Seven perfect moments in history to stop the clocks

History is, for the most part, a catalogue of disasters – and it would be a lot more boring if it wasn’t. But there are times when you can’t help but wish that the people living through those events had had the ability to press a button and stop time for a bit. Here’s my personal choice of seven moments in history when somebody should have frozen the clocks.

Before the cancellation of Christmas

Oliver Cromwell is often cast as the Grinch in this story, but the outlawing of Christmas began in England even before the Civil War ended. Wassailing, over-eating and extra days off work all went out of the window during the 1640s as an increasingly Puritan parliament decreed that festivals were incompatible with proper Christian worship, and by 1647 the clergy had even been banned from mentioning Christmas in their sermons. It might have been better to have stopped time back in the era of Henry VIII - there was a man who could make Christmas last for several weeks.

Before the Great Fire of London 

The Great Fire of 1666 destroyed more than 13,000 houses and many more buildings in one of the oldest parts of London. The most famous casualty was the original St Paul’s Cathedral, parts of which dated back to the reign of William the Conqueror. The fire was hot enough to melt the cathedral’s lead roof and send the molten lead flowing down the streets. It was caused by neglected ovens in a bakery in Pudding Lane; if only time had been stopped before the fatal sparks set the wooden walls alight, much of London’s glorious medieval architecture would have been preserved.
A moment in history: if only time could of stopped before sparks set London alight Credit: Getty

Before the Shakespeare Jubilee of 1769 

In the midst of current Shakespeare celebrations, it’s wise to remember how badly these things can go wrong. David Garrick, the greatest actor of the 18th century, organised a jubilee celebration in Stratford-upon-Avon that turned into a catalogue of disasters: Dr Johnson boycotted it, the Stratford locals were hostile to the illustrious visitors, and torrential rain ruined the parades and caused a wall to collapse, injuring the main VIP, Lord Carlisle. Garrick, who never went back to Stratford and would refer to the event ever after as “my folly”, would no doubt wish that somebody had stopped time before he ever got started.
What a washout: this celebration turned into a catalogue of disaters Credit: Getty

Before the end of Little Nell 

Charles Dickens published his novel The Old Curiosity Shop in weekly instalments, and his readers became frenzied with anticipation as to whether his virtuous young heroine Little Nell would survive her misadventures. When the ship carrying the final instalment arrived in New York in November 1841, the piers were stormed by readers yelling “Is Little Nell alive?” Alas, she wasn’t, and there was national mourning on both sides of the Atlantic. How much heartache would be saved if only time could be stopped every time an author decides to bump off a much-loved character.
A note to authors: save us all heartache and keep these much-loved characters alive Credit: Getty

Before the invention of the telephone

When Alexander Graham Bell developed the telephone in the 1870s, the chief engineer of the Post Office declared that it was not needed in Britain because “we have plenty of messenger boys”. How right he was. If only time had been stopped before the advent of the phone, generations would have been spared that dreadful shrill noise bossily ordering us to abandon whatever we were doing. And although mobiles may be quieter, we could all do without phone-fixated folk barging into us in the street, or our friends using them to bore us with pictures of whatever they’re having for lunch.
Detox from tech: the telephone is an invention we could all do without sometimes Credit: Getty

Before the break-up of the Beatles 

Some people would choose the moment before Robbie left Take That or Zayn said farewell to One Direction, but surely nothing in the history of pop has ever been as devastating as the acrimonious break-up of the Fab Four. John Lennon wanted out first, but contract negotiations meant he kept his departure secret and Paul McCartney was the first to quit the band publicly in April 1970. Millions of Beatlemaniacs would have been desperate to stop time rather than let this happen, and judging by most of the Beatles’ solo projects, they would have been right to.
Beatlemania: this is a break up that will go down in history

Before the theft of the Jules Rimet trophy 

Many people would choose to stop time to prevent the biggest sporting crime of the 20th century. The Jules Rimet trophy, awarded to the winners of the World Cup and named after the tournament’s founding father, was first stolen while on display in London in 1966 but happily sniffed out by a dog called Pickles in time for England’s victory at Wembley. Brazil were allowed to keep the trophy after their third victory in 1970, but it was stolen in Rio de Janeiro in 1983, and sadly no detectives - or even dogs - have been able to recover it.


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Not sure I agree with all the choices. and think it would have been very stagnated to stay in an era after a few decades. As it is change that does bring about the best in people at times.
Though can people think of era's they would have liked to have lived in.?

wow, not give the slightest shit about any of them, highly unimaginative and Eurocentric

how about South America before the Spaniards? Or even better with the first men to go there (still the giant sloths and mega fauna)

Australia while there was still the inland sea.

Baghdad before the Mongols raised it.

Pre Christian Rome when the Coliseum had a statue in every archway

The anniversary of the death of Arthur
Bomber Harris the clocks should stop.