Man shocked by girlfriend's baby name choice - but she doesn't see a problem

by eddie Sat Feb 23, 2019 12:14 am

An expectant mum has picked out the perfect name for her son, including a middle name that means a lot to her, but there's just one problem with it.

The name she wants to use is special because it belonged to her ex-boyfriend who passed away, and it's fair to say her current boyfriend isn't feeling all that good about it.

In a post on Reddit, the dad-to-be, asked the good people of the internet whether he was an "a**hole* for not wanting to name his son after his girlfriend's ex.

He wrote: "My girlfriend and I are expecting our first born son.

"The other night when discussing names, she said she would like his middle name to be that of her ex, who died. Saying further that it would mean a lot to his family who she is still close with."

The unnamed man said the name would make him "really uncomfortable" and he didn't want to do it, but his partner didn't see a problem with it.

He continued: "I don't want to tell people, especially my son, that he is partly named after another man who his mum loved before me.

"She said, 'Why can't you say he is named after my friend who died? We weren't even together when he died'."

To make matters more complicated, the ex died of a drug overdose, and the dad doesn't want to have to tell his child that fact either.

He finished his post by saying he felt it was "pretty s*****" of his girlfriend to ask him to do this in the first place.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/man-shocked-girlfriends-baby-name-14037941

What do you all think? Bit of a tough one.

by Ben Reilly Sat Feb 23, 2019 12:19 am

Well, the guy should get over it, I think. For one, he doesn't have to worry that it's about how she still loves her ex, seeing as they were broken up before he died.

And of course they don't have to explain to the kid, or anybody else, that the ex was a drug addict.

by HoratioTarr Sat Feb 23, 2019 12:34 am

This guy needs to get over his ego. The ex died. It's not like he's a threat, and she obviously loved him. You can't stop people loving other people.

by eddie Sat Feb 23, 2019 12:39 am

But!
What’s the ex got to do with her new life and baby?

by Tommy Monk Sat Feb 23, 2019 1:47 am

Girlfriend is a bitch...!!!

How would she like it if the dad insisted on naming their daughter after one of his ex girlfriends...!!!???

Yeah... I'm sure that would happen...!!!

by Syl Sat Feb 23, 2019 1:55 am

I think it's a lovely idea.
It'll be the babys middle name not the name he will go by.....I dont see the problem.
In answer to Tommy, had my OH loved and lost a woman before he had met me, and had he wanted to give our child a middle name in memory of her, I dont think it would have mattered to me, it's a nice gesture.

by Original Quill Sat Feb 23, 2019 3:16 am

eddie wrote:But!
What’s the ex got to do with her new life and baby?

And what if the kid was sired by the dead bf? Someone should be counting fingers, here.

by Guest Sat Feb 23, 2019 5:33 am

I see two sides to this

One where i dont see an issue here.
A second name, is something we never hardly ever use accept on formal documents. It clearly means something to the mother. Where you could argue the father to be, is being a tad jealous. All the parents need say is that he is named after a friend, which is true of course, this person was a frien to the mother.

Howver

They did seperate and is this more guilt that he did die over an overdose by the mother wanting to name the child after him?

Its not exactly placing closure on that past relationship, where they did clearly break up. Though it does not specifiy, whether he died whilst they were still going out. So if he died whilst they were together. You can understand her wanting a part of him being remembered in a way.

My view, is the expectant father is over reacting

by nicko Sat Feb 23, 2019 6:19 am

My view is the same as Quill's, count the days !

by eddie Sat Feb 23, 2019 12:27 pm

I don’t want a child of mine having a name anywhere within its names, of someone I didn’t know, didn’t love or don’t give a crap about.
Simple really.

by Guest Sat Feb 23, 2019 12:29 pm

eddie wrote:I don’t want a child of mine having a name anywhere within its names, of someone I didn’t know, didn’t love or don’t give a crap about.
Simple really.

But not everyone is you Eddie

by Syl Sat Feb 23, 2019 12:29 pm

Presumably there is no chance the baby could have anything to do with the dead ex.....I'm sure the dad to be would have mentioned it if he had doubts.

I dont get this jealousy of the dead. It's like when a present spouse objects to their dead partners past loves coming to the funeral.....why?

If someone has been loved surely the ones who loved that person should come together when that person dies.

by eddie Sat Feb 23, 2019 12:45 pm

It wouldn’t be jealousy on my part, it’d be indifference.

If my partner wanted to have their deceased parent’s name or close relative I’d probably consider it.
But a dead ex-boyfriend? Nah. Not for me.

by Raggamuffin Sat Feb 23, 2019 12:47 pm

I think he's right. Plenty of people call their children names which have no meaning to them - ie, they don't call them names of other people. They choose names they like. It's his baby, not the ex boyfriend's. He won't have much choice though as she will call the baby what she wants.

by Syl Sat Feb 23, 2019 12:50 pm

If he really objects I dont think she should name the baby after her dead ex....she is with a living man now and is making a family with him.

But I dont really understand his jealousy, because thats what it sounds like to me.

by Raggamuffin Sat Feb 23, 2019 12:52 pm

Syl wrote:If he really objects I dont think she should name the baby after her dead ex....she is with a living man now and is making a family with him.

But I dont really understand his jealousy, because thats what it sounds like to me.

It doesn't matter whether it's jealousy or not. It's unbelievable that she even considered it. I don't why some people go out of their way to piss off their partners.

by Syl Sat Feb 23, 2019 12:59 pm

Raggamuffin wrote:
Syl wrote:If he really objects I dont think she should name the baby after her dead ex....she is with a living man now and is making a family with him.

But I dont really understand his jealousy, because thats what it sounds like to me.

It doesn't matter whether it's jealousy or not. It's unbelievable that she even considered it. I don't why some people go out of their way to piss off their partners.

Sounds like jealousy to me, would he be bothered if she wanted to give the baby the middle name of her dad or favourite uncle.
However I agree, if he has made his feelings clear (to her I mean...not to strangers on Reddit) she should consider his feelings, it's his baby too.

by Guest Sat Feb 23, 2019 1:01 pm

Raggamuffin wrote:
Syl wrote:If he really objects I dont think she should name the baby after her dead ex....she is with a living man now and is making a family with him.

But I dont really understand his jealousy, because thats what it sounds like to me.

It doesn't matter whether it's jealousy or not. It's unbelievable that she even considered it. I don't why some people go out of their way to piss off their partners.

That is your view, others disagree and see nothing wrong here

I mean why would he actually be pissed off, when he is now with here having a child

Its something she feels strongly about and he does not

That is just one of the first sure signs, that relationship is going to fail

As they will need to find common ground

by Raggamuffin Sat Feb 23, 2019 1:04 pm

Syl wrote:
Raggamuffin wrote:

It doesn't matter whether it's jealousy or not. It's unbelievable that she even considered it. I don't why some people go out of their way to piss off their partners.

Sounds like jealousy to me, would he be bothered if she wanted to give the baby the middle name of her dad or favourite uncle.
However I agree, if he has made his feelings clear (to her I mean...not to strangers on Reddit) she should consider his feelings, it's his baby too.

She's still close to her ex's family, and say it would mean a lot to them. What's it got to do with them? Nothing.

I hope it's his baby.

by Raggamuffin Sat Feb 23, 2019 1:05 pm

Thor wrote:
Raggamuffin wrote:

It doesn't matter whether it's jealousy or not. It's unbelievable that she even considered it. I don't why some people go out of their way to piss off their partners.

That is your view, others disagree and see nothing wrong here

I mean why would he actually be pissed off, when he is now with here having a child

Its something she feels strongly about and he does not

That is just one of the first sure signs, that relationship is going to fail

As they will need to find common ground

Yes, it is my view. Thanks for stating the obvious.

by Guest Sat Feb 23, 2019 1:05 pm

Raggamuffin wrote:
Syl wrote:

Sounds like jealousy to me, would he be bothered if she wanted to give the baby the middle name of her dad or favourite uncle.
However I agree, if he has made his feelings clear (to her I mean...not to strangers on Reddit) she should consider his feelings, it's his baby too.

She's still close to her ex's family, and say it would mean a lot to them. What's it got to do with them? Nothing.

I hope it's his baby.

Whats wrong with being close to the ex's family?

Is she supposed to cut all ties with friendships she has gained over her life now, when someone dies and she meets someone new?

by Guest Sat Feb 23, 2019 1:06 pm

Raggamuffin wrote:
Thor wrote:

That is your view, others disagree and see nothing wrong here

I mean why would he actually be pissed off, when he is now with here having a child

Its something she feels strongly about and he does not

That is just one of the first sure signs, that relationship is going to fail

As they will need to find common ground

Yes, it is my view. Thanks for stating the obvious.

But you do understand you can never base this on your view?

As that is simple one opinion

All that matters here, is the two involved and like I say. If they fail to resolve this one issue, it soon turns in to a hundred

by Raggamuffin Sat Feb 23, 2019 1:11 pm

Thor wrote:
Raggamuffin wrote:

She's still close to her ex's family, and say it would mean a lot to them. What's it got to do with them? Nothing.

I hope it's his baby.

Whats wrong with being close to the ex's family?

Is she supposed to cut all ties with friendships she has gained over her life now, when someone dies and she meets someone new?

There's nothing wrong with it, but to name their baby after her ex to make them happy is another matter. Why would it make them happy?

by Raggamuffin Sat Feb 23, 2019 1:12 pm

Thor wrote:
Raggamuffin wrote:

Yes, it is my view. Thanks for stating the obvious.

But you do understand you can never base this on your view?

As that is simple one opinion

All that matters here, is the two involved and like I say. If they fail to resolve this one issue, it soon turns in to a hundred

Why can't I? He clearly feels the same. It's not up to you to decide how he should feel.

by Guest Sat Feb 23, 2019 1:13 pm

Raggamuffin wrote:
Thor wrote:

Whats wrong with being close to the ex's family?

Is she supposed to cut all ties with friendships she has gained over her life now, when someone dies and she meets someone new?

There's nothing wrong with it, but to name their baby after her ex to make them happy is another matter. Why would it make them happy?

Its the second first name she has proposed, which like i said, hardly ever people use.

Again I see nothing wrong with this

by Guest Sat Feb 23, 2019 1:14 pm

Raggamuffin wrote:
Thor wrote:

But you do understand you can never base this on your view?

As that is simple one opinion

All that matters here, is the two involved and like I say. If they fail to resolve this one issue, it soon turns in to a hundred

Why can't I? He clearly feels the same. It's not up to you to decide how he should feel.

Because neither of us are this couple (thank goodness Laughing

)

Its down to them to resolve this and no amount of opinions on that will change that

by eddie Sat Feb 23, 2019 1:15 pm

This is what it boils down to:
Does she care enough about her current partner to take his views into account?
Does she care enough about giving her baby her ex’s name as a middle name?

by Raggamuffin Sat Feb 23, 2019 1:16 pm

Thor wrote:
Raggamuffin wrote:

Why can't I? He clearly feels the same. It's not up to you to decide how he should feel.

Because neither of us are this couple (thank goodness )

Its down to them to resolve this and no amount of opinions on that will change that

Well he asked for people's opinions, and so did eddie. If you don't think he should have, you shouldn't be in this thread.

by Raggamuffin Sat Feb 23, 2019 1:18 pm

My view, is the expectant father is over reacting

Why did you give a view then if only their opinions matter Didge?

by Guest Sat Feb 23, 2019 1:18 pm

Raggamuffin wrote:
Thor wrote:

Because neither of us are this couple (thank goodness )

Its down to them to resolve this and no amount of opinions on that will change that

Well he asked for people's opinions, and so did eddie. If you don't think he should have, you shouldn't be in this thread.

Well if he needs to reach out to others, when he should to his own partner to resolve. I think his relationship is doomed to failure

As he will get many differing opinions and will no doubt leave him more confused

The fact he put this up to a vote, was even worse.

by Guest Sat Feb 23, 2019 1:19 pm

Raggamuffin wrote:
My view, is the expectant father is over reacting

Why did you give a view then if only their opinions matter Didge?

I gave both sides did I not?

by Raggamuffin Sat Feb 23, 2019 1:21 pm

Thor wrote:
Raggamuffin wrote:

Why did you give a view then if only their opinions matter Didge?

I gave both sides did I not?

That made it worse.

by Guest Sat Feb 23, 2019 1:22 pm

Raggamuffin wrote:
Thor wrote:

I gave both sides did I not?

That made it worse.

For you?

No problem

I doubt he is reading my views

Anyway, catch you later

by Raggamuffin Sat Feb 23, 2019 1:24 pm

Thor wrote:
Raggamuffin wrote:

That made it worse.

For you?

No problem

I doubt he is reading my views

Anyway, catch you later

It made you even more of a hypocrite. In future, don't question my decision to give an opinion.

by Guest Sat Feb 23, 2019 1:26 pm

Raggamuffin wrote:
Thor wrote:

For you?

No problem

I doubt he is reading my views

Anyway, catch you later

It made you even more of a hypocrite. In future, don't question my decision to give an opinion.

ha ha ha

I will question it if I like

Happy to wear the hypocrite hat here, but as to my later points, they are spot on

Best not ever demand, as you will always be very disappointed

Razz

Laters

by Raggamuffin Sat Feb 23, 2019 1:47 pm

Thor wrote:
Raggamuffin wrote:

It made you even more of a hypocrite. In future, don't question my decision to give an opinion.

ha ha ha

I will question it if I like

Happy to wear the hypocrite hat here, but as to my later points, they are spot on

Best not ever demand, as you will always be very disappointed

Laters

Your points are never spot on, they are irrelevant and usually wrong. If you carry on being an arsehole, you'll be called one. Surprised

by Syl Sat Feb 23, 2019 5:18 pm

eddie wrote:
This is what it boils down to:
Does she care enough about her current partner to take his views into account?
Does she care enough about giving her baby her ex’s name as a middle name?

Exactly.
It's obvious some people wouldn't like it and some people wouldn't mind.
It's up to the couple to sort it out themselves, it's their views that count no one elses.
He obviously does mind, so she would be well advised to listen to him imo.

by HoratioTarr Sat Feb 23, 2019 5:43 pm

eddie wrote:But!
What’s the ex got to do with her new life and baby?

What's anyone got to do with the baby? But you still give it a name, and that name belongs to someone.

by HoratioTarr Sat Feb 23, 2019 5:45 pm

eddie wrote:I don’t want a child of mine having a name anywhere within its names, of someone I didn’t know, didn’t love or don’t give a crap about.
Simple really.

It takes two to have a baby. So why would it take one to name it?

by HoratioTarr Sat Feb 23, 2019 5:54 pm

"I don't want to tell people, especially my son, that he is partly named after another man who his mum loved before me."

This is so immature. As though she's not allowed to remember who she loved before, as though this current partner is the only one she can acknowledge as having loved?

So the guy died of a drug overdose? Does that lessen her love for him? Perhaps he was depressed and committed suicide. Perhaps he took an accidental overdose. The drugs might have been medication, not class A's. The main thing is she loved him. And because the guy died, that love will never ever go. I think he's overreacting. It's like a possession thing.

As for telling the kid. Why tell it anything. And if you do, It's not going to ruin the child's life to be told it has the name of a person his mother loved once upon a time.

by eddie Sat Feb 23, 2019 6:31 pm

HoratioTarr wrote:
eddie wrote:I don’t want a child of mine having a name anywhere within its names, of someone I didn’t know, didn’t love or don’t give a crap about.
Simple really.

It takes two to have a baby. So why would it take one to name it?

Absolutely. So if one disagrees then the name should be dumped.

by Original Quill Sat Feb 23, 2019 6:40 pm

HoratioTarr wrote:
eddie wrote:But!
What’s the ex got to do with her new life and baby?

What's anyone got to do with the baby?

Which takes us back to my question. I think that something is eating at the guy, only he's afraid to bring it out into the open.

BTW, I agree with eds. When it comes to intimate acts like naming a couple's baby, the ex is an interloper.

by eddie Sat Feb 23, 2019 6:47 pm

Original Quill wrote:
HoratioTarr wrote:
eddie wrote:But!
What’s the ex got to do with her new life and baby?

What's anyone got to do with the baby?

Which takes us back to my question. I think that something is eating at the guy, only he's afraid to bring it out into the open.

BTW, I agree with eds. When it comes to intimate acts like naming a couple's baby, the ex is an interloper.

Pretty much yeah.
And both parents should be able to choose the name. If a name isn’t liked by either one of them then the name gets binned.

by Guest Tue Feb 26, 2019 7:54 pm

>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:Well, the guy should get over it, I think. For one, he doesn't have to worry that it's about how she still loves her ex, seeing as they were broken up before he died.

And of course they don't have to explain to the kid, or anybody else, that the ex was a drug addict.

*beta male cuck alert*

by Eilzel Wed Feb 27, 2019 12:22 am

smelly-bandit wrote:
>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:Well, the guy should get over it, I think. For one, he doesn't have to worry that it's about how she still loves her ex, seeing as they were broken up before he died.

And of course they don't have to explain to the kid, or anybody else, that the ex was a drug addict.

*beta male cuck alert*

Careful smelly, you keep sucking up and regurgitating everything your RW youtuber shills keep pumping out you're in danger of becoming one of those NPCs you so dispise Laughing

by eddie Wed Feb 27, 2019 1:21 am

smelly-bandit wrote:
>THE Ben Reilly< wrote:Well, the guy should get over it, I think. For one, he doesn't have to worry that it's about how she still loves her ex, seeing as they were broken up before he died.

And of course they don't have to explain to the kid, or anybody else, that the ex was a drug addict.

*beta male cuck alert*

Ah. And you used little asterisks and everything.
Effort. Nice.

by Guest Wed Feb 27, 2019 2:25 pm

Eilzel wrote:
smelly-bandit wrote:

*beta male cuck alert*

Careful smelly, you keep sucking up and regurgitating everything your RW youtuber shills keep pumping out you're in danger of becoming one of those NPCs you so dispise

do you know what being cucked is??

its blatantly what is happening in this story, and if ben doesnt see a problem with it.......................................

by Ben Reilly Wed Feb 27, 2019 4:04 pm

smelly-bandit wrote:
Eilzel wrote:
smelly-bandit wrote:

*beta male cuck alert*

Careful smelly, you keep sucking up and regurgitating everything your RW youtuber shills keep pumping out you're in danger of becoming one of those NPCs you so dispise

do you know what being cucked is??

its blatantly what is happening in this story, and if ben doesnt see a problem with it.......................................

You seem to have a real problem with women in general. I thought it was about women who get abortions, but it seems to go much further than that.

by Maddog Wed Feb 27, 2019 4:35 pm

I think that no matter what the baby is named, this guy is going to be paying child support.

She is displaying zero respect for the man in her life and I seriously doubt that's going to change.

by Syl Wed Feb 27, 2019 4:50 pm

Maddog wrote:I think that no matter what the baby is named, this guy is going to be paying child support.

She is displaying zero respect for the man in her life and I seriously doubt that's going to change.

He obviously should pay child support, it's his baby.

He should have noticed the lack of respect she was paying him before she got pregnant, it certainly doesn't bode well for a happy relationship if they cant agree on something like this even before the baby is born

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