What does 'inner success' mean?

My son is doing a presentation tomorrow as part of his English language mock exam.
The topic was "anything thought-provoking" and his choice of topic was
"What does 'inner success' mean?"

I sat and chatted to him about it for ages, very interesting topic.
Any thoughts, before I give mine?

Self confidence first.

The ability to learn because you want to ie not because anyone else thinks you should.

Ability to learn from your mistakes.

Can probably think of a miilion more but hope these help

being happy in yourself

and I think thats it.

If you have that, everything else will turn out fine
and most other things just depend on the person.

Good topic....to me inner success is contentment, which comes from within.
You can have a little...or a lot, but if you are content with whatever you have in life....you have made it..

Similar to the others; feeling that you are happy/satisfied with how things have turned out or continue to turn out. Not letting yourself be negatively affected when somethinh doesn't turn out as expected.

"Success on someone else's terms don't mean a fuckin' thing" - - Old 97s

eddie wrote:My son is doing a presentation tomorrow as part of his English language mock exam.
The topic was "anything thought-provoking" and his choice of topic was
"What does 'inner success' mean?"

I sat and chatted to him about it for ages, very interesting topic.
Any thoughts, before I give mine?

When I taught at Rutgers University, I had a very similar inspiration for a final class project (in lieu of a boring paper).  I told the students that they could do a project that commented on any political idea, in any way, in any medium.  I had some wonderfully creative students...one wrote a one-act play and performed it, another who was a photographer did photos of New Brunswick showing 150-years of development and growth, several wrote songs and poems.  But one I remember was a kid who took his Brownie camera down to the Duck Pond on the Douglas Campus and shot the ducks...his thesis was that the black ducks always seemed to follow the white ducks.

What could I do?  I asked for it.

In response to the question: I have no idea what inner success is, and how it differs from 'other' successes.  I like to cook...and when I like what I cook, maybe that's inner success?  

I'll try and post up my son's finished document later.

It will be interesting...did any of the comments here give him any ideas Eddie?

Syl wrote:It will be interesting...did any of the comments here give him any ideas Eddie?

Well...but that wouldn't be 'inner'.

Original Quill wrote:

Syl wrote:It will be interesting...did any of the comments here give him any ideas Eddie?

Well...but that wouldn't be 'inner'.

It could be...sometimes people can say something and then you can realise that you feel that emotion also...inner or outer.

Actually, it's quite a hard question for a youngster to answer. From my own memories of being very young, feelings of inner success usually amounted to basics like friendships, how I had done at school that day, and what I was having for tea.

Inner peace, contentment and happy in your own skin.  Basically you don't need the approval of others.

sassy wrote:Inner peace, contentment and happy in your own skin.  Basically you don't need the approval of others.

Very true.

But how many of us really do this?

Aren't us humans always after someone's approval? Be it parents , siblings or partners. We all want to better ourselves and need approval or reassurance from others!

Sorry going off topic now!

You're not off topic at all SM. In fact you've hit upon something that many of us don't see as being relevant to inner success (or happiness) as whilst we are always looking for approval, we won't find our own inner success.

SEXY MAMA wrote:

sassy wrote:Inner peace, contentment and happy in your own skin.  Basically you don't need the approval of others.

Very true.

But how many of us really do this?

Aren't us humans always after someone's approval? Be it parents , siblings or partners. We all want to better ourselves and need approval or reassurance from others!

Sorry going off topic now!

Maybe it's because I'm older, but I've found that trying to get people's approval can actually hold you back.   The only person who needs to approve it is you.   If you think it is right, if it sits right with your conscience and does not hurt anyone else, that's all you need.

eddie wrote:You're not off topic at all SM. In fact you've hit upon something that many of us don't see as being relevant to inner success (or happiness) as whilst we are always looking for approval, we won't find our own inner success.

Thanks Eddie

I think inner success comes at a price of being selfish. Whilst one should always strive for inner happiness just not at the expense of others. Am I making sense?

sassy wrote:

SEXY MAMA wrote:

Very true.

But how many of us really do this?

Aren't us humans always after someone's approval? Be it parents , siblings or partners. We all want to better ourselves and need approval or reassurance from others!

Sorry going off topic now!

Maybe it's because I'm older, but I've found that trying to get people's approval can actually hold you back.   The only person who needs to approve it is you.   If you think it is right, if it sits right with your conscience and does not hurt anyone else, that's all you need.

what if it's only right for you though? Would if something makes you really happy but hurts others?

SEXY MAMA wrote:

sassy wrote:


Maybe it's because I'm older, but I've found that trying to get people's approval can actually hold you back.   The only person who needs to approve it is you.   If you think it is right, if it sits right with your conscience and does not hurt anyone else, that's all you need.

what if it's only right for you though? Would if something makes you really happy but hurts others?

Think you missed that lol

SEXY MAMA wrote:

eddie wrote:You're not off topic at all SM. In fact you've hit upon something that many of us don't see as being relevant to inner success (or happiness) as whilst we are always looking for approval, we won't find our own inner success.

Thanks Eddie

I think inner success comes at a price of being selfish. Whilst one should always strive for inner happiness just not at the expense of others. Am I making sense?

I get you but you do have to be slightly selfish, whilst trying not to hurt others. A fine balance, but you're not responsible for others' happiness because then they are putting an emotional attachment on to you.

Thought this rather appropriate

eddie wrote:

SEXY MAMA wrote:

Thanks Eddie

I think inner success comes at a price of being selfish. Whilst one should always strive for inner happiness just not at the expense of others. Am I making sense?

I get you but you do have to be slightly selfish, whilst trying not to hurt others. A fine balance, but you're not responsible for others' happiness because then they are putting an emotional attachment on to you.

I don't think being selfish is a bad thing, though--I mean, like sassy, if it doesn't harm another. I've always said to myself that there is inevitably selfishness in ego, and a great ego is necessary to achieve great things. Hey...if you don't THINK big, you won't BE big.

regarding selfishness
I think like all things it is a balance
one will have problems if they are either too selfish or too selfless.

you still need to be selfish enough to have gotten and keep yourself in the position to give. if you are too selfless you will end up with nothing and relying on charity yourself.

When you're not selfish enough, you can get left behind.

SEXY MAMA wrote:

eddie wrote:You're not off topic at all SM. In fact you've hit upon something that many of us don't see as being relevant to inner success (or happiness) as whilst we are always looking for approval, we won't find our own inner success.

Thanks Eddie

I think inner success comes at a price of being selfish. Whilst one should always strive for inner happiness just not at the expense of others. Am I making sense?

Total sense.
If your success comes at the expense of hurting others you may have material goods and a successful lifestyle, but I think you can have all the money in the world and not find success within yourself, though to the outside world you are 'living the dream'...as they say.
To me inner and outer success are two totally different things.

sassy wrote:

SEXY MAMA wrote:

what if it's only right for you though? Would if something makes you really happy but hurts others?

Think you missed that lol

But what if you did hurt someone in the process is what I meant! Sorry should have been a bit clearer.

SEXY MAMA wrote:

sassy wrote:


Think you missed that lol

But what if you did hurt someone in the process is what I meant! Sorry should have been a bit clearer.

Let's turn that on it's head.   What if NOT doing what you think is right hurts you?   You are as important as anyone else and if you don't look after you, you can't look after anyone else.   Give you an IRL example.  OH and I are going away for Christmas while my brother and his wife look after my Dad and our dog.   Now, I know my Dad would much rather we didn't go.   However, it's the only chance we have to get away for quite some time and I have to make sure I keep some energy and we have some time to ourselves to keep our relationship good, or we're not going to be able to look after him over the next few months.   Sometimes, being selfish is the only way you can make sure you are not selfish if you see what I mean.

That's not selfish Sassy.
Putting your dad in a home and forgetting about him, or leaving someone else in the family to care for him all the time, just showing up every so often with a cheery smile, or begrudging what you do for him instead of doing it with love....that's selfish.

Thanks Syl, but I think Dad thinks it's a bit selfish, but he's coming round to it.   Made sure I've got plents of nice stuff in the cupboards and freezer and brother and wife are going to make life easy for themselves and pick up loads of stuff from M&S so they don't have a lot of preparation.

I do not how anyone could leave their father under such circumstances, I couldn't, I would put it off, not that I would have set it up in the first place.
There will be plently of time for going away one day.

Is this the gentleman who FLEW SPITFIRES? in WW2?????

And I care what you think - why?   Fuck off.

Major wrote:I do not how anyone could leave their father under such circumstances, I couldn't, I would put it off, not that I would have set it up in the first place.
There will be plently of time for going away one day.

Is this the gentleman who FLEW SPITFIRES? in WW2?????

Well we are all different aren't we? I don't think sassy is being selfish at all but then, I know her better than you do and understand her life better.
Also, you're just trying to have a cheap dig and it's very unbecoming.

eddie wrote:

Major wrote:I do not how anyone could leave their father under such circumstances, I couldn't, I would put it off, not that I would have set it up in the first place.
There will be plently of time for going away one day.

Is this the gentleman who FLEW SPITFIRES? in WW2?????

Well we are all different aren't we? I don't think sassy is being selfish at all but then, I know her better than you do and understand her life better.


Also, you're just trying to have a cheap dig and it's very unbecoming.  

You only know what she tells you eddie unless you are clairvoyant.

I wrote a kind reply as I understand her alleged dicky mint..

I am asking if this is the gentleman who flew spitfires during WW2, I admire these pilots.
I find it odd that such pilots are still alive, don't you?

If you look around your forum eddie cheap digs as you call them pale into insignificance when far far worse are made by the usual suspects almost hourly, daily yet you pick and choose to comment on the tame ones, smacks of favouritism to me.

sassy wrote:Thanks Syl, but I think Dad thinks it's a bit selfish, but he's coming round to it.   Made sure I've got plents of nice stuff in the cupboards and freezer and brother and wife are going to make life easy for themselves and pick up loads of stuff from M&S so they don't have a lot of preparation.

Thinking back to when my mum was alive, she also (in the last few years) didn't like me going away Sassy. Like you I made sure she had everything she needed, plus she was in good hands, but she was always glad and relieved when we came back home.
We never went for more than a week at a time....but the break did us good.
Plus, you have a husband as well as a Dad....and it may seem selfish to some, but you have to live your life too. x

I am so thankful for my dear OH.  We only met 8 yrs ago and he has seen me through some of the worst times of my life.   He gave up his job to come and look after Dad with me, and it was really difficult for him giving up our home and trying to cope with retirement and living in Dad's house.   I tell him every day, he's my hero and I love him to bits.

Syl wrote:

sassy wrote:Thanks Syl, but I think Dad thinks it's a bit selfish, but he's coming round to it.   Made sure I've got plents of nice stuff in the cupboards and freezer and brother and wife are going to make life easy for themselves and pick up loads of stuff from M&S so they don't have a lot of preparation.

Thinking back to when my mum was alive, she also (in the last few years) didn't like me going away Sassy. Like you I made sure she had everything she needed, plus she was in good hands, but she was always glad and relieved when we came back home.
We never went for more than a week at a time....but the break did us good.
Plus, you have a husband as well as a Dad....and it may seem selfish to some, but you have to live your life too. x

It appears the poor old chap will be left alone for long periods, is this right?

What part of 'my brother and his wife are coming to look after him' didn't you understand dickhead.   He is never left alone and never will be.

sassy wrote:I am so thankful for my dear OH.  We only met 8 yrs ago and he has seen me through some of the worst times of my life.   He gave up his job to come and look after Dad with me, and it was really difficult for him giving up our home and trying to cope with retirement and living in Dad's house.   I tell him every day, he's my hero and I love him to bits.

I understand completely. My OH was my rock for all the years I was losing my Mum....it can be a very slow process seeing someone be taken away by dementia, especially when they don't seem to go down the route the 'experts' expect them to.
It's probably one of the hardest things you will ever do, trying to do your best for the parent you love and has always loved you.
I really believe the bond you and your OH share through this will never be broken.

Mind you Sassy....if you have been together only 8 years you are still in the honeymoon stage of life.

I don't think we ever got the chance of a 'honeymoon stage'.  We'd only been together for 6 weeks when I was hopitalised for 6 weeks and took 3 months to recover, then the real shit began!

sassy wrote:I don't think we ever got the chance of a 'honeymoon stage'.  We'd only been together for 6 weeks when I was hopitalised for 6 weeks and took 3 months to recover, then the real shit began!

The rotten times always pass though don't they....then you appreciate the good times more than ever.

True, always say you don't appreciate the good if you haven't had the bad.   Mind you, a bit more good wouldn't go amiss.

To me "inner success" means the well being of my family, putting another log on the burner and taking a long reflective glug of mulled wine.

I like that Scrat!

sassy wrote:What part of 'my brother and his wife are coming to look after him' didn't you understand dickhead.   He is never left alone and never will be.

I will be eternally grateful if you will be so kind and SHOW THE EXACT QUOTE, about your brother and wife coming to look after him.
Thank you.

Re: What does 'inner success' mean?

 by sassy Today at 7:30 pm

SEXY MAMA wrote:

sassy wrote:


Think you missed that lol

But what if you did hurt someone in the process is what I meant! Sorry should have been a bit clearer.

Let's turn that on it's head.   What if NOT doing what you think is right hurts you?   You are as important as anyone else and if you don't look after you, you can't look after anyone else.   Give you an IRL example.  OH and I are going away for Christmas while my brother and his wife look after my Dad and our dog.   Now, I know my Dad would much rather we didn't go.   However, it's the only chance we have to get away for quite some time and I have to make sure I keep some energy and we have some time to ourselves to keep our relationship good, or we're not going to be able to look after him over the next few months.   Sometimes, being selfish is the only way you can make sure you are not selfish if you see what I mean.



Now Major, I have pandered to your affliction for the last time.   You make one more remark about my family and believe me, you will regret it.

You put your father, brother, sister inlaw up on a debate, chat forum so if anyone wishes to join in you cannot stop them.

BTW, you are not allowed to threaten a forum member, eddie said so earlier on a thread.

Major wrote:You put your father, brother, sister inlaw up on a debate, chat forum so if anyone wishes to join in you cannot stop them.

BTW, you are not allowed to threaten a forum member, eddie said so earlier on a thread.

On your own head be it.

Major shut the fuck up. This isn't a debate where you get to argue your point of view vehemently, this is a poster giving facts about their life.

So shut it. There's no need for any crap.

eddie wrote:Major shut the fuck up. This isn't a debate where you get to argue your point of view vehemently, this is a poster giving facts about their life.

So shut it. There's no need for any crap.

HOW doest thou know they are facts, anyone can say anything.

fairness for all eddie,

This is an open debate.

I thought mods were supposed to be impartial.

I would not be surprised if she said she used to kick start zeppelins, you would believe her.

Major wrote:

eddie wrote:Major shut the fuck up. This isn't a debate where you get to argue your point of view vehemently, this is a poster giving facts about their life.

So shut it. There's no need for any crap.

HOW doest thou know they are facts, anyone can say anything.

fairness for all eddie,

This is an open debate.

I thought mods were supposed to be impartial.

I would not be surprised if she said she used to kick start zeppelins, you would believe her.

Major, eddie is giving you good advice and it may be a good idea to take it.

STFU major....