Do you actually like people?

I ask because it seems more and more, people dont seem to 'like' others.

Driving in a car its very noticeable, walking down the street, people have no patience to wait if an older person is slow, in shops, assistants or customers often do the transaction in stony silence, when a smile or a pleasant word used to be the norm.
So many people are glued to their phones it's as if they dont even see other people, never mind treat them with any sort of courtesy.
People are far more rude nowadays, what happened to please and thank you?

Us old un's are mostly polite !

nicko wrote:Us old un's are mostly polite !

Some are not all.

I can guarantee if I am ever in a queue and someone tries to push in it's rarely a young person, oddly it's usually very short older women with a couple of shopping bags.
Also....older men tend to get very grumpy with strangers, they have no patience. I call it the Victor Meldrew syndrome, it seems to strike and progress from 60 onwards.

I don't believe it

I mostly like people but then that because I get them talking. Not just “talking” I mean, talking.

Once you get people talking they’re less inclined to be boring, ordinary and bland by giving stock casual conversation answers.

I always think I'm not keen on people but once I get talking to others I mostly find its not true.

nicko wrote:I don't believe it

I had a feeling that would be your response.

eddie wrote:I mostly like people but then that because I get them talking. Not just “talking” I mean, talking.

Once you get people talking they’re less inclined to be boring, ordinary and bland by giving stock casual conversation answers.

I can see you as a 'people person'. It's quite a skill to get people to open up and talk to you, to get past the nice weather comments.

Vintage wrote:I always think I'm not keen on people but once I get talking to others I mostly find its not true.

Maybe you are one of those people who dont really like others till they get to know them a bit better....my mum was like that, very reserved but once she got to know someone she was very warm hearted.

I tend to like everyone till I find out they are not very nice.

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Syl wrote:

nicko wrote:Us old un's are mostly polite !

Some are not all.

I can guarantee if I am ever in a queue and someone tries to push in it's rarely a young person, oddly it's usually very short  older women  with a couple of shopping bags.

We get that in the US, more in the eastern part. The English love to queue...it's a cultural habit. And, we were once English, so that is our base standard. But in our eastern US, we have a lot of eastern Europeans who do not have the same anglicized habits. I sometimes think crowding in front of others is marketplace behavior, and what do you have but a bunch of Italian or Greek women, in black, pushing to get at the best apples or peaches.

As you move west in the US, people generally get less competitive and nicer, if not necessarily always polite. They aren't exactly anglicized, so-to-speak, but they are more tolerant. It's a part of the relaxed, less frantic atmosphere as one moves away from the New York's and Philadelphia's of the country.

Syl wrote:

eddie wrote:I mostly like people but then that because I get them talking. Not just “talking” I mean, talking.

Once you get people talking they’re less inclined to be boring, ordinary and bland by giving stock casual conversation answers.

I can see you as a 'people person'. It's quite a skill to get people to open up and talk to you, to get past the nice weather comments.

Well my actual job in real life, is the “face” / front of house of the establishment. Hahahahaha I literally get paid to talk to people.

eddie wrote:

Syl wrote:

I can see you as a 'people person'. It's quite a skill to get people to open up and talk to you, to get past the nice weather comments.

Well my actual job in real life, is the “face” / front of house of the establishment. Hahahahaha I literally get paid to talk to people.

Yes i bet you are good at that, some people are not meant to be behind the scenes.

Lord Foul wrote:NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bollocks

You are the biggest softy on here

Syl wrote:

eddie wrote:

Syl wrote:

I can see you as a 'people person'. It's quite a skill to get people to open up and talk to you, to get past the nice weather comments.

Well my actual job in real life, is the “face” / front of house of the establishment. Hahahahaha I literally get paid to talk to people.

Yes i bet you are good at that, some people are not meant to be behind the scenes.

I try. It never works though. I’m too.....erm, loud and I tend to instigate change.

in Australia there is a big difference between city and country, even Sydney a city of 5 million compared to Canberra a city of 400,000.

it's most noticeable in they ways Syl mentioned, traffic and shops etc

I think a lot of it comes down to actually knowing the other people, combined with chances you're going to meet again.
Like living in Tarago a Town with less than 400 people, I expect that I am going to see/interact again with any of the locals I meet walking the dogs etc and they expect it too, so their is 'mutual benefit' being friendly acquaintances.
The Bigger the population the less chance of seeing people again so the less 'point' of being friendly (or even behaving civilly).

In Sydney if someone has a tantrum at a shop assistant, the chance of someone they know seeing them and judging them is slim. in Canberra it's a reasonable chance, in Goulburn (population of 23,000) there is a high chance, in Tarago it's 100%.
I think this changes the way people deal with Shop assistants etc, (they treat them more like people and less like servants) and the Shop assistance attitudes depend on how many 'dickhead' customers they have to deal with a day, which is higher in cities.

Okay, so you talked a hell of a lot about a city and it’s people.

But the question was: DO YOU LIKE PEOPLE?


Can’t anyone answer a question? Why the waffle?
Just answer with the first thing that you think, it’s usailly the truth.

I really like a person, but people tend to irritate me, to be fair

One on one, I can get along with just about anybody. There's a Trump supporter in my neighborhood who I will tell you all is smart and kind, and a person worth knowing.

But I do like people. I probably actually think about this too much, and now I'm going to invite you all into what can become my personal hell at times. Look at this photo:



Look at all of them. You can't even count them. Now think about the reality that is - each and every one of them is the star of the story of their life.

This happens to me, driving into work in the morning. I'm surrounded by people in cars and I start to get caught up in what their stories might be, and it can almost drive me mad.

They're not random people. They're all me, but with a different body and attitudes and loved ones and circumstances. All those people in the photo, and a million times their number, are you, just born in a different place, in a different body, with different circumstances.

Okay that got really pretentious really fast. I'm probably just drunk. Nothing to see here, move along ...

Does that person know you hate Trump? Did you tell them?

eddie wrote:Does that person know you hate Trump? Did you tell them?

Nah, you know how people are. They can be tribal, and fail to understand nuance. Since I actually like this guy and would prefer to get to know him better than to fight him, I downplay politics. I want to know more about him being a helicopter pilot, but if I were to tell him I liked Obama, he'd very likely never speak to me again.

He might. It's just a judgment call that I made, based on the facts I have.

*THE Ben Reilly* wrote:

eddie wrote:Does that person know you hate Trump? Did you tell them?

Nah, you know how people are. They can be tribal, and fail to understand nuance. Since I actually like this guy and would prefer to get to know him better than to fight him, I downplay politics. I want to know more about him being a helicopter pilot, but if I were to tell him I liked Obama, he'd very likely never speak to me again.

He might. It's just a judgment call that I made, based on the facts I have.

So you don’t know if you like him, seeing as he doesnt know you...hence, no real communication, ergo you don’t know each other, ergo, you have no idea if you like him because you can’t like someone if you have no real communication.

Just my thoughts. But I am a little bit odd.

eddie wrote:

*THE Ben Reilly* wrote:

eddie wrote:Does that person know you hate Trump? Did you tell them?

Nah, you know how people are. They can be tribal, and fail to understand nuance. Since I actually like this guy and would prefer to get to know him better than to fight him, I downplay politics. I want to know more about him being a helicopter pilot, but if I were to tell him I liked Obama, he'd very likely never speak to me again.

He might. It's just a judgment call that I made, based on the facts I have.

So you don’t  know if you like him, seeing as he doesnt know you...hence, no real communication, ergo you don’t know each other, ergo, you have no idea if you like him because you can’t like someone if you have no real communication.

Just my thoughts. But I am a little bit odd.

Honestly I didn't read your whole post because I knew what you'd say. I'm just saying I went with my gut.

Yeah. I wish everyone would go with their gut instead of saying what they think people should hear.

Oh well, nevermind!

eddie wrote:Okay, so you talked a hell of a lot about a city and it’s people.

But the question was: DO YOU LIKE PEOPLE?


Can’t anyone answer a question? Why the waffle?
Just answer with the first thing that you think, it’s usailly the truth.

how can lump all 'people' together? my gut answer is the question is too simple, any yes or no answer would be silly.

Some are nice, some are not

And I talked about 3 different size cities and a small town, in the country people tend to be nicer at least in the superficial ways Syl mentioned

Politics is not as divisive here as the USA, people wouldn't not be friends because of how they voted

eddie wrote:

*THE Ben Reilly* wrote:

eddie wrote:Does that person know you hate Trump? Did you tell them?

Nah, you know how people are. They can be tribal, and fail to understand nuance. Since I actually like this guy and would prefer to get to know him better than to fight him, I downplay politics. I want to know more about him being a helicopter pilot, but if I were to tell him I liked Obama, he'd very likely never speak to me again.

He might. It's just a judgment call that I made, based on the facts I have.

So you don’t  know if you like him, seeing as he doesnt know you...hence, no real communication, ergo you don’t know each other, ergo, you have no idea if you like him because you can’t like someone if you have no real communication.

Just my thoughts. But I am a little bit odd.

Honestly, You have no idea about Male friendships 

Communication?!??!?!?  that shits for women 

I like Bens answer, everyone has a story.
The most seemingly boring person has led a life and has had experiences that you havent, it's just that so many people are not interested and dismiss them as not worth getting to know.

I believe it's the same with older people, they have used up their time here, people just see the shell, not realising that they were young, intelligent, lovely, and have probably forgotten more than some of the people who write them off will ever know.

I know we cant get to know everyone we meet, but a smile or a kind word when interacting with people helps.

I just think so many people dont care anymore....and I think the internet has a lot to do with that. (and I know I have said that before but imo it's true)

+1

eddie wrote:I mostly like people but then that because I get them talking. Not just “talking” I mean, talking.

Once you get people talking they’re less inclined to be boring, ordinary and bland by giving stock casual conversation answers.

.

i'm the same

i had a great chat yesterday with some copper on a bus from dagenham to chadwell heath

he got on and sat up the back next to me and for a joke i said ''oh, so they've even taken your cars now, have they? so now you're doing your shift on a bus, right?'' i was grinning and couldnt believe it when he told me ''yes, that's exactly what's happening although they are talking about giving us push bikes''

i was gobsmacked and we got talking about the force today etc. he'd been in the force 23 years and seen a lot of changes

i asked what he thought about all the political correctness swamping the force and he told me it sucks

i mentioned that most people i know would consider coppers on the ground decent people but believe that the management/hierarchy is corrupt

he told me they were correct in this belief

he seemed like a lovely bloke. i think most people are deep down but perhaps if people have noticed the change that syl has then most people are just gonna keep their heads down and go with it.

i'm a bit like syl also in the fact that i firmly believe the best in people until they give me evidence to the contrary.

i also have an unfortunate habit of offending people cos if i think they're chatting shit i tend to say so but no matter how polite i try to be, in general, folks dont like to be told they're chatting shit

but what can you do?

Gels, you’re very similar to me in a lot of ways.

Syl wrote:I ask because it seems more and more, people dont seem to 'like' others.

Driving in a car its very noticeable, walking down the street, people have no patience to wait if an older person is slow, in shops, assistants or customers often do the transaction in stony silence, when a smile or a pleasant word used to be the norm.
So many people are glued to their phones it's as if they dont even see other people, never mind treat them with any sort of courtesy.
People are far more rude nowadays, what happened to please and thank you?

I don't tend to 'like people' when I'm getting about in public. ESPECIALLY since the advent of Smartphones. People are just zombies glued to their screens. It's fucking painful. And I don't tend to like people when driving either. Too many people don't know what they are doing - drivers and pedestrians lol (of course, they probably don't like me in roles reversed so whatever...).

I DO like people in general, though. I honestly believe everybody but the most sociopathic arseholes genuinely wants what is best for society. There is just maHOOsive disagreement on what that actually entails. But knowing that everyone ultimately wants what's best means I can never really 'not like' 'people'. I couldn't do my job if that were the case

But as a very much introverted person who likes his privacy and quiet time, I can honestly say that while I 'like people' I do NOT like being 'around' people for extended periods of time.

Fuck them after about 2 hours, fuck them all

+1

Eilzel wrote:

Syl wrote:I ask because it seems more and more, people dont seem to 'like' others.

Driving in a car its very noticeable, walking down the street, people have no patience to wait if an older person is slow, in shops, assistants or customers often do the transaction in stony silence, when a smile or a pleasant word used to be the norm.
So many people are glued to their phones it's as if they dont even see other people, never mind treat them with any sort of courtesy.
People are far more rude nowadays, what happened to please and thank you?

I don't tend to 'like people' when I'm getting about in public. ESPECIALLY since the advent of Smartphones. People are just zombies glued to their screens. It's fucking painful. And I don't tend to like people when driving either. Too many people don't know what they are doing - drivers and pedestrians lol (of course, they probably don't like me in roles reversed so whatever...).

I DO like people in general, though. I honestly believe everybody but the most sociopathic arseholes genuinely wants what is best for society. There is just maHOOsive disagreement on what that actually entails. But knowing that everyone ultimately wants what's best means I can never really 'not like' 'people'. I couldn't do my job if that were the case

But as a very much introverted person who likes his privacy and quiet time, I can honestly say that while I 'like people' I do NOT like being 'around' people for extended periods of time.

Fuck them after about 2 hours, fuck them all

I get what you are saying about private time. I am not an introvert, but I really love my own company, and it's not a bad thing. People who enjoy their own company are seldom bored, and people who are bored are often boring ime.

Driving could be less painful if people would only show manners, it's not hard to acknowledge if someone has given way for example, but the worst drivers, the ones who show no respect for others, are the ones who think they are entitled to push in, overtake on the inside, tailgate etc....stupid and dangerous, and guaranteed to put you in a bad mood which has a knock on effect for everyone else.

Eilzel wrote:

Syl wrote:I ask because it seems more and more, people dont seem to 'like' others.

Driving in a car its very noticeable, walking down the street, people have no patience to wait if an older person is slow, in shops, assistants or customers often do the transaction in stony silence, when a smile or a pleasant word used to be the norm.
So many people are glued to their phones it's as if they dont even see other people, never mind treat them with any sort of courtesy.
People are far more rude nowadays, what happened to please and thank you?

I don't tend to 'like people' when I'm getting about in public. ESPECIALLY since the advent of Smartphones. People are just zombies glued to their screens. It's fucking painful. And I don't tend to like people when driving either. Too many people don't know what they are doing - drivers and pedestrians lol (of course, they probably don't like me in roles reversed so whatever...).

I DO like people in general, though. I honestly believe everybody but the most sociopathic arseholes genuinely wants what is best for society. There is just maHOOsive disagreement on what that actually entails. But knowing that everyone ultimately wants what's best means I can never really 'not like' 'people'. I couldn't do my job if that were the case

But as a very much introverted person who likes his privacy and quiet time, I can honestly say that while I 'like people' I do NOT like being 'around' people for extended periods of time.

Fuck them after about 2 hours, fuck them all

+3...

The photo with all those people - my idea of hell on earth, if I was amongst them.

I don't like public transport... it's a bit too 'public' for me...!

Vintage wrote:The photo with all those people - my idea of hell on earth, if I was amongst them.

Mine too, and can you imagine the trauma if you needed the loo.

So true that /\.

When we take our grandsons to the caravan, the internet is so slow they give up.
We get out, full days on the beach and in the sea, night times eating out or having leisurely meals round the table...even card games and scrabble if its raining. They lose their pallor, get a tan, love every minute.

As soon as they get home every spare minute is again back in the bedroom on the computer.

Syl wrote:

Vintage wrote:The photo with all those people - my idea of hell on earth, if I was amongst them.

Mine too, and can you imagine the trauma if you needed the loo.

Yet, we all live in cities (except wolf). Guess we need the company.

Original Quill wrote:

Syl wrote:

Mine too, and can you imagine the trauma if you needed the loo.

Yet, we all live in cities (except wolf).  Guess we need the company.

I bet lots of people would love to get out of the city but cant because it's not practical.
I actually like mixing with people in shops etc, I shop a lot more out and about than I ever do online... (the mass crowd in the pic above would scare me to death though)

Syl wrote:

Original Quill wrote:

Yet, we all live in cities (except wolf).  Guess we need the company.

I bet lots of people would love to get out of the city but cant because it's not practical.
I actually like mixing with people in shops etc, I shop a lot more out and about than I ever do online... (the mass crowd in the pic above would scare me to death though)

I agree, I can't take to many people. When I lived in New York City, the subways at Grand Central at rush hour used to scare me.

But within moderation, we all flock to cities and we have vehicles to get us to places of other/many people, when we move to the country. A fascinating book about this is by Leo Marx, called The Machine in the Garden. It's about the contradiction.

Original Quill wrote:

Syl wrote:

I bet lots of people would love to get out of the city but cant because it's not practical.
I actually like mixing with people in shops etc, I shop a lot more out and about than I ever do online... (the mass crowd in the pic above would scare me to death though)

I agree, I can't take to many people.  When I lived in New York City, the subways at Grand Central at rush hour used to scare me.

But within moderation, we all flock to cities and we have vehicles to get us to places of other/many people, when we move to the country.  A fascinating book about this is by Leo Marx, called The Machine in the Garden.  It's about the contradiction.

Thanks Quill, I will have a look online.

I live just outside of the city...Manchester is brilliant, but tbh, the older I get the more I love the quiet slower pace of life I have here...not actually in the countrside but sort of bordering on it.

Don't live in the city, I go there only when I really have to which is rare. I do what I have to and get out as quickly as possible.
I get up each morning and look out over green rolling hills unless I look down and see the expanded village, soon to be expanded by another 800 homes. If we go into the nearest town which is dying on its feet, we pass through hill farmland then after a while its houses again building work joining up the villages to one sprawl, not a new shop or school in sight, just fields that would be and have been productive now filled with brick boxes filled with people before the paint is dry.

Vintage wrote:Don't live in the city, I go there only when I really have to which is rare. I do what I have to and get out as quickly as possible.
I get up each morning and look out over green rolling hills unless I look down and see the expanded village, soon to be expanded by another 800 homes. If we go into the nearest town which is dying on its feet, we pass through hill farmland then after a while its houses again building work joining up the villages to one sprawl, not a new shop or school in sight, just fields that would be and have been productive now filled with brick boxes filled with people before the paint is dry.

I know it's so called progress, but it's sad when our green and pleasant land is taken away to build sprawling housing estates, often priced out of the reach of first time buyers or working class families.

I also look out over fields, horses come to the bottom of the garden, it's my little sanctuary. But I can be in town (Manchester city centre) within 20 minutes, so, so far I have the best of both worlds.
Whether it will be like this for my son when he inherits the house I doubt it.

I like to be near people. If hate to be in a secluded place, far away from people.

Of course I like my own space, who doesn’t? But people in general, feed a need in my soul.

eddie wrote:I like to be near people. If hate to be in a secluded place, far away from people.

Of course I like my own space, who doesn’t? But people in general, feed a need in my soul.

eddie's a Soul Vampire 
feeding on the souls of others 

veya_victaous wrote:

eddie wrote:I like to be near people. If hate to be in a secluded place, far away from people.

Of course I like my own space, who doesn’t? But people in general, feed a need in my soul.

eddie's a Soul Vampire 
feeding on the souls of others 

Then I am too! What's better than to be around people who make you think about shit you never thought of before?

I think people who aren't like that are abject cowards. Too afraid to have their worldview challenged.

maybe you are 
it does seem some people 'feed' on others. 
I think that is why some people don't like 'hanging around people' 
the 'feeders' Drain them of their own energy  


I don't know that 'People' make me think of stuff i never thought of before, that is not my experience. 
In fact the opposite, with out the 'Noise of Humanity' (the cars, people, lights etc)  one can focus on more Interesting Hypothesis. 


I don't mind company, but I don't feel a need for it, since I am 'complete' enough in myself to be happy by myself. I don't have this Need to Feed on others. But definitely know people that Feel like they are 'feeding' on my energy leaving me feel drained If I spend Too Long with them.

*THE Ben Reilly* wrote:

veya_victaous wrote:

eddie wrote:I like to be near people. If hate to be in a secluded place, far away from people.

Of course I like my own space, who doesn’t? But people in general, feed a need in my soul.

eddie's a Soul Vampire 
feeding on the souls of others 

Then I am too! What's better than to be around people who make you think about shit you never thought of before?

I think people who aren't like that are abject cowards. Too afraid to have their worldview challenged.

People who don't like to think about things they've never thought about certainly are cowards. But that isn't the only reason people spend a lot of time alone. Sometimes some people just have enough of other people and need to be alone. I see at as a battery recharge lol, I probably just need recharging more than most lol. But when I have a long winded debate with a friend or family member, I never feel more energised tbh

veya_victaous wrote:maybe you are 
it does seem some people 'feed' on others. 
I think that is why some people don't like 'hanging around people' 
the 'feeders' Drain them of their own energy  


I don't know that 'People' make me think of stuff i never thought of before, that is not my experience. 
In fact the opposite, with out the 'Noise of Humanity' (the cars, people, lights etc)  one can focus on more Interesting Hypothesis. 


I don't mind company, but I don't feel a need for it, since I am 'complete' enough in myself to be happy by myself. I don't have this Need to Feed on others. But definitely know people that Feel like they are 'feeding' on my energy leaving me feel drained If I spend Too Long with them.

Likewise, 100%.

In fact, spending too much time around other people and hearing the BS some have to say, is probably why so many people end up sharing the same bizarre ideas about things (and subsequently elect orange blimps for important roles, not that I want to get political or anything )