can look at the rich kid and be jealous of the money you don't have or you can look at the homeless dude and give him a few coins and be thankful that you have enough money to do so.
You can dwell on the fact you're not perfect and your life is not perfect, Or appreciate all the things that you do have.
Be happy with generally moving in the right direction.
Fuck Being Perfect.

I think of joy more like grief, it is an 'inflicted emotion' you don't get a choice you just experience the circumstance (like deaths, births, marriages and divorces etc.)

1) You just did agree with the first part, that happiness is a state of mind Veya. With your state of mind for happiness, is based around setting goals and achieving them

2) The point is people strive to find happiness often in the wrong places, as they have a need for this and fail to see happiness comes from within ourselves. If we look for others to make us happy, then we can never be truely happy within ourselves. Then the happiness you end up sharing with someones comes freely and is not yearned for

3) I dont think the emphasis of the video is about being perfect, but accepting who we are.

The video was good and that it hit on many points, when people come to look more critically at theselves.

1) You misunderstood, 'Some people' but not everyone define their happiness by that. I do not set goals I personally feel happier being free to take life as it comes and see what opportunities arise. I find the idea of goals 'stressful' cause a lot of goals require luck, I'd prefer to not try and force luck and be more vigilant of where I am lucky enough to find an opportunity.

2) and I disagree, Decide to be Happy Force smile and say hello, be kind, remember to focus on the bright side, seek the silver lining, compliment people, pay attention and remember what you can about their personal situation (kids names, pets etc). Be Positive Both in yourself and towards others, Happiness is infectious. If You put the effort into being happy those around you will find it easier to be happy too.. which makes me happier so it is self feeding cycles once being that way becomes habit.
(which for me it has but I made a Conscious decision to be 'happy' when it was like 24, I was working a 24 by 7 roster traveling all over doing 'hands and feet' technical work trying to make a career.. it was a case of night or day trying to answer the phone cheerful, positive and full of help.. regardless of how i was feeling, it paid off and I got my first promotion to real tech work because, guess what? people like dealing with a happy helpful person so they say nice things about you to your boss, while saying how crap the guy with a bad attitude is. )

3) it sort of does, he suggest trying to be top of all areas that are important... I'm saying being happy doesn't require that, it's good to be on top of at least a couple of them and 'he' feels the need to be on top of them all.... but that is why a Happy Paraplegic (as someone that doesn't have 'health') probably has better advice on being happy for regular people.

veya_victaous wrote:

Thor wrote:

1) You just did agree with the first part, that happiness is a state of mind Veya. With your state of mind for happiness, is based around setting goals and achieving them

2) The point is people strive to find happiness often in the wrong places, as they have a need for this and fail to see happiness comes from within ourselves. If we look for others to make us happy, then we can never be truely happy within ourselves. Then the happiness you end up sharing with someones comes freely and is not yearned for

3) I dont think the emphasis of the video is about being perfect, but accepting who we are.

The video was good and that it hit on many points, when people come to look more critically at theselves.

1) You misunderstood, 'Some people' but not everyone define their happiness by that. I do not set goals I personally feel happier being free to take life as it comes and see what opportunities arise. I find the idea of goals 'stressful' cause a lot of goals require luck, I'd prefer to not try and force luck and be more vigilant of where I am lucky enough to find an opportunity.

2) and I disagree, Decide to be Happy Force smile and say hello, be kind, remember to focus on the bright side, seek the silver lining, compliment people, pay attention and remember what you can about their personal situation (kids names, pets etc). Be Positive Both in yourself and towards others, Happiness is infectious. If You put the effort into being happy those around you will find it easier to be happy too.. which makes me happier so it is self feeding cycles once being that way becomes habit.
(which for me it has but I made a Conscious decision to be 'happy' when it was like 24, I was working a 24 by 7 roster traveling all over doing 'hands and feet' technical work trying to make a career.. it was a case of night or day trying to answer the phone cheerful, positive and full of help.. regardless of how i was feeling, it paid off and I got my first promotion to real tech work because, guess what? people like dealing with a happy helpful person so they say nice things about you to your boss, while saying how crap the guy with a bad attitude is. )

3) it sort of does, he suggest trying to be top of all areas that are important... I'm saying being happy doesn't require that, it's good to be on top of at least a couple of them and 'he' feels the need to be on top of them all.... but that is why a Happy Paraplegic (as someone that doesn't have 'health') probably has better advice on being happy for regular people.

No problem, my mistake in regards to goals, but its still a state of mind happiness. Hence the view to find happiness from within. It then comes as if second nature.

I think people will always differ in what they think leads to happiness

Interesting there has been few recent study, which come to different conclusions with this

The first being the most interesting

Science Daily wrote:People fall in love for many reasons -- similar interests, physical attraction, and shared values among them. But if they marry and stay together, their long-term happiness may depend on their individual genes or those of their spouse, says a new study.

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/02/190228141331.htm

https://nypost.com/2019/02/26/having-children-could-reduce-your-happiness-says-study/

https://www.newidea.com.au/happiness-linked-to-being-a-morning-person-early-riser-better-mental-health

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2019/feb/01/facebook-mental-health-study-happiness-delete-account

https://www.babygaga.com/university-california-study-shows-dads-happier-than-moms/

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/religion-happy-atheism-psychology-faith-belief-emotion-mental-health-christianity-a8766376.html

http://time.com/5539942/green-space-health-wellness/

Yeah that's why i think people need to find what works for them.

and like I suggested 'My advice' is always going to be biased because it worked for me.... but hell if I'd kept it up for 10 years with no positive outcomes I'd probably go 'postal' or some shit. So it may be bad advice for some people.

I think Matt's statement of being on top of all areas could also be bad advice for some people, some peoples circumstances don't allow it and that doesn't exclude them from being happy.

I like Veyas's posts in this thread....he says a lot of what I think, he says it better though.

I was taught when growing up to "Count my blessings"....it may sound trite, but if you do your state of mind will lean on appreciating what you have, being content and satisfied, thus feeling happiness.

Mathew McConaughey's way may work for him, but I think if you have to dissect what makes you happy (or joyful as he prefers to call it) you spend too much time trying and less time being.

Money cant buy happiness

BUT

it CAN buy BEER

which is sort of the same thing but in liquid form

Syl wrote:I like Veyas's posts in this thread....he says a lot of what I think, he says it better though.

I was taught when growing up to "Count my blessings"....it may sound trite, but if you do your state of mind will lean on appreciating what you have, being content and satisfied, thus feeling happiness.

Mathew McConaughey's way may work for him, but I think if you have to dissect what makes you happy (or joyful as he prefers to call it) you spend too much time trying and less time being.

if you were whinging about nothing 'Count your blessings' is totally something my anglo side grandmother would say  

I think it is 'old fashion wisdom' that for the majority has been lost to consumerism and constant bombardment of media telling us we're incomplete if we don't buy whatever they're selling.

veya_victaous wrote:

Syl wrote:I like Veyas's posts in this thread....he says a lot of what I think, he says it better though.

I was taught when growing up to "Count my blessings"....it may sound trite, but if you do your state of mind will lean on appreciating what you have, being content and satisfied, thus feeling happiness.

Mathew McConaughey's way may work for him, but I think if you have to dissect what makes you happy (or joyful as he prefers to call it) you spend too much time trying and less time being.

if you were whinging about nothing 'Count your blessings' is totally something my anglo side grandmother would say  

I think it is 'old fashion wisdom' that for the majority has been lost to consumerism and constant bombardment of media telling us we're incomplete if we don't buy whatever they're selling.

Okay, but in what context does "count your blessings" mean?

Is it even wisdom mate?

Blessings is simple another conceptual standard, that for some people lack more than others.

So how shall we standardize blessings?

Shall we agree on life as a blessing or is it simple luck based on a time frame and geography?

If you were a Jew for example is your blessings based on being born today in Israel for example or in Nazi Germany?

You see when people make such a conceptual view point on blessings, it really has very little meaning to me

As some people would claimed they are blessed by taking the life of others

So where actually is the blessing within this?

To me, everything has to be about well being and even that can be done at the expense of others

Happiness, as i say only counts for people, when its within their own selfish needs and in reality based off evolution. As we are all inherantly selfish creatures. If we were not selfish, we would actually care more about those we leave behind and the actual planet. Which in reality hardly anyone actually does

Its why true happiness, is devoid of our own needs. In how we can be happy without what we truely yearn for

Its why so many relationships screw up, because we end up placing our own needs over others

Happiness to me, is be free from anything material or a need to find happiness

It will only ever come freely

Its why happiness is only ever a state of mind

Where to me, that when we truely free ourselves of our needs, can we actually find true freedom and happiness

Thor wrote:

veya_victaous wrote:

Syl wrote:I like Veyas's posts in this thread....he says a lot of what I think, he says it better though.

I was taught when growing up to "Count my blessings"....it may sound trite, but if you do your state of mind will lean on appreciating what you have, being content and satisfied, thus feeling happiness.

Mathew McConaughey's way may work for him, but I think if you have to dissect what makes you happy (or joyful as he prefers to call it) you spend too much time trying and less time being.

if you were whinging about nothing 'Count your blessings' is totally something my anglo side grandmother would say  

I think it is 'old fashion wisdom' that for the majority has been lost to consumerism and constant bombardment of media telling us we're incomplete if we don't buy whatever they're selling.

Okay, but in what context does "count your blessings" mean?

Is it even wisdom mate?

Blessings is simple another conceptual standard, that for some people lack more than others.

So how shall we standardize blessings?

Shall we agree on life as a blessing or is it simple luck based on a time frame and geography?

If you were a Jew for example is your blessings based on being born today in Israel for example or in Nazi Germany?

You see when people make such a conceptual view point on blessings, it really has very little meaning to me

As some people would claimed they are blessed by taking the life of others

So where actually is the blessing within this?

To me, everything has to be about well being and even that can be done at the expense of others

Happiness, as i say only counts for people, when its within their own selfish needs and in reality based off evolution. As we are all inherantly selfish creatures. If we were not selfish, we would actually care more about those we leave behind and the actual planet. Which in reality hardly anyone actually does

Its why true happiness, is devoid of our own needs. In how we can be happy without what we truely yearn for

Its why so many relationships screw up, because we end up placing our own needs over others

Happiness to me, is be free from anything material or a need to find happiness

It will only ever come freely

Its why happiness is only ever a state of mind

Where to me, that when we truely free ourselves of our needs, can we actually find true freedom and happiness

Yeah so if your state of mind is to count your 'good fortune' (the old saying uses the word blessings in this context, not a religious context) and not focus on the bad stuff you will be happier, that is the 'wisdom' of the people that lived through things like great depression and still tried to be happy and give their children a happy childhood.

is it wisdom? well they where able to be happy without needing the latest iPhone or a new pair of shoes .... so it is wise advice in my opinion... and you seem to agree in a convoluted way

veya_victaous wrote:I don't agree with the first part, happiness is a state of mind.
some people find happiness in setting goals and achieving them and I agree that if that is all you got then your happiness will be fleeting.

I'm not sure I agree with most of it, I think just 'decide' to be happy. it's all about outlook (in my opinion)
when faced with a situation you can see struggle or an opportunity.
You can look at the rich kid and be jealous of the money you don't have or you can look at the homeless dude and give him a few coins and be thankful that you have enough money to do so.
You can dwell on the fact you're not perfect and your life is not perfect, Or appreciate all the things that you do have.
Be happy with generally moving in the right direction.
Fuck Being Perfect.

I think of joy more like grief, it is an 'inflicted emotion' you don't get a choice you just experience the circumstance (like deaths, births, marriages and divorces etc.)

I totally agree with this post.

I always liked this line from a Belle & Sebastian song: "Happiness is not for keeping / happiness is not my goal."

Happiness is not for keeping ? Miserable sod !

Being incredibly unambitious throughout life...yet getting by and being mostly happy doing it, I think ambition is the cause of a lot of peoples unhappiness.
Always aiming for a higher goal and stressing till you get there....but some always want more.

nicko wrote:Happiness is not for keeping ?   Miserable sod !

It's not nicko   (I think you missed the idea)

You should not be trying to keep happiness, You should be trying to give happiness to others

I agree with this concept (although you shouldn't be a doormat either)

I always try to give happiness . even to Wolfie

Where is he by the way ?

veya has it bang on in this thread

i'm not as articulate as he is but yeah, everything he said

veya_victaous wrote:

nicko wrote:Happiness is not for keeping ?   Miserable sod !

It's not nicko   (I think you missed the idea)

You should not be trying to keep happiness, You should be trying to give happiness to others

I agree with this concept (although you shouldn't be a doormat either)

It's true...if the people around you are happy, especially if you have had a part in their happiness, it makes you happy too....happiness, goodwill, joy, whatever you want to call it, is infectious.

If you know anyone who is on a permanent downer that can also rub off on you if you are in their company for long   ....and the opposite is true of happiness.

nicko wrote:I always try to give happiness .  even to Wolfie

Where is he by the way ?

I was thinking the same thing ....  

Does anyone know where wolf is?

veya_victaous wrote:

nicko wrote:I always try to give happiness .  even to Wolfie

Where is he by the way ?

I was thinking the same thing ....  

Does anyone know where wolf is?

He was online yesterday Veya

No idea why he has not posted, maybe nothing tkaes his fancy???

well hopefully that's all