Cowboy and Indian

The Cowboy Animal Whisperer Meets an Apache Indian Sheepherder
       
Cowboy: "That your dog?"

Indian: "Yep."

Cowboy: "Mind if I speak to him?"

Indian: "Dog no talk."

Cowboy: "Hey dog, how's it going?"

Dog: "Doin' all right."

Indian: (Look of shock!)

Cowboy: "Is this Indian your owner?" (Pointing at the Indian...)

Dog: "Yep."

Cowboy: "How's he treating you?"

Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play.."

Indian: (Look of total disbelief)

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"

Indian: "Horse no talk."

Cowboy: "Hey horse, how's it going?"

Horse: "Cool."

Indian: (Extreme look of shock!)

Cowboy: "Is this your owner?" (Pointing to the Indian...)

Horse: "Yep."

Cowboy: "How's he treating you?"

Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking, he rides me, brushes me down often and keeps me in a lean-to to protect me from the weather."

Indian: (Look of total amazement)

Cowboy: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"

Indian: "Sheep lie."

This is something to think about when negative people
are doing their best to rain on your parade…
So remember this story the next time …



A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband..

She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're mad to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking British Airways," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"BA?" exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it’s going to be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Anyway, good luck on this poxy trip of yours. You'll need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of BA's brand new planes, it was overbooked but they upgraded us to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a £5 million refurbishment, and now it's the best hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologised and gave us their honeymoon suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.."

"Oh, really! What'd he say?"


He said: "Who f…ked up your hair?"





.....now if you got a laugh out of this please pass it on to someone else...I did....still laughing...

Brilliant 

Miffs2 wrote:Brilliant 

I was a bit hesitant Miffs incase I got banned for offending a Indian and an animal.
I am restricted on jokes even when they come from the TV.

I luv a laff, exercising my chuckul mussulz.

I did hear Stormee!

I can sympathise, I got banned from a forum because of a sheep shagging comment 

* Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

He died.

* Knock, knock.

- Who's there?

To.

- To who?

To whom.

* Why did the chicken take peyote?

To get to the other side.

* A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Stormee wrote:

Miffs2 wrote:Brilliant 

I was a bit hesitant Miffs incase I got banned for offending a Indian and an animal.
I am restricted on jokes even when they come from the TV.

I luv a laff, exercising my chuckul mussulz.

The hairdresser one was cute, but I was already wondering why she would go back.