This Is What Happened After A High School Installed An Anonymous Compliment Box

What a completely fucking good idea! I love this.
This should be in every workplace, school and college, everywhere.

Genius.

Good idea, except for those people who go through school in the background and hardly anyone else realises they actually exist, who will think to compliment them I wonder.

Vintage wrote:Good idea, except for those people who go through school in the background and hardly anyone else realises they actually exist, who will think to compliment them I wonder.

A very intuitive teacher.

Cheating a bit though, although I suppose teachers can compliment pupils but shouldn't the other more outgoing pupils be encouraged be more aware and to notice the 'ghosts' and hopefully allow for more interaction and therefore genuine compliments from their peers? American schools seem have a great deal of having to belong to the right crowd thing going on, others then being at best ignored and at worst ridiculed and excluded, it happens here as well of course and hads done for years ainly more by being too engrossed in your own life to be aware of others who are left behind socially for shyness and various other reasons . Everyone can't like or get on with everyone else of course but there seem to still be a lot of children hating going to school because they have no friends there and the experience is never forgotten.

Vintage wrote:Good idea, except for those people who go through school in the background and hardly anyone else realises they actually exist, who will think to compliment them I wonder.

Did you actually watch the video?

Its clear to me at least 2 were clearly people who are in the background and that clearly others do notice them.

Vintage wrote:Cheating a bit though, although I suppose teachers can compliment pupils but shouldn't the other more outgoing pupils be encouraged be more aware and to notice the 'ghosts' and hopefully allow for more interaction and therefore genuine compliments from their peers? American schools seem have a great deal of having to belong to the right crowd thing going on, others then being at best ignored and at worst ridiculed and excluded, it happens here as well of course and hads done for years ainly more by being too engrossed in your own life to be aware of others who are left behind socially for shyness and various other reasons . Everyone can't like or get on with everyone else of course but there seem to still be a lot of children hating going to school because they have no friends there and the experience is never forgotten.

Yes there is many problems students face in school.

So how is something positive like this going to do anything else but help combat some of these problems?

Vintage wrote:Cheating a bit though, although I suppose teachers can compliment pupils but shouldn't the other more outgoing pupils be encouraged be more aware and to notice the 'ghosts' and hopefully allow for more interaction and therefore genuine compliments from their peers? American schools seem have a great deal of having to belong to the right crowd thing going on, others then being at best ignored and at worst ridiculed and excluded, it happens here as well of course and hads done for years ainly more by being too engrossed in your own life to be aware of others who are left behind socially for shyness and various other reasons . Everyone can't like or get on with everyone else of course but there seem to still be a lot of children hating going to school because they have no friends there and the experience is never forgotten.

what about the red haired girl who was told ''you mostly stay silent for fear of saying something wrong but be proud of who you are''. she sounds shy and quiet and yet she got that compliment

Kids should be encouraged more to be positive towards each other rather than bitching.

I think this is really cool for both students and teachers

Didge wrote:

Vintage wrote:Cheating a bit though, although I suppose teachers can compliment pupils but shouldn't the other more outgoing pupils be encouraged be more aware and to notice the 'ghosts' and hopefully allow for more interaction and therefore genuine compliments from their peers? American schools seem have a great deal of having to belong to the right crowd thing going on, others then being at best ignored and at worst ridiculed and excluded, it happens here as well of course and hads done for years ainly more by being too engrossed in your own life to be aware of others who are left behind socially for shyness and various other reasons . Everyone can't like or get on with everyone else of course but there seem to still be a lot of children hating going to school because they have no friends there and the experience is never forgotten.

Yes there is many problems students face in school.

So how is something positive like this going to do anything else but help combat some of these problems?

totally agree didge. students should be encouraged to be positive and to support each other

gelico wrote:

Vintage wrote:Cheating a bit though, although I suppose teachers can compliment pupils but shouldn't the other more outgoing pupils be encouraged be more aware and to notice the 'ghosts' and hopefully allow for more interaction and therefore genuine compliments from their peers? American schools seem have a great deal of having to belong to the right crowd thing going on, others then being at best ignored and at worst ridiculed and excluded, it happens here as well of course and hads done for years ainly more by being too engrossed in your own life to be aware of others who are left behind socially for shyness and various other reasons . Everyone can't like or get on with everyone else of course but there seem to still be a lot of children hating going to school because they have no friends there and the experience is never forgotten.

what about the red haired girl who was told ''you mostly stay silent for fear of saying something wrong but be proud of who you are''.  she sounds shy and quiet and yet she got that compliment

Kids should be encouraged more to be positive towards each other rather than bitching.

I think this is really cool for both students and teachers

+1

Exactly, she was one of the two people I believe are people who Vintage states, are in the background

Her lovely reaction said it all how much that note meant to her.

It is cool Gelico and like I said, it can have a contagious effect.

Vintage wrote:Cheating a bit though, although I suppose teachers can compliment pupils but shouldn't the other more outgoing pupils be encouraged be more aware and to notice the 'ghosts' and hopefully allow for more interaction and therefore genuine compliments from their peers? American schools seem have a great deal of having to belong to the right crowd thing going on, others then being at best ignored and at worst ridiculed and excluded, it happens here as well of course and hads done for years ainly more by being too engrossed in your own life to be aware of others who are left behind socially for shyness and various other reasons . Everyone can't like or get on with everyone else of course but there seem to still be a lot of children hating going to school because they have no friends there and the experience is never forgotten.

It's a charming, well-intended idea, and I'm totally in favor of it's goodness.

But, like you Vintage, I can't help but think to myself: Oh my, the rich will get richer!  What I mean by this is, this is just going to reinforce the status hierarchy of the school: popular kids will get the most praises, and so forth.  Granted, it leaves out the negative commentary, but having only positive commentary will mean that the less popular kids will know who they are by the faint praise they receive (or don't receive).

And I agree that fabricated praise (by a good samaritan or a teacher) will be sussed out and recognized as such.

Original Quill wrote:

Vintage wrote:Cheating a bit though, although I suppose teachers can compliment pupils but shouldn't the other more outgoing pupils be encouraged be more aware and to notice the 'ghosts' and hopefully allow for more interaction and therefore genuine compliments from their peers? American schools seem have a great deal of having to belong to the right crowd thing going on, others then being at best ignored and at worst ridiculed and excluded, it happens here as well of course and hads done for years ainly more by being too engrossed in your own life to be aware of others who are left behind socially for shyness and various other reasons . Everyone can't like or get on with everyone else of course but there seem to still be a lot of children hating going to school because they have no friends there and the experience is never forgotten.

It's a charming, well-intended idea, and I'm totally in favor of it's goodness.

But, like you Vintage, I can't help but think to myself: Oh my, the rich will get richer!  What I mean by this is, this is just going to reinforce the status hierarchy of the school: popular kids will get the most praises, and so forth.  Granted, it leaves out the negative commentary, but having only positive commentary will mean that the less popular kids will know who they are by the faint praise the receive (or don't receive).

And I agree that fabricated praise (by a good samaritan or a teacher) will be sussed out and recognized as such.

The rich will get richer?

WTF

So now only rich kids are popular?

That is a complete load of horseshit.

With an annoymous system?

I am sure this will be used not based on popularity, but the opposite.

Most popular kids are already complimented daily.

Again those with negative minds only see the bad in things, they hardly can see the good.

What matters here is that people are complimented and clearly that is happenning.

Didge wrote:

Original Quill wrote:

It's a charming, well-intended idea, and I'm totally in favor of it's goodness.

But, like you Vintage, I can't help but think to myself: Oh my, the rich will get richer!  What I mean by this is, this is just going to reinforce the status hierarchy of the school: popular kids will get the most praises, and so forth.  Granted, it leaves out the negative commentary, but having only positive commentary will mean that the less popular kids will know who they are by the faint praise the receive (or don't receive).

And I agree that fabricated praise (by a good samaritan or a teacher) will be sussed out and recognized as such.

The rich will get richer?

WTF

So now only rich kids are popular?

That is a complete load of horseshit.

With a annoymous system?

I am sure this will be used not based on popularity, but the opposite.

Most popular kids are already complimented daily.

Again those with negative minds only see the bad in things, they hardly can see the good.

What matters here is that people are complimented

"Rich will get richer" is a metaphor.  It means: those who get rewarded most, by any measure of merit, will continue to get more than their fair share of reward. It has nil to do with money.

Didge, why don't you catch these things? That is such an old, time-worn chlche, that you can't have missed it.

Original Quill wrote:

Didge wrote:


The rich will get richer?

WTF

So now only rich kids are popular?

That is a complete load of horseshit.

With a annoymous system?

I am sure this will be used not based on popularity, but the opposite.

Most popular kids are already complimented daily.

Again those with negative minds only see the bad in things, they hardly can see the good.

What matters here is that people are complimented

"Rich will get richer" is a metaphor.  It means: those who get rewarded most, by any measure of merit, will continue to get more than their fair share.

But this system as seen, sees many people complimented, as its a system of anonymity.

So how are they going to get rewarded most when nobody knows who is giving the compliments?

Like I say, those with a negative mind, never see the positive.

Didge wrote:

Original Quill wrote:

"Rich will get richer" is a metaphor.  It means: those who get rewarded most, by any measure of merit, will continue to get more than their fair share.

But this system as seen, sees many people complimented, as its a system of anonymity.

So how are they going to get rewarded most when nobody knows who is giving the compliments?

Like I say, those with a negative mind, never see the positive.

Reverse engineering. Simple volume of praises.  It's a human instinct.  The system--and this is my point--will not continue to be anonymous, as people will begin to recognize the less popular by the fewer praises.  Even in a system of positive reinforcement, less volume will be seen (rightly so) as repeating the status hierarchy.

Original Quill wrote:

Didge wrote:


But this system as seen, sees many people complimented, as its a system of anonymity.

So how are they going to get rewarded most when nobody knows who is giving the compliments?

Like I say, those with a negative mind, never see the positive.

Reverse engineering.  Simple volume of praises.  It's a human instinct.  The system--and this is my point--will not continue to be anonymous, as people will begin to recognize the less popular by the fewer praises.  Even in a system of positive reinforcement, less volume will be seen (rightly so) as repeating the status hierarchy.

That is just plain gibberish.

As again each person would have to inform others of their compliments for then your view to make any point.

Again its based on anonymity

Thus only those reading this know of the compliments unless they tell others.

As seen even the less popular have gained praise.

Like i say people with a negative mind, only see the negative in everything

Didge wrote:As again each person would have to inform others of their compliments for then your view to make any point.

And you don't think they will? You're not that naive, are you?

Original Quill wrote:

Didge wrote:As again each person would have to inform others of their compliments for then your view to make any point.

And you don't think they will?  You're not that naive, are you?

So they are going to inform every single pupil in school, each and everyone that gains a compliment?

I don;t think anyone with a rational mind, would believe when someone gets an annoymous compliment, they will then inform every student

Like I say, only the negative see the negative in everything

Didge wrote:

Original Quill wrote:

And you don't think they will?  You're not that naive, are you?

So they are going to inform every single pupil in school, each and everyone that gains a compliment?

I don;t think anyone with a rational mind, would believe when someone gets an annoymous compliment, they will then inform every student

Like I say, only the negative see the negative in everything

That's exactly what I mean by, the rich get richer: whether you see it as negative or positive (glass half-full or glass half-empty), the kids will know what is going on.

And really, does it matter if the tally of praises is published? The popular get more praises and they know it. Similarly, the less popular get less praises and they know it. It's just a microcosm of the school as a whole.

Original Quill wrote:

Didge wrote:

So they are going to inform every single pupil in school, each and everyone that gains a compliment?

I don;t think anyone with a rational mind, would believe when someone gets an annoymous compliment, they will then inform every student

Like I say, only the negative see the negative in everything

That's exactly what I mean by, the rich get richer: whether you see it as negative or positive (glass half-full or glass half-empty), the kids will know what is going on.  

And really, does it matter if the tally of praises is published?  The popular get more praises and they know it.  Similarly, the less popular get less praises and they know it.  It's just a microcosm of the school as a whole.

Again gibberish

You are simple making poor assumptions and not based on any reality.

Like I say you looked too negatively at things.

So how will people know who has had praises unless everyone knows? How is that going to happen

Who is to check whether rumours spread are even true?

In other words you are trying and poorly doing so, trying to be nagative about something that is positive.

Only those ruled by negativity think that way.

The point is on people receiving positive compliments.

Not on how many they get, but that people do receive compliments.

Didge wrote:So how will people know who has had praises unless everyone knows? How is that going to happen

Why do they need to know, comparatively?

The popular will know they feel good about themselves; the less-popular will know how they feel, as well. The reward is in reality; you don't need to keep score.

Original Quill wrote:

Didge wrote:So how will people know who has had praises unless everyone knows? How is that going to happen

Why do they need to know, comparatively?  

The popular will know they feel good about themselves; the less-popular will know how they feel, as well.  The reward is in reality; you don't need to keep score.

Its you with the view claiming its is about keeping score.

This is not what this is about, hence why you are so easily confused..

The reward is in being complimented. Its a positive action, which is also contagious, leading those receiving this to then compliment others. The point you clearly lack in understanding.

I think everyone understands the idea but human nature being what it is, its not going to work for those who may really need a boast to their ego. As has been said the popular kids will get the most compliments, they have the most friends, a bit like being 'liked' on twitter etc. Quiet people may get a few compliments but people who barely exist for the majority of people will remain like that. It'll get to be the in thing for the 'in' crowd and their wannbe friends. The one girl knew who had sent the compliment because the writer had said about being their friend that year.

Didge wrote:

Original Quill wrote:

Why do they need to know, comparatively?  

The popular will know they feel good about themselves; the less-popular will know how they feel, as well.  The reward is in reality; you don't need to keep score.

Its you with the view claiming its is about keeping score.

This is not what this is about, hence why you are so easily confused..

The reward is in being complimented. Its a positive action, which is also contagious, leading those receiving this to then compliment others. The point you clearly lack in understanding.

It's you who keeps asking, how will they know? That's keeping score. So it's not me who needs to keep score.

I'm simply saying, if compliments are self-fulfilling, and the popular keep getting self-fulfilled more than the less popular, than the rich get keep getting richer. Forget about anonymity and how they will know.

Vintage wrote:I think everyone understands the idea but human nature being what it is, its not going to work for those who may really need a boast to their ego. As has been said the popular kids will get the most compliments, they have the most friends, a bit like being 'liked' on twitter etc. Quiet people may get a few compliments but people who barely exist for the majority of people will remain like that. It'll get to be the in thing for the 'in' crowd and their wannbe friends. The one girl knew who had sent the compliment because the writer had said about being their friend that year.

So what if the more popular kids get more compliments?
It shows you fail to understand why this is done annoymously.
Kids will compliment their friends daily anyway.
This though has people compliment them in a way that does not happen.
Hence even people shy will get compliments and as seen happened in the video.
It brings a bigger smile to people because they are annoymous.
Its also contagious and helps people who are shy write compliments to people they in public would be unable to do.
It helps break down barriers

Like I say those with a negative mind can never see the positive in something

Vintage wrote:I think everyone understands the idea but human nature being what it is, its not going to work for those who may really need a boast to their ego. As has been said the popular kids will get the most compliments, they have the most friends, a bit like being 'liked' on twitter etc. Quiet people may get a few compliments but people who barely exist for the majority of people will remain like that. It'll get to be the in thing for the 'in' crowd and their wannbe friends. The one girl knew who had sent the compliment because the writer had said about being their friend that year.

That hits the nail on the head, Vintage.

Original Quill wrote:

Vintage wrote:I think everyone understands the idea but human nature being what it is, its not going to work for those who may really need a boast to their ego. As has been said the popular kids will get the most compliments, they have the most friends, a bit like being 'liked' on twitter etc. Quiet people may get a few compliments but people who barely exist for the majority of people will remain like that. It'll get to be the in thing for the 'in' crowd and their wannbe friends. The one girl knew who had sent the compliment because the writer had said about being their friend that year.

That hits the nail on the head, Vintage.  

Really, its was poorly negative as your poor views

Same points to you

So what if the more popular kids get more compliments?
It shows you fail to understand why this is done annoymously.
Kids will compliment their friends daily anyway.
This though has people compliment them in a way that does not happen.
Hence even people shy will get compliments and as seen happened in the video.
It brings a bigger smile to people because they are annoymous.
Its also contagious and helps people who are shy write compliments to people they in public would be unable to do.
It helps break down barriers

Like I say those with a negative mind can never see the positive in something

Didge wrote:

Vintage wrote:I think everyone understands the idea but human nature being what it is, its not going to work for those who may really need a boast to their ego. As has been said the popular kids will get the most compliments, they have the most friends, a bit like being 'liked' on twitter etc. Quiet people may get a few compliments but people who barely exist for the majority of people will remain like that. It'll get to be the in thing for the 'in' crowd and their wannbe friends. The one girl knew who had sent the compliment because the writer had said about being their friend that year.

So what if the more popular kids get more compliments?
It shows you fail to understand why this is done annoymously.
Kids will compliment their friends daily anyway.
This though has people compliment them in a way that does not happen.
Hence even people shy will get compliments and as seen happened in the video.
It brings a bigger smile to people because they are annoymous.
Its also contagious and helps people who are shy write compliments to people they in public would be unable to do.
It helps break down barriers

Like I say those with a negative mind can never see the positive in something

And then it will just break down into a big popularity game.  Ahhh...social life in high school.   Just another way of applauding.

Original Quill wrote:

Didge wrote:

So what if the more popular kids get more compliments?
It shows you fail to understand why this is done annoymously.
Kids will compliment their friends daily anyway.
This though has people compliment them in a way that does not happen.
Hence even people shy will get compliments and as seen happened in the video.
It brings a bigger smile to people because they are annoymous.
Its also contagious and helps people who are shy write compliments to people they in public would be unable to do.
It helps break down barriers

Like I say those with a negative mind can never see the positive in something

And then it will just break down into a big popularity game.  Ahhh...social life in high school.  

Again thinking negatively

How on earth would it be a popularity game?

Only to those who negatively think as you do.

Again this allows children who are shy to compliment people

It allows shy people to be complimented, due to the anonymity.

Its purpose is thus doing good.

You want to believe negatively on this, be my guest, that just sums up how people think negatively and not positively

Didge wrote:

Original Quill wrote:

And then it will just break down into a big popularity game.  Ahhh...social life in high school.  

Again thinking negatively

How on earth would it be a popularity game?

Only to those who negatively think as you do.

Again this allows children who are shy to compliment people

It allows shy people to be complimented, due to the anonymity.

Its purpose is thus doing good.

You want to believe negatively on this, be my guest, that just sums up how people think negatively and not positively

Give it up didge. You've already lost. Only you can't admit it.

Original Quill wrote:

Didge wrote:

Again thinking negatively

How on earth would it be a popularity game?

Only to those who negatively think as you do.

Again this allows children who are shy to compliment people

It allows shy people to be complimented, due to the anonymity.

Its purpose is thus doing good.

You want to believe negatively on this, be my guest, that just sums up how people think negatively and not positively

Give it up didge.  You've already lost.  Only you can't admit it.

So yet more misdirection.

Load of guff...!!!

At first thought it seems like a great idea.
On second thought, the kid who is never picked for the netball or football team, the one who is always left on the bench, will be the one who doesnt get the compliments.
The popular kids allready know they are great, they dont need them......so, sadly, I dont really like the idea.

Quills 'the rich will get richer' comment sums this up imo.

Vintage wrote:I think everyone understands the idea but human nature being what it is, its not going to work for those who may really need a boast to their ego. As has been said the popular kids will get the most compliments, they have the most friends, a bit like being 'liked' on twitter etc. Quiet people may get a few compliments but people who barely exist for the majority of people will remain like that. It'll get to be the in thing for the 'in' crowd and their wannbe friends. The one girl knew who had sent the compliment because the writer had said about being their friend that year.

you make a good point vintage but hopefully the teachers would have already thought that through

it may be that they've already saiid

''guys, take a look around the school. take notice of the people that you wouldn't normally notice. get out of your own bubble and reach out to others who you wouldn't normally reach out to,,,,,OUTSIDE of your own circle of friends''

it doesn't take much really and kids are for the most part open to new ideas. I think, in general, people like doing something nice for others as it also makes us feel good for doing it.

And even if the least popular kid in the school only gets 1 or 2 positive messages, it can still make all the difference as no one knows what is going on in another person's mind. if a few positive words can make a difference to how a person perceives themselves and cause them to think more positively about themselves then that can surely only be a good thing

I hope you are right Gelico, unless young people have changed drastically I doubt it. Having experienced being a ghost for a while and seeing a couple of others being ghosted and bullied, no one even passed the time of day with me at that time, let alone would have thought to compliment me or the others. Once the 'in' crowd have decided you are not worthy, no one in the crowd or hanging on the fringes will dare to go against the code, even amonymously in case they get dropped and in the same boat. In the end the popular kids will get the majority of the compliments as has been said. Young people exist inthe moment for the most part, they don't think things through enough to realise what happens in such circumstances. Nice idea but humans being as they are I doubt the scheme will work as envisaged, especially in the long run.

gelico wrote:

Vintage wrote:I think everyone understands the idea but human nature being what it is, its not going to work for those who may really need a boast to their ego. As has been said the popular kids will get the most compliments, they have the most friends, a bit like being 'liked' on twitter etc. Quiet people may get a few compliments but people who barely exist for the majority of people will remain like that. It'll get to be the in thing for the 'in' crowd and their wannbe friends. The one girl knew who had sent the compliment because the writer had said about being their friend that year.

you make a good point vintage but hopefully the teachers would have already thought that through

it may be that they've already saiid

''guys, take a look around the school.  take notice of the people that you wouldn't normally notice.  get out of your own bubble and reach out to others who you wouldn't normally reach out to,,,,,OUTSIDE of your own circle of friends''

it doesn't take much really and kids are for the most part open to new ideas. I think, in general, people like doing something nice for others as it also makes us feel good for doing it.

And even if the least popular kid in the school only gets 1 or 2 positive messages, it can still make all the difference as no one knows what is going on in another person's mind.  if a few positive words can make a difference to how a person perceives themselves and cause them to think more positively about themselves then that can surely only be a good thing

They should be saying that all along, without need or benefit of a "praise box".  I do agree, gelico, that such encouragement is, or should be the constant theme.  The teachers should encourage friendliness and mutual courtesy toward one another, and especially those less praised.

For, if they do not say that, the "praise box" will become just another popularity contest.

gelico wrote:

Vintage wrote:I think everyone understands the idea but human nature being what it is, its not going to work for those who may really need a boast to their ego. As has been said the popular kids will get the most compliments, they have the most friends, a bit like being 'liked' on twitter etc. Quiet people may get a few compliments but people who barely exist for the majority of people will remain like that. It'll get to be the in thing for the 'in' crowd and their wannbe friends. The one girl knew who had sent the compliment because the writer had said about being their friend that year.

you make a good point vintage but hopefully the teachers would have already thought that through

it may be that they've already saiid

''guys, take a look around the school.  take notice of the people that you wouldn't normally notice.  get out of your own bubble and reach out to others who you wouldn't normally reach out to,,,,,OUTSIDE of your own circle of friends''

it doesn't take much really and kids are for the most part open to new ideas. I think, in general, people like doing something nice for others as it also makes us feel good for doing it.

And even if the least popular kid in the school only gets 1 or 2 positive messages, it can still make all the difference as no one knows what is going on in another person's mind.  if a few positive words can make a difference to how a person perceives themselves and cause them to think more positively about themselves then that can surely only be a good thing

Agreed Gelico

At the end of the day this allows people who do not feel confident to post compliments to people

Where before this how many would receive daily compliments compared to after this was introduced.

People are simple going off the negative to dislike something that has far more benefits than negatives here.

There will be loads of kids who won't get any, so teachers will just add a load of made up ones, so everyone is a winner etc...


Just a load of guff... and another excuse to blow a load of smoke up many undeserving arses...

Ah more negativity and yet more assumptions.

Come off it Didge... do you seriously think that there wouldn't be any without any genuine 'compliments' at all...?


And that teachers wouldn't then add a load of made up ones just so everyone got a bit of smoke blown up their arse...?

Tommy Monk wrote:Come off it Didge... do you seriously think that there wouldn't be any without any genuine 'compliments' at all...?


And that teachers wouldn't then add a load of made up ones just so everyone got a bit of smoke blown up their arse...?

Have you actually watched the video.??

All you need to see is how it makes people feel.

Did any question where the compliments came from?

No

The reality is people fail to see this does loads of good in making people feel good.

How many had compliments before this?

So if more had than before.

How is that a bad thing?