The Department of Whopping Porkies is rebuked as claimants suddenly develop mysterious superpowers after being sanctioned

We all know that the Tory welfare “reforms” are the gift that just keeps on giving. Various people from an alternative universe where benefit sanctions and starvation actually work to motivate have told us so. I think in that universe was you can see Skinner and Pavlov’s house.
I digress.
My recent benefit sanction really worked wonders. I was so delighted to be chosen for this special treatment by the government, and for no reason in particular. I really don’t deserve it. I have now developed super powers as a result, and a liking for hospital food. Every time I have a hypoglycemic attack coz I have no food, and a bout of Raynaud’s because I’ve no electricity or gas, hey presto, I get rushed into hospital where I can eat and eat until my belly is full. And there’s even heating! I couldn’t manage that with my benefit. And no worries about becoming homeless now I have a near-permanent bed. My life is transformed!
Here are some more lucky people who have been touched by extraordinary life-changing experiences through the multi-dimensional DWP:

   BoycottWorkfare ‏@boycottworkfare Aug 20  Cthulhu’s story: I was sleeping for aeons in the lost city of R’lyeh, until I was sanctioned. Thanks! #fakeDWPstories 
  Nick ‏@Mylegalforum Aug 18  Here’s the #DWP‘s best case study by far…. Meet Iain…. #fakeDWPstories

 Nick ‏@Mylegalforum Aug 18  More amazing case studies from the #DWP. Bill & Ben, their story is a real example to us all! #fakeDWPstories  MozforEveryOccasion ‏@MozOccasions Aug 19 Shame on the government for using #fakeDWPstories. Perhaps they should try featuring #realDWPstories, like Steven’s. gareth evans ‏@gareth0108 Aug 18  Poor old Walter’s story is even more heart breaking #fakeDWPstories Steve Cheney ‏@RadarNvrSleeps #fakeDWPstories – Since sanctions forced me to go on the game, I have gained new confidence in my naked body! IDS is Gok Wan for povs!
Ian Jones ‏@edwinmandella Aug 18 Wargrave, England #fakeDWPstories After the DWP convinced me my brain damage was “all in my head” I have learnt to apply germoline up my nose to fix my brain.

  Ian Beckett ‏@ian_beckett Aug 21
Who News: Benefit breakthrough on an intergalactic scale! #fakeDWPstories

BoycottWorkfare ‏@boycottworkfare Aug 21  And now the REAL fictional characters are speaking out… #fakeDWPstories #GameOfThrones
Jon Swindon ‏@swindon81 Aug 18
Without my non-intrusive Work Capability Assessment I would never have known my Parkinson’s diagnosis was merely a cold. #fakeDWPstories
And my favorite tribute to the great innovator:

Of course, Iain Duncan Smith tells a great success story. For example, there’s the lie account of his education and qualifications, as stated in his biography on the Conservative Party website, his entry in Who’s Who, and various other places, which make the claim that he went to the Universita di Perugia in Italy. In an alternative universe, unfortunately, Mr Duncan Smith’s office has been forced to explain to Newsnight researchers investigating his academic background that he didn’t get any qualifications in Perugia, or even finish his exams. His statements about the qualifications are simply examples of his remarkable superpowers. And his multi-lives and superpowers of trans-dimensional travel.
It was also claimed that he was “educated at Dunchurch College of Management”. In fact, Dunchurch was the former staff college for GEC Marconi, for whom he worked in the 1980s. Mr Duncan Smith’s office was forced to admit said that that he did not get any qualifications there either, in this universe, but that he completed six separate courses lasting a few days each, adding up to about a month in total. See what I mean? Extraordinary  superpowers! (See Newsnight reveals ‘inaccuracies’ in Iain Duncan Smith’s CV ). It’s easy to see why Mr Duncan Smith has made it his very own superpower campaign to “monitor” the BBC for “left-wing bias.”
 


https://kittysjones.wordpress.com/2015/08/24/the-department-of-whopping-porkies-is-rebuked-as-claimants-suddenly-develop-mysterious-superpowers-after-being-sanctioned/


And of course IDS knew nothing about the lies on the pamphlets, not a dick bird, they did it all without his permission!!!!!   If you believe that as the saying goes.

That was really funny to read

Made me giggle lol

sassy wrote:Made me giggle lol

every time i read "reek" i can`t help laughing

What a stinker eh!  Hope he doesn't need to type after that

Sassy you twat... the job centre and DWP staff are almost exclusively lefties and labour supporters... it is them who run the every day stuff like the publicity posters etc...


It is also pretty clear that lefties like to group up in many other organisations to cause unnecessary trouble so as to then be able to start complaining with their 'it was the Tory's what done it' bollocks!


Idiots like you jump on this childish band wagon thinking what fun it is to cause so much disruption at the general expense of the people you pretend to care about...!!!


Quite pathetic really... and thankfully most people can see your bullshit for what it is... that's why you got tonked in the election!!!

Of course they are Tommy!  That's the biggest DOH I've seen in a long time.

So you are saying that IDS does all the posters and job centre publicity stuff himself...!?