DEBUNKING POPULAR CLICHES! PART ONE

(By Benddie)

"A penny saved is a penny earned"

No, a penny saved is categorically NOT a penny earned; a penny saved is a penny you've already earned and now you're saving it.

(And you apparently have some kind of weird job where you get paid in pennies.)

And if you're saving pennies, you're probably putting them in a piggy bank and you wear saddle shoes and pigtails and you're saving up for candy because YOU ARE A LITTLE GIRL.

“There’s always tomorrow”

Yeah. That’s right. But what if you’re dead? There’s no tomorrow for a dead dude.

And so what if there’s always a tomorrow? How does that help me when I’m poor and homeless and I have an STD?

That’s just another day of misery.

And another thing. “Tomorrow never comes,” so that’s a contradiction right there.

"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"

No, a bird in the hand is only worth one half of two birds in the bush, you're actually just a lazy-butt who'd rather settle for the one bird that you already have, rather than get off your backside and try to get the other two.

“Remember, your darkest hour is only sixty minutes long”

Oh you don’t say. So while I sit here in my darkest hour, depressed, suicidal and desperate, I can console myself by counting the minutes until I reach sixty, which is going to help me how?

Counting the minutes will make the hour seem longer than an hour and with every tick of the second hand I’ll know that my life is ruined.

"The early bird gets the worm"

There are worms outside all day. You don't have to show up early. This cliche was obviously made up by "morning people" who should just all go away and shut up.

And why do you want worms so bad, are you some kind of fisherman or something?

“Make love, not war!”

That only works if all the soldiers on the battlefield are gay. Let’s be honest.

"A stitch in time saves nine"

Nine what?! Nine babies? Nine brain surgeons? I have no idea what I'm saving or whether I want to save them when you just say "saves nine." I don't want to stitch time if it's going to save nine rapists, for example.

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree"

Tell that to an apple tree that's been hit by a tornado.

Oh wait, you can't - it's dead!

“Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth”

Firstly, if someone gives me a gift why would I want to look in their mouth? Unless they have donated their teeth to me, then I’d look to be curious.

Secondly,  why is a gift-giver compared to a horse? I didn’t even know horses gave out gifts.

I’ve met horses and not once, did they offer me a gift!

“An apple keeps the doctor away”

Only if you throw the apple at the doctor.

Just about the most negative bullshit I have ever read and is more likley a bible for people to self harm

Seriously, how could you post this Ben, when there is a positive answer to all the above?

How you feel now is horrrible, but that, was just plain stupid

I hate to see people dispondent

The gretest gift that you have, and eddie has, is love

Its magical

Its enduring

Its ever lasting

So why post such negativity?

Um, isn't this supposed to be amusing?

Not in my book

Its so negative

I always thought the horse was the gift, not that horses gave gifts.

What is this Benndie anyway? I wish you two would speak for yourselves.

Doctors don't go to see patients these days anyway. In fact, you're lucky to be able to go and see one in some areas - allegedly.

Hahahahaha, somebody had their funny bone removed!

Come on, do either of you take this shit seriously?

We're forum frolicking.

Yeah really.

*THE Ben Reilly* wrote:Hahahahaha, somebody had their funny bone removed!

Come on, do either of you take this shit seriously?

We're forum frolicking.

Yeah really.

Er no. My replies were supposed to be humorous. I guess that didn't come across.

Raggamuffin wrote:What is this Benndie anyway? I wish you two would speak for yourselves.

I will answer seven paces behind my husband.

*THE Ben Reilly* wrote:Hahahahaha, somebody had their funny bone removed!

Come on, do either of you take this shit seriously?

We're forum frolicking.

Yeah really.

I did not even find it funny mate, seeriously

If that is dark humour, its the worst I have seen

It's very Dad's Army really.

Didge wrote:

*THE Ben Reilly* wrote:Hahahahaha, somebody had their funny bone removed!

Come on, do either of you take this shit seriously?

We're forum frolicking.

Yeah really.

I did not even find it funny mate, seeriously

If that is dark humour, its the worst I have seen

That’s not dark humour.

Ah well, you know the old saying, "Some people create, other people criticize."

Actually you don't, because I just created that phrase.

Creativity!

eddie wrote:

Didge wrote:


I did not even find it funny mate, seeriously

If that is dark humour, its the worst I have seen

That’s not dark humour.

I disagree, its was so negative and dark

I have a great sense of humour as well

Is this what the book is going to be like?

I will still be honest on it.

Didge wrote:

eddie wrote:

Didge wrote:


I did not even find it funny mate, seeriously

If that is dark humour, its the worst I have seen

That’s not dark humour.

I disagree, its was so negative and dark

I have a great sense of humour as well

Is this what the book is going to be like?

I will still be honest on it.

That's an excerpt from our book, actually.

How was it negative and dark? It was humorous in the way that the quotes were taken so literally. My replies were supposed to be humorous in the same way. Oh well.

Hahahahahahahaha.

Nah, really, the book is much worse.

Raggamuffin wrote:How was it negative and dark? It was humorous in the way that the quotes were taken so literally. My replies were supposed to be humorous in the same way. Oh well.

Sorry rags. I did get the doctor one.

*THE Ben Reilly* wrote:

Didge wrote:


I disagree, its was so negative and dark

I have a great sense of humour as well

Is this what the book is going to be like?

I will still be honest on it.

That's an excerpt from our book, actually.

Well, I would have suggest you never said

I now hold a negative view towards this

Again to me, the above was dark and negative

That is my view mate and reasoning on psychology

Guess i am going to be very critical

sorry

Also, the apples from my apple tree have fallen off right underneath it. The chances of there being a tornado round here are very remote, and beside, a tornado wouldn't knock my apple tree down. It's been leaning at a perilous angle for years but it's still standing.

I mean i do hope I like your book, but if the above is anything to go by.


hmmmmm

Maybe I not going to get it and then many others wont

Just saying

Just being honest

Hopefully I have taken this out of context without reading the rest

Didge, learn to read sarcasm. It’s not from the book?
The book is a novel. These are just jokes.

Apparently crap ones.

Didge wrote:I mean i do hope I like your book, but if the above is anything to go by.


hmmmmm

Maybe I not going to get it and then many others wont

Just saying

Just being honest

Hopefully I have taken this out of context without reading the rest

Why not take the thread in the humorous spirit in which it's clearly meant instead of getting so heavy?

"Cheap at half the price" is something you often hear from salesmen hawking their wares. Well of course it's cheap at half the price!

I mean it would be, wouldn't it.

Jules wrote:"Cheap at half the price" is something you often hear from salesmen hawking their wares. Well of course it's cheap at half the price!

I mean it would be, wouldn't it.

When I was a kid, I'd see commercials promising that you could have "big savings" or "save money" and I always thought, "But they're asking you to buy stuff, how's that saving money?"

I also ate chalk.

eddie wrote:Didge, learn to read sarcasm. It’s not from the book?
The book is a novel. These are just jokes.

Apparently crap ones.

I agree thay are crap ones and to me not funny

So I do not need to learn to read anything thanks

They simple are not funny

*THE Ben Reilly* wrote:(By Benddie)

"A penny saved is a penny earned"

No, a penny saved is categorically NOT a penny earned; a penny saved is a penny you've already earned and now you're saving it.

(And you apparently have some kind of weird job where you get paid in pennies.)

And if you're saving pennies, you're probably putting them in a piggy bank and you wear saddle shoes and pigtails and you're saving up for candy because YOU ARE A LITTLE GIRL.

“There’s always tomorrow”

Yeah. That’s right. But what if you’re dead? There’s no tomorrow for a dead dude.

And so what if there’s always a tomorrow? How does that help me when I’m poor and homeless and I have an STD?

That’s just another day of misery.

And another thing. “Tomorrow never comes,” so that’s a contradiction right there.

"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"

No, a bird in the hand is only worth one half of two birds in the bush, you're actually just a lazy-butt who'd rather settle for the one bird that you already have, rather than get off your backside and try to get the other two.

“Remember, your darkest hour is only sixty minutes long”

Oh you don’t say. So while I sit here in my darkest hour, depressed, suicidal and desperate, I can console myself by counting the minutes until I reach sixty, which is going to help me how?

Counting the minutes will make the hour seem longer than an hour and with every tick of the second hand I’ll know that my life is ruined.

"The early bird gets the worm"

There are worms outside all day. You don't have to show up early. This cliche was obviously made up by "morning people" who should just all go away and shut up.

And why do you want worms so bad, are you some kind of fisherman or something?

“Make love, not war!”

That only works if all the soldiers on the battlefield are gay. Let’s be honest.

"A stitch in time saves nine"

Nine what?! Nine babies? Nine brain surgeons? I have no idea what I'm saving or whether I want to save them when you just say "saves nine." I don't want to stitch time if it's going to save nine rapists, for example.

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree"

Tell that to an apple tree that's been hit by a tornado.

Oh wait, you can't - it's dead!

“Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth”

Firstly, if someone gives me a gift why would I want to look in their mouth? Unless they have donated their teeth to me, then I’d look to be curious.

Secondly,  why is a gift-giver compared to a horse? I didn’t even know horses gave out gifts.

I’ve met horses and not once, did they offer me a gift!

“An apple keeps the doctor away”

Only if you throw the apple at the doctor.

I thought they were hilarious

Some criticisms and agreement:

As an early bird myself, I'd point out the rest of you are clearly lazy cunt night owls who are just bitter you don't have any worms!

And indeed, as a gay man, were I in the military I would absolutely promote making love not war. Interestingly this also links with another great cliche "love thy enemy".

PS: definitely post if you come up with more of these

*THE Ben Reilly* wrote:

Jules wrote:"Cheap at half the price" is something you often hear from salesmen hawking their wares. Well of course it's cheap at half the price!

I mean it would be, wouldn't it.

When I was a kid, I'd see commercials promising that you could have "big savings" or "save money" and I always thought, "But they're asking you to buy stuff, how's that saving money?"

I also ate chalk.

Jules wrote:"Cheap at half the price" is something you often hear from salesmen hawking their wares. Well of course it's cheap at half the price!

I mean it would be, wouldn't it.

Yes, it should surely be - cheap at twice the price.

eddie wrote:
Didge, learn to read sarcasm. It’s not from the book?
The book is a novel. These are just jokes.

Apparently crap ones.

That's just diddery ol' Dodge being his usual curmudgeonly self...

Seen plenty of that side of him lately..

Funny thread.

How about 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger'

Billions of things dont kill you, so how come so many people are still weak?

Ignorance is bliss?

Many ignorant people are not happy....in fact ignorance breeds frustration and unhappiness.

Love is blind.......might be a bit of truth in that one as long as it's not taken literally. Love is an emotion, and emotions dont have eyes.

Well, we thought it was funny.

eddie wrote:Well, we thought it was funny.

So did me and Rags Eilzel and Jules....in fact everyone but Didge.

Raggamuffin wrote:I always thought the horse was the gift, not that horses gave gifts.

You're right about that.

Also, with a 'bird in the hand/worth two in the bush', the author is discounting the value of labor.  If one were to get 'off your backside', he would be putting in extra labor, which must be added to the cost of the two in the bush.  This must be considered when comparing the worth of the two birds that haven't been caught.  Thereby, the one in the hand is available at less cost, and thus is a more valuable bargain.

Ergo: the maxim is still correct.

Original Quill wrote:

Raggamuffin wrote:I always thought the horse was the gift, not that horses gave gifts.

You're right about that.

Also, with a 'bird in the hand/worth two in the bush', the author is discounting the value of labor.  If one were to get 'off your backside', he would be putting in extra labor, which must be added to the cost of the two in the bush.  This must be considered when comparing the worth of the two birds that haven't been caught.  Thereby, the one in the hand is more available at less cost, and thus worth more.

Ergo: the maxim is still correct.

Oh shurrup and laugh already

Raggamuffin wrote:I always thought the horse was the gift, not that horses gave gifts.

that's correct.
and you look in the mouth of a horse to guess it's age/quality... 


Plus I am pretty sure the world keeps turning, and hence a tomorrow, even when we shift off the mortal coil  

"The early bird gets the worm"

There are worms outside all day. You don't have to show up early. This cliche was obviously made up by "morning people" who should just all go away and shut up.

And why do you want worms so bad, are you some kind of fisherman or something? 

since we're having fun dissecting ben's work 

the worms move to the surface when there is enough water (like early morning dew) to prevent them drying out. 

ohh and the counter is 
"..But the 2nd mouse gets the cheese" 

Syl wrote:

eddie wrote:Well, we thought it was funny.

So did me and Rags Eilzel and Jules....in fact everyone but Didge.

It's controversial to say the least. There's at least one guy on Facebook who can't believe we'd spend money to boost this list.

*THE Ben Reilly* wrote:

Syl wrote:

So did me and Rags Eilzel and Jules....in fact everyone but Didge.

It's controversial to say the least. There's at least one guy on Facebook who can't believe we'd spend money to boost this list.

Maybe im not getting it, but I cant see whats controversial about any of it.
You are not disecting the bible or the quran......just some sayings that people have used in a light hearted way for decades.

Syl wrote:

*THE Ben Reilly* wrote:

Syl wrote:

So did me and Rags Eilzel and Jules....in fact everyone but Didge.

It's controversial to say the least. There's at least one guy on Facebook who can't believe we'd spend money to boost this list.

Maybe im not getting it, but I cant see whats controversial about any of it.
You are not disecting the bible or the quran......just some sayings that people have used in a light hearted way for decades.

Because some people are dumb and don’t understand it’s a joke. Ben and I have spent years fucking around like this, reshaping stories and words, making each other laugh.

We have the Drs J & H thing on Facebook too and someone actually thought we were giving advice for real.

eddie wrote:

Syl wrote:


Maybe im not getting it, but I cant see whats controversial about any of it.
You are not disecting the bible or the quran......just some sayings that people have used in a light hearted way for decades.

Because some people are dumb and don’t understand it’s a joke. Ben and I have spent years fucking around like this, reshaping stories and words, making each other laugh.

We have the Drs J & H thing on Facebook too and someone actually thought we were giving advice for real.

Wow

So if people do not get "your" kind of humour they are dumb?

I did not find it funny


Hey ho

No you’re not dumb because you didn’t laugh, you’re dumb because you thought it was “negative”.
Wasn’t just me who didn’t understand your point of view.

Anyway, I’m not spoiling the thread in debate. I prefer humour.

eddie wrote:No you’re not dumb because you didn’t laugh, you’re dumb because you thought it was “negative”.
Wasn’t just me who didn’t understand your point of view.

Anyway, I’m not spoiling the thread in debate. I prefer humour.

I do thinks its silly and negative

I do not see anything funny about it and to be honest really childish

I have a great sense of humour on a great many things and this is not one of them

'Never in a month of Sundays' 

That would be one strange month.